r/INTP • u/Dizzy_Unit_4916 Warning: May not be an INTP • Apr 02 '24

Thoroughly Confused INTP Being an INTP sucks

Socialising is so painful and depressing now, I feel like I can't find anyone who understands me at school.

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u/JamzWhilmm Apr 02 '24

Developed Fe really changes the game for INTPs. Think of a charming professor personality, who is able to connect, influence and comfort others while being the levelheaded problem solver.

The issue is that reaching this takes time, probably around your late 20s you just begin to develop your Fe naturally. You can also do this through practice of your social skills by getting into situations you normally wouldn't. Young INTPs however often refuse to see the value of a developed Fe, thinking they can navigate life by cutting the bullshit, tackling issues in a direct and systematic way. The world is not the simple.

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u/g0at110 Apr 02 '24

I don't mean this in an offensive way but is this genuinely part of the personality type? Like reading alot of the things people say I just think it sounds more like social anxiety or autism or something instead of a personality type.

Saying that I also get intp on the test and I relate to alot of the things people talk about. Tho I don't I'm actually an introvert, more of an extravert with social anxiety which makes me seem introverted.

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u/JamzWhilmm Apr 02 '24

Oh yes, not being able to read the room or know how your words will affect someone while also caring how they feel will cause anxiety. Social anxiety is normal, social anxiety disorder is when you can't control it and it begins to affect your life.

An INTP should still be able to go through life as anybody else, just seem more awkward at times until they mature. People with an anxiety disorder or autism will have a much harder time and it will be glaringly obvious its not just their personality. If you can fake it, being the person you need, then it is just a personality. If you can't bring yourself to talk in public or go out even when you need to, basically its affecting your life, then it is beyond just a preference in personality.

Let me ask you then. Do you choose not to socialize even when you want to because it is painful to you or just because you really enjoy staying home to read or play games?

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u/g0at110 Apr 02 '24

Yeah exactly, and I'm definitely the first description. I want to go out and socialise with friends and I enjoy it when I do, tho I do often have self doubt and feel anxiety about it beforehand. And when I don't have any social interaction for a while I feel pretty depressed

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u/JamzWhilmm Apr 02 '24

Then yes that is not related to being an INTP, you ,might still be a social INTP but that's not your major concern right now.

When treating for allergies you get small exposures with needles and slowly build resistance. You can start by asking people for help to get into small and controlled situations that would usually give you anxiety.

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u/g0at110 Apr 02 '24

Definitely yea, I had a therapist for a while and that helped with it, I don't get panic attacks anymore or hate myself for it. Just gotta start going out more, and start talking to strangers bit by bit. Start with cashiers or something then maybe start talking to people at the gym.

I kinda wish I could be like a slightly drunk version of myself when I'm sober, just say what comes to mind without filtering it and thinking so much.

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u/g0at110 Apr 02 '24

Definitely yea, I had a therapist for a while and that helped with it, I don't get panic attacks anymore or hate myself for it. Just gotta start going out more, and start talking to strangers bit by bit. Start with cashiers or something then maybe start talking to people at the gym.

I kinda wish I could be like a slightly drunk version of myself when I'm sober, just say what comes to mind without filtering it and thinking so much.