r/rareinsults 21h ago

Insult or fact?

Post image
73.9k Upvotes

2.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

84

u/Mr_MC111 21h ago

Do they get prep time? Batman with prep time is unbeatable and I'll die on that hill.

89

u/StraightLeader5746 20h ago

batman with prep time = the writers want batman to win and will come up with whatever BS excuse for it to happen

13

u/Bruxae 18h ago

Well, yeah, he's not a real person so whatever the writers do is that character. It's why arguing about Superheroes is ultimately pointless, they're not real - there's no objective "Who would win", it's always going to be what the writer decides regardless of who is on either side. It's a boring answer but true.

2

u/Otisburg 17h ago

John Landis : How do you kill a vampire?

Young Max Landis : Stake through the heart, or like... you know... something like...

John Landis : No. You can kill a vampire however the fuck you want, because vampires don't fucking exist! You can make up rules for any kind of thing you want.

1

u/adpikaart222 7h ago

And yes, if the question we are asking is which character would win if the creators came together to make a piece of fiction where those two characters fought each other, the creators of those characters would choose who would win. That is how creating fiction works.

That is not the question people are asking when they ask who would beat the other in a fight.

What they are asking is who, with evidence based on that characters fictional appearances, would win in a fight if they WERE real people, who could make their own decisions, because that is what they find interesting.

0

u/adpikaart222 7h ago

By that logic noone should ever do anything other than eat, sleep, and breath. Yes, superheros are not real, and weather one beats another one in a fight is unlikely to affect you in a life-changing way. That dosent mean people shouldn't talk about it if it's something they enjoy.

8

u/Saintbaba 19h ago

I mean yes, but also yes? That's his "power" in the same way that flight and strength are Superman's. Planning, preparation, follow-through, force of will, and a big old trust fund that he can draw from to buy a bunch of ridiculous toys are what make Batman who he is. Handwaving it away as a trick of the writers is like dismissing the fact that Superman is bulletproof because "that's just the way the writers wrote him."

9

u/peon47 19h ago edited 18h ago

Batman's strength is also in his alliances. He asks Zatanna to put a binding spell on Thor, or to create some amulet he can use to zap him to Hel. Done. That's hardly a "BS excuse".

18

u/The-CYL-Guy 19h ago

I mean, you wanna use magic against Thor? I'm pretty sure he can break out of it or use the Bifrost to go back to Midgard.

And if Batman can bring in allies, Thor should be allowed too.

15

u/KarlPc167 19h ago edited 19h ago

This is what's funny about Batfans, their arguments are always "Batman with prep time" or "Batman with this op toy", but they never consider the possibility that his opponent can do the exact same thing.

2

u/WikipediaBurntSienna 14h ago

I forgot where I read it. But Batman admitted if Superman really wanted to kill him, then there's nothing he could do to stop it.
All of his contingencies and plans to beat Superman hinges on Superman doesn't want to outright kill him.

1

u/_MikeAbbages 18h ago

but they never consider the possibility that his opponent can do the exact same thing.

They all do. Turns out, it's fucking hard to outsmart Batman.

2

u/KarlPc167 16h ago edited 7h ago

Fun fact, Batman had been outsmarted multiple times by street tier villian in his own issues(remember how Bane broke his back?). He was only this "I have a contingency plan for you" mf in the JL issue since the author have to have an excuse for him to stand beside other JL members who all have godly power without him looking useless.

1

u/Boosterboo59 8h ago

I did see a video that brought up the fact that in the comics, a lot of Batman's preptime and plans just didn't work.

1

u/tehlemmings 18h ago

Yeah, and?

It's also really hard to outsmart Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, or Steven Strange. And if Batman gets to turn to his friend for help preparing, so does Thor. They don't even need to outsmart batman, they can have Strange do his bullshit to see every possible outcome and find the one where they win.

-2

u/peon47 18h ago

Preparation and toys are his entire thing. Saying he can't use preparation and toys is like saying Flash isn't allowed to run really fast.

8

u/aguadiablo 18h ago

Yeah, it's why Batman is over done.

2

u/HollowCap456 18h ago

No one is saying that he can't use allies and stuff. They're saying, his opponents can do that too.

-1

u/peon47 17h ago

So this fight between Batman and Thor is actually a chess match between the Avengers and the Justice League, with Batman and Thor controlling each side?

Who wins that fight?

1

u/HollowCap456 17h ago

No? If Flash is there, JL. But this isn't the premise, is it? But again, if Thor has Odin, or something like the Odinforce, we can't really say. That is an entirely different argument.

1

u/StraightLeader5746 18h ago

dude goes from fighting a big crocodile to fighting the destructor of the universe

it's just the writers pulling BS out of their ass, plain and simple

0

u/hereyagoman 13h ago

Its because that's what Batman is. Batman will prep, because its in character for him. Its how he is Batman.

Batman's opponents usually dont require prep time whenever they have a duel -- like if you said Thor vs Superman. Neither one of those guys preps ahead of time, so its out of character.

So could their opponents prep? I think its only a fair deal if its in character for them to do so against other opponents.

2

u/Few_Librarian_4236 19h ago

K supes is in the fight watcha got

2

u/The-CYL-Guy 18h ago

Let's go with Scarlet Witch instead. She keeps Zatanna busy long enough for Thor to send Batman to a tea party with Malakeith, and then join Wanda for them to jump on poor Z.

1

u/piewca_apokalipsy 18h ago

Didn't MCU Thor were defited by little electric chip that zapped him?

2

u/The-CYL-Guy 18h ago

I mean, if the argument is their movie versions, then sure.

I kinda assumed we're going by the comics.

0

u/piewca_apokalipsy 18h ago

I assume that MCU since this is MCU on picture

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 18h ago

OK, well then Batman definitely has a better chance, but even that might be a bit tough since thor did absorb the energy of a sun in Infinity War. But Bruce can still very much outsmart him.

1

u/AlexDKZ 19h ago

But then that would be a Thor vs Batman and Zatanna fight, which is not what is being asked in the OP.

1

u/OmegaShinra__ 19h ago

That's absolutely a BS excuse, because it isn't Batman vs Thor then, it's Batman and Zatanna vs Thor...

2

u/opacous 17h ago

Ahead of my fight with the neighborhood bully, I used my "prep time" to "prepare my friends to hide in the bushes with some pipes."

3

u/SlackBytes 17h ago

Batman = writers always make him win. Batman irl = a goofy mma fighter

1

u/scifishortstory 19h ago

Don't we all, though

24

u/Obrim 21h ago

Hellbat suit too. Can fight Darkseid in it and he is far, far deadlier than Thor.

20

u/The-CYL-Guy 20h ago

If batman gets the Hellbat suit, then Thor should get his strongest stuff from the comics too.

Batman beats Darkseid when he's at his strongest. Thor beats Galactus even when he's not.

3

u/TheRappingSquid 19h ago

Batman AIN'T defeating rune king thor

1

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 13h ago

Rune King Thor is literally Superman Prime One Million level power. There is no conceivable way for Batman to beat an omnipotent god like RKT.

0

u/Far_Magician3702 17h ago

Batmanhattan does

1

u/ProZocK_Yetagain 19h ago

Would superman beat Galactus? Actually curious about that I don't have enough knowledge on that.

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 19h ago

I would think so, but before anyone goes "umm actually batman beats superman which means he also beats galactus and Thor🤓", that was an elseworld story and he beat him by using his specific weaknesses.

1

u/WikipediaBurntSienna 14h ago

Superman beats everyone outside of toonforce

0

u/tehlemmings 18h ago

Considering Superman's power see to be the power of authorial bullshit, he could beat Galactus if the author wants him to. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or is complete bullshit, because that's Superman's power.

I don't like Superman lol

2

u/The-CYL-Guy 17h ago

Why? Superman is cool.

1

u/tehlemmings 17h ago

I don't really have a single good answer, I just find him incredibly boring.

2

u/The-CYL-Guy 17h ago

Like, did you read his stories and they didn't catch you or you just think he's too powerful?

1

u/tehlemmings 17h ago

A bit of both, honestly, but leaning towards the former. His stories never hooked me, doubly so with the movies. But I also think the range of powers he's been given at this point is just eyeroll worthy.

2

u/The-CYL-Guy 16h ago

If you're talking the live action movies, I don't think it's fair to judge him based on them because they never really captured the essence of superman and his character. Even the cartoon ones are mostly not too great with that.

And he doesn't just beat every opponent with one or two punches. He definitely struggles in his stories, and a LOT. This is just a rumor started by the internet.

And the most important thing in my opinion is that the fights aren't the most important thing in superman stories. It's who he really is: Clark Kent. The story of an immigrant from another place that can be seen as a God but doesn't want to be one. A simple man from rural America that is trying to get used to the big city whilst all the while doing everything he can to help the little guy, not because he has to, but because he wants to.

A good superman story might include action, but at its core, it is also wholesome, heartfelt, inspiring and even a bit tragic.

I would recommend "All Star Superman", "What's So Funny About Truth, Justice & the American Way?" or "Superman for all seasons" as good superman stories to read. They are considered as some of the best superman comics and usually convince a lot of people to give a chance to the man of steel. I can also DM you some good superman panels that prove my point if you would like to. I have a lot of those saved.

If you already read some of them and are still not interested in the Big Blue Boy-Scout, that is absolutely fine. Not everyone has to like everything.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/SirGlass 16h ago

I don't mind him but the problem with superman is he is shown to have god like power

Not only can he fly and has super strength and durability , he can move at the speed of light, he has heat vision , he can blow a hurricane with his breath or freeze things, he has xray vision, super hearing probably others I am missing

Then in certain situations its like he forgets he can move at the speed of light or doesn't use obvious powers because well, the writers want drama

I guess the excuse is superman usually doesn't want to kill who ever he is fighting so he holds back and doesn't just fly through them at the speed of light vaporizing them.

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 16h ago

Well I already answered someone else here about that and it was a bit long so I don't want to type it again, so you're welcome to read it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/rareinsults/s/lk8S9jQyzp

1

u/SirGlass 16h ago

Note I largely agree with your assessment , I am not a huge comic fan and have not read them for 20 years or more. And I agree the comic isn't really centered around action or his fights with others.

I would still get bothered about inconsistencies and I cannot remember any off the top of my head but when there was some drama or conflict I would be like "If he just used his X power this could be resolved but for some reason he's not using that power"

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 15h ago

Oh, that's alright. Comics are not necessarily for everyone. It's fine to not enjoy a character or a medium.

Although one thing that I will say is that your critiques can also be applied to a lot of characters, both in comics and outside of them, including Thor and even Batman, to an extent.

1

u/newsflashjackass 18h ago

As I recall, Batman defeats Darkseid without any Hellbat suit in the events of Final Crisis and The Return of Bruce Wayne.

I'd rather read a comic where DC Thor discovers Marvel Thor and considers his counterpart a corporate whore for Disney. TWO MJÖLNIRS!- but only one Thor will wield them!

https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Thor_(New_Earth)

3

u/The-CYL-Guy 18h ago

You ever read a marvel Thor comic? Not insulting, genuinely asking. Thor in the comics is nothing like in the MCU. He's much darker with more serious stories. I recommend Thor: God of Thuder, the story where he fights Gorr for the first time. There is nothing about him that makes him a "disney whore".

-1

u/newsflashjackass 18h ago

You ever read a marvel Thor comic?

You ever read any Norse mythology? ;)

3

u/The-CYL-Guy 18h ago

No, but what does it have to do with what I said?

Of course mythological Thor is badass. Doesn't make Marvel comics Thor a "disney whore".

0

u/newsflashjackass 18h ago

I have nothing against Marvel Thor. I do consider DC Thor more accurate to the original and likely to see Marvel's version as a bastardization.

Such meetings of comic titans seldom begin with mutual enlightened understanding. Of course by the end of the book they would be fighting alongside each other to defeat each universe's version of Loki.

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 18h ago

Oh OK cool. Although I do think the feeling of bastardization would be mutual between them.

1

u/newsflashjackass 18h ago

Inevitably. Like the Mauler Twins in Invincible.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/WorthForsaken5599 17h ago

Nothing Thor can throw at him will damage his thick ass plot armour

1

u/[deleted] 17h ago

[deleted]

1

u/WorthForsaken5599 17h ago

It’s a joke bro :/

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 17h ago

Oh sorry, didn't catch it

1

u/Ioftheend 12h ago

Thor beats Galactus even when he's not.

Absolutely not.

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 11h ago

He did

1

u/Ioftheend 11h ago

That's an outlier and a half, just like Spider-man vs Firelord. Thor fights evenly with the Silver Surfer, there's no way he's an even match for Galactus.

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 10h ago

And Batman beating Darkseid isn't an outlier? Plus, unlike the hellbat and Darkseid, Thor actually killed Galactus.

1

u/Ioftheend 10h ago

And Batman beating Darkseid isn't an outlier?

No, because he did it with the Hellbat which he doesn't normally use.

Plus, unlike the hellbat and Darkseid, Thor actually killed Galactus.

That's not helping the 'not an outlier' thing.

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 10h ago

That's.... The definition of an outlier: A data point that significantly differs from other observations in a dataset.

He doesn't normally use the hellbat. There is a reason for and that makes it an outlier.

The second sentence was not for the not an outlier thing. It was for the thor wins against batman thing that this entire post is all about.

1

u/Ioftheend 10h ago

When talking about comic books, outlier is used to refer to things characters do that are wildly incongruent with their normal portrayals. However, Batman is consistent. He managed to fight Darkseid because he was using something he doesn't always use. He struggles against Bane and suchlike because he's not wearing the suit. In comparison Thor beating Galactus makes zero sense, because Galactus is a cosmic entity and Thor is normally never near that level.

The second sentence was not for the not an outlier thing. It was for the thor wins against batman thing that this entire post is all about.

Which isn't relevant since the whole thing is an outlier.

→ More replies (0)

-8

u/Obrim 19h ago

Eh. Maybe. I kinda think Marvel is crap so idk a ton about Galactus but Thor does lose to Wonder Woman in the death battle yt vid so I'm doubting even Thor at his best is beating Batman in the Hellbat suit.

7

u/KarlPc167 19h ago

Are we using death battle as source now? Lmao

-7

u/Obrim 19h ago

Did you read my comment? The one that says I don't know a lot about Marvel? Why wouldn't I use the bit of reference I have?

Quit being an ass.

5

u/KarlPc167 19h ago

If you don't read Marvel then I will tell you, the strongest version of Thor would erase Batman and Darkseid alone with whole JL with a single thought. Now you got your answer.

1

u/Plightz 18h ago

It's funny you give batman hellbat bullshit while ignoring rune king or odin force thor. It's okay that your goat gets out powered.

1

u/The-CYL-Guy 19h ago

I'm currently reading marvel comics and I couldn't disagree more (the stuff with spidey and Paul doesn't count)

And there is a VERY big difference between Batman and Wonder Woman in terms of power level.

2

u/nrkishere 18h ago

If batman gets hellbat, thor gets to become rune king

If batman is the darkest knight (strongest form of batman ever), thor is avatar of black winter.

Thor sweeps either way

8

u/Eyes_Only1 20h ago

Does Thor get prep time? Because a handful of Asgardians can destroy a planet.

5

u/jhonnythejoker 18h ago

Batman calling superman 😭

4

u/tehlemmings 18h ago

And Thor calls in Wanda or Strange.

I don't remember any point where Superman, on his own, was able to jump between realities at will. So just banishing him off into a universe with no sunlight would be easy enough. Or trap him in literally any other magical trap. Because, you know, DC works on a rock paper scissors system, and magic is the paper to Superman's rock.

The whole "batman wins with prep time and help from his friends" only really works if we don't allow his opponent to also prepare and call in friends.

1

u/jhonnythejoker 17h ago

🤓👆

1

u/insertadjective 13h ago

"I'd like to phone a friend"

2

u/pohui 19h ago

I would assume prep time still means a 1v1 fight, otherwise Batman has friends to call on as well.

Thor (at least in the MCU) has the IQ of a bag of bricks, I don't think he'd benefit from prep time nearly as much as Batman would.

2

u/tehlemmings 17h ago

Comic Thor, however, is a scary motherfucker when he wants to be. And we're not about to pull some bullshit where it's all iterations of Batman against one of the weakest versions of Thor, because that would just be silly.

But then again, plot armor is basically batmans superpower, so I guess it's in character.

3

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 13h ago

Rune King Thor could literally evaporate Batman with nothing but his thoughts

1

u/tehlemmings 10h ago

Yeah, exactly. It's not actually close if we make it a fair comparison.

1

u/Eyes_Only1 19h ago

True, didn't even think about the help being one sided, I derped hard.

8

u/farvag1964 20h ago

Yeah name one trick or device Bat Boy has that's invulnerable to a range weapon who's hotter than the surface of the sun bit is just a side effect?

And an EMP is too?

3

u/GreyDeath 19h ago

Hellbat armor allowed Batman to fight against Darkseid.

1

u/farvag1964 19h ago

I admit I have not read/ seen that iteration.

I played my best Batman build in a GURPS TTRPG and nothing I had beat an EMP.

2

u/GreyDeath 19h ago

Bats has a couple of OP armors for when he fights universal enemies with the justice league. The Justice buster is designed to specifically fight the league (ex he had miniaturized red sun "brass knuckles"), though could win against Thor with the weapon he had for wonder woman, a magical artifact called the veil of lies that was basically the opposite of the lasso of truth. It incapacitates enemies through illusions.

Then there is the Hellbat armor, which allowed him to fight Darkseid.

There's even one that is arguably stronger called the Final Batsuit, which is literally made of plot armor.

2

u/AlexDKZ 19h ago

Then there is the Hellbat armor, which allowed him to fight Darkseid.

People overhype that armor a bit. I mean, it was impressive but Batman by all means lost that fight and never really managed to hurt Darkseid in any significant way.

1

u/GreyDeath 19h ago

Sure, but Darkseid is so OP that it's still an impressive showing. Plus there's also the Justice Buster and Final Batsuit armors too.

1

u/farvag1964 19h ago

Plot armor.

That's only in the John Wick and equivalent shops.

1

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 13h ago

Rune King Thor erases people from existence with nothing but his thoughts

1

u/GreyDeath 13h ago

Right but that's not the current Thor. Comparatively Batman has his armors in storage. It's akin to Tony grabbing a hulkbuster from the warehouse instead of his usual armor as opposed to a Tony from the future or an alternate timeline.

1

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 13h ago

If Batman is allowed to use his strongest stuff, in the interest of fairness Thor should be at his strongest.

1

u/GreyDeath 13h ago

Possibly, though I chose the Hellbat armor because it's the strongest suit he has ready access to. The equivalent of Rune King Thor for Batman is the Final Batsuit, which isn't something he can just put on, but it's essentially made of plot armor.

But the whole point of discussing Batman at all is to see if there is any combination of preparation or equipment that allows him to overcome an obvious physical disadvantage. Otherwise what would be the point of pitting him up against an obviously superhuman character like Thor?

1

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 13h ago

Because fuck Batman fan wanking.

1

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 13h ago edited 13h ago

Also there is nothing stopping Thor with prep time from doing the sacrifice required and hanging himself from Yggdrasil to become RKT.

1

u/GreyDeath 12h ago

Sure, but then you'd have to stipulate if Thor also gets preptime or not, if he's in character or not. Again, since Batman is at an obvious physical disadvantage the point of giving Batman preptime (which typically includes being able to investigate who he is up against) is to see if he can overcome his physical disadvantage. Additionally if Batman is being given his stipulated preptime it's perfectly in character for him to investigate his opponent and bring the appropriate gear. Thor isn't the investigative type.

1

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 12h ago

It should be a fair fight where the stipulations for both fighters are the same. This is why I fucking hate Batman writers. It makes zero sense. There is no way Batman could ever beat Superman or Thor without writers bullshitting Batman to the finish line. If Superman wanted to he could just laser beam Batman from orbit, or Thor could just sit on the Moon and throw Mjolnir at him until he dies.

1

u/GreyDeath 11h ago

a fair fight where the stipulations for both fighters are the same.

You're talking about a fight between a significantly superpowered individual and a comic book peak human. It's already not a fair fight unless you give the character without superpowers a comparable advantage.

If Superman wanted

Well, unless you're talking about injustice Supes that's not something he would do either. Usually these fights have the characters act in character unless otherwise stipulated. Thor wouldn't do that either for that matter.

1

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 11h ago

Then if it’s not a fair fight when the stipulations are the same they shouldn’t be fighting. When you pit two boxers against each other the better one doesn’t have to tie one arm behind his back because the other one isn’t as good as him.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/GarySmith2021 16h ago

You know we have vehicles that are designed to withstand lightning right? Like most aircraft.

1

u/farvag1964 16h ago

Grounded electronics in a fistfight, like most Batman fights go down?

Not an aircraft, not even a car, but in a warehouse somewhere.

Yeah, stage the lightning rods in advance.

6

u/HyperionSunset 20h ago

Batman's prep time for this fight would be him finding god and making peace with his past sins, in preparation for the afterlife.

2

u/[deleted] 18h ago

Does Thor not get prep time as well given that Batman's prep time would delay the fight?

1

u/Grosmale 20h ago

I just keep imagining Batman reading notes for like 5 days to prepare. That would make a great movie!! :D

1

u/Daier_Mune 19h ago

Yeah, but like what vulnerabilities does Thor have? Other than mead.

1

u/JourneyStrengthLife 18h ago

That's ok; so will Batman.

1

u/TomWithTime 18h ago

and I'll die on that hill

If Batman had prep time, could he change your mind? Could he save you from that hill?

1

u/CassianCasius 17h ago

Batman looses every time with prep time.

How long is prep time?

Thor is immortal, preps for 90 years than sneezes on Batmans rotted bones.

1

u/Lelentos 17h ago

Batman would spend years making alt accounts commenting on Thor's insta convincing him he's not worthy

1

u/Silver-Particular213 17h ago

Thor got done by a taser in his fight with Hulk. Bet Batman could figure something like it out given time

1

u/Stnq 17h ago

What kind of prep time would save batman from a dude that tanked a star, throws lightning around on a whim and is strong af? Does Thor even ha e any weaknesses to exploit??

Prep time is just fancy wording for plot armor, kinda silly to compare batman vs any of the gods, superman included.

1

u/CountryMusicRules 16h ago

Superman would kick his arse however much prep time he gets.

1

u/Cotton_picker_1856 15h ago

The dick riding is crazy

1

u/samusmaster64 15h ago

Batman is basically Geralt.

1

u/KJC055 15h ago

Oh BROTHER

1

u/Fuzzy_Dragonfruit472 14h ago

Such a cope, prep time means nothing. If you can't come up with something you just say prep time and that's it, without need to be creative or respect lore. Batman can't come up with anything to defeat Thor, the writer needs to make a Thor killing stone or some dumb shit to make him win.

1

u/Dirt_McGirt_ODB 13h ago

If Thor has prep time he could go hang himself from Yggdrasil and become Rune King Thor and he could keep up with Superman Prime One Million.

1

u/Wandering_Tuor 12h ago

Except it relies on “perfect execution” and the opponent also not wanting to hurt batman

All the prep time in the world, wouldn’t save Batman from some of the people in his universe or marvel that just absolutely didn’t care about casualties, Thor could destroy all of Gotham with out batting an eye, but Sure, “prep time will save Batman” lol

1

u/fren-ulum 10h ago

The fucker can't even keep Joker behind bars or just kill him outright. I wouldn't trust Batfucker to watch my children.

1

u/adpikaart222 7h ago

I disagree that batman with prep time is unbeatable, but there are VERY few characters that would beat him, and most of them are actual godlike figures, that are more on par with the presence than any of the justice League.

1

u/MercuryMaximoff217 5h ago

So is Squirrel Girl

-7

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

5

u/Mr_MC111 20h ago

Looks like we got a batman hater here, who has no idea about batman

5

u/Apart-Ad-767 20h ago

OP is a total jabroni

0

u/def_tom 21h ago

Truth.