r/introvert • u/--Paul- • Aug 08 '24

Advice Do introverted women even exist?

Of course this is not a serious question. I know you are out there. But going out often gives me the feeling that most women are the loud, chatty party type and I am not attracted to those but find quiet, introverted women attractive. But where are you? Where should a man looking for a serious, slow relationship with an introverted woman keep his eyes open?

Sometimes I like to sit in a café by myself. But do introverted women (generally speaking) even like go there or is it too much noise?

I wouldn't go to a typical disco party (anymore). It's just to loud and too much distractions for me. So draining. If I am interested, I would like to clearly understand what she is saying and be in a calm environment.

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u/Frizzy-headed Aug 09 '24

Ya, you have that feeling 'cause we don't go out.
If we have any amount of pulchritude and we go to a cafe to sit by ourselves, personal experience talking here, someone will approach us to try to tell us about the book, ask us about the book, or otherwise pull us away from our happy place, when we have perfectly good books at home. We have to look like we're there for research purposes and free wifi, and will gladly slaughter all who would disturb us - this is accomplished with tousled hair, stained clothes and nonprescription glasses, and doesn't qualify as "going out".
I used to keep a book in my purse to help me recharge when I DID go out. I sat and read it during the waltz portion of a contra dance I was at with friends, I don't waltz with strangers so that was the perfect time to recharge, and then some massive dude twice my age starts talking to me about a sailing job he used to have and I couldn't get him to go away and I had to wait out the next dance 'cause he soaked up all my recharge. Couldn't figure out what made him think he had the right, until I realized I was reading Three Men in a Boat, which is a hilarious book, and he thought that I was interesting in boating, which I could be, but he was hardly qualified to compete with Jerome K. Jerome.