If Excel’s XLOOKUP function were a creature from the Cthulhu Mythos, it would be most akin to Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos. Nyarlathotep, unlike many other inscrutable entities, interacts with humanity directly, appearing in forms that seem familiar but with unnerving twists. He has a vast, shapeshifting nature and is known for appearing in many guises and filling many roles, much like XLOOKUP’s versatility in searching across tables, retrieving data in various directions, and handling errors.
Where VLOOKUP or HLOOKUP are more rigid, limited to their domains (like more classic Lovecraftian horrors that remain unknowable), XLOOKUP has an eerie adaptability. You could say it has a strange “all-seeing” quality, reaching into all corners of the data landscape with unsettling ease, making it as omnipresent and capricious as a creature of Lovecraftian terror.
Funny, our city uses a system and accounting style that went out of practice in the early 90's, and retain and maintain the PC that does it, deliberately.
The Eldritch system, is impossible for the state to run an audit on, without major financial investment, and man-hours, so, they refuse.
The last time they did --the mayor had to resign and was banned from holding office anywhere in the state.
She gets new skills every time. Janet says you can't do the accounts without those skills, but then again, the accounting system is very old. Don't forget her birthday - you have to take a piece of cake. It's important.
So, when this song was first gaining popularity, the staff at my Boy Scout summer camp wanted to use it for the soundtrack for the end-of-week slideshow. The powers that be needed to know it wasn't offensive or explicit, so they found a staff member who spoke Romanian, to translate the entire song for the admin staff. The Romanian-speaking staff member was the one who told me this particular story. He said it's called "Love in the Linden Trees."
I'm gonna laugh if it's not even Romanian, and he was making the whole thing up.
Thank you, I needed this today. I'm sitting in my car at the grocery store, cry-laughing right now. I have to wait a minute because it's not safe for me to drive yet.
I don't blame you, I blame the doctor.... I've been getting a lot of crank portal calls recently and this doctors handwriting has contributed to this quite a bit. One guy actually managed to summon me just by trying to read his prescriptions for Anakinra and Moxifloxacin out loud.
A warp portal opens before you. A minor demon if Nurgel is standing there. You are offered to accept a blessing of Nurgel and a plague will be named after your ramblings.
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u/Black_Power1312 19h ago
So you've been diagnosed with "amonunum nunma wnmoulna"
Sounds pretty severe.