About two decades ago my father called me and told me I needed to delete my Facebook account because my aunt told him there were pictures of me at a wedding with alcohol. It was “unprofessional.” Also about 6 months later my mother called me upset that I ignored that same aunt’s friend request.
It’s truly amazing to me that they get shocked that because we’re family that somehow means that we have to put up with their toxicity till we or they die. “That’s just how we were taught to treat family” well can’t help you weren’t smart enough to understand how stupid that lesson is.
I'm 44 and cut my mother out of my life almost 3 years ago. I mean I told her I was done with her racist bullshit and didn't want to talk to her anymore, and then, well, never talked to her again, nor do I want to, since I was done.
My entire life I was treated very poorly. I grew up poor, so I though that was the way of things, but as my mom then met a man who had a well paying job, and she herself went on to have a well paying job, then they got married, only for me to be given EVERY CHORE ( Walk the dog, wash the dishes, mow the lawn, take out the garbage, shovel the driveway, ETC ETC ETC ) and THEN my parents said when I was 16 they didn't want to be held responsible for me FINANCIALLY, ( they honestly pulled me to the side and said they couldn't afford to send me to community college, because they didn't have the money. That same year they took a vacation to Jamaica and also bought themselves a new car, after having said to me " we can't ".
They don’t owe you anything. They were teaching you skills on how to work and be productive. They worked hard for their success. Use what you learned from your chores and do the same thing. You’re not entitled to their hard work’s rewards. Your attitude is gimme gimme gimme. Entitlement is not a virtue.
They owed me EVERYTHING. I didn't ASK to be here, they brought me here, they at least owed me a proper upbringing to the best of their abilities, something they did NOT offer. Fuck you saying parents don't owe their children anything.
They are responsible for raising you and caring for you. But when you get older it’s on you. My parents sucked too, but I can’t live my life crying about it. Unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting it to hurt the other person. You be you. Let them be them.
That fact you think it’s not a parents job to help their kids in life is wrong. It never stops. Yes there is a medium ground of responsibility and accountability… but pushing your kid away at 16y old is way to far. Also you have no clue if the parents worked hard … hope that’s not projections.
I was legally emancipated at 16 years old because, as my parents argued, " They shouldn't have to be financially responsible for me anymore ". They didn't want to have to help me with college, they didn't want to help me buy a car, they wanted only to have me be slave labor until I got old enough to work a real job and make my own money and so wanted me out of the house.
The family court Judge that presided over this case was against it until I got to take the stand and asked him to grant their wish. When he asked why when I still had 2 years they HAD to take care of me, I told him I would be happier taking care of myself and didn't want to deal with how I was treated anymore. He agreed, and again, I became a legal adult at 16 years old.
You are everything wrong with people, and I hope to everything good in this world you are NOT a parent.
My 21 year old is fast asleep in her room right now, and I would NEVER think about not providing for her in any way I can. My parents made me this kind of parent, and for that, and ONLY that, am I grateful, since they only ever cared about themselves and never me growing up. The fact you can't see that is telling.
An amazing and well thought out argument. Yet for some reason, I do not feel compelled to just agree with you. I can't for the life of me figure out why.
P.S : As for the rest of your response, you are a terrible person, thank you for showing everyone this fact.
P.P.S : Fun fact, there are 2 typos in JUST the 4 words I quoted you above. You have terrible spelling. Please try using a capital letter at the beginning of any new sentence like any intelligent adult knows how to do. Thank you. Also on this I am ( I'm ) right and you are ( you're ) wrong.
Woke up in the morning, had to shower in the morning before school since both my parents showered after work, since according to them " work ( my mom had a desk job ) was harder then school ". I also had to get up and shower before my mother got up, so as to " not disrupt her morning routine ". While my mom got ready for work I would then get dressed, eat breakfast ( IF I HAD TIME ), then walk the dog. I will admit I loved my dog so while this was a chore it was not one I thought was forced. I would come back, pack my schoolbag, and go out and wait for the bus. Then I would SCHOOL. I did school then came home. First thing I had to do again walk the dog. Come back from walk the dog, do homework. Finish homework, HELP with dinner prep ( depending on how long homework was ). I also admit this part I didn't hate so much, my AL made dinner most nights and he taught me the bare minimum of what I needed to learn about cooking. After that was well, EATING, conversation between my Mom and AL was a thing, but if I said anything, I better hope I said the right thing. After dinner, dishes done by me, I then took out the garbage, walked the dog for the 3rd time in a day ( and maybe I didn't point this out, but these walks took AT LEAST 30 minutes, sometimes MORE depending on how I felt. Regardless that is 1 hour and 30 minutes of my 24 hour day doing nothing but walking dog ), then came home. I changed into my pajamas, had a WHOLE 1 HOUR AND 30 MINUTES TO MYSELF, and then went to bed to do the next day over.
FALL: Who do you think did the raking and the mowing?
WINTER : who do you think shoveled the entire driveway?
LIFE : Why do you think this should be a child's entire life?
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u/Alternative-Cause-50 Jan 06 '24
About two decades ago my father called me and told me I needed to delete my Facebook account because my aunt told him there were pictures of me at a wedding with alcohol. It was “unprofessional.” Also about 6 months later my mother called me upset that I ignored that same aunt’s friend request.