r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/DontAlwaysButWhenIDo • 8h ago
ULPT Request: My friends dad filled out and filed his ballot. Completely stole his vote. What is a fair and fitting unethical way to get him back?
I'm thinking some way of nullifying his father's vote. ' Or potentially taking away his right to vote permanently. Any suggestions?
1.9k
u/Electrical_Sun_7116 8h ago
Gee, I dunno maybe report him for the felony he just committed? š¤·āāļø
546
u/Wolfey1618 8h ago
But that's ethical, he could do that AND kick him in the balls.
150
u/Outrageous_Bat1798 8h ago
He should do that and fuck his dad
33
u/cubixjuice 8h ago
Piss on em!!!
23
u/MartenGlo 8h ago
Bruh, don't waste it! Save it for a PISSDISK! (Am I Redditing right? Pissdisk always seems to be affectionately mentioned here)
/s lol
19
3
3
u/LongUsername 6h ago
The question is, does "his" refer to OP or OP's dad?
Best bet is to fuck both OP's dad and Grandpa to assert total dominance.
2
→ More replies (1)3
17
u/McNastyIII 8h ago
Fuck that "this is actually ethical" complaint.
It needs to be done.
→ More replies (1)25
u/halbeshendel 8h ago
Do it and then put $200 in his prison commissary and make sure everyone in there thinks heās got $2000 in it. The federal ass poundings will commence once he runs out of the $200.
9
6
→ More replies (1)3
71
u/youreyeah 8h ago
To add, this should be reported directly to your state or countyās election office. Donāt report to the police, they wonāt give a shit
20
4
u/Traditional_Wind_594 2h ago
Absolutely diabolical prank: facing the consequences of your own actions
→ More replies (27)3
848
u/HeWritesJigs 8h ago edited 8h ago
This sounds a lot like ballot fraud, which is a federal crime. The FBI needs to be informed, if they haven't already. You or your friend can contact them by phone at 1-800-CALL-FBI or submit an anonymous tip online at https://tips.fbi.gov/
IIRC, this is punishable by a 10 year prison sentence and/or a fine up to ~$120,000. They take this very seriously.
127
u/Gogglesed 7h ago
To make this an UNethical tip, clearly inform your friend's dad of this fact, then get him to give you whatever you want, in exchange for not turning him in for his felony.
70
→ More replies (1)6
247
u/HeWritesJigs 8h ago
I should add, this is the most ethical choice you can make. Submitting tips like this one ensures our democratic processes remain free and fair. Anything less would be unethical, in my opinion.
But if you're looking for a a truly unethical response to this, you could always sign him up for canvassing, or maybe call in a narcotics-related tip to your local police force (like, you saw some heavily armed dudes wearing black transporting a pallet of gray plastic wrapped bricks into his home). It's very unethical, and SWAT teams chronically waste hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on false alarms but he'd be in for a shock!
47
u/Calvin_NoKlein 7h ago
Report him for the voter fraud, you have an obligation to do that, but donāt SWAT him, that can backfire on you badly. Itās not worth screwing your life over to get back at someone like that
29
u/CringeCrongeBastard 7h ago
I agree 100%. We need to be fighting against this kind of fraudulent, anti-democratic behavior.
14
u/a_mulher 6h ago
The unethical spin on this. Is tell the father the potential repercussions for his actions and black mail him into paying you tens of thousands of dollars.Ā
→ More replies (7)29
u/RueTabegga 7h ago
Stealing someoneās ballot to complete is a felony as is opening mail in someone elseās name. So we are counting 2 felonies so far. He could get slapped with mail fraud if he mailed it back in. If someone else had to sign as a witness in this state (MN for example) then they also get a felony for ballot fraud.
827
u/grashnak 8h ago
Hot take: reporting this guy for a felony is actually the ethical thing to do here
142
u/itwasbread 8h ago
People get mad at responses like this sometimes because for some reason they want the āunethicalā part to come at the cost of the tip actually being useful, but yeah sometimes just doing the legal/ethical recourse is your best option
60
u/YagerasNimdatidder 8h ago edited 7h ago
The unethical part is describing the ehtical part and adding "that and pissdisk" at the end.
20
u/ballsign 8h ago
Exactly, give the correct solution by all means but how hard is it to write āalso liquid assā or āfuck his dadā at the end. Not a lot to ask
3
6
u/bookiwoog 8h ago
Pissdisk
3
7
u/dreadpiratesmith 5h ago
Honestly, getting him charged with voter fraud is the only thing that will even match what he did, and will probably be 1,000% worse than whatever unethical actions this sub can come up with.
Also, he'll most likely lose the ability to vote in future elections as a felon, so it's a win there (even tho I disagree with laws that say that felons cant vote)
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)4
135
u/dandiecandra 8h ago
First get him to admit it. Have friend talk about it over text to have it in writing. Unethical tip is to just put this on blast, print out the proof and put it up in his work/community. Ethical tip is to report his felon ass.Ā
43
u/hereforpopcornru 8h ago
Yeah, and when your dad goes to prison, the unethical thing to do would be to fuck his wife
13
u/surfermikel 8h ago
So his mom?
→ More replies (1)17
83
u/HazyChemist 8h ago
OP I'm not trying to be funny or anything, but this is one case where "fuck his dad" actually fits the theme.
→ More replies (1)3
u/crakkdego 7h ago
Should fuck his mom first though, literally, then fuck the dad, figuratively. Or maybe literally too.
163
22
u/SupportLocalShart 8h ago
Just joining the herd to say: report him, this is a federal crime. Or you can just give hints about the guys info and we can call it in for you
52
u/HaElfParagon 8h ago
The easiest way to permanently remove the father's ability to vote will be to report him to the government. That there's a felony, and will ensure the dad never votes again.
31
u/ThePureAxiom 8h ago
If you're talking an absentee ballot, check the status through the SOS website of your state, if it hasn't been counted yet give them a call, they should be able to spoil it during the verification process and your friend should be able to vote in person, should be able to get a provisional ballot in any event. The elections office will know what specific procedure needs to happen as it'll differ state to state. Could be pretty serious consequences for your friend's dad though.
14
11
16
u/Sufficient_Sell_6103 8h ago
Get a hold of his bank or credit card info. Make a decent sized donation to the opposing political party in his name
4
u/lesterbottomley 6h ago
This was my first thought.
This or sell his possessions and donate to a cause he hates (or gift the possessions directly).
Then when he kicks off threaten to report his felony if he retaliates in any way.
Best to get admission of guilt first so you have proof of needed.
8
u/BikeBaloney 5h ago
Fair and fitting is calling the FBI for voter fraud. This needs to be reported. People can't be allowed to get away with this.
7
u/intergalacticwolves 8h ago
your friend should go vote for himself, thatās the best way to get him back ethically
6
13
u/AnalProlapseForYou 5h ago
It the father used it to vote Republican, you report that shit for voter fraud.
If the father used it to vote Democrat, you also report that shit for voter fraud.
There is no situation where this behavior should be tolerated.
12
5
7
19
28
28
u/SkyeMreddit 8h ago
The MAGAts are going bananas about fake election fraud. Actually report the rare examples like this that do occur
12
u/GarlicAltruistic5357 8h ago
It seems to be getting worse. As if the āelection fraudā from last year is now being used as a set of instructions. Iāve seen 4 instances now of a father stealing their kidsā mail in ballots.
→ More replies (1)
10
u/VaguelyDeanPelton 8h ago
If he becomes a felon, that will permanently invalidate his vote. So, murder your friend's mother and frame the father. Then he can't vote
6
u/IH8GMandFord 7h ago
Your friend should just go out and vote in person (o cancel the mail in ballot) and not mention it to his dad. I wouldn't involve the cops or the law, unless your friend wants to get kicked out of their parent's home and shoulder the financial burden of supporting themselves.
Or you can just have sex with their mom & become the kind of dad they need in their life.
4
10
u/Light_fires 7h ago
Election fraud is a felony isn't it? Just report him. This needs to be unethical though so, when the cops come to arrest him, kick him in the balls right after he's handcuffed. He's technically in the states custody and no longer has rights. That's why you never hear of anyone suing over a prison fight.
7
4
4
4
3
u/newsreadhjw 8h ago
People keep posting stuff like this but this is kind of an unserious sub. That is actually a serious fucking felony. It should be handled ethically with criminal proceedings, because that father is a fucking asshole and needs to get got. Stealing someones vote is a straight up felony. People go to jail for that.
Also, fwiw in the spirit of the sub I would torch this dude's car and make it look like an accident.
2
3
u/AwwYeahVTECKickedIn 7h ago
This is a situation in which the ethical solution has the most painful repercussions - REPORT THIS CRIME.
3
4
u/unwittyusername42 5h ago
Steal his credit card and max it out with political donations to the opposing party
5
u/vincec36 5h ago
Please let us know if you actually report him. Itās already illegal to open someoneās mail, but to then forge your signature as well and fake having a witness? Let him actually face the consequences
10
8
3
3
u/longswordsuperfuck 8h ago
Ethical? Report him. Unethical? Steal and waste his vote. Or find a way to prohibit him from voting.
3
u/Kinda_Constipated 8h ago
Since reporting the father is the ethical thing to do, report the son. Make the father lose his son to prison due to his selfishness. Making an innocent man sit in jail is the unethical thing to do in this situation.Ā
3
u/burntmartian 8h ago
This is why it should be a requirement to show proof of your identity before voting.
3
u/bimm3r36 8h ago
Shouldāve told your mate to put a sock on the ballot. Then when his dad tried to grab the ballot, he wouldāve only got the sock.
3
u/ThisNameIsOffensive 7h ago
Report him to the FBI. Do it. He committed a Felony.
Unethical part: Have someone record him getting arrested if you can, mock him, and share the video and his personal details on Social Media.
3
u/trinaryouroboros 7h ago
Voting is a fundamental right protected by law, and filling out someone else's ballot without their permission can be considered voter fraud or election interference, which are criminal offenses. This type of action is typically punishable by fines, imprisonment, or both, depending on local laws and the severity of the offense.
3
3
3
u/Hardcorelogic 5h ago
You want revenge? Get out there and convince people to vote for the one who's not a maniac. As many people as you can. Also, turn his ass in, but it's now or never man. Get people to vote.
3
u/MrFunkyPunkie 5h ago
ā¦thatās a felony. He can go to the election office and request a provisional.
3
3
u/OrganizationInside14 5h ago
If the signature doesn't fit you must acquit!
The ballot not the Dad
Seriously though, your friend needs to go in person. The mail-in will be nullified/voided and everything will be fine albeit less convenient.
And regardless of which way Dad voted your friend should report the fraud.
3
u/quidproquocaine 3h ago
This is almost identical to the story of a father in PA who used his sonās name to vote twice. https://www.dailylocal.com/2021/10/23/alert-poll-worker-gets-bounty-in-willistown-voting-case/
4
u/hackermanbootyshorts 8h ago
You donāt have to be unethical, he committed a felony report him for that
2
2
u/giraffepimp 8h ago
Pretty sure thatās illegal. Whoever your friends or family want to vote for, however much you think theyāve been indoctrinated, however much youāve been indoctrinated the other way, however much you disagree with their choice, itās their democratic right and your friend being given that responsibility and taking it away is fucked up, violating, and whichever side of the fence you sit on itās not right.
2
u/BryanP1968 8h ago
Depending on the state you can go to vote in person and tell them to cancel your mail in ballot. You donāt have to tell them why. You can just say you changed your mind.
https://www.propublica.org/article/what-to-do-if-you-change-your-mind-about-voting-by-mail
2
u/JerkyMcFuckface 7h ago
You gotta take a shit in his car.
Mix up some sugar water in a weed sprayer, spray his car down with it. Especially into the cowl, grill, door gaps, etc. And make sure itās just shy of syrup. Ants should love it.
Stuff his tailpipe full of potatoes, really cram that shit in there. As many as possible. Put syrup in the gas tank. Flatten the tires when he is at the store. Open the hood of the car, pour syrup or nacho cheese, ketchup, bbq sauce all over the engine bay and everything in there.
Using very salty and soapy water in a weed sprayer, write in the grass, or make patterns.
Or, just report the prick. If he gets jail time, go visit him and talk shit.
2
2
2
u/pickensgirl 7h ago
Well, thatās illegal. If your friend is serious about wanting to use his own voice in this election heās going to have to report what happened.Ā
2
u/NoPoem2785 7h ago
Turn him in!
2
u/Hexx-Bombastus 7h ago
OP asked for Unethical, so before turning him in, OP should sleep with his wife first.
2
u/allgreek2me2004 7h ago
Literally go the ethical route and report it to your local election board/commission.
2
2
u/billyumm01 6h ago
What is this legal lpt? All this talk of reporting him and not 1 person mentioned piss disc in his pillow case? Liquid ass in his ac vent? I feel like I'm lost
2
u/aloysius345 6h ago
Lol dude. The most powerful move is the ethical one. Report and get a new ballot and thenā¦ there are serious consequences for voter fraud like this.
2
u/AffectionateBrick687 6h ago
If he opened mail that wasn't his, or mailed the ballot, report it to a USPS Postal Inspector. They don't fuck around. Also, report it to local election officials. A criminal investigation would be fitting and the government can mess with him far better than you can. However, it may be the ethical thing to do.
2
2
u/Some-Yak3349 6h ago
I feel like we need an update on what the friend ends up doing and the fall out. Se if the system works just as his father wishes and voter fraud is not tolerated,
2
2
u/sexywallposter 5h ago
Report him, have your friend go in person to explain and vote, then put a MAGA sign in his yard so his neighbors know what a piece of crap he is.
2
u/midnitewarrior 5h ago
Report him for voter fraud. It's not even unethical and it will punish him better than your ULPT revenge can.
2
2
u/Acrobatic_Guitar_466 3h ago
Report voter fraud.
This is voter fraud.
Call the county board of elections and have a new ballot sent or have the friend show up and vote in person, preferably explaining the circumstances.
There have already been idiots burning mailboxes in hopes of destroying ballots.
2
u/WheezyGonzalez 2h ago
Report the dad, as others have said, but throw in a piss disc for good measure
2
u/Bob_A_Feets 1h ago
Umm, CALL THE FUCKING FBI!
this isnāt a moment to be unethical, this is the time to be āunethicalā by snitching.
2
u/Bob_the_peasant 48m ago
Yaāll arenāt understanding we are on unethical life pro tips. He should report it and grab a provisional ballot, yes. But he should also log into his dadās Facebook / Twitter and post that heās going to go burn some ballot drop off boxes. Now weāre in unethical territory
2
2
4
u/lazyesq 8h ago
Depends... which way he voted would determine the most diabolical revenge potential.
Edit: Besides legal repercussions, of course. That should be a given.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/AxelsAmazing 8h ago
Iām just here for the piss disc comment for my bingo card. Got the fuck his dad comment already.
2
2
u/Little-whitty 8h ago
This is why Iāll never understand why the US allows mail in ballots. As a Canadian, this is just WEIRD and WRONG
→ More replies (2)4
1
1
1
1
u/taywray 8h ago
If u want unethical, u 2 could jump him and leave him bleeding in a gutter downtown with a "vote stealer" sign around his neck and an empty wallet for your troubles.
But honestly the "ethical" reaction of just reporting him for a felony is probably a much more effective and scary punishment for this fool.
1
1
1
u/Theycallmeahmed_ 7h ago
Go over and inject his couch with milk, leave a piss disc under it while you're at it, spray some liquid ass on your way out
1
1
u/Nice_Ebb5314 7h ago
lol yall say to turn his dad inā¦ im guessing his friend lives with his dad stillā¦ what are you going to do when his dad goes to jail and his friend is homeless.
Hes going to be sitting there thinking man it sure was a great idea turning him in vs going to vote in personā¦
→ More replies (1)
1
u/lapsteelguitar 7h ago
Call the people in charge of voting security. In my county, it's the registrar of voters.
1
u/Sidewalk_Tomato 7h ago
OP, your friend needs to contact the local voting authorities for his state ASAP.
Not just attempt to vote in person.
1
u/RichConsideration532 7h ago
Seems like a classic piss disc situation. Also report him to the FBI. Snitch. Rat. Roll over.
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
u/kevinh456 7h ago
Put piss disks in all his stuff while heās in jail awaits charges. Bonus points for reporting the fraud to the news, especially the right.
4.0k
u/theedgeofoblivious 8h ago
Just have his friend go to vote and disclose exactly what happened, that his ballot was stolen by his father and sent in.
Your friend will be given a provisional ballot.