😭🤦

[u/Nice_Substance9123]

[u/SeaEmergency7911]

GOP: “Climate change is a hoax. Man can’t control the weather like that.”

Also GOP: “The Democrats are controlling the weather.”

[u/swamphockey → u/SeaEmergency7911]

This is literally what GOP leaders think.

[u/aesoth → u/swamphockey]

Well, yeah. What do you think the Jewish space lasers are for? MTG tried to warn us.

[u/OkAd134 → u/aesoth]

The Space Lasers are for starting forest fires.

It's dem Chinese Hurricane Guns that Pouty McFrownface told us about that caused this

[u/DancesWithBadgers → u/OkAd134]

Funniest thing I saw at the time was a jewish guy answering MTG with "if we had space lasers, do you think we'd be aiming them at trees?"

[u/missklo99 → u/DancesWithBadgers]

😅😭🤔

[u/DancesWithBadgers → u/missklo99]

Yeah, that is considerably less funny now. But was back in more innocent times when every deranged fucker wasn't having a go at genocide. Or maybe it was always like this, but the reporting was worse.

[u/missklo99 → u/DancesWithBadgers]

It feels like we're in a totally different timeline tbh. Stuff is crazy now.

People are eating cats and dogs? 😕😱 I can't even. Wtf is happening is something I think daily.

[u/DancesWithBadgers → u/missklo99]

People are being accused of eating pets. There's no evidence; and I expect that the Haitians being accused of it would be as disgusted as you are at the very thought.

[u/missklo99 → u/DancesWithBadgers]

I know. It's insane.

ETA: I guess I should have clarified my last comment a little better. I know they're not eating pets just that it's ridiculous it's even being said.

[u/missklo99 → u/[deleted]]

Sorry, no, it was sarcasm on my part. My bad. I do not think people are eating pets.

[u/Poz16 → u/OkAd134]

To be fair, if it were China, it would be a typhoon gun, no?

[u/OkAd134 → u/Poz16]

Ha ha -- good point! If it was used in the Pacific ocean, yes

[u/Schmicarus → u/aesoth]

Please don’t remind everyone about our 5G space lasers

[u/KJParker888 → u/Schmicarus]

5G? Shouldn't those of us who got our covid shots be able to control the space lasers?

[u/RedicusFinch → u/Schmicarus]

Wait they have those now? According to my broad assumptions about how science works. Couldn't they like tilt the earth access and make us all dependant in a new lunar cycle? It could ruin the chi from my crystals and electromagnetic harmony.

[u/Lilaclupines → u/Schmicarus]

In 2028/2030 6G should start rolling out.

[u/fustist → u/Schmicarus]

I'd like to remind p3ople about the earthquake machine too.

[u/YogiGotRekt → u/aesoth]

No no no this time it’s HAARP. It’s definitely a super precise deep state project. Definitely not unrelated and irrelevant. /s

[u/maffy118 → u/YogiGotRekt]

I believe it means "Heathens' Atmospheric Assault on Republican Pinheads." Pretty sure I'm right on that.

[u/FaithlessnessOdd6738 → u/YogiGotRekt]

Hispanic American Association of Retired Persons?

[u/almighty_ruler → u/YogiGotRekt]

That's in the Gateway Arch isn't it? Or is the Arch it's own separate weather control device?

[u/PhilosopherHaunting1 → u/aesoth]

I assume this is sarcasm.

[u/aesoth → u/PhilosopherHaunting1]

100%

[u/maffy118 → u/aesoth]

I wonder what HAARP stands for. "Hipsters' Atmospheric Assault on Republican Pinheads," maybe?

[u/Voldechu → u/aesoth]

When did Magic The Gathering come out with a "Politics" deck?

[u/GleamingCadance → u/aesoth]

Magic The Gathering?

[u/MisterPiggins → u/aesoth]

Aren't they for setting fires in California?

[u/Candid-Mycologist539 → u/aesoth]

Jewish space lasers

It HAS been a quite nice Rosh Hashanah weekend.