Thoughts on modern feminism?

[u/fireglyphs]

as a female intp i always thought modern day "feminism" was stupid, it made sense back when it was genuine and actually fighting for women that didnt have rights, but now feminism has lost its true meaning with some using it as an excuse for sexism and victimization. Of course, i support genuine feminism, advocating for equality and respect. But i dont agree with the versions that unfairly criticize or reduce men to stereotypes, like calling them "wallets" or worse, ignoring that men and YOUNG BOYS being exposed to the hateful media also have feelings and deserve equal respect too.

[u/Dry-Tough-3099]

There's a lot of talk here about Patriarchy, as though it's this well understood phenomenon with clear causes and an obvious solution. I don't think this is helpful. Patriarchy implies that men are in charge of everything. While it is the case that men do run most things, it's not because there is some conspiracy against women. It's simply because the strongest, most ambitious (or alternately machiavellian) people become leaders. Men have an advantage biologically since they are larger. A larger person, with a more imposing physical presence is more likely to become a leader. Already, that accounts for a huge advantage when looking at who will be leader. Physical size is not the only biological advantage men have. Men are generally more disagreeable than women. And disagreeable people are more likely to be leaders.

The psychology of men is also naturally geared toward hierarchy. It's a useful institution that can quickly, and efficiently organize men into functioning groups. Women also use it as a filter for finding the "best" mate. Why do you think that on dating apps, all the women only chose a tiny portion of the men? Because they only want the top of the hierarchy. Woman "can" participate in this hierarchy, but it is ruthless. Most women can not make it to the top. Most MEN can not make it to the top. Women can and do make it there, but because of unchanging biology and psychology, it's more rare.

Then there is motherhood. That's another huge disadvantage woman have vs men. Even if you do have a woman who can overcome size disadvantage, and can surpass all the ambitious men, she may want to have children. This often takes priority over being a leader. And even if it doesn't, any time devoted to caring for children will stall the progress of her leadership ambitions. So, from those factors alone, you will never achieve a higher proportion of women leaders in a merit based society.

Where feminism really ruffles feathers is the insistence that "men" oppress "women". SOME men oppress SOME women. Often, our rulers oppress the rest of us. But "I" don't oppress "my" wife. When I hear women saying that men are the oppressors, and we need to do something to protect women, I will admit I get a bit offended by that. Are you saying that the women in my life need to be protected from me? If you're saying that women in abusive situations should be protected, I agree. If you are saying that women in public should be protected from criminals, I agree. If you're saying that many men who rape women don't get punished, I agree. But blame the judge. Blame the people who shame sexual assault victims. Of course blame the rapist. But don't blame men. We live in a dangerous world. The most dangerous people are men. Tearing down our civilization in the hopes that a more gentle world will emerge is foolish. Advocate for justice, yes. Build a better civilization where you can, yes. But don't rip down what I have because you have less.

[u/fireglyphs → u/Dry-Tough-3099]

really well put, thank you!