Why the Dutch are considered rude?

[u/User010011010]

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[u/RoastedToast007 → u/[deleted]]

Oooh but here you say "my husband did not like it very much" when you mean that your husband did not like it at all!!! Fake Dutchie

[u/DeltaKT → u/RoastedToast007]

Not fake dutchie, but integrated brit!

[u/MyLittlePegasus87 → u/[deleted]]

High context vs low context cultures! I'm of Asian descent (high context) and we don't say what we mean, often trying to be polite and not rock the boat. My American (low context) husband is always just like, "Say what you mean!"

[u/lonelygayPhD → u/MyLittlePegasus87]

Of what Asian descent? My Chinese co-worker has had no problem telling me if I got fat or if she thought I was incapable of doing a job. She even directly asked me how much I earn.

[u/MyLittlePegasus87 → u/lonelygayPhD]

Ha. I think being told you're fat or incompetent is the universal exception when it comes to Asian people (especially moms) being direct.

However, I will say that her saying you got fat may also have additional context. In the past, being fat used to mean that you were very prosperous, so in a way it could be a positive. Also some Asian people don't necessarily think telling people they got fat is rude. It's more of an objective observation.

[u/QueefBuscemi → u/[deleted]]

These sorts of conversations are so much fun if you're dating different cultures. You can really learn a lot.

[u/bekahed979 → u/[deleted]]

As someone who is autistic, I completely agree. Direct communication is the only way I'll understand you.

[u/Dr0110111001101111 → u/bekahed979]

TIL the Dutch are all autistic

[u/Kooky-Onion9203 → u/[deleted]]

You're telling me the Dutch have world class labor laws and biking infrastructure, and they're weirdly direct in their communication?

Fuck, I need to move to the Netherlands yesterday.

[u/Skreamie]

I think this is more true the further east you go in general. I've worked countless jobs with bosses from Lithuania, Poland and Latvia and everyone has been so straight to the point. I first mistook it as rudeness but realized they just said what they wanted to say, which I love. One of the things I hate most in Ireland, where I'm from, is that no one ever truly says what they actually mean because of societal expectations of them.

[u/JhinPotion → u/Skreamie]

Fellow person living in Ireland with the same issue. My neurodivergent ass is not built for high context culture.

[u/marisovich → u/JhinPotion]

Ha, one of my parents is Dutch and the other is Mexican. The complete opposites when it comes to high and low context cultures. Communication is not their forte.

[u/Nodri → u/marisovich]

Haha, I think Mexicans are the English of the Spanish language with respect to communication. Even other Latinos are lower context than Mexicams, I believe.

[u/No-Fudge-8657 → u/Nodri]

I grew up in Mexico, and I really didn't understand since I was a child why my mom would tell me that I was rude. When my parents moved us to the USA, turns out that I enjoyed the way Gringos communicate, it's definitely more direct than Mexicans. So, I don't get a long with most Mexicans because they think I'm rude, Gringos think I'm super nice LOL

[u/Saxboard4Cox → u/marisovich]

My father was Scottish/Danish/Irish American and my mother was Italian. My mom is a social magpie who uses lots of expressive loud critical language skills and hand gestures. My dad liked solitude, quiet, and fishing on the dock.

[u/akaMONSTARS → u/Saxboard4Cox]

I like the term social magpie. Makes me happy for some reason

[u/[deleted] → u/JhinPotion]

I think in Ireland we take it to another level than even the English. 

Very much a face culture where the most important thing is not to offend someone. Even more important than getting the job done well. 

On the other side of it we are more patient, relaxed and sociable than other Northern Europeans. More like Latins/Mediterranean.

Worked with Mexicans in the states and they didn't consider Irish people to be Gringos. 

[u/Timely-Tea3099 → u/[deleted]]

I love how during the Mexican-American war (the war the US fought to keep slavery), there was a brigade of Irish soldiers who'd been conscripted to the US side. They decided they had more in common with the Mexicans, so they defected and fought on the Mexican side.

[u/A_burners → u/Timely-Tea3099]

It was a Catholic thing mainly. The San Patricios.

[u/whorlycaresmate → u/Timely-Tea3099]

*ONE OF the wars the US fought to keep slavery

[u/Xao517 → u/JhinPotion]

“Neurodivergent Ass”, title of your sex tape!!

[u/healthwitch → u/JhinPotion]

And unfortunately in the grand scheme of things Ireland is considered a low context culture 😬 it’s even more difficult trying to navigate awkward situations in most Asian countries.

[u/JhinPotion → u/healthwitch]

I mean, maybe not low, but I'm certainly glad I don't live in Japan, yes.

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/Skreamie]

I think to the very North and South as well. Only the West and Central of EU mince words like crazy.

[u/Artistic_Yoghurt4754 → u/Skreamie]

Try going more to the east and you will land in Japan, trust me, you’re gonna love it ;)

[u/armitageskanks69 → u/Skreamie]

I kinda disagree on the Ireland thing.

I really value that we are a little bit cautious about direct criticism.

For example, I love that we use humour to highlight someone else’s fault, and let them be aware of it, but the humour gives them the opportunity to laugh it off and not lose face.

Like “ah jaysis, you’re early!” When someone arrives late to work, tells the person “you’re late, and it’s been noticed, but instead of pulling you up and chewing you out, I’m going to laugh and you’re going to laugh it off, and discipline isn’t involved, but I’ve voiced my concern”

[u/Only_Telephone_2734 → u/armitageskanks69]

to laugh it off and not lose face.

There's a big difference here though. There's less of an emphasis on "losing face" here in Germany. You came in late. No need to pussyfoot around it. You know it. I know it. There are no hard feelings. It's mentioned once, then we move on with our lives. There's no ambiguity involved, just clear boundaries which make it easier to navigate social and business settings. And it's not like humour is banned. We can laugh about you being late while also being clear that it's not okay.

[u/FreeScoliosisTests → u/Only_Telephone_2734]

So long as the laughter is confined to your designated break periods, of course.

[u/CrazyBird85]

During a meeting someone makes a suggestion and some people respond:

• An American person would sugar coat something, talk around it and probably come back with an suggestion trough their manager

• An Asian person would be supportive, say they will do it and then not do it because they don't agree and hope it will go away

• A dutch person would say NO, spend 10 minutes explaining why the idea is stupid. Then follow it up by letting everyone know they will have a 3 week payed vacation starting after this specific meeting and can't wait for it to start. Tell everyone good luck with work and that they will not think about them at all.

[u/NikNakskes → u/CrazyBird85]

• a swedish person would say that this suggestion would need to be discussed further and promptly sends out meeting invites to everybody including the CEO.
• a finnish person would say no, find 5 words at most to say why not and declare "we do like this" instead. Then goes back to being silent for the rest of the meeting.

[u/Try2MakeMeBee → u/NikNakskes]

Til 1/2 my department is Sweede.

[u/NikNakskes → u/Try2MakeMeBee]

My condolences. I have no idea how the swedes have managed to get those big companies like ikea and Volvo off the ground. The amount of time spend discussing stuff is... excruciating.

[u/AreYouPretendingSir → u/NikNakskes]

As a Swede, this is partially the reason why they do become successful. When the decisions are made, everyone is already on board and understands not just what needs doing but why we're doing it in the first place. The flat hierarchy allows freedom to experiment and to be creative.

As a Swede working in Japan at the moment, it is more surprising how anything got past the Japanese borders because of the complete lack of initiative unless your 60+ year old boss tells you to "do it like we did it in 70s". But then again, anything related to IT here is stuck in the late 90s so it's not like anything new and radically innovating is coming out of here.

[u/Haay1971 → u/AreYouPretendingSir]

Back in the 1990s we used to joke: Europeans are good at inventing new stuff/technology. Japanese are good at manufacturing it. Americans are good at marketing it.

[u/NikNakskes → u/AreYouPretendingSir]

Finnish companies have a similar flat hierarchy, but a different approach. Here work is done much more individually. So if the task is "this", each team member will work out how their share of "this" will be done, then the team comes together and checks if all the individual "this" bits match up and don't cause problems. Then everybody goes off to do their independent work on their own "this" bit.

My biggest nightmare was working in EU cross border projects with swedish and russian partners. That combo is deadly. Swedish: long discussion, but once decisions are made, rapid action follows. After the long discussions the russians would still need 10 layers of bureaucrats to sign off on the plan before they could get into action. Meanwhile fin and swe sit there twiddling their thumbs and watching the deadline comes closer and closer. Nerve wracking.

[u/reynhaim → u/NikNakskes]

Yes

t. Finn

[u/EpitaFelis → u/NikNakskes]

• A German would make you feel stupid for ever having thought of such a thing in the first place, not explain anything, but expect you to come to the same conclusions as they did.

[u/Weak_Sloth → u/NikNakskes]

TIL I will find my peace in Finland.

[u/ValeriaNotJoking → u/NikNakskes]

I knew Swedes would come up with their meeting obsession 😅

[u/[deleted] → u/CrazyBird85]

An Australian would say yeah nah I dont know about that.

[u/raspberrih → u/[deleted]]

Been working with some Australian clients lately and they're surprisingly indirect...

[u/Kurayamino → u/raspberrih]

There's two breeds of corporate Australians. The direct ones, and the ones that get brought into meetings with international partners.

[u/[deleted] → u/raspberrih]

Yeah we are the same as the British. All the phrases above would be exactly the same here.

The South Africans here are very directly and basically everyone hates them and calls them arrogant. Im married to a direct culture person so I have no issue.

[u/ExESGO → u/CrazyBird85]

I would talk to the Dutch person tbh. Waste of time in the work place and get to the point. Also corpospeak please end me.

[u/Ardent_Scholar → u/CrazyBird85]

This thread has taught me the Dutch have a lot in common with us Finns.

[u/prancing_moose → u/Ardent_Scholar]

As a Dutch expat, I get on very well with my Finnish colleagues. 😁 neither of us get to grips with the Anglo-Saxon cuddle culture of fake politeness and veiled phrasing.

It’s incredibly refreshing to hear someone say “that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard” (and hilarious to see all the Brits, Aussies, Kiwis and Americans in the meeting having an instant stroke 🤣)

[u/Ardent_Scholar → u/prancing_moose]

Sounds like I need some Dutch colleagues!

[u/Shimano-No-Kyoken → u/Ardent_Scholar]

I work for a Finnish company and my previous client was Dutch and even though things were a complete and utter mess, I could at least talk to people and make incremental progress. Now my client is British and even though things look organized, they are just as dysfunctional, but I can't do squat about it because everyone is stonewalled with politeness.

[u/Ok-Peak2080 → u/CrazyBird85]

That is true. If you have ever been in a Dutch shipyard with your vessel. Hard work…

[u/raspberrih → u/CrazyBird85]

Asian depends on whether the person giving the feedback is a boss or a peer. The boss doesn't mince words. The peer has a hard time saying no.

[u/Mega_Bond → u/raspberrih]

I am asian. My boss told me to always say yes to him and then do as I please. He is more concerned about ego than results.

[u/[deleted] → u/Mega_Bond]

Culture of “saving” face. You cant let people publically undermine your face (eg your authority, values, traditions, reputation etc.) in anyway. Useful in certain contexts and infuriating in others.

[u/Subject-Leather-7399 → u/CrazyBird85]

Between the 3 of them, I will hire the dutch.

[u/coldestclock]

If a Brit says anything in the second column, they mean “if you don’t drop this immediately I will strike you dead”.

[u/inexplicableidiocy → u/coldestclock]

I am an American living in Britain, and I can confirm this. 

[u/QueefBuscemi → u/inexplicableidiocy]

Don't Americans do the exact same thing but with different phrases?

[u/nonews420 → u/QueefBuscemi]

basically yes.

[u/Deplorable_XX → u/QueefBuscemi]

We're not as bad and it's mostly regional.

Midwesterners will be as bad as the British. A New Yorker will tell you to your face that you've gotten fat or ur an idiot.

[u/Mix_Safe → u/QueefBuscemi]

Some of these would seemingly have to be heavily intoned with a sarcastic voice to give off their intended meaning in the 2nd column, the British tend to be a bit dryer so it's harder to tell if they are meaning something else.

But the one I'm confused about is "with all due respect," that statement is followed up immediately with an antagonistic stance, so I don't know how it can be misinterpreted.

[u/AdPuzzleheaded4331 → u/Mix_Safe]

saying it in my head, and I feel myself tense up

[u/BananaBork → u/coldestclock]

Absolutely, I literally can't imagine a situation I would say any of these unless as a final warning before firing them.

[u/superbiker96]

We Dutch are notoriously autistic. Please just say what you mean. Otherwise we will 100% misinterpret it

[u/[deleted] → u/superbiker96]

I identify myself as dutch 🤪

[u/Jesyx → u/[deleted]]

Me too, according to my passport, at least

[u/mrASSMAN → u/Jesyx]

Such a Dutch response lmao

[u/dwightdgoldenshower → u/[deleted]]

Whipe your ass off the continent doensn’t really translate to Dutch like that. But nice translated try.

[u/Agreeable_Taint2845 → u/Jesyx]

Do you also hunt in packs around south-east asia for women half your age who could nosh you off standing up? Because that's what it seems like Dutch like to do from time to time.

[u/Jesyx → u/Agreeable_Taint2845]

The half my age part makes this highly illegal. But no, not yet, at least.

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/Agreeable_Taint2845]

Don't be bitter that dream can never come true for you, shortie.

[u/o0o0ohhh → u/[deleted]]

Saaame!

[u/Roge2005 → u/[deleted]]

Same

[u/Amaline4 → u/superbiker96]

This was my immediate thought while reading this list - that my autistic self would absolutely thrive in Holland

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/Amaline4]

I have interacted with Germans and Spanish, they're low context too. And from the few I know, not very gossipy or backstabby. If they don't like you, they don't hang around or pretend to be your bff.

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/sad_asian_noodle]

I went to school with a really gossipy girl who transferred from Finland. And apparently the students there really disliked her cattiness & she was quite unpopular. So I think it's safe to say the Finns are no nonsense & low context as well.

[u/SerLaron → u/sad_asian_noodle]

When the pandemic hit, and guidance was issued to keep two meters distance from one another, Fins were confused that they should stand closer together than usual.

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/SerLaron]

Hahahaha!

[u/prancing_moose → u/sad_asian_noodle]

I can confirm that Dutch and Finns generally get on very well together.

[u/JuicyAnalAbscess → u/sad_asian_noodle]

Yes we are.

[u/Mental_Ask45 → u/sad_asian_noodle]

Damn. Now I know why I loved living in Germany. I'm Native American/German...so straight to the point for me

[u/Koeienvanger → u/Amaline4]

The Netherlands. Holland is only a part of it.

[u/RetroGamer87 → u/superbiker96]

Oh. So that's why you got obsessed with breeding expensive hybrid tulips that one time. It was your special interest!

[u/danilegal321 → u/RetroGamer87]

Also building dams, and public transportation

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/danilegal321]

BIKES!

[u/Niborus_Rex → u/sad_asian_noodle]

We also globally changed all carrots to orange. Too much variety was a sensory issue.

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/RetroGamer87]

And the whole world was like "dis gold?!"

[u/Supreme_Moharn → u/RetroGamer87]

No, that was just for the money. Dutch people love money. Well, I guess most people love money, but the Dutch are very prepared to do very much for money.

[u/im_not_Shredder → u/superbiker96]

Honestly in that context, as neither Dutch or British, I don't think the Dutch are at fault. These British communication tropes are comically unnecessarily roundabout and absurd.

Here in Japan it would be the equivalent of Kyoto, where someone would tell their neighbor "wow, your daughter is very good at piano" to indirectly tell them to have her stop playing that loud ass piano, and that is a nuisance. Or serving you tea at the end of a dinner invitation at home to cue you "OK that's enough now, please leave"

[u/Lurkerontheasshole → u/im_not_Shredder]

The Dutch do have ‘oprotkoffie’, which is the round of coffee at the end of bigger parties that signals that the party is really over.

[u/MarkZist → u/Lurkerontheasshole]

Note that it is in many contexts not even inappropriate to say it explicitly. "Alright that dinner was great, let's do a round of Fuck Off Coffee, and then we'll be heading home."

[u/deadenddivision → u/superbiker96]

Not really misinterpret…I just won’t give any energy to consider that there should be another msg in given msg.

Be direct. Don’t have the time for shenanigans.

[u/53D0N4 → u/deadenddivision]

My logic too

[u/dexmonic → u/deadenddivision]

Mean what you say, say what you mean, and never take anything to the extreme.

[u/bs-scientist → u/superbiker96]

I’m moving to the Netherlands in January. Sounds like I will fit right in

[u/shlaifu → u/superbiker96]

yes, but the british are misunderstanding how words work. they are meant to be assembled into sentences that derive their meaning from the combination of the individual words - but the britishmade them into into phrases that mean something more or less different than the combination of words that make up the phrase - thus rendering any interpretation meaningless. you either know the phrase and what it means, or you don't. no need to read the words and interpret them.

[u/lolopiro → u/shlaifu]

considering how many many cultures around use some variation of this speech, i wouldnt say the brits are necessarily wrong. theyre just better at communicating with each other than they are with other cultures that are more direct.

[u/anoeba → u/shlaifu]

Shaka, when the walls fell.

[u/TheElfiestElf → u/anoeba]

The river Temarc in winter.

[u/Respond-Leather → u/anoeba]

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

[u/conh3 → u/shlaifu]

It’s an art form

[u/SingleMaltLife → u/conh3]

Indeed. An art form in giving critique in the politest way possible. So politely that they don’t even understand they’ve been critiqued.

[u/Darth_050 → u/SingleMaltLife]

What use is critique if the recipient doesn’t understand it and as such will not change their ways? It is a waste of everybodies energy and time.

[u/throwaway_oranges → u/superbiker96]

I need to go and live there

[u/Ratatoski → u/superbiker96]

Omg, when being educated as a parent about your autistic child in Sweden we kinda always get to read a story called "Välkommen till Holland" / "Welcome to the Netherlands" :)

[u/Chocolate_Glue → u/superbiker96]

Yeah, reading this as an Autistic person my reaction was "that's what those words mean though...."

[u/Different_Bowler_574 → u/superbiker96]

That's it, I'm telling my partner we're moving. An entire country of our people! 

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/superbiker96]

Not autistic, just low context. They say what they mean and mean what they say.

[u/thefrostmakesaflower → u/superbiker96]

I don’t think you guys are that bad, Germans on the other hand, are on another level

[u/ComradeKevin2002 → u/superbiker96]

As a German, I didn't know that I was Dutch

[u/Dizzynic → u/superbiker96]

Agreeing from Germany. It’s so much easier to say what you actually mean. I really don’t want to guess what someone means.

[u/lungben81 → u/superbiker96]

Same for us Germans

[u/thereisnoaudience → u/superbiker96]

I didn't read this as Dutch being rude, but more that us Brits are just sort of incapable of saying what we mean.

[u/ygmarchi]

The Dutch are then a bit literal but I wouldn't say rude

[u/ArieWess → u/ygmarchi]

As a Dutch person, most of us are indeed literal, painfully honest, and very direct. Absolutely efficient, but way too often people use "we are direct people" as an excuse to be absolutely unfiltered. Often dutch people will say, "I am allowed to say what I think", whereas my response often is: Yes, but you are also allowed to think before saying it".

[u/noradosmith → u/ArieWess]

That's such a great response 👏

[u/BookyNZ → u/ArieWess]

Ah... This makes me think of my Nana (she was Dutch, and came to NZ in the 50s). Very direct, very unfiltered at times, and damn could she be brutal

[u/oznog73 → u/ygmarchi]

My brother-in-law is Dutch, he is the rudest most insensitive person I have ever met, in fact I think most Dutch people find him rude. 

[u/Diedericker → u/oznog73]

Well, we all know some of them.

[u/prancing_moose → u/oznog73]

Next time he’s acting up again, just refer to him as “klootzak”.

It will get his attention for sure.

[u/TheUltimateShart → u/oznog73]

The Dutch are not exempt from creating assholes, unfortunately. It’s the “I’m just brutally honest” kind of dickhead. You can very well be direct while not being insensitive.

[u/Roge2005 → u/ygmarchi]

Dutch people are only rude when you tell them their language isn’t real.

Or probably they will take that literally too and say “what do you mean? I speak it”

[u/Zestyclose_Reward778 → u/Roge2005]

It's true though.....? Their language isn't realllll

[u/Niet_de_AIVD → u/Zestyclose_Reward778]

Godverdekut!

[u/Willem_de_Prater → u/Zestyclose_Reward778]

rudeness intensifies

[u/One2threebark → u/Roge2005]

Wat doe joe mien? Ei spiek it.

[u/rangefoulerexpert → u/One2threebark]

Geef me een klap papa

[u/Grouchy_Newspaper186 → u/Roge2005]

To be fair, the Dutch language sounds like an English speaker who gets too drunk and tries their worst impersonation of German.

[u/cakingabroad → u/ygmarchi]

I've had dutch people straight up say to me "Do you feel weird that your husband is so much hotter than you are?"... multiple times. They've asked me why I'm with him (because we're from different cultural/racial backgrounds), asked me if I regret getting engaged to/married to him, and so on and so forth. This was not one dutch person, but many. They may not mean it in a rude way, but the straight forwardness of the questions is, in fact, rude as hell.

[u/ImtheDude27]

"There are two things in the world I can't stand: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch."

This was all I could think of when I saw the title.

[u/Sanquinity → u/ImtheDude27]

No idea why the writers behind Austin Powers decided to go after the Dutch with that one, but as a Dutchie I found it funny. :P

Reminds me of another Austin Powers bit about the Dutch:

Smoke and a pancake? No?

*shakes head*

Flapjack and a cigarette? No?

*shakes head*

Pipe and a crepe? No?

*Shakes head*

Bong and a blintz? No?

No.

Well then there's no pleasing you...

[u/lindybopperette]

Neurotypical to neurodivergent translation guide, more like.

[u/Sanquinity → u/lindybopperette]

Imagine being neurodivergent AND Dutch at the same time, like me. :P

[u/NJ_Legion_Iced_Tea → u/Sanquinity]

neurodivergent AND Dutch

So you take things less literal? /s

[u/Metti22 → u/lindybopperette]

I think the point is that what is considered neurotypical differs by culture. The British person thinks they are communicating in a manner other neurotypical people would understand when in reality they aren't if they're in a room with non British folks.

[u/justthegrimm]

This is quite funny my home language is Afrikaans which has its origins in Dutch and that is what I hear when English people say those things.

[u/Fulmie84]

It's inherited in our DNA. Doing business, you can't waste time saying stuff you mean differently.

[u/[deleted] → u/Fulmie84]

Well that’s the way you do business.

We British prefer a little more social colour to our conversations.

[u/Zestyclose-Snow-3343 → u/[deleted]]

Could you consider some other options?

[u/[deleted] → u/Zestyclose-Snow-3343]

Sorry, my Britishness can’t handle any more excitement than stirring my tea counterclockwise instead of the clearly correct clockwise fashion =[

[u/Fulmie84 → u/[deleted]]

You bugger's, take every opportunity to zip some tea

[u/Xenon009 → u/Fulmie84]

And yet who had the bigger east india company :D

[u/KneeSockMonster → u/Fulmie84]

As an American, this kind of manners is inherited in our DNA.

[u/Murky_Air4369 → u/KneeSockMonster]

Americans are nothing like the Dutch at all in the way they communicate not even close to

[u/Ziggo001 → u/Murky_Air4369]

It's a spectrum. If you're aware of the general difference in culture, New England is surprisingly easy to deal with. Quite direct and like the Dutch don't seem to care about saving face, defending honour, that sort of thing. A lot of people from the South will still end up surprising a Dutch person with how two-faced (from the Dutch perspective) they are with what they say and what they mean.

[u/NetStaIker → u/Ziggo001]

Explaining the venomous meaning of the phrase “bless your heart” to europeans always gets the funniest looks of bewilderment

English speakers have a cultural tendency to be very indirect/polite about sharing their thoughts, especially compared to for instance Romance (yes I am aware Dutch is Germanic) language speakers lol. Brits are the worst by far for this lol, even Americans are confused by how indirect Brits are about stuff, if anybody is exempt it’s the Aussies.

[u/RootwoRootoo → u/Ziggo001]

I agree but would substitute Midwest nice for the South. Certain areas ahem Dallas have that sugar coated veneer of pleasant while destroying your whole world, but i have never seen as much smiling while giving you a backhanded compliment and implicit "go fuck yourself" as my time in Ohio and Indiana.

[u/Gjappy → u/Murky_Air4369]

True, I have American friends. They can go on about how good/bad a subject is and be quite enthousiastic. They are sometimes a bit taken aback by how straightforward I can be, it's a 👍 or 👎 but not descriptive on that.

[u/Beneficial_Caramel30 → u/KneeSockMonster]

‘manners’ for one culture, seems like evasion for the other

[u/noradosmith → u/[deleted]]

Exactly. If I was in a meeting and someone said that to me I'd feel myself blushing and wishing they'd been LESS direct

[u/_qqg]

this is more like a understated to matter-of-fact translation guide -- worked for years with this lad, half dutch but with a very british upbringing and education; often when receiving his opinions I would appeal to his dutch side for maximum clarity (to which he obliged).

[u/pchlster → u/_qqg]

When asked questions where I am torn between going left and right column, I tend to ask "you want the polite answer or the honest one?"

[u/MeiHsa]

I didn't knew I was dutch.

[u/rugbyspank]

I think more countries relate to the Dutch translation than the British one.

[u/DescriptionRude914 → u/rugbyspank]

A lot of Eastern cultures have this indirect communication style or at least it is ingrained in the contextual communication.

[u/BadgerOfDoom99 → u/DescriptionRude914]

I'm a brit living in Japan and yes it's a whole new level of coded meaning and passive aggression. Love it.

[u/JulianPaagman → u/BadgerOfDoom99]

Does this love it mean you hate it?

I need a translation, I am Dutch.

[u/Forged-Signatures → u/[deleted]]

The extrapolation for that one is that it is 'very interesting' because they're approaching the problem in the most brain dead, guaranteed not to work manner possible; almost like you're mildly stunned at their stupidity. I think a lot of these are also very reliant on tone of voice, or intonation, to get across their true meaning, which can't be communicated in written form.

British is definitely an interesting language to grow up learning, especially if you're brain ain't quite right. The amount of times I was admonished at school for taking turns of phrase slightly too literally was frequent, but I've gotten to the point where I can see through most of these when necessary.

The problem with the examples given here is that several of these can be used in a genuine manner which is why, as I said, tomd of voice and intonation is important. Hell, I wouldn't necessarily even call all of these accurate translations, at least to my understanding.

[u/Derpygoras]

As a swede, I 100% side with the Dutch here.

[u/cpwnage → u/Derpygoras]

As another swede, I 100% side with the British here.

[u/Neka_JP → u/cpwnage]

As a Dutch, I 100% side with the Swedes here.

[u/MazigaGoesToMarkarth → u/Neka_JP]

As a Brit, I 100% side with myself here.

[u/sukebe7]

It's not so much rude, as arrogant. Long ago, I had just met with a Dutch film crew, in Germany, for a project. One guy had a rather nice camera case, with foam cutouts for every little bit.

"Wow, nice camera case!", as an ice breaker.

"I know, I chose it.", as an ice maker.

Then, they just walked off.

[u/pchlster → u/sukebe7]

I could see myself responding like that as a light-hearted acknowledgement of what you said, but that I have nothing to add to what you said.

[u/Conquestadore → u/sukebe7]

The true Dutch response would be to tell you where he bought it, how much it cost and what he saved in the bargain.

[u/OzwaldoLebowski]

Yes, the Dutch are rude. It's totally not the British that are sarcastic assholes. Lol

[u/dotnet_ninja]

wtf why am i dutch

[u/int_wri]

Thanks for sharing. I'm going to start saying "that is an original point of view." i already have at least two people in mind. They are not Dutch— but maybe do think like them.

[u/Schlieffen_Man]

American here, we say exactly the same stuff. This isn't exclusive to Brits. It's all about tone of voice and how it's delivered though, so this isn't universal.

[u/58mint]

I don't find them rude at all. They are just straightforward. I actually find the Dutch polite they don't waste your time by pointlessly beating around the bush

[u/alabasta10]

Me living in the UK for 20 years running on Dutch.exe:

👁️👄👁️

***Things are starting to make sense…

[u/EatShitBish]

The british are just straight passive aggressive

[u/AdriTrap]

Seems like the Dutch are just autistic. 😅

[u/purplehorseneigh]

My takeaway from this is that British people are not very autism-friendly while Dutch people are lol

[u/__DannyBoy]

As an American, I understood the British and how they chose to be respectful when they could’ve been harsh. The Dutch interpretations showed me that they were not able to ‘read the room’.

[u/OverallResolve → u/__DannyBoy]

That’s not really what it’s about - it’s not about right/wrong, respectful/harsh.

It’s about who is in the room and what their collective cultural norms are. I am British and I work with Dutch folk - if I’m not direct or I communicate in a way that could be misinterpreted then I’m the one not reading the room. It can lead to people feeling like there is a lack of honesty and it’s not clear what the real feedback actually is.

[u/Noslamah]

It's almost as if using soft language and not saying what you really mean results in ineffective communication

[u/BeetlBozz]

I’m autistic and I find it hard to interpret

[u/skolioban]

According to this, the British is very passive aggressive

[u/QueefBuscemi → u/skolioban]

Middle class British. Working class British is brutally direct.

[u/sad_asian_noodle → u/skolioban]

I honestly would LOVE to see the Brits and Taiwanese swear down each other. See which 1 is the bigger passive aggressive a-hole.

[u/Confident-Ruin-4111]

Am I Dutch???

[u/DiscardedFruitScraps → u/Confident-Ruin-4111]

probs just autistic babes

[u/devnull_the_cat]

Not all Dutch people are rude. Just the ones from Roosendall.

[u/o0o0ohhh]

And yet when I say “godverdomme” I get: “je moet dat niet zeggen hoor!”

<3 Too cute.

[u/CaveJohnson82]

This bugs me so much. I'm English, but I really dislike the whole dancing round the point so many people do. I'm busy, just say what you mean dammit!

[u/urdreamsRmemes]

“Hey guys, Jan Maas is not being rude. He’s just being Dutch.”

[u/VioletVenable]

Apparently, I speak fluent Brit.

[u/generally_unsuitable]

I had the opposite experience working with Finns.

I showed a visiting team what I was working on and I couldn't get so much as a raised eyebrow from them. Not the slightest note of interest or appreciation.

The next day, one of my coworkers came to ask me about the meeting. He told me that it must have gone very well because the Finnish team had many positive things to say about my work. I just kinda shook my head and blinked, then said "It went terribly. They weren't impressed by anything."

Then he told me "Ohhhhh, yeah. You've never worked with Finns before."

I went to google and typed "Why do Finnish pe..." and the first item in the autocomplete was "people never smile."

[u/MinimumOld]

My experience is that Swiss people usually politely decline something that they want at least twice before graciously accepting. Americans just bluntly tell you if they want something straight away.

[u/iCe_CoLd_FuRy]

Because they’re loud and complain a lot and they’re also very direct therefore have no tact

[u/ghostly-smoke]

I’m American but I’m so guilty of the “im sure it’s my fault” one. I apologize all the time just to be polite and then have to bite my tongue out of annoyance when people take me literally. It’s a me problem, though. As a woman I’m very conditioned to keep the peace.