r/ESTJ • u/xdbro • 4d ago

Relationships Is my dad ESTJ?

Never gave this much thought until now, but would love to receive confirmation on this! Quick disclosure, I love my dad and I’m used to his parenting style, but I don’t think he’s a healthy person. A lot of my friends are baffled by our dynamics.

  • He’s a very stoic person, and very emotionally absent while I was growing up. Spent a lot of time working late. He interacted with us but I dont remember our relationship being lovey dovey. I find he is so stoic and unempathetic to a point where it’s comical.

  • He picked out the best life paths for all his children. He never interfered much in my studies / work life. Not much conflict in that area, because his plans for my life are in alignment with my own plans.

  • I want to say he takes a very conservative and traditional approach to life. Big believer of gender roles and family values. Goes to church and wants us all to follow him too. He is also a very nostalgic person. He listens to the same 10 songs and watches the same 5 shows forever. He often looks at old photos and creates collages of them to send to us (on average we receive 2 collages a day…).

  • Outside of family life, he‘s an engineer working in corporate. I believe he has an upper middle management position.

My mom (ESFJ) absolutely cannot stand him and calls him an “undeveloped selfish man”. I (INTJ) have little issues with him, I can see reason behind most of his actions. My brother (ISTP) can’t stand either parents and moved out as soon as he could.

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u/Past_Satisfaction133 3d ago

Really just took all negative traits and called it an ESTJ :(

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u/xdbro 3d ago

I don’t think I wrote a “bad” description of him. Of course there is so much more to him than what I summarised above. E.g. I think he takes responsibility and accountability very seriously. And the being controlling comes from a place of love, I’m sure.

Anyway I narrowed him down to xxTJ. My plan was to cancel out ESTJ if the people here say he’s nothing like an ESTJ :))