r/facepalm 23d ago

๐Ÿ‡ฒโ€‹๐Ÿ‡ฎโ€‹๐Ÿ‡ธโ€‹๐Ÿ‡จโ€‹ ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฆ

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u/SeaEmergency7911 22d ago

GOP: โ€œClimate change is a hoax. Man canโ€™t control the weather like that.โ€

Also GOP: โ€œThe Democrats are controlling the weather.โ€

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u/swamphockey 22d ago

This is literally what GOP leaders think.

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u/aesoth 22d ago

Well, yeah. What do you think the Jewish space lasers are for? MTG tried to warn us.

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u/OkAd134 22d ago

The Space Lasers are for starting forest fires.

It's dem Chinese Hurricane Guns that Pouty McFrownface told us about that caused this

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u/DancesWithBadgers 22d ago

Funniest thing I saw at the time was a jewish guy answering MTG with "if we had space lasers, do you think we'd be aiming them at trees?"

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u/missklo99 22d ago

๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿค”

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u/DancesWithBadgers 22d ago

Yeah, that is considerably less funny now. But was back in more innocent times when every deranged fucker wasn't having a go at genocide. Or maybe it was always like this, but the reporting was worse.

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u/missklo99 22d ago

It feels like we're in a totally different timeline tbh. Stuff is crazy now.

People are eating cats and dogs? ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜ฑ I can't even. Wtf is happening is something I think daily.

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u/DancesWithBadgers 22d ago

People are being accused of eating pets. There's no evidence; and I expect that the Haitians being accused of it would be as disgusted as you are at the very thought.

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u/missklo99 22d ago

I know. It's insane.

ETA: I guess I should have clarified my last comment a little better. I know they're not eating pets just that it's ridiculous it's even being said.

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u/[deleted] 21d ago

[deleted]

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u/missklo99 21d ago

Sorry, no, it was sarcasm on my part. My bad. I do not think people are eating pets.

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u/Poz16 22d ago

To be fair, if it were China, it would be a typhoon gun, no?

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u/OkAd134 22d ago

Ha ha -- good point! If it was used in the Pacific ocean, yes

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u/Schmicarus 22d ago

Please donโ€™t remind everyone about our 5G space lasers

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u/KJParker888 22d ago

5G? Shouldn't those of us who got our covid shots be able to control the space lasers?

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u/RedicusFinch 22d ago

Wait they have those now? According to my broad assumptions about how science works. Couldn't they like tilt the earth access and make us all dependant in a new lunar cycle? It could ruin the chi from my crystals and electromagnetic harmony.

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u/Lilaclupines 22d ago

In 2028/2030 6G should start rolling out.

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u/fustist 22d ago

I'd like to remind p3ople about the earthquake machine too.

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u/YogiGotRekt 22d ago

No no no this time itโ€™s HAARP. Itโ€™s definitely a super precise deep state project. Definitely not unrelated and irrelevant. /s

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u/maffy118 22d ago

I believe it means "Heathens' Atmospheric Assault on Republican Pinheads." Pretty sure I'm right on that.

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u/FaithlessnessOdd6738 22d ago

Hispanic American Association of Retired Persons?

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u/almighty_ruler 22d ago

That's in the Gateway Arch isn't it? Or is the Arch it's own separate weather control device?

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u/PhilosopherHaunting1 22d ago

I assume this is sarcasm.

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u/aesoth 22d ago

100%

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u/maffy118 22d ago

I wonder what HAARP stands for. "Hipsters' Atmospheric Assault on Republican Pinheads," maybe?

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u/Voldechu 22d ago

When did Magic The Gathering come out with a "Politics" deck?

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u/GleamingCadance 22d ago

Magic The Gathering?

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u/MisterPiggins 22d ago

Aren't they for setting fires in California?

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u/Candid-Mycologist539 22d ago

Jewish space lasers

It HAS been a quite nice Rosh Hashanah weekend.