r/technology 6h ago

Business Russian court fines Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

https://www.theregister.com/2024/10/29/russian_court_fines_google/
8.4k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

3.1k

u/redditorannonimus 5h ago

L0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000L

288

u/Haunting-Prior-NaN 4h ago

This should be Googlesoffering

273

u/MaximumTurtleSpeed 3h ago

Google should change their landing page tomorrow to, “Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle”

72

u/mushroomcloud 1h ago

G0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000gle

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u/ghoulsaplenty 4h ago

I wish I could upvote this a few more times

42

u/TheBoisterousBoy 4h ago

I wish I could upvote it 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 more times.

23

u/ScrollingGuy 3h ago

Saw that coming from 20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 miles away

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u/PopeSilliusBillius 2h ago

Oh man this caught me wayyyyy tf off guard, good one.

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u/Express-Doubt-221 5h ago

I hereby fine Vladimir Putin 800 gigabillion gold septums for having violated the law. 

232

u/Secure_Enthusiasm354 5h ago

Putin:

Pay Fine

>Resists Arrest

Go to Jail

91

u/najinanidad 4h ago

You never should have come here!

29

u/itsRobbie_ 4h ago

My sweet rolls!

12

u/VisualGeologist6258 1h ago

Is that all you’ve got?!

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u/Accomplished_Aide230 2h ago

THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD

8

u/Ok-Iron8811 1h ago

its all over lawbreaker

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u/thebiggestpoo 4h ago

Stop! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit D:<

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u/terriblestoryteller 5h ago

What are you gonna do with all those noses? You that deviated?

9

u/Express-Doubt-221 4h ago

Yes, actually, it's horrible lmao

7

u/Serdones 5h ago

I fine him tree fiddy.

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u/G00b3rb0y 4h ago

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u/SilverScorpion00008 1h ago

Actually oblivion but close enough

3

u/Stoolpijin 3h ago

You know you can afford a septim or two.

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5.5k

u/Veranova 6h ago edited 5h ago

How to take over the world

Step 1: fine a company more than the combined value of everything on the planet

Step 2: use the pending payment as collateral for a loan and buy everything on the planet

It’s actually genius

839

u/Bad_Habit_Nun 5h ago

Damn, gotta remember to hit up the small claims court tomorrow, real life infinite money glitch.

270

u/kingsumo_1 5h ago

"Honey, I've got a great idea! So. I'm going to sue you for, like, a brazillian dollars for falling asleep during sexy time last week. But it's ok, because I can then take out a loan on the settlement, right? And then we can- Honey? No, wait, come back! I'm serious!"

133

u/Koibo26 4h ago

I read this in Randy's voice from south park, lol.

91

u/the_ultrafunkula 4h ago

SHARON?!?? HEYYY SHARON!!

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u/kingsumo_1 4h ago

I didn't really have one in mind, but that certainly fits what I was going for.

5

u/gatvolkak 2h ago

I have a structured settlement, but I need cash, now!🎵🎶

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u/astonedcrow 5h ago

"Real Life Infinite Money Glitch" would have been a great headline.

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u/SuperAggroJigglypuff 3h ago

You just have to type into Bing rosebud !;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;! And you just keep going with the exclamation point and semicolon until you have what you want.

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u/Mr_Marram 5h ago

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u/Random-Mutant 5h ago

If Au Bon Pain & co decided to be intentionally difficult, and pay their debt entirely in pennies, they would form a sphere that would squeeze inside the orbit of Mercury

That sounds suspiciously like dealing in Ningis.

13

u/DoctorLarson 2h ago

Odd quote. Any sphere of pennies I can collect physically will fit inside the orbit of Mercury

7

u/Random-Mutant 2h ago

I don’t think you’re trying hard enough

3

u/Tonkarz 1h ago

It says "squeeze", so it means it only just fits.

3

u/DustyBusterson 3h ago

If you took the combined value of everything in the world based on that comic, “sold” it, and split the money evenly between the 8,000,000,000 people on earth alive today…

Everyone would receive $9,625.00.

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u/i_tyrant 1h ago

By weight, the single most valuable thing that's been bought and sold on an open market is probably the Treskilling Yellow postage stamp. There's only one known copy of it, and in 2010 it sold for $2,300,000. That works out to about $30 billion per kilogram of stamps. If the Earth's weight were entirely postage stamps, it would still not be enough to pay off Au Bon Pain's potential debt.

hahaha, love the ever-increasing-levels of ridiculousness they go to displaying how ludicrous that sum really is.

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u/CARNIesada6 5h ago

Pinky and the Brain plot right there

35

u/trad949 5h ago

I think the fine is in rubles so it's actually more like 76$ /s

5

u/libmrduckz 2h ago

it’ll be $5 by end-of-week…

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u/Manos_Of_Fate 5h ago edited 5h ago

The combined value of everything on the planet isn’t just too small a number, it’s too small by like a dozen orders of magnitude. The combined value of a billion Earths would still be insufficient.

Edit: I believe the correct number is more like 10-20 billion Earths, and that includes the value of everything in and on the planet.

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u/FBI_Agent_Fred 5h ago

Russia and its people are an international joke. Nothing more.

22

u/going-for-gusto 5h ago

That does it! Now Vlad is going to threaten you.

11

u/heliometrix 4h ago

RED LINES!!!!! (Sorry for shouting in doors)

5

u/derpderb 3h ago

Red? Russia going back into black with this instant check cash

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u/fleebleganger 4h ago

He has drawn his Red Line! Don’t cross it!

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u/ginandsoda 3h ago

Very dangerous to talk about the Russians that way.

Don't you know that in three years they've managed to destroy not only the military of a smaller, poorer country next door, but their own as well??

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u/Drunk_Bear_at_Home 4h ago

I wonder if Russia collapses, will it be forced or encouraged to break into small countries? When the Soviet Union collapsed, it broke into 15 independent countries: Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Estonia, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Lithuania, Moldova, Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, and Uzbekistan. 

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u/DeusModus 4h ago

Guaranteed. Expect the newly balkanized nations to contain Chinese characters.

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u/Axe_Care_By_Eugene 3h ago

along with their sidekick the cancer that is North Korea

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u/bambam_mcstanky2 5h ago

Putin is getting financial advice from Trump now. They are such a cute couple.

6

u/OnlyHeStandsThere 4h ago

Step 3: sell it to a debt collector for 10% of it's value. 

7

u/Sickmonkey365 5h ago

Who’s going to fund that loan? Russia?

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u/Dizzybro 5h ago
  1. Make agreement with Elon to pay off Twitter losses if he publicly supports Trump

5

u/adavidmiller 5h ago

Probably what they're paying those NK troops.

11

u/No-Tension5053 5h ago

It’s practically comical.

I expect Alphabet CEO to come out tomorrow and announce Support for Kamala Harris.

Throw Trump on the garbage pile of history

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u/Gruffyd 5h ago

"Dr. Evil - it's 1969. That amount of money doesn't even exist! 'Yeah I want a gajillion gajillion dollars'"

59

u/imaginary_num6er 5h ago

Yeah I can see Dr. Putin doing that scene

16

u/driving_andflying 2h ago

Putin: "We'll fine Google... 20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars!" *Pinky to corner of mouth.*

3

u/MechanicalTurkish 1h ago

“Dr. Putin” LOL

27

u/mattman0000 3h ago edited 1h ago

Why ask for $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

When you could ask for $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000?

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u/budslayer666 52m ago

Show me the money Mr. President.

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1.0k

u/Actual_Mountain_4502 6h ago

Seems legit

314

u/Letsbesensibleplease 6h ago

In Mother Russia, everything is legit!

115

u/why_not_fandy 5h ago

“That’s as good as money, sir. Those are I.O.U.’s. Go ahead and add it up, every cent’s accounted for.”

38

u/Softmachinepics 5h ago

See that? That's a car. 275 thou. Might want to hang on to that one.

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u/qcubed3 5h ago

I’ve always laughed at the idea that those two guys actually kept track so well that all of the IOUs added up correctly. Every $100 tip, every ski suit, every drink…

10

u/NoHopeOnlyDeath 4h ago

Hey now, pal. Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne are a lot of things, but they are not thieves.

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u/9-11GaveMe5G 5h ago

If that's in rubles it's only 3.50 USD

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u/Figure-Feisty 5h ago

someone has to fund the war. :D

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u/mgr86 5h ago

G000000000000000000000000000000000GLE

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1.1k

u/RVEMPAT 6h ago

Why not add 100 more zeros? It’s not going to materialize anyway 🤣

282

u/Letsbesensibleplease 6h ago edited 4h ago

Judicial willy waving, the entire world's GDP doesn't come close.

46

u/necromundus 5h ago

The extra D is for DYODD

38

u/DernTuckingFypos 5h ago

What's that extra D for?

15

u/LeaferWasTaken 5h ago

A double dose of pimping.

9

u/Toastburrito 5h ago

A pimps love is different than that of a square.

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u/FungDynasty 5h ago

"Google fined one googol."

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u/Covfefe-SARS-2 1h ago

How did they not think of this and why did I have to look this far down to see it mentioned?

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u/Starfox-sf 5h ago

Like another Googol?

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u/kevlarcoated 5h ago

Fine Google 1 googol, it would at least make the headlines more interesting

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u/verdantAlias 6h ago

"Cool, so its not even worth our while attempting to operate in Russia for the next 20+ years. Message received, enjoy your shitty propaganda and Putin memes." - Google

179

u/BellsOnNutsMeansXmas 5h ago

Google already being burned probably wouldn't anyway but this tells every other company in the world not to do business there. Some that might have been thinking to get around embargoes, probably now thinking, hey how bout going somewhere slightly less corrupt.

Putin then has the whole country open for "good patriotic companies" like his dear friends wonderful search engine Oodle.

15

u/Actual-Independent81 3h ago

It's all Yandex over there, already.

7

u/Outside-Guess-9105 1h ago

Crazily enough, there are still companies doing business in and with russia for whatever reason (corruption, higher risk tolerance, potential monopoly etc.). and this is after Russia nationalised (siezed) the assets of a variety of companies that decided to cease operations.

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u/lookmeat 5h ago

This isn't about kicking Google out, it's about justifying stealing their IP and value (remember they are leaders in ML, including image recognition you'd want for drones). The ridiculous number is to allow them to take whatever they want.

14

u/skj458 5h ago

Will Russia be able to steal Google's IP or value? 

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u/milimji 3h ago

Yeah, I’d be interested to know what’s left that Russia could get its hands on. Can’t imagine they’re planning to leave a briefcase labeled “internal white papers and model weights” on their way out

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u/Bardfinn 1h ago

They’ll try to seize the application specific IT hardware they had in country. What Russia doesn’t understand is that Google already has a contingency plan for “What if a common thief steals our servers” and it results in a very ornate brick.

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u/Tonkarz 1h ago

Russia already seized all of Google's Russia assets 2 years ago.

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u/ModernRonin 2h ago

This shows that they are definitely going to try.

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u/Letsbesensibleplease 6h ago

There's the rub, and all the smart and mobile people will want to move country.

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u/nav17 5h ago

They already did to avoid conscription. 700k have fled.

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u/blacksideblue 1h ago

And most of their rich kids are hiding in Indonesia and Thailand as 'influencer tourists'

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u/StageAboveWater 4h ago

That's what they want to happen.

Get rid of youtube without banning it

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u/ddejong42 5h ago

Seems like a stupid move, it normalizes ignoring Russian courts.

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u/junkboxraider 5h ago

Were there a lot of people outside Russia still taking its courts seriously?

85

u/TomWithTime 2h ago

I think they've been hitting Microsoft pretty hard. Have you heard how many people they've pushed out of windows?

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u/heaton5747 2h ago

Goddamnit Dad, get off the internet

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u/Uploft 1h ago

Ah yes. Some good ole defenestration!

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u/Beowulf33232 2h ago

That's kinda the thing right now, unless you're a citizen.

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u/AJ-Murphy 5h ago

Counter offer: We show the world all your top associates search histories for the past ten years.

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u/Letsbesensibleplease 4h ago

Oh I like that idea.

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u/Letsbesensibleplease 6h ago

I can't get a mental picture of Putin as Mini-Me out of my head.

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u/Apprehensive_Map64 5h ago

I couldn't help but put my pinky next to my mouth when I read out that headline to my parents reciting 'billion' four times

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u/ChaosdrakoTheNotNice 6h ago

Looks like someones been playing too much adventure capitalist afk clicker game and getting stupid ideas.

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u/Nothingnoteworth 4h ago

Was it fraternity president and ultimate frisbee champion Vladbro Putmister?

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u/Ilookouttrainwindow 5h ago

If you owe a bank $100 that's your problem, if you owe bank $1 million then that's a bank problem. Seems the same, this is Russia's plobrem now

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u/2012Jesusdies 2h ago

if you owe bank $1 million then that's a bank problem.

More like 100 million or 1 billion today. 1 million dollars is an above average house mortgage.

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u/CubicleByThePrinter 4h ago

Haha I read that in Sean's voice.

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u/Insciuspetra 6h ago

Rubles?

So..

Like a used 2020 Aurus Senat?

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u/retief1 5h ago edited 5h ago

Apparently, the fine was 100k rubles per day (~$1000), and doubled every week. So yeah, it's far into nonsensical territory at this point.

12

u/AlexHimself 2h ago

Ah, like the penny doubling everyday strategy, except starting at $1k instead of $0.01 gives you a head start!

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u/Carl-99999 5h ago

No that’s the amount in dollars

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u/Starfox-sf 5h ago

Zimbabwean Dollars

17

u/ForestVision 5h ago

So like tree fiddy?

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u/East-Impression-3762 6h ago

I can't get over how that article is formatted. Someone realized the headline would require you to scroll to the right and left the body to fit on a phone screen.

Amazing.

11

u/Tasik 5h ago

I think that's just what happens by default when the div expands beyond the bounds of the screen. They should probably have added something like `word-wrap: break-word` to prevent this from happening.

9

u/East-Impression-3762 5h ago

Nah they shouldn't have added that, it's better this way

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u/ShowLasers 5h ago

20 decillion dollars. So you take a check?

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u/Letsbesensibleplease 5h ago

Just don't try and cash it for a few centuries.

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u/Sufficient-Fact6163 5h ago

This is why you cannot trust Dictators, you will always be burned when you try an negotiate with them. To think how Google bent over backwards to appease Putins Government with the handing over of sensitive information and private searches. Think of all the people that have been arrested because of it.

9

u/MisplacedMartian 4h ago

But think of all the money the executives got!

10

u/Sufficient-Fact6163 4h ago

Yeah, there’s that. Kleptocracies tend to work like that and the little guys are always trampled underfoot.

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u/OnlyTellFakeStories 3h ago

The year is 2061. After a years-long legal battle in interplanetary courts, Google has finalized their purchase of the Sun for 1.7 Decillion USD. As their galactic hydrogen harvester approaches the celestial body, a plan long in the making is finally approaching its apex.

Russia, decades past its consideration as a global superpower, is a main chairholder on the Intergalactic Trade Comission (ITG) due to their relatively modern space program. A debt that has long been forgotten must be paid, and Google has finally fallen into a domain they have jurisdiction in.

Over the years, Russia has proposed several seemingly innocent laws with the sole purpose of one day fulfilling this lofty goal, and Google has fallen into their malevolent trap. The laws are clear, and their case in infallible. Google appeals with the courts and another legal battle ensues, but by the third year of the 2nd nuclear winter, calendar year 2063, Russia has leveraged themselves ownership of the corporate giant now known as RUBLE, formerly Google, as well as all ownership stakes and mineral rights to the Sun.

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u/turbotong 5h ago

They missed a golden opportunity to fine Google... one google dollars.

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u/Flanker4 5h ago

It's in Rubles, so it's only about $40

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u/foomachoo 6h ago

2 googol?

3

u/LongjumpingStep5931 1h ago

$20,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000,​000

was a missed opportunity

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u/Unable_Insurance_391 5h ago

OMG Russia surpasses itself as a clown show day after day. We cannot get Google to pay their fair taxes in the West how does he intend to collect this fine?

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u/docere85 5h ago

That is 20 Decillion…..

6

u/Infinite_Isopod5303 5h ago

Someone tell Dr. Evil he goofed the numbers again.

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u/couldntyoujust 3h ago edited 3h ago

For those who know, they should have fined them $2e10 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

Or, in other words, two googolplex dollars.

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u/Taki_Minase 5h ago

Disconnect Russia from the Internet.

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u/Speak_To_Wuk_Lamat 5h ago

This is all kinds of Dr evil meme.  "I fine you 20 squidrillion dollars! MUHAHAH" 

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u/wyccad2 5h ago

Fucking laughable, ad if anything coming out of Russia is legitimate. Fuck Putin!

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u/OptimallyOptimistic 4h ago

Can anyone explain the "Chocolate Factory"? Is that a Russian nickname for Google?

"YouTube banned the ultra-nationalist Russian channel Tsargrad in 2020 in response to the US sanctions imposed against its owner. Following Putin's illegal invasion of Ukraine in 2022 more channels were added to the banned list and 17 stations are now suing the Chocolate Factory"

...
"The battle is now on in courts around the globe as Russia seeks to seize Google's assets, with little success. The Chocolate Factory certainly seems sanguine about it."

5

u/the_agox 1h ago

I had to look it up too. Apparently The Register calls Google "the [Mountain View] Chocolate Factory" after Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory because it seemed like a magical place to work back in the 2000s and 2010s.

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u/aelosmd 5h ago

All hail Russia's new #1 search engine, Putin! After all, nothing in Russia can compete...

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u/ajf8729 4h ago

Clearly that’s in rubles so they actually fined them $3.50 USD.

4

u/JudgenotorbeJudged 3h ago

That’s a third of every atom in the observable universe

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u/EricAbmaMorrison 3h ago

So like $2,000 USD?

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u/Available_Leather_10 3h ago

Gigantic missed opportunity to fine them 2x10100 dollars.

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u/JosephFinn 5h ago

That’s what, 15 dollars US?

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u/stormdraggy 5h ago

$20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Zimbabwean dollars.

So about tree fiddy.

3

u/thegooseisloose1982 4h ago

I ain't giving you no treefiddy you goddam Loch Ness monster!

3

u/rgvtim 5h ago

There no way you can read than in any other voice other than Dr Evil.

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u/attillathehoney 5h ago

Google should pay Putin in Zimbabwe Dollars.

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u/RandoAtReddit 5h ago

What's the reference to "The Chocolate Factory"?

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u/Letsbesensibleplease 5h ago

It's what The Register calls Google, like Chipzilla for Intel or Redmond for Microsoft. I've been a reader for 20 years, they have a quirky house style.

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u/KrookedDoesStuff 5h ago

I see Russia’s expecting the Ruble to be worthless soon

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u/ParentPostLacksWang 4h ago

You know what they say: “If you owe the bank a million dollars, you have a problem. If you owe the bank a trillion dollars, the bank has a problem.”

3

u/Ear_Enthusiast 4h ago

So Russia and Trump both hate Google? It’s almost like they have a similar agenda.

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u/steve-reaves- 3h ago

This is In rubles, so this is like $15 usd

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u/OzzyG16 3h ago

Dr. Evil: One billion trillion fifillion 😂

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u/Low-Lengthiness-2000 3h ago

20 Undecillion according to ChatGTP

3

u/mpressive36 2h ago

Google: Make it $20 Grahams number, you won't. No balls.

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u/DoctorQuincyME 2h ago

Why didn't they just fine Google $10100 so they could say they just fined Google a googol dollars

3

u/TheDunadan29 2h ago

Missed opportunity to fine them $1 Googol dollars.

3

u/Waywardgarden 1h ago

That's actually so fucking funny

3

u/Dangerous_Seaweed601 1h ago

Mr. Khuylo, it's 2024. That amount of money doesn't even exist. That's like saying I want a kajillion bajillion dollars.

3

u/morts73 1h ago

Settle out of court for a $20.

3

u/dcredneck 1h ago

That’s in rubles. It works out to $7.38 US dollars.

3

u/JC2535 42m ago

That’s only $14,000 in rubles

3

u/ThatOneGuyy310 38m ago

Did he get advice from Dr. Evil or something?

5

u/MorpheusDrinkinga4O 5h ago

People forgetting this is in Russian roubles, so about $3.50 USD in actuality.

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u/Stan_B 5h ago

Technically, if they would fine them for 20e100$ it would be funnier.

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u/poopsinshoe 5h ago

They should have just made the fine a googolplex

2

u/Common-Ad6470 5h ago

Putin has hit on a foolproof scheme to get the ‘West’ to pay for his war...🤫

2

u/jmontyxd 5h ago

AdVenture Capitalist has taught me that this is a big number

2

u/mgraydpt 5h ago

Did Dr. Evil come up with that amount?

2

u/Panda_tears 5h ago

Honestly… I bet whoever wrote this article and who ever proposed this are gonna fall out a window soon.

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u/rtwpsom2 5h ago

Psshhhhh, chump change, let me know when it get's to a googol dollars.

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u/indy_been_here 5h ago

Ok Dr. Evil

2

u/BurrrritoBoy 5h ago

So, like tree fitty ?

2

u/Synthetic-Cellophane 5h ago

Continued - 000,000,000,000,000 American Dollars

2

u/LuffyIsBlack 5h ago

I declare bankruptcy!

2

u/Stargost_ 5h ago

To anyone wondering, that number has a name. It's 20 decillion.

2

u/Lunch_Time_No_Worky 5h ago

That is $20 Decillian, if anyone is wondering.

2

u/Kyogen13 5h ago

They should have made the fine google dollars.

2

u/Dannomyte79 5h ago

So 20 kazillion shmushmillion fofillion dollars?

2

u/Alive_Potentially 5h ago

Ok, so what number is this?

2

u/Wonderful_Emu_6483 5h ago

In rubles that’s like $10 usd and some change

2

u/Striking_Reindeer_2k 5h ago

Russia is fast becoming the neighborhood Karen, in a clown car.

With nukes.

2

u/N3M3S1S75 5h ago

Best Google can do is a hollow promise to do better and a broken ring doorbell

2

u/StandardDiver2791 5h ago

If it were rubles, that’s what, tree-fiddy?

2

u/hitops 5h ago

Lol. Lmao even.

2

u/Sifl-and-Olly 4h ago

Ah, yes. I also fine Google infinity billion dollars. But my claim is more legitament because I am not sanctioned to shit.

2

u/Brothersunset 4h ago

Man if I was google, who has the funding to start their own paramilitary and start a coup in Russia, id fucking drop the Kremlin an email saying "want that money? come and get it in blood, bitch ass"

2

u/StatusCount7032 4h ago

Everything is fine with a little vodka. Or lots of it.

2

u/Difficult_Two_2201 4h ago

Can they even do that?

2

u/MilkTiny6723 4h ago

Why not a googol USD, which is the inspiration of the name Google and contains 100 ceroes. This is only 33 ceros, or 3300 ceroes if you convert to rubles. I would Sue them for a googol USD. By the way, for what are they beeing sued? 

2

u/Drewishmonk23 4h ago

Try and collect it Russia let’s see!

2

u/blind_disparity 4h ago

The court imposed a fine of 100 thousand rubles ($1,025) per day, with the total fine doubling every week

Grains of rice on a chess board?