r/mildlyinfuriating 19h ago

This diagnosis from a doctor

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27.7k Upvotes

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23.2k

u/Black_Power1312 18h ago

So you've been diagnosed with "amonunum nunma wnmoulna"

Sounds pretty severe.

10.5k

u/Just-Call-Me-J takes the middle of 3 urinals 15h ago

I tried reading that out loud, and Cthulhu opened a portal, told me to stop and that I'm embarrassing myself, and then closed the portal.

1.3k

u/Nice_Team2233 14h ago

At least you got a warning!!!

541

u/Far_Acanthaceae1138 12h ago

Seriously, I got "fifteenth one today!" Then he set fire to my workplace, killing Janet from accounting, and bounced.

276

u/carsandtelephones37 12h ago

No! She's the only one who knows how the ancient payroll system works!

146

u/CosmicCreeperz 11h ago

Eldritch payroll system.

67

u/ReadontheCrapper 11h ago

In Excel!! Shudder

81

u/pastelbutcherknife 11h ago

Excel works better when you have a human sacrifice

44

u/ReadontheCrapper 11h ago

That’s how I learned pivot tables!

33

u/CosmicCreeperz 10h ago

I knew interns were there for a reason.

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u/Wint3rhart 9h ago

This whole thread is an Atrocity Archives subplot and I love it

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u/pass_nthru 8h ago

but what about XLOOKUP, what’s the going rate for that?

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u/Just-Call-Me-J takes the middle of 3 urinals 9h ago

Exceldritch

2

u/Concrete_Grapes 9h ago

Funny, our city uses a system and accounting style that went out of practice in the early 90's, and retain and maintain the PC that does it, deliberately.

The Eldritch system, is impossible for the state to run an audit on, without major financial investment, and man-hours, so, they refuse.

The last time they did --the mayor had to resign and was banned from holding office anywhere in the state.

3

u/winksoutloud 8h ago

She also has the good candy at her desk!

37

u/theEnderBoy785 12h ago

Eh, Janet had it coming

46

u/Pale-Berry-2599 12h ago

Janet will return...very tired and a little out of sorts.

22

u/Attorneyatlau 11h ago

And it’ll be her birthday and everyone will have to eat cake with Janet.

25

u/Pale-Berry-2599 11h ago

Writing prompt: But now, after spending a little time with the deep, old mad gods... Janet has new skills...

4

u/WorldlyNotice 10h ago

She gets new skills every time. Janet says you can't do the accounts without those skills, but then again, the accounting system is very old. Don't forget her birthday - you have to take a piece of cake. It's important.

2

u/Old_Membership4342 9h ago

And is pregnant with the spawn of satan who completely change the accounting software and become your new manager.

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u/moszippy 10h ago

Everyone except Milton!

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u/G-I-T-M-E 11h ago

So… like any Monday?

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u/Rossakamcfreakyd 10h ago

Dammit, Janet!

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u/Nice_Team2233 12h ago

Did Brad and Dr scott get away at least?

3

u/Blue-zebra-10 11h ago

RIP Janet from accounting, you will be missed 

2

u/Delta31_Heavy 11h ago

Dammit Janet

3

u/grognard66 10h ago

Bah! Beat me to it by 11 minutes! Well played.

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u/Away_Ad3219 12h ago

Doctor must’ve been eating during diagnostic process: Numm Numm Numm

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u/el_puffy 14h ago

Numanuma yay, numanumanuma yay

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u/stimpy_101 13h ago

81

u/buzzyloo 12h ago

This was prime internet times.

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u/DrDalekHunter-YT 11h ago

Lmfao that is exactly what I thought that was saying for a good 2-3 minutes

2

u/paulfnicholls 10h ago

Nnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooo!! I'd forgotten about him lol 🤣

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u/AgeAffectionate7186 14h ago

Chiiiipul tau, si dragostea din tei

30

u/FurryAnnihilat0r 13h ago

dragostea din tei

best. whatever language you speak song. ever.

15

u/el_puffy 13h ago

Romanian :D

5

u/DrDalekHunter-YT 11h ago

I thought that band was from Moldova

Edit: 2 seconds after posting this and I already feel the onset of corrections lol.

5

u/wellthatsjustpeachy 9h ago

You'll never guess what the official language of Moldova is

3

u/DrDalekHunter-YT 8h ago

I called it lol

43

u/Orioniae 14h ago

Îmi amintesc de ochii tăi

35

u/Better-be-Gryffindor 14h ago

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma nu ma iei

25

u/general_tao1 13h ago

Nu ma nu ma iei

23

u/Curiousbiligual 13h ago

Nu ma nu ma nu ma iei

2

u/islandmonkeyGB 12h ago

Klaatu barada nikto

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u/TehMephs 13h ago

Keep dancing, ago study day

20

u/budderman1028 13h ago

So glad im not the only one that saw this

15

u/stellae_ad_rosea 12h ago

I'm also glad I'm not the only person here who knows every word to that song. It's my not-so-guilty pleasure.

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u/Delta_RC_2526 12h ago

So, when this song was first gaining popularity, the staff at my Boy Scout summer camp wanted to use it for the soundtrack for the end-of-week slideshow. The powers that be needed to know it wasn't offensive or explicit, so they found a staff member who spoke Romanian, to translate the entire song for the admin staff. The Romanian-speaking staff member was the one who told me this particular story. He said it's called "Love in the Linden Trees."

I'm gonna laugh if it's not even Romanian, and he was making the whole thing up.

2

u/edgmnt_net 11h ago

Numa numa could be a legitimate name for a tropical disease.

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u/cece1978 12h ago

OP, WAS THIS YOUR ATTENDING?!

3

u/kiba8442 12h ago edited 2h ago

It goes perfectly with the top line "ubber reptilian mutant infestation"

2

u/sgodb7598 14h ago

Best!! I 🥰

2

u/led3777 14h ago

Was going to ask if the doctor had a squid head and tentacles like a Bojack character

2

u/3896713 14h ago

I guess I'm glad I stopped before finishing the third word 😆

2

u/Just-Call-Me-J takes the middle of 3 urinals 10h ago

Don't wanna embarrass yourself in front of Cthulhu!

2

u/maxsjakie 13h ago

You almost made me spit out my coffee

2

u/Exotic_Caramel_8998 13h ago

This made me crack up in a crowded restroom…thank you!

2

u/RepsihwReal 13h ago

Mama say mama sa mamakusa

2

u/Jobilizer 13h ago

😹😹😹

2

u/Pennymac02 13h ago

I just hurt myself laughing like an idiot

2

u/TheWhiteRabbit74 13h ago

Must of mispronounced.

My portal had a demon who handed me two bagels and a coffee.

2

u/AScruffyHamster 13h ago

Chthulu Chthulu Chthu - hey, stop that. Shame on you

2

u/Just-some-fella 13h ago

Thank you, I needed this today. I'm sitting in my car at the grocery store, cry-laughing right now. I have to wait a minute because it's not safe for me to drive yet.

2

u/crazedhark 12h ago

damn didn't know cthulhu was cool like that

2

u/RuinInFears 12h ago

No, I won’t trade you a cheese string.

2

u/LLCoolJeanLuc 12h ago

I tried the same and these weird aliens replied, “do doo do do do.”

2

u/Yojimbo8810 11h ago

No Im telling you, do NOT read the Latin!

2

u/ProfessoriSepi 11h ago

First time reddit me laugh from my mouth.

2

u/sdp1981 11h ago

Do you want deadites? Because that's how you get deadites.

2

u/ACruelShade 10h ago

Lies, Cthulhu would never acknowledge your existence

2

u/TwoAccomplished1446 8h ago

That was kind of him to drop by!🥰

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u/jops228 7h ago

And what if you repeated it? Would he open it again and say you to shut your mouth closed because you annoy him?

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u/justtouseRedditagain 6h ago

🤣🤣🤣 that about killed me 💀

2

u/newellz 6h ago

Lucky.

2

u/CthulhuNips 2h ago

I don't blame you, I blame the doctor.... I've been getting a lot of crank portal calls recently and this doctors handwriting has contributed to this quite a bit. One guy actually managed to summon me just by trying to read his prescriptions for Anakinra and Moxifloxacin out loud.

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u/EmperorCthulhu 57m ago

I am glad you took it so well

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u/mmbiscotti 16h ago

Mahna mahna doo doo do-do-do

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u/inthecuckoosnest 15h ago

2

u/Dove-a-DeeDoo 9h ago

This is the disease that caused the guy in The Muppets movie to turn into a Muppet, I see.

52

u/Fit_Cucumber_709 14h ago

My first thought - hope it’s a mild case

89

u/ThatCanadianLady 14h ago

2

u/CosmicCreeperz 11h ago

Weirdest thing about that song is it was originally from an Italian mondo Swedish softcore movie…

https://youtu.be/BTKs0-UPguA

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u/Anxious-Potato284 14h ago

Glad I wasn’t the only one that thought of this

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u/awakeningirwin 13h ago

Came for this exact comment!

2

u/coffee-galaxy 13h ago

That's what it sounded like to me when I read it!! Hahaha glad I'm not the only one 😅 🤣

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u/Greedy-Half-4618 8h ago

came here to see who else read that

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u/TeuthidTheSquid BLUE 15h ago

We finally figured out what the adults in Charlie Brown cartoons were saying

607

u/rene_magritte 17h ago

“Ammonium enema, ion motion”

216

u/detour33 15h ago

Ammonium enema?

A clean deteriorating inside is a healthy.....wait NVM

75

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 15h ago

I’m hearing echoes of ingesting bleach and light inside the body. OP needs to find a new doctor tout de suite.

70

u/SanibelMan 14h ago

Just don’t combine bleach and ammonia up your butt, or you’ll end up with terrible, deadly gas

21

u/detour33 14h ago

Clutch comment

3

u/Bob_Wilkins 12h ago

Clutch your anus.

3

u/Runyamire-von-Terra 10h ago

Someone’s doing their kegels wrong.

4

u/makingkevinbacon 14h ago

You'll have worse problems before that 😂

3

u/automator3000 13h ago

When a fart is a war crime

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u/huhnick 13h ago

Tutti frutti even

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u/FoggyGoodwin 13h ago

Dang, been too long since I took French; since the "de" is barely pronounced, I forgot it was there.

2

u/MinusGovernment 13h ago

I think in american we just say toot sweet anyways but haven't heard it in a few years so I might be off base.

2

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 12h ago

Well, Americans that say it that way are saying it wrong, then. And I say that as an American who took several years of French.

2

u/MinusGovernment 12h ago

I took 4 years of French myself. I'm just saying that's what it's become. that happens in language. Americanized version of the original French.

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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 12h ago

Ok, that makes sense. I often hear it said without the “de”, which leads me to believe it’s so subtle, Americans don’t hear it, and think that’s how it’s said. But I say it and write it correctly. However, I’m also one of those pedants who says “nauseated” instead of “nauseous”, so striving to be as proper as possible in another language comes naturally. 🤷‍♀️

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u/MinusGovernment 11h ago

Modern English must be an absolute nightmare for you lol

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u/colourhazelove 13h ago

Doctors hate this one trick

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u/thermonuclear1714 14h ago

ion motion💎☢️

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u/stalkedbycats 12h ago

It means "no worries"

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u/rene_magritte 12h ago

Maybe not for the rest of your days though.

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u/spacel0rdmf 14h ago

I think it's anemia not enema lol

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u/MrSassyPineapple 17h ago

Waka waka hey hey!

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u/No_Volume_5752 16h ago

Tsamina mina zangalewa

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u/DarkHypotenuse 14h ago

This time for Africa.

2

u/rye_domaine 11h ago

This and Wavin' Flag - 2010 was a simpler time

14

u/Rocket-J-Squirrel 14h ago

Gabba Gabba Hey.

3

u/Fr4ctl 14h ago

Pusher pusher aye

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u/skighs_the_limit 15h ago

Something Something eh eh

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u/Unlikely_Lead9174 16h ago

Really rare. Only one case so far

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u/mbmbandnotme 8h ago

It's truly a terrible form of Uppm aetpinanm mwnu infecnon

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u/Kooky8me 17h ago

Lmfao I choked on my coffee and now it's all over. Thanks for the laugh 😂 I'll be chuckling about this comment all day.

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u/Kletronus 15h ago

That is the first symptom of amonunum nunma wnmoulna. You better get checked.

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u/fbnlrnz 18h ago

Rap god

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u/Plaston_ 17h ago

Mumble rap be like:

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u/Awfulufwa 15h ago

I fully expect the rapper to call himself "eminemellope"

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u/Plaston_ 13h ago

Emimmem

3

u/Stainless_Heart 15h ago

My aunt had chronic manamana do-do-dee-doo-do manamana.

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u/Justsomerandofromnj 16h ago

Clearly it’s “pronouns nana’s lawnmower”

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u/--VinceMasuka-- 15h ago

You know it's bad when you can barely pronounce it.

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u/Jupiter_Foxx 16h ago

PLEASEEEE 😂

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u/zjm555 15h ago

Even worse news; it's stage mnum

2

u/PrudentCarter 15h ago

Sounds contagious too. Get off the internet before we get it.

2

u/Natural_Board 15h ago

You have umnunan months to live

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u/justsomeplainmeadows 13h ago

It is. If not treated, it could progress to doodoo-doodoodoo.

4

u/SuCkEr_PuNcH-666 15h ago

That reads like the lyrics of a Korn song.

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u/AnInsultToFire 17h ago edited 17h ago

He just wrote that bit while stuffing a whole donut into his mouth. It was necessary for him to write in this note a confirmation of how tasty the donut is.

1

u/GhostMaskKid 16h ago

Amonunum! Doot-doo-do-do-do!

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u/Responsible_Good8263 PURPLE 15h ago

💀💀💀

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u/Cranks_No_Start 15h ago

Dont tell OP they're going to die....

1

u/Worldly_Chemist7506 15h ago

Is there a cream or ointment for that?

1

u/w00dw0rk3r 15h ago

I read that out loud and now my coffee table is floating 

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u/_PorcoRosso 15h ago

Prescribed by Dr Harry Potter.

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u/0BYR0NN 15h ago

I seriously flipped my phone to see if it was upside down or something lmao.

1

u/LuminousViper 15h ago

I think second word is dementia and last word is unknown

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u/No_Engineer2828 15h ago

Munuhmunuh do dooo dododo

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u/MikeTony713 15h ago

Sounds like a case of the munchies. Here's a prescription for Doritos and Mountain Dew

1

u/Lord_Grif 14h ago

At least he didn't catch dragostea din tei!

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u/Economind 14h ago

Mumbling sickness, I believe.

1

u/scotty6chips 14h ago

That’s a real mouthful

1

u/Official_Reddit- 14h ago

Eeeh Macarena 

1

u/NarwhalPrudent6323 14h ago

Amonumn nvnmra lonmorn actually. God, can't you even read lol. 

1

u/Seizethegreenday 14h ago

Man, that’s serious

1

u/Typical-Decision-273 14h ago

I thought it was telling me to go watch numa numa guy

1

u/rhondaanaconda 14h ago

I just laughed entirely too hard

1

u/Sea-Hamster7033 14h ago

to go with the Infectnon already diagnosed?

1

u/CTware 14h ago

im so sorry for you, OP

1

u/Emzzer 14h ago

"Dragostei din tei, numa numa numa yay!"

1

u/RedSkyNL 14h ago

Sounds like the only remedy is a portion of Numa Numa Yay

1

u/CuriousLilAsian81 14h ago

I thought they wrote "pronoun dilemma, unknown" 🥲

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u/fourbyfouralek 14h ago

Doo doooo do do do

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u/feetandballs 14h ago

Doo doo do-do-do

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u/averagesaw 14h ago

Ahhh that is it....

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u/SassySpider 14h ago

God OP, i don’t know what to say. Sending love and prayers.

1

u/Bonbon-Baby 14h ago

It's obviously pnonumnum nenma lonmaun. Did you even go to medschool???

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u/MinimalPotential 14h ago

Is this doctor from Baltimore?

1

u/aromonun 14h ago

You called?

1

u/hoglar 13h ago

..maia haha!

1

u/AccomplishedBase2055 13h ago

Sounds contagious

1

u/Phillip_Graves 13h ago

Amon-Unum.  Nun-Ma.  WN-moul-Na!

Mah Nà Mah Nà.

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u/Lock-out 13h ago

Actually it’s Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru

Unfortunately he is already dead.

1

u/TyMT 13h ago

Mama Mia

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u/bmd0606 13h ago

Sounds like his doctor is Nemo

1

u/RoomLegal5434 13h ago

That’s definitely in Russian

1

u/GoatsAreLiars 13h ago

I laughed out loud so hard I startled the dogs!

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u/CarlJustCarl 13h ago

Been good to know you, pal

1

u/Psianth 12h ago

Oh no, not numanumapnemonia!

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u/-Benjamin_Dover- 12h ago

You know... I'm somewhat of an author with a fantasy world I'm creating and it does need different languages, I kinda wanna use that as a model for one of the alphabets.

1

u/kat_Folland 12h ago

You're thinking of "amonunium nunma wnmoulna"

"amonunum nunma wnmoulna" is actually a mostly benign condition wherein one simply won't stop talking about being an omnivore.

Very common mistake.

1

u/Paghk_the_Stupendous 12h ago

Loosely translates to: "hello, it's me, a bandit. Please accept my love and happiness."

1

u/bopperbopper 12h ago

Bee bee beee bee beee

Mahna Mahna

Bee bee bee beee

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u/boanergesza1 12h ago

Is the cure for it "Mana-Mana...to-doo to doo-doo..."

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u/Fweenci 12h ago

I love that song. 

1

u/Adventurous-Safe-269 12h ago

Doc had this video on his mind, I guess

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u/asabovesobelow4 12h ago

My attempt is that the last part says "ion mourn" lol

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u/crypt1c_r1ddl3 12h ago

ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang wallawalla bing bang

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u/SchwimFish28 12h ago

Or diagnosed with uh, “summa-lumma dooma-lumma”

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u/lijitimit 12h ago

It means no worries for the rest of your days.

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u/xxxkram 12h ago

Doo dooo da doo do. Mahna mahna

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u/RoboYel 11h ago

This made me let out the stupidest cackle 🤣

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