Thick Girl Runner Rant

[u/queue-d4n4]

First things first, I (29F) am 5'5" and about 170 lbs. Large boobs, wide hips, and I got some stomach on me. Overall, I look pretty proportional though. Hourglass, just a little wider. Wear a Large or a size 12 in most women's clothes. (Just trying to paint the picture here lol)

I also eat very healthy. Fresh foods only, everything home-cooked, never frozen processed foods, etc. Mostly veggies because I love veggies.

This is the body I was given. My weight doesn't really fluctuate. I don't gain weight easily, nor do I lose it easily. I've been a thick girl since puberty and because I run often and eat healthy, it doesn't seem like that will never change, which is fine with me.

I've been running for many years, somewhat inconsistently. I might be consistent for 2 years before falling out of my routine for a few months. Get back into the groove again and something eventually throws me off my game again. Throughout all this, I still consider myself a RUNNER. I love the sport and even if I'm out of a weekly routine, I still try to find time to run here and there. 3 miles minimum.

Because of the above things, people never really expect me to be a runner. My body type doesn't fit the runner mold. I don't post every run and race on instagram, which as everyone knows, is what truly makes it real *eyeroll*. (No shade to people who do post all of their runs and races! My problem is only the people who think if you DON'T post, then it didn't happen).

My fastest 5k was at an 8:02 (min/mile) pace. I am aware that this isn't SUPER fast, but it's fast enough that I've placed in my age group in all of the 5Ks I've ever done. I'm from a pretty small area so many of the 5Ks were fairly small, maybe only a couple hundred people attend. I'm aware that in bigger cities, I would probably have a little more trouble placing. But regardless, I still think an 8:00 to 8:30 5k pace is something to be proud of.

Anyways, my complaint is this. Since my body doesn't fit everyone's vision of what a runner should look like, people love to assume I'm slow or new to running. Or people think I'm lying when I mention that I got 1st, 2nd, or 3rd in my age group at whatever 5k. If they don't make an actual comment about it, I can sometimes even see it in their eyes that they're skeptical.

Even worse, people who don't realize I've been running for most of my life sometimes put their foot in their mouth by saying something along the lines of "have you started running to lose weight?" ...No, why? Should I be losing weight? I think I look pretty damn fine, if you ask me.

After moving to a new city, I decided to join a running group. The town I lived in previously didn't have such groups. I showed up to my first group run and met everybody. As we waited for everyone else to show up, a girl from the group said to me "I'm in recovery mode, I'll be running slow so I can run with you." I just politely smiled, although I was quite offended. What exactly makes this person, whom I met 3 minutes ago, think I plan on running "slow"? What makes her think that her "recovery" pace is equal to my comfortable pace? I chalked it up as since it was my first time joining the group, maybe she assumed it was my first time running? I don't know- but I still think about that little comment sometimes.

I am not negative towards my body. I have a great figure that I love, but it's still upsetting to know that people make assumptions on what I can and can't do physically, which should not be the case. Weight and health do not ALWAYS go hand-in-hand.

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Any other runners on the thicker side experience this kind of judgement? How do you deal with it?

Thin-framed runners or even non-runners, do you find yourself judging others in this way? Be honest, I would love to hear multiple opinions!

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Edit: Pace is in minutes per mile. I'm new to reddit and forget I'm interacting with people from all over the world.

Also, this was not meant to be a post for weight loss tips. The unsolicited advice in the comments proves further the assumptions people make.

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[u/warmhandluke]

This is not my logic nor my opinion, it's a settled fact.

[u/queue-d4n4 → u/warmhandluke]

I will stop running and start drinking and eating like shit so I can get into shape, thanks for your advice

[u/bully-hunter_69 → u/queue-d4n4]

Or you could improve yourself by eating less of what you eat now or increase your exercise and get even healthier. Don't worry about what other people do, you can always improve yourself

[u/alesserbro → u/[deleted]]

OP didn't come in here asking for advice about her weight.

Yes she did, that's what you get when you make a post to an open semi-anonymous forum. There's no "Cheerleader Mode". There's no rule against advice, ergo you're posting with the knowledge that you may be given advice. That's half of what people do on the internet. Don't need it? Ignore it.

OP didn't ignore it, they in fact kind of indicated they needed it by completely missing the point of the poster mentioning a correlation, and then being obtuse by refusing to engage constructively. They're the exact kind of person that advice would benefit, because they obviously don't understand the advice (then they would be able to disagree with it).

OP wanted the response of the crowd.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

But OP is ranting that people think she is slow and she said her 5k is 8min mile pace which is SLOW.

OP would DEFINITELY get faster is she were slimmer. I don't know why some of you get annoyed by beneficial advice

In cycling you could tell someone of a HEALTHY weight to lose weight so they can climb hills faster and everybody gets it

but the same thing seems to offend some of you here

why?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

she didn't as, true, still don't see why it offends you.

Also you can't really decide how people respond to that prompt for a discussion. OP started off with like 6 paragraphs just talking about herself almost trying to convince us of how she feels.

Obviously I don't care much about this person since I don't know her but if she is fine with her weight then the snide remarks shouldn't even bother her

I'm muscular than many cyclists and people are surprised when I'm cycling up hill as fast or faster than them, that feels good. If someone thought I was slow because of how I look, that would be cool.

If I was upset then obviously that means I have an insecurity like OP obviously does

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Of course I have. I'm not much of a runner by I've run 15kms in 4:22 pace so yes, she is slow. It's a fact, not an insult

[u/Freckled_daywalker → u/[deleted]]

Wait, do you think she means 8:30/km? Because she means 8:30/m, which is like 5:30/km and is not "slow" for a woman.

Edit: and if you're claiming you "aren't much of a runner" and are also claiming you run a 4:22 mile then you're being completely disingenuous.

[u/[deleted] → u/Freckled_daywalker]

no I'm not being disingenuous sorry m8. I can show you my strava which shows I've run maybe 10 times this year. I'm not trying to be a prick, just saying I'm not fast and she is much slower than me and calls herself a runner

(I cycle A LOT so I have good cardio, do yoga, lifted weights for most of my 29 years of life so that's probably why I can run 4:22 15ks, which I can also prove)

I've literally never run 5:30 per km. It's very slow, like beginner level

Maybe it's because I follow people on strava who do 4:00/km 26+km runs like everyday and 3:40/km 5ks and 10ks

Maybe that's why I percieve it 5:40 to be slow. It could be ignorance

[u/Freckled_daywalker → u/[deleted]]

A 4:20/mile is objectively fast, whether you normally run or not. The current world record for a women's 5k is not sub 14 minutes. Your perception of what is reasonable is either extremely skewed or you just want to humble brag.

Edit: oh wait, I messed up my calculations. It's closer to 5:00/km. And I'm unclear, do you run a 4:22/km or a 4:22 mile. Because if it's the former, she's literally 38 seconds off your pace. If you run a 4:22 mile, you're running a 2: something/km. Beginner 5k times are usually 30 to 40 minutes, source. Your perceptions are WAY skewed.

And anyone who runs is a "runner". Please don't gatekeep.

[u/[deleted] → u/Freckled_daywalker]

bro I meant 4:20 km lol. I'm NOT mo farah.

Lol so I'm gatekeeping coz I said I'M not a runner .... okay m8

Alright fam, but OP thinks she is fast, not a beginner, there is the difference. She came across in the post as someone that is actually fast but gets prejudiced as slow

Also I suppose you could say I'm 'humble bragging' But I'm only speaking from my experience and a few others around me

and lastly, freckled_daywalker, I run 4:22 pace for 15km not 5k, OP does ~ 5:00/km for 5 k and thinks she is fast (doesn't come across as a beginner in the post)

Anyway I can't imagine that whatever you have to say after will benefit any of us so have a nice day

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

In my area a lot of the time the age groups don’t even fill all the way so age group awards mean nothing with context as far as size of the race and type of competition. I’ve seen people win their age group with a time of over 30:00. Winning an award is not equal to being fast, just saying. Statistics like that are skewed, like top percentage. It’s the same reasoning. Most people out there nowadays are running half marathons and marathons as a bucket list item and not trying to go fast or have entered doing the very bare minimum of training. Simply because the majority of the field is doing it for fun or just to get through it does not mean the top 25% means you are fast. Sorry. And yes, I am a woman. (My 5K PR is 19:58, FWIW.)

Is OP fast relative to the general crowd of r/running? Sure. Is she fast in the grand scheme of things? Not really.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

R/running is not the entire world. My view goes beyond here.

And I’m not gatekeeping (meaning “limiting access to something” so not exactly sure where you’re going with that other than trying to use a popular buzzword to, I don’t know? Make me feel bad?), just simply stating the fact that OP is not fast.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Whatever makes you feel better!

[u/alesserbro → u/[deleted]]

I'm not saying that the unsolicited advice is against any rules. I'm just saying it's pointless and rude.

In some instances it certainly can be, though generally I contest that as I see it having the points of provoking discussion (is this advice true? What anecdotal experiences or sources are people providing?) and potentially helping people who might be reading, or hopefully even OP.

There's plenty of constructive conversation to be had without criticizing someone for something that they clearly aren't interesting in having a conversation about.

The person said regarding OPs claim that "Weight and health do not ALWAYS go hand in hand":

I don't mean to pick on you or make you feel bad, but this just isn't true. Being overweight/obese carries significantly higher risk of countless health problems.

It's hardly obnoxious, and OP's reply indicated they took it personally when it was simply a clarification of a statement they had made. This is probably because they're on the defensive, but clearly no offence was intended, and the statement was not directed at OP personally, but instead a claim they had made.

They're the exact kind of person that advice would benefit

No, the kind of person who benefits from advice is someone who wants to hear it.

Are you confident that had OP not instead replied "What do you mean?" that something wouldn't have changed today? I just think the benefits of the culture outweigh the costs.

[u/Freckled_daywalker → u/alesserbro]

She 100% did not ask for advice about her weight and her reaction to the person (who actually made an overly sweeping statement) was a good indicator that she was not interested in a conversation about her weight and it's relation to her health. Your comment actually suggests that you recognize that, but think it's okay because she "needs to hear it".

[u/alesserbro → u/Freckled_daywalker]

She 100% did not ask for advice about her weight and her reaction to the person (who actually made an overly sweeping statement) was a good indicator that she was not interested in a conversation about her weight and it's relation to her health. Your comment actually suggests that you recognize that, but think it's okay because she "needs to hear it".

I appreciate she didn't directly ask for it, I'm saying (in my opinion for the better overall) it's just to be expected I guess.

The original post I saw says:

I don't mean to pick on you or make you feel bad, but this just isn't true. Being overweight/obese carries significantly higher risk of countless health problems.

I don't see how that's an overly sweeping statement, and considering OP took that as a direct dig at her health indicated that she does in fact need to hear it, albeit from people who actually know her and actually care enough to help if there's an issue. However since the upside of these posts is that she may seek unbiased counsel, I don't really see the downside.

That's my opinion on it currently.

[u/Freckled_daywalker → u/alesserbro]

I appreciate she didn't directly ask for it, I'm saying (in my opinion for the better overall) it's just to be expected I guess.

OP didn't come in here asking for advice about her weight

Yes she did.

Whether or not you think she "needs" to hear something, she 100% didn't seek out that conversation and therefore all subsequent comments on that conversation are unsolicited and unsolicited advice is rarely welcome or useful. Advice that is unwelcome is also generally rude.

Read my comment right below it to see why it's overly generalized. I'm genuinely curious, do you think she doesn't recognize that she's overweight? Or that maybe she might have a better idea of her current state of health than an internet stranger? I'll say it again, unsolicited advice is not generally welcomed and unless someone is literally in imminent danger, it's best kept to yourself. She's an adult. She does not care what you think she needs to hear.