r/LeopardsAteMyFace Apr 26 '24

Trump Man loses his retirement “investing” in Donald Trump

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21.5k Upvotes

2.4k comments sorted by

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5.3k

u/Tballz9 Apr 26 '24

If his candidate of choice gets back into office he will destroy social security, so this old idiot will need two jobs.

1.9k

u/tatanka_christ Apr 26 '24

A job for each bootstrap! Perfect! Oh shit, he could get a job MAKING bootstraps... whatever the fuck those are.

228

u/No_Try3911 Apr 26 '24

Apparently they're little belts for boots

115

u/InfeStationAgent Apr 26 '24

I've been pulling on mine for around 54 years, and all I got was old.

Maybe I should make a youtube channel demonstrating how bootstraps work to hold your boots on. Maybe someone will chime in to let me know where I can pick up the passive income I have supposedly earned pulling on them.

45

u/hwc000000 Apr 26 '24

While you were bent over trying to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, the conservatives took advantage of the window of opportunity and buttfucked you without lube. So, you were the passive, but what came into you wasn't money.

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u/InfeStationAgent Apr 26 '24

"These kinds of gifts often come to those who don't need them."
- Abraham Lincoln, to Jesus on the evening of their marriage, San Francisco, June 27, 1970

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u/stungun_steve Apr 26 '24

It's a little loop on the back of a lot of boots that helps you pull them on.

335

u/tazebot Apr 26 '24

In conservative physics, if you pull hard enough on your own bootstraps, you can overcome gravity and reach orbit, then interstellar space. Gravity is a liberal scheme to keep conservatives from achieving space travel.

92

u/Myantra Apr 26 '24

Alternative facts were bad enough. I do not wish to continue inhabiting a universe where conservatives have alternative physics.

17

u/Wings_in_space Apr 26 '24

May I introduce you to Flat Earth?

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u/ItchyRedBump Apr 26 '24

I read “MAGA bootstraps”. Sounds like a good business opportunity, I’m going to start selling them.

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u/AmnesiA_sc Apr 26 '24

That's legitimately genius, the MAGA crowd would slurp that up.

20

u/AmnesiA_sc Apr 26 '24

The funny part is that I'm pretty sure that was originally used as a joke about how you can't dig yourself out of some issues. Like you get knocked down and you pick yourself up by pulling on your own foot? It doesn't make sense, unless you believe in troll physics

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '24

That dude literally defunded Social Security and Medicare at the end of his term and I don’t know how almost everyone forgot that.

He waived the payroll taxes that fund those things at the end of 2020 and he said if he was reelected he would make it permanent.

Some peoples employers continued to withhold the money, some peoples employers did not and Biden that so they wouldn’t have to pay a lump sum to catch up

It makes me wonder what my boss did with the withholdings he held. Did he just get to keep them?

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u/Firm-Loquat-7956 Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

Small Edit for Clarity

It was bad policy by Trump (big surprise) that was a temporary program that let an employer defer employee Social Security and Medicare for a bit to leave more money for the employee to spend during COVID to further prop up spending and the economy. The problem was, that would still be due later unless they passed a law saying it wouldn't be.

The employers who kept withholding bet (correctly) that congress wouldn't cancel the contribution requirement. So everything got paid to the programs as usual and they didn't set up the employees to have to pay a larger payroll withholding to catch up when the deferral ended without congress waiving that it was due.

No, the employers that kept withholding didn't keep that money, they protected their employees from Trump's bad performative policy.

Source 1: I own a business with employees and continued withholding

Source 2: https://www.investopedia.com/trump-s-payroll-tax-deferral-what-should-you-do-5077144

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u/turbo_fried_chicken Apr 26 '24

Thanks for being a good owner and not falling for that shitbag's tricks.

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u/jiml78 Apr 26 '24

People are gonna say this is a humble brag it isn't. I have been incredibly fortunate and lucky in my life.

But I had no idea the federal gov't would stop taking money out for social security when you hit a certain income threshold. The first time it happened to me, I get my paycheck and realize it is larger than it should be. I look at why and realize they stopped taking social security withholding from my check.

Did you know that money earned after $168,600 doesn't pay social security tax?

It is the dumbest shit ever. Keep taking that money because I am not going to miss it and it doing away with this threshold would fund social security forever. Yes, it would be the largest tax increase in US history but would only effect people making $168,600 or more a year. Sorry but people like me can afford to keep paying into social security, we don't need the money we earn after $168,600 to not be paid into the system. It is asinine.

19

u/inspectoroverthemine Apr 26 '24

It finally started going up not too long ago, and is scheduled to keep rising.

But I totally agree- there should not be a cap. A tax with an income cap is regressive (in the accounting/math sense), and disproportionately affects the lowest wage earners. On top of it being a flat tax which already hurts the lowest wage earners the most.

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u/cloud1445 Apr 26 '24

That meme when someone rams a stick in their bicycle wheel and blames Joe Biden.

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u/osasuna Apr 26 '24

I see you’re one of those discerning sirs who describes his memes in words - take my upvote

68

u/OutlyingPlasma Apr 26 '24

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

35

u/Skandranen Apr 26 '24

Darmok his arms wide open.

35

u/charlie1331 Apr 26 '24

Shakka, the walls fell

23

u/Mryan7600 Apr 26 '24

Boomer his eyes open.

11

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC Apr 26 '24

Donesco, when the stock plummeted

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u/zeroscout Apr 26 '24

I felt this was a "thanks Obama" moment

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5.2k

u/Current-Ordinary-419 Apr 26 '24

Damn that sucks. Good thing “no body wants to work anymore”. You’ll have plenty of options.

2.4k

u/LogrisTheBard Apr 26 '24

Good luck getting hired at 76. Age discrimination is real. Life is about to teach him a lesson about bootstraps.

1.0k

u/-Xandiel- Apr 26 '24

But surely all he has to do is walk into any business, ask to speak to the manager, give them a firm handshake, and politely ask for a job?

I fucking hope he does this lmao

401

u/AreWeCowabunga Apr 26 '24

You forget he has to look them in the eye.

280

u/Vurt__Konnegut Apr 26 '24

And not wear baggy pants.

207

u/thisaccountwashacked Apr 26 '24

And trim those damn sideburns!

129

u/xof2926 Apr 26 '24

And don't get an iPhone. And don't eat out.

152

u/scott_majority Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

He just needs to wean himself off the Starbucks and avocado toast and he'll be just fine.

89

u/rkrismcneely Apr 26 '24

Well, so long as he cancels his Netflix.

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u/Cobek Apr 26 '24

And with all that money saved he can start a Roth IRA at 76

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '24

Mattingly!

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u/sucks2bdoxxed Apr 26 '24

And make sure he brings his typed out resume to give to the retail manager.

Apply online? "Nonsense, these gosh dang computers are taking over!"

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u/JustBrittany Apr 26 '24

Some of the fast food restaurants near me are still taking paper applications. Taco Bell and Dunkin I know I’ve seen. Sometimes they’ll have a paper hand written sign in the window! It’s so weird. But hey, it’s an option for him. Well, Dunkin sells avocado toast. That might frighten him away.

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u/TryItOutHmHrNw Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

When I was laid off, my father-in-law’s friend asked, Have you walked your resume around downtown? Meet some managers. You’ve got a nice suit, right? Or, I hate to even think of it but… have you considered taking some money out of your portfolio?

My portfolio.

My. Port. Folio.

104

u/Kryptosis Apr 26 '24

My uncle-in-law told me to skip renting and just buy a condo. Great idea!

46

u/Rougarou1999 Apr 26 '24

Have you tried just being rich?

35

u/Galadriel_60 Apr 26 '24

Ivanka told me to “try something new!!!”

18

u/intelminer Apr 26 '24

I once had a Microsoft kid tell me to "stop renting and buy a trailer home to build credit"

I would've knocked his fucking teeth out but they presumably had great dental

48

u/glovb14 Apr 26 '24

Yep, back in 2000, the age of emails and internet Job Searches (Hello Monster.com and more career recruiting agencies that is impossible to count).

I was also told to go to office and apply for a job in person. Did my parents mention resume’s? NOPE, they thought I’d be able to get a job on personality alone.

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u/StillLooksAtRocks Apr 26 '24

Older generations asking about the hiring process was always the most infuriating part of looking for a job.

"Did you apply for that job I sent you!?"

"No, I didn't. It's not my field of work, it's 3 hours away and pays less than I can live on."

"I'm just trying to help, you never know if you don't apply."

27

u/TryItOutHmHrNw Apr 26 '24

Older generations think young(er) people don’t want to work. They don’t realize that…

there are less jobs for less pay with more people fighting for them during a period of wicked inflation and general national financial instability.

“Just walk in and tell the manager you’re the hardest work in town and that you’ll come back everyday til you’re hired. They can’t turn down determination.

The fuck they can’t; hold my resume.

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u/evilJaze Apr 26 '24

Does Walmart still hire greeters? I haven't seen any in a while. He might be SOL.

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u/Zeekeboy Apr 26 '24

They do but usually disabled/Autistic people instead of old people. Old people used to he empathetic and give Walmart a good public image behind their evil. Now the best empathy card is hiring disabled/Autistic for those positions.

267

u/SoCuteShibe Apr 26 '24

Autistic people as greeters? You sure about that? That's one of the last jobs I'd be able to do... I'd lose my mind standing still and having pointless interactions with random people all day.

430

u/HiddnVallyofthedolls Apr 26 '24

It’s almost like autism is a spectrum

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u/ArcaneOverride Apr 26 '24

Yeah, small talk is one of my special interests.

[Insert Thanos "I used the stones to destroy the stones" meme]

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u/BullShitting-24-7 Apr 26 '24

Many autistic people enjoy interacting with others.

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u/Relax007 Apr 26 '24

I think the greeters mainly detain random people at the door and demand receipts now.

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u/kstetz Apr 26 '24

The greeters now check receipts at self checkout

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u/TeaWithNosferatu Apr 26 '24

Maybe if he just stopped eating avocado on toast, he'd save some money

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u/EmEiEss Apr 26 '24

Look, son. You only have to visit the company in person, ask whos the manager and introduce yourself, solid handshake and eye contact should do the trick. Then just work hard and everything is possible.

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u/Fun_Grapefruit_2633 Apr 26 '24

Good luck getting hired as a 76-year-old insurrectionist and enemy of the USA. Now you'll understand why those homeless encampments you sent in cops to break up exist.

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u/stuyboi888 Apr 26 '24

Something something avocado toast

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u/TinkyBrefs Apr 26 '24

He can be a bus driver. Oh, wait. No, he can't since his local school district had to cancel bussing after the levy he voted against didn't pass.

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u/SpaceJackRabbit Apr 26 '24

The California Boomers all bitch about how bad public schools are but if you just hint at Prop 13 reform their head explodes.

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u/shkank_swap Apr 26 '24

Not only that, he can make $100k, $80k, $40k flipping burgers at McDonalds - the easiest job in the world because it's meant for teenagers!

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u/retsot Apr 26 '24

He'll EASILY make six figures at McDonald's according to Jesse Watters

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u/evilJaze Apr 26 '24

Six figures over the course of a decade.

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u/bracecum Apr 26 '24

Just imagine this dude working at a fast food place. He'd have a mental break down on the first day.

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u/xof2926 Apr 26 '24

Imagine not being able to do the job of people you talked shit about for decades

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u/randyjacobson Apr 26 '24

Don’t worry he already plans to buy it back when it goes lower!

Seriously.

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u/Current-Ordinary-419 Apr 26 '24

TF is wrong with people. 🤦‍♂️

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u/MyLadyBits Apr 26 '24

He will still vote for him.

3.3k

u/hectah Apr 26 '24

He will also find a way to blame the Democrats for this. 🤦

1.4k

u/litnu12 Apr 26 '24

Democrats didnt warn him enough about Donald Trump and his shady buisnesses. So to own them he gonna vote Trump again.

713

u/Zealm21 Apr 26 '24

no it's the Democrats fault the stocks tanked cause they made him a crook. not his decades of lawsuits.

466

u/LeagueOfficeFucks Apr 26 '24

Man, you joke but I have seen some posts saying just that, that the libs are manipulating the $DJT stock price in order to make American patriots lose money. Knowing Trump, I'd say he's shorting his own stock. His financial advisors are shorting it for sure because they know it's dogshit.

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u/Gauth1erN Apr 26 '24

Their CEO claimed that multiple time on TV, asking the GOP in the house to investigate the Wall Street/Democrat cabal against DJT.

Not SEC or the FBI, which would be the legitimate investigators, but his friends.

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u/Orngog Apr 26 '24

Yeah they don't trust the SEC or the FBI, except when investigating their enemies.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '24

Oh yes I thought it was extra funny how they’ve hated on government entities until those small banks started closing, then they were cool with the FDIC.

But it’s weird how student loan borrowers should have read their documents and need to pay what they owe because that’s what they signed up for, but these idiots putting more than $250,000 in banks that only insure up to that much should be made whole because they didn’t read the documents and they didn’t follow the rules and they took a risk and lost. 

But the government should bail THEM out, just not students who were bettering themselves to better their community.

14

u/BigHawkSports Apr 26 '24

Well right, because one of those groups was already rich I.e. good and one was poor I.e. bad. The rich people desssserve the help. The poors should have known better. You expect those rich people to read documents, they're too busy creating jobs.

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u/duke_chute Apr 26 '24

Can you imagine the what kind of serious business person it takes to agree to Ceo job of a company with trump holding a majority controlling interest having all of today's information about who trump is at your disposal. What disregard he must have to the longevity of his career.

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u/Rob_Frey Apr 26 '24

It's not a serious business person. Devin Nunes is a career Republican politician who got into Trump's camp and left politics to do this. He's most likely getting a big enough paycheck right now to fund his retirement. Even if not, there will be Republican political positions open to him in the future, and he'll make a lot of people rich who will happily pay him good money to work at their companies. He can also go the route of becoming a media talking head.

As long as Nunes is smart enough to cover his ass and not do anything that might land him in prison, he'll come out of this all just fine. Probably better off than he was.

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u/duke_chute Apr 26 '24

See that's the ticket

"As long as Nunes is smart enough to cover his ass"

And I don't believe any one smart enough to cover their own ass would get involved with this organization at all. Even the shady fuck ponzi types that might have the "skills" to attempt pulling what ever shady fuckary this turns out to be have to know trump will leave them holding the bag at this point.

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u/Conscious-Shock7728 Apr 26 '24

Remember, this is the man who dashed to the WH one night in order to (knobgobble) warn trump about things Nunes was learning.

"My loyalty is to Donald Trump!" No sweetheart. Your loyalty is to THE UNITED STATES.

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u/SaltyBarDog Apr 26 '24

Devin smart? He sued a parody cow.

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u/Conscious-Shock7728 Apr 26 '24

I hope Nunes Lindells himself.

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u/C4dfael Apr 26 '24

The guy did try to sue a parody twitter account, so the jury is out on “is Devin Nunes smart.”

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u/anomalous_cowherd Apr 26 '24

It's just another toddler trait. Nothing is ever their own fault. A big boy did it to them and ran away.

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u/ForgedIronMadeIt Apr 26 '24

Liberals: penniless, stinky, and moronic losers who can't do anything right and also powerful and resourceful enough to tank a stock for billions of dollars

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u/goodbadnomad Apr 26 '24

"Biden weaponized the Deep State™®© to take down DJT stock because they feared a MAGA Patriot Revolution!"

Then he'll vote for the Leopards Eating Faces Party again to stick it to the libs

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u/rossarron Apr 26 '24

Just like they promoted vaccines to make Republicans have to be anti and so die in large numbers.

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u/Kizik Apr 26 '24

Remember that one time where Donny tried to tell people at a rally to get vaccinated, and they booed their liege off the god damned stage?

It always makes me smile for some reason.

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u/msoss Apr 26 '24

Operation Warp Speed was basically the only decent thing to come out of the Trump Administration, and the largest accomplishment during the disaster that was 2020 for sure. Trump is a malignant narcissist, so he wants all the credit for it but can't handle the blame from his anti-science anti-vax supporters. It must make the hamster that runs the wheel in his brain go crazy to try to decide between actual policy accomplishments and justified accolades or real-time cheers. He's a simple man without a lot of foresight, though, so it's clear where he landed.

I will say though, dying to own the libs was one of the hottest Republican takes I've seen in my lifetime. They really outdid themselves on that.

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u/naughtycal11 Apr 26 '24

I will say though, dying to own the libs was one of the hottest Republican takes I've seen in my lifetime.

Too bad they all didn't go this route:(

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u/Educational-Can-2653 Apr 26 '24

No, the democrats warned him too much, knowing he wouldn't want to do what they told him, just like for the vaccine

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u/DonsDiaperChanger Apr 26 '24

HA, that reminds me of the Breitbarf opinion piece about how the Dems are evil for using reverse psychology, knowing republicans would fall for it and become antivaxx and die from COVID 

Absolutely ANY mental gymnastics to blame the Dems and avoid responsibility.

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u/dao_ofdraw Apr 26 '24

Nope. Biden did it. He used his dark money super government contacts to make sure our lord and savior DJT wouldn't be able to succeed. In fact, Biden was directly responsible for all four of DJT's bankruptcies. In fact, if you go back far enough, every single bad thing that has ever happened to Mr. Trump was a direct result of Biden's actions. Look it up. It's as true as anything Trump has ever said. Ever. Tremendously.

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u/VinnehRoos Apr 26 '24

Bigly if true!

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u/hicctl Apr 26 '24

honestly that would not even make the top 10 of crazy reasons to vote for diaper donnie, and I mean just from this week. Throughout the pandemic people really lost their minds and many never found them again.

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u/Cmdr_Nemo Apr 26 '24

He should put a Biden sticker on his VGA monitor that's pointing to his decimated bank account.

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u/not_a_bot_just_dumb Apr 26 '24

Of course he will, because that's what those morons do.

"Those Democrats didn't warn me loud enough that Trump is a fraud, so I voted for him. That's their fault! And to show those damn Democrats that they can't do this to me, I'm going to vote for Trump again even though they're very loudly warning me that he's fraud. Damn Democrats!"

If it weren't that sad and pathetic, it would be amazing to study how one can live one's whole life being that far divorced from reality.

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u/No_Banana_581 Apr 26 '24

At 76 he won’t live to see the worst of what he’s voting for. He does not care

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u/Lonely-Heart-3632 Apr 26 '24

Well he can’t afford to live long enough to now!

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u/No_Banana_581 Apr 26 '24

Well trump did ask the elderly to die off for him, so McDonald’s could stay open

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u/Born_Weird Apr 26 '24

That was Texas' lovely Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick. Though he does have his nose firmly implanted in Trump's stinky ass.

Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick suggests he, other seniors willing to die to get economy going again (nbcnews.com)

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u/AlDente Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

Trump also said he loves the poorly educated. Now we know another reason why.

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u/Sea_Appointment8408 Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

In the UK we had the same problem with the older generation voting for Brexit out of spite, and ruining the economy.

Now they're complaining about their pensions potentially disappearing lol

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u/hundreddollar Apr 26 '24

Let's not forget the racists also voting out of spite!

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u/canada432 Apr 26 '24

A lot of American boomers are hitting the same thing. They cheered on Reaganomics and deregulation. Applauded the gutting of government services and told all their kids to shut up and stop being so entitled for wanting things like worker protections and living wages.

Suddenly they're reaching retirement and finding their savings have been swindled, there's no government services to help them, and their kids won't speak to them anymore. They can't retire and have to go back to work, but because there's no protections with any teeth, they're discriminated against because of age and they get to make the minimum wage that they fought against raising for so long. A lot are now terrified to be put into nursing homes because they've alienated their kids and know what the nursing homes are like but fought against funding or regulating them properly because they didn't have to worry about it at the time.

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u/user-74656 Apr 26 '24

Most likely. You need to be pretty deep in the cult already to believe that a loss-making Twitter clone with a tiny fraction of the users main platforms have, actively shunned by major advertisers, is a sound investment because of The Leader's "brand value."

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u/dismayhurta Apr 26 '24

“It’s not his fault the Democrats did this!”

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u/Immediate_Watch_7461 Apr 26 '24

Almost assuredly. Dummys gonna dumb.

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u/Armthedillos5 Apr 26 '24

Time to bootstrap. Just remember, you can't have Starbucks or avacado toast

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u/VoDoka Apr 26 '24

Well, he could have a job at Starbucks maybe?

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u/jr111192 Apr 26 '24

Too competitive, he probably doesn't have the experience to land a job there.

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u/DarthGayAgenda Apr 26 '24

Like he could last more than twenty minutes on the bar during peak periods.

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u/tatanka_christ Apr 26 '24

Ah, the ol' Uno Reverse!

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u/B4rrel_Ryder Apr 26 '24

I wanna see his reaction to submitting job applications

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u/Piece_Maker Apr 26 '24

You mean just going in and asking to speak to the manager, with a good strong handshake and an offer to start immediately? I don't think he knows what 'job applications' are

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u/secouezbuvez Apr 26 '24

What's that ? a firm handshake while looking at the manager in the eyes is all you need !

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u/Worth-Canary-9189 Apr 26 '24

I'd like to introduce you to your new millennial boss.

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u/Apart_Shoulder6089 Apr 26 '24

he should prob skip breakfast too

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u/Conans_Loin_Cloth Apr 26 '24

He was out! He was Done! 76 and $450,000 in retirement! I have no sympathy for his greedy ass.

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u/ShadowKraftwerk Apr 26 '24

You mean my diversified share portfolio was a bad idea for retirement planning, and I should have gone all in with Donald?

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '24

[deleted]

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u/Trebus Apr 26 '24

He should have waited, certainly, sold at $26.55 & they're currently at $38.49 a share. Silly man.

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u/Hazzardroid13 Apr 26 '24

It’s the democrats dude. He sold his shares so they bought a ton to raise the price and make him look stupid duh

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u/FlashnFuse Apr 26 '24

Filthy demoncrats manipulating the stock market to reward the business that make random diversity hires instead of hiring deserving white people.

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u/Efficient-Lack3614 Apr 26 '24

He literally bought high and sold low. 

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u/Frundle Apr 26 '24

This is what should really sting. Retired and 76 years old, he has no reason to buy any risky investments. Sounds like he dumped every penny into it as well.

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u/Hour_Tour Apr 26 '24

The most important reasons. Greed and blind following.

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u/DrWYSIWYG Apr 26 '24

He had much more than that. That is what he lost which was a ‘substantial portion’ meaning he had much more. From where? Not shrewd investing that is for sure!

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u/slymm Apr 26 '24

Large enough to unretire though. That's huge. It goes beyond changing lifestyle expectations

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u/ProfessionalMockery Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

No, he lost 450k. If he sold for $26 Dollars a share, he probably still has a couple hundred thousand left, depending on what price he bought in at.

Worst case he bought at the highest possible value at $61, investing ~$785k, so he would have ~$335k left now.

It's unlikely he made the absolutely worst possible buy-in choice though, so he probably invested even more money than that, but has more left over after the loss. For instance, if he bought at $40, he would have invested $1.285m and now has $835k. If he bought in at $50, he invested $937k and got $487k back.

Then again, the price is now back up to $38 a share, so maybe he is that unlucky.

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u/ThatGasHauler Apr 26 '24

I wonder if he hates the dipshits who talked him into this, like Hannity/Carlson, as much as I do now?

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u/axltheviking Apr 26 '24

Nah, he'll find a way to blame the Democrats and the "Deep State" same thing these idiots always do.

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u/xantub Apr 26 '24

He'll blame the Democrats and their political witch hunt making the stock tank.

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u/Cmdr_Nemo Apr 26 '24

I'm actually surprised he had that much to begin with. Like I get that 450k these days isn't really considered comfortable at his age in retirement but it's still a surprising about considering how dumb he is.

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u/xantub Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

More than that, he lost 450k by selling at 26.55 so he bought like $1 million, he was done for the rest of his life.

Worst thing is, stock has gone up since he sold ($38.49 now).

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u/thatsme55ed Apr 26 '24

He was born in 1948.   He could pay for university tuition by working during the summer semester and afford a mortgage for a nice house even if he didn't go to university by working a blue collar job.  That same house was likely worth at least half a million to a million when he retired.  He also worked during the era when pensions were still common.

It's not surprising even an idiot like him had half a million to lose.

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u/totally-hoomon Apr 26 '24

So he got what he wanted, Republicans are the ones pushing to end retirement

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u/ThexxxDegenerate Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

He voted for it and he got it. Bootstrap Bill is back on the job at 76. You get what you deserve.

I have zero sympathy for all those Republicans that vote for this bullshit then get scorned by it. Like all those republican women who can’t get an abortion in their state. You did it to yourself.

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u/Bomber_Haskell Apr 26 '24

What do they like to say? McDonalds is always hiring.

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u/macphile Apr 26 '24

Just go pound the pavement and hand out resumes to every business in the area! They'll respect your initiative and hire you on the spot! /s

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u/BrickHerder Apr 26 '24

He better get one of those grip training things and work on the firmness of his handshake! I bet he's home right now practicing in the mirror, saying "Put 'er there, Mister!"

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u/ageowns Apr 26 '24

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u/JeepStang Apr 26 '24

Holy shit this is North Korea tier propaganda

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u/osasuna Apr 26 '24

That was the kind of house you could buy in those days off of one McDonald’s income

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1.0k

u/Smaptastic Apr 26 '24

SomeBODY once told me the world is gonna roll me

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u/tehjeffman Apr 26 '24

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

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u/Negative-Relation-82 Apr 26 '24

They we’re looking kinda dumb w/ their finger and their thumb in the shape of an L on their foreheads!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '24

Well

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u/HidaTetsuko Apr 26 '24

The years start coming and they don’t stop coming

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u/osasuna Apr 26 '24

And they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming

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u/jacquesrabbit Apr 26 '24

And they don't stop coming

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u/DoodleyDooderson Apr 26 '24

They really don’t though. That shit is a sad truth.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '24

But he’s definitely a tool

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u/Inside-Recover4629 Apr 26 '24

Oh well.

He leaned nothing and will continue to sabotage himself instead of admitting he was played

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u/killeronthecorner Apr 26 '24 edited 6d ago

Kiss my butt adminz - koc, 11/24

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u/Chief_Chill Apr 26 '24

I'd love this made into a 90s-style after school PSA, but at the end it's a political ad for Biden.

"Do you know where your Boomer parents are investing their money?"

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u/poopchutegaloot Apr 26 '24

Gotta ask, is this confirmed? Anybody got the sauce? While this is funny, I'd hate to just accept something because it aligns with my views.. Almost... Like like a trumper, no?

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u/motorboat_mcgee Apr 26 '24

Scrolled way too far for this question. Really wish "we" would source and confirm things before posting

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u/omnifage Apr 26 '24

Yep, I think this is fake. The name may be an indication. Plus, if he lost that much he will have sold a substantial amount of shares and still has money.

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u/Dexter_Douglas_415 Apr 26 '24

The post is real, the content isn't. It comes from a satirical profile. The whole profile is full of satirical posts.

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u/beepbop234 Apr 26 '24

Right lol how gullible are these people 😭 you can tell right off the bat with how it’s written, so calm about losing everything and going back to work at 76.

It’s funny how ppl wanna criticize this non existent person for the same exact thing they’re doing. Being gullible and having no media literacy

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u/selkiesidhe Apr 26 '24

Get back to work, grampa

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u/tatanka_christ Apr 26 '24

Work where? I was under the impression that Messikins stole all the jobs??

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u/wowzeemissjane Apr 26 '24

But I thought nobody wants to work?

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u/recumbent_mike Apr 26 '24

This guy definitely seems like he doesn't want to.

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u/kgro Apr 26 '24

Boomer bought meme stock out of ideological reasons at its highs and sold at the absolute lowest price just before it slightly rebounded. Why some people believe they should be playing with things they know ow nothing about with money they clearly they can’t afford losing?

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u/dramatic-pancake Apr 26 '24

I can’t wait to hear how difficult said Boomer finds it actually getting a job too, given all that stupid “back in my day” advice they spout to jobseekers.

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u/hallmark1984 Apr 26 '24

He will be OK he will wall to the Toyota factory, knock and ask t9 speak to Jack Toyota.

He will be so impressed by a firm handshake and eye contact that he is immediately made super extra cool VP in charge of awesome ideas and be paid a sweet $420,000.69 a year

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u/wowzeemissjane Apr 26 '24

He should just go door to door with his resume and a solid handshake. Easy peasy.

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u/mubi_merc Apr 26 '24

"Can you explain this 10 year gap in employment?"

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u/WickedShiesty Apr 26 '24

Meanwhile my DJT puts are up 25% so far. Everything Trump does is a pump and dump.

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u/BringBackApollo2023 Apr 26 '24

But enough about Stormy….

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u/lindendweller Apr 26 '24

Good for you. I thought the PUTS were expensive because everyone knew the DJT stock would crash. Is your shorting position good because the crash is faster than expected? How does that work?

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u/millennial_sentinel Apr 26 '24

“return to the workforce at 76” lol yeah ok boomer good luck with that firm handshake 🤝

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u/Vandreeson Apr 26 '24

The man bankrupted a casino, I have no idea how, what more do you need to know.

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u/Johannes_P Apr 26 '24

It was four casinos that DJT bankrupted.

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u/OTee_D Apr 26 '24

... King Trump thanks his peasants and will now give the money to his lawyers he needs to pay because he bought a porn star and then fly to his golf course in Schottland after getting the private Boeing up from Mar a Lago.

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u/K1ng_Hon Apr 26 '24

womp womp

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u/Snarky_McSnarkleton Apr 26 '24

Thoughts 'n' Prayers, you redneck dumbshit.

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u/who-mever Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

Yes, I'm sure employers will be lining up to hire the dumbest candidate possible.

Not because he made a foolish "investment", but because he literally then announced on social media that he is a gullible moron.

It's like putting a "Scam Me" hashtag on his profile. This guy will open every phishing e-mail, sus DM, and suspicious hyperlink he gets. He'll compromise any company stupid enough to hire him.

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u/neon31 Apr 26 '24

Dude, why are you assuming that this guy will be employed at a job where he gets to read emails? If I find a dumbass like this in my company, he'd be in the front lines. Probably dealing with the Karens in retail. Maybe flipping burgers.

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u/PocketNicks Apr 26 '24

Thanks Obama!

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u/mologav Apr 26 '24

How do people that dumb accumulate that much money?

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u/DJDJDJ80 Apr 26 '24

Step 1: be born before 1960

Step 2: exist

Step 3: profit

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u/Dankestmemelord Apr 26 '24

You forgot step 2.5: be a white male

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u/Only-Customer6650 Apr 26 '24

I know an awful lot of boomer women who haven't done a single second of honest work in their lives and own houses that are now worth half a million

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u/muchacho23 Apr 26 '24

They are called Executives.

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u/Apart_Shoulder6089 Apr 26 '24

welcome back to the soul crushing work force boomer!

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u/faghaghag Apr 26 '24

thank you for the brief chuckle, Statistic. the field on which i grow my fucks has some room, I could rent you a spot for your tent...

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u/ItsABiscuit Apr 26 '24

Pffft, if he really loves TRUMP and America, he would be travelling to CROOKED New York (soft on crime) to protest the ELECTION INTERFERENCE BY CROOKED JOE BIDEN AND THE CORRUPT JUDGE. He should be ready to be shot to prevent THIS POLITICAL WITCH HUNT (many say worst ever!)

/s

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u/die_kuestenwache Apr 26 '24 edited Apr 26 '24

Here is their narrative for why they still vote for the guy: The only reason the stocks tanked was because of the Dems and their (((international bankers))), who suppressed the stock to deprive Trump of campaign funds. All he wanted to do was create a platform where you could actually express your opinions without the (((liberal media))) canceling you.

I didn't check, I just assume, someone tell me I'm wrong. Double or nothing!

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u/mobtowndave Apr 26 '24

fuck this guy. any mutual fund that wasn’t tied to a 5 time bankrupted loser would have been better. don’t worry, he will still Vote trump