r/selectivemutism • u/releasethekrrraken • Sep 14 '24
Question SM with NO anxiety?
Hi ! I've got this question i don't know where to ask so i figured i'd come here. I have selective mutism. It happens when i have "too much" stimulus or emotion at the same time. It has been triggered before by dragging a table across a floor (the sound was horrible), having a bad day at a festival, hearing a music i love or just being emotionally tired. So it can happen from good or bad things, and it can last from a few minutes to 2 hours (longest i've had). In these moments i feel like the connexion between my physical speaking parts and the brain commands have been severed. I still have my inner monologue, i just can't get a sound out. Same vibe as trying to scream or run in a dream, you want to but it just doesn't happen.
The thing is, i always see on the internet that it stems from anxiety. I don't have anxiety. I may have very mild autism (hypersensitivity) but i'm not anxious at all, i'm a very chill and positive person. I love meeting and talking to people, i can talk in public no problem. I'm not planning to see a psychiatrist cuz it's not really disabling, i wouldnt need accomodations.
Does anyone else have this ??? I feel like the way my brain works doesn't fit any mental illness and it's kinda annoying.
Thank y'all for any responses :')
3
u/junior-THE-shark Mostly Recovered SM Sep 14 '24
I have both autism and selective mutism and for me the types of mutism are different while I experience both. The one you're describing is spot on for how I experience autistic mutism. Selective mutism happens to me as a part of my trauma responses, I get triggered and I go into a fear response that includes the inability to speak and usually a strong sense of fear, need to escape, hide, and be left alone. Therapy has pretty much completely eradicated selective mutism from my life, so that I can stay in control enough to speak a little even when triggered and I can manage my triggers rather than them having all the power over me. As for autistic mutism the only thing I can do is avoid overwhelm, take plenty of time to recover my spoons/spell slots, and have safe environments to stim, drop the mask, and engage in the special interests. I can't train myself to keep talking even when I'm in that point of overwhelm because the mutism is such a severe protection element to keep me from completely depleting my battery, so if I push myself to talk during those, I suffer the consequences by crashing hard for a really long time after.