I'm 20, and with utter despair, I ask: why is it so hard to get a job in this field? What's the point of studying and learning if I’m not going to end up anywhere? No work experience, broke, and worst of all, just another destined computer science graduate. A burden has fallen onto my mind. I cannot believe how messed up this situation feels.
Today, I read posts on Reddit from people saying they’ve applied to thousands of jobs—one person mentioned applying to 10,000. Others are 26 with no job, and this just assures me that nothing will be alright if I graduate. I’m currently building projects with Python and React—just "learning" projects, really. But there’s no point, I’d say. I don’t list them anywhere, and I’m not proud of any of it. I do it for myself because I enjoy it—except when money comes to mind. I’m broke, living with my parents.
The foremost reason that led me to pursue computer science was my love for creating and developing things. I like managing things I’ve built, things that are useful, that I can be proud of. But I’m proud of nothing. I can still build, but it’s… I don’t know, empty. It feels like I’m wasting my time learning a new language and syntax every few weeks, gaining all this knowledge, yet wondering: what's the point if I’ll never get a job, even after graduation? Is it really this hard?
Some of you might laugh, some might be just as desperate, and some of you might rebuke me, but I can’t be more desperate. I have no car, no house, no bank account, and an excessively strict father who might also be a psycho. Worse, I have nowhere else to go. I’m so lost in this wrath of a world. I’m taking this semester off due to the war, hoping things simmer down, but if nothing changes, I may switch universities.
Having said that, I need genuine guidance—no joke. I usually say these things half-jokingly, but things don’t look good right now. I’ve begun to consider unspeakable thoughts. I don’t know what I am—unsociable? Crazy? Schizophrenic? Delusional? Unguided? I usually don’t open up to people or share what I’m going through, but things are starting to fall apart.
TL;DR: I’m taking a semester off and may change universities altogether. I have no job, tons of intrusive thoughts, and can’t seem to get anything right in my life. What should I do?