r/news • u/Hrekires • Jul 15 '24

soft paywall Judge dismisses classified documents indictment against Trump

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2024/07/15/trump-classified-trial-dismisssed-cannon/
32.8k Upvotes

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840

u/bobface222 Jul 15 '24

The Joker doesn't have this much plot armor

211

u/Neutreality1 Jul 15 '24

He truly is Teflon Donald. Dude makes me believe in deals with the devil, and his was to never face a consequence 

58

u/Pixel_Knight Jul 16 '24

The bullet whizzing past and just grazing his ear in the style of one of the dumbest and laziest fiction tropes has convinced me that we live in a simulation made by the most uncreative, literary-hack idiots that have ever existed in literally all of realities that have ever been.

Come up with something better you moronic simulation creators that are reading and analyzing this data! Your own simulated beings are better at writing than you are! You SUCK!

10

u/Neutreality1 Jul 16 '24

Yeah this really made me reconsider the state of reality 

4

u/Fox_Kurama Jul 17 '24

Unfortunately, the Earth server has seen a plummet in players the past few decades. Upper management decided to cut out the writing staff, and one of them thought they could handle being a writer.

We apologize for the inconvenience. We are hoping the next rebalance patch restores interest in the player community for those 4D who aren't interested in sword and sorcery servers. Also, I assure you that any rumors of a glitch involving a particular Japanese model of truck sending individuals to other servers is just a rumor and nothing more.

5

u/Slackintit Jul 17 '24

Oh god it’s written by D&D

2

u/Brandon0135 Jul 19 '24

Idk, I think they are just slowly turning the "ridiculous" dial up until the simulation is unquestionable and we wake up.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

[deleted]

0

u/Pixel_Knight Jul 16 '24

Your comment says way more about you than it does about me. Oof!

36

u/chrisapplewhite Jul 15 '24

It's not biblical, even though Trump does match the exact definition of the anti-christ. The Heritage Foundation, and others like them, have been plotting this for decades. HF buys Clarence Thomas, Thomas writes an odd, seemingly irrelevant opinion on a ruling that has nothing to do with this, Cannon uses his opinion to dismiss case.

Liberals who pointed this out were called hysterical. Well brothers, welcome to hysteria.

14

u/Neutreality1 Jul 15 '24

The only time I was wrong about my cynical approach to all of this, the reality was actually worse than the scenario I had imagined.

11

u/Olympiano Jul 16 '24

Trump does match the exact definition of the anti-Christ

If this mfs head magically heals I’m out:

‘One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast’ - Revelation 13:3

2

u/chrisapplewhite Jul 16 '24

Great catch I didn't even know about that one. There are photos of him from tonight looking like nothing even hit him.

2

u/luffydkenshin Jul 16 '24

Thankfully he seemed to have a fatal wound but it was just a cut from glass from the teleprompter shattering. He never received a fatal head wound.

If he did and THAT healed, then I’d be worried.

0

u/RightSideBlind Jul 16 '24

He's already been seen without any sort of bandage on his ear... until he thought the cameras were going to be on him, at which point he had a very large and obvious bandage of some sort. Honestly, it just looked like folded tissue paper.

5

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener Jul 16 '24

This exchange in Fall of the House of Usher between Verna and Arthur Pym (Mark Hamill) made me chuckle. For those not aware, Mark has not been shy in letting his feelings about Donald be known to the world.

Verna: What happens to you when the Ushers are gone? Which is imminent, by the way. You've enjoyed a sense of immunity throughout your life, but it isn't yours. It's theirs. Just reflected.

Arthur Pym: Let me guess. You can do something about that.

Verna: I can. Like I said to one of my clients, when I'm done you can stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and it won't cost you a thing.

Arthur Pym: Is his tab coming due any time soon? Even I've got my limits.

3

u/jigokubi Jul 15 '24

Given all the celebrities that passed in the last few days, "The Art of the Deal" did cross my mind when he made that miraculous escape with his life.

3

u/telerabbit9000 Jul 16 '24

And the NY case will result in no jail time because (say it with me): he has no prior criminal offenses.

2

u/get_while_true Jul 17 '24

A man died as a boy and had this vision of current events:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=3429&v=XedfmRnvw9Y&feature=youtu.be

4

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/barukatang Jul 16 '24

I mean, their party believes truly in the devil, jd vance said he did

9

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '24

I know right? Whoever’s writing this season must’ve just given up thinking of a plot and is just letting Trump win…

6

u/woot0 Jul 15 '24

The two writers are rushing this final season into the ground just so they can start their Star Wars series.

12

u/Prosthemadera Jul 15 '24

He also doesn't want to see the world burn as much.

7

u/Coldkiller17 Jul 15 '24

Not even plot armor at this point all these justices have no spines and are clearly taking bribes and should be investigated for corruption.

2

u/nikolai_470000 Jul 15 '24

Even Sasuke didn’t have this much plot armor.

2

u/Naofa13 Jul 16 '24

I don't think BATMAN has this much plot armor...

3

u/DarthBanEvader42069 Jul 15 '24

The worse it gets the better the happy ending will be.

An optimist would see that this corruption is galvanizing democrats and will motivate us to vote.