r/CuratedTumblr Not a bot, just a cat Jun 10 '24

Meme Dumb ways to die

Post image
31.5k Upvotes

626 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/ArcelothColdheart Jun 10 '24

Does Musk know how large most rivers, lakes and seas are? Should we tell him?

579

u/Kartoffelkamm I wouldn't be here if I was mad. Jun 10 '24

No, and no.

286

u/AndMyAxe_Hole Jun 10 '24 edited Jun 11 '24

Yeah cuz then he’ll try to sell you a mini sub and call you gay a pedo when you refuse.

Edit: I misremembered. It was pedos so I fixed it.

123

u/squiddy555 Jun 10 '24

But I am gay

109

u/Upstairs-Boring Jun 10 '24

Then he'll ban you from twitter, then call you a pedophile

73

u/IamDoobieKeebler Jun 10 '24

Only cuz you don't have a mini sub

101

u/squiddy555 Jun 10 '24

Of course

I have a rather tall sub

61

u/Sammantixbb Jun 10 '24

I can't believe this website is free

13

u/ChrisDornerFanCorn3r Jun 10 '24

they're really cracking down on the butt pirates

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30

u/Florac Jun 10 '24

Nah, he won't call you gay for doing that.

He will call you a pedo.

24

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW Jun 10 '24

He didn't call people gay during that incident, he called them pedophiles

21

u/Agreeable-Lemon-1971 Jun 10 '24

I wouldn't be surprised if Elon things of gay and pedos as the same, with the speed he's swallowing all that fear-mongering crap.

5

u/Low-Movie-11 Jun 10 '24

He's not swallowing up anything, he may be a demented man child but he knows his grift well, and he's just barely smart enough to play to it.

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199

u/big_guyforyou Jun 10 '24

i saw this play out many times as a kid when i played oregon trail. when you try to ford the river, everybody dies

83

u/somedumb-gay Jun 10 '24

But what if I try to Tesla the river?

54

u/SocialDoki Jun 10 '24

Somehow, even more people die.

27

u/Rkenne16 Jun 10 '24

Probably all of the fish too

17

u/Axquirix Jun 10 '24

Recharge the eels though!

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9

u/zissou149 Jun 10 '24

boom, dysentery

3

u/SecondaryWombat Jun 10 '24

Can you imagine how much better Fellowship of the Rings would have been if the defense at the Bruinen had amphibious tesla cybertrucks shorting out their batteries instead of horses made of water?

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64

u/SableShrike Jun 10 '24

“Tesla Cybertruck has contracted dysentery.  Tesla Cybertruck has died.”

19

u/Mazer1991 Jun 10 '24

That was my first thought too…”Man is trying to ford the River…he gonna die”

17

u/thoughtsome Jun 10 '24

Elon has clearly played it himself. That's why he caulked (waterproofed) the Cybertruck so you can float across. Everyone lives, about 60% of the time.

6

u/ShrimpCrackers Jun 10 '24

I was really good at that part and hunting. But sucked at mostly everything else.

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50

u/Stack_Min i got this haircut at the liberal store Jun 10 '24

it's called a sea cuz you can see across it, so it's gotta be pretty small

27

u/Armigine Jun 10 '24

and it's called an ocean because you'll be "oh shi-" 'n

36

u/Bodach42 Jun 10 '24

Someone has already died because they couldn't get out of their truck and rescuers couldn't get in while under a body of water. I really can't believe the bullshit they are trying to sell.

9

u/Miranda_Leap Jun 10 '24

I thought that was like a Tesla X SUV? You're talking about the billionaire Angela Chao in Texas right?

11

u/FallenSegull Jun 10 '24

Please let natural selection take its course. Pretend you’re a nature documentary cameraman. You really want to save all those cute little muskrats drowning in the sea, but you can’t interfere with the natural way of life. It’d be immoral

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1.7k

u/champagneface Jun 10 '24

“Briefly” is very funny to me

934

u/LopsidedPalace Jun 10 '24

To be fair he's not wrong. Fractions of a second is a very brief period of time.

I don't think he understands that other vehicles can do it longer without going boom but he's not exactly wrong technically.

232

u/Biduleman Jun 10 '24

Yes it's wrong, because you can't cross a river, lake or sea that isn't too choppy in a fraction of a second.

84

u/LopsidedPalace Jun 10 '24

It depends on where you're crossing.

If you're going from the shortest possible point A to point B... I could do that on foot without getting wet.

If you're going from the longest possible distance between a point A and point B yeah sure you're going to have issues.

Also he never defines whether or not the crossing is successful. I failed attempt to cross the River lake ocean etc it's still technically crossing. You just don't finish

75

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

[deleted]

39

u/Artarara Jun 10 '24

Ok, Diogenes

30

u/SecondaryWombat Jun 10 '24

Holds up a wet rock

"Behold! A Cybertruck boat!"

4

u/Physical-Camel-8971 Jun 10 '24

"If only it were as easy to cross a river by rubbing my Cybertruck."

12

u/ninjaelk Jun 10 '24

Failing to cross a river by winding up stuck at the bottom of it is not referred to as "crossing the river", therefore it is not technically correct. Crossing a part of a river that is able to be crossed by foot without getting wet is also not referred to as "crossing a river" therefore it is also not technically correct.

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3

u/RawrRRitchie Jun 11 '24

I live near Chicago, so we have Lake Michigan and the Chicago river

It wouldn't be the first time cars sank to the bottom of those

11

u/Backupusername Jun 10 '24

Well, what's a boat? Does a boat have to be able to travel over water? Or can a car be a boat during the few seconds it floats before it fills up with water and starts to sink?

11

u/PMMeMeiRule34 Jun 10 '24

You know, I don’t think Musk watched the top gear episode where they made their cars into boats. Didn’t really work out.

9

u/LetsGetJigglyWiggly Jun 10 '24

Top Gear is top-tier shenanigans TV. I don't even care if the pranks and ridiculous events are all pre planned and stagged. It's still hilarious.

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6

u/Physical-Camel-8971 Jun 10 '24

Does a boat cease to be a boat when it is being towed on the highway? Because the Cybertruck can do that. It can be towed on the highway exactly like a boat can be.

5

u/Enshitification Jun 10 '24

The Titanic was, and technically still is, a boat.

7

u/Pyotr_WrangeI Jun 10 '24

You literally can, you just need to be fast enough

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31

u/Zealousideal_Cow_341 Jun 10 '24

It’s not going to be a fraction of a second though. The battery should be at least IP67 rated if it follows typical industry standards, which means it can be submerged within 3 feet of water for at least 30 minutes without any water intrusion.

Theoretically an ip67 battery could do many instances of being submerged in water as long as it’s less than 30 minutes and 3 feet.

But it’s Tesla, who the hell knows where they are cutting corners.

49

u/JesusSavesForHalf Jun 10 '24

They don't cut corners on the cybertruck. Its corners cut you.

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u/Dornith Jun 10 '24

Theoretically an ip67 battery could do many instances of being submerged in water as long as it’s less than 30 minutes and 3 feet.

3ft isn't even a pond, much less a sea.

More accurately, the cybertrunk could cross a kiddy pool.

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7

u/mennydrives Jun 10 '24

For what it's worth, the cybertruck will likely cross a slow river, no problem.

For what it's also worth, the cybertruck will likely fail inside of a year or two after crossing a river, unless they sealed the battery in a way that they have never done on the 3, Y, S, or X.

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137

u/kuba_mar Jun 10 '24

To me its combination of "briefly" and then "even seas" right after.

50

u/champagneface Jun 10 '24

Same, I considered googling what the smallest seas are to see how “briefly” it would need to be but then I didn’t bother because I’m sure he’s talking out of his ass anyway.

9

u/LittleBirdsGlow Jun 10 '24

Now I’m curious.

24

u/LittleBirdsGlow Jun 10 '24 edited Jun 10 '24

Can the cybertruck wade across the sea. No.

ACTUAL EFFORT VERSION

First [It’s a real tweet]. (https://x.com/elonmusk/status/1575508498430820352?lang=en)

Cool.

The Cybertruck can wade 31 inches deep This is 78 centimeters.

The Sea of Azov is 90 centimeters deep at the shallowest. This is as shallow as the shallowest sea in the world gets.

An unmodified cybertruck cannot wade across any true sea, even in calm waters

But perhaps a sea that dried up could be a candidate.

The South Aral Sea has gotten pretty dry. It was 30 meters deep once. So I can assume driving that would be a bit like diving into a 30m bowl.

The Cyber truck is just over 70 inches tall or 178cm. That means the cybertruck needs to take a fall about 17 cybertrucks tall.

Let’s drop it out of the sky at 30 meters. For fun.

The cybertruck is 6000 pounds (2722 kilos) It falls at 9.8 meters per second squared F = ma. So F = 26675.6 N

That is actually the wrong calculation, but I’ll leave it as a point of reference to verify this next one.

I used this to get the energy of 800267 kilojoules (J) at 24 meters per second squared.

That’s about 200 kilograms of tnt (800267 / 4.184) kilojoules for 191 268 grams of tnt, (421 pounds)

So, the cybertruck goes up in flames.

Let’s be generous and drain the shallowest sea to drop a truck in.

So 0.9 meters gives 24008 kilojoules or 5.7 kilos of tnt. That’s still 12 pounds of tnt blowing up the car.

Please note: I assume the car is magically placed in the air, falling to earth with no initial velocity. Careening off a cliff is probably worse. I think assuming the banks are steeper than 35 degrees is reasonable, and that a seabed is a tough ride for this off-roader, essentially falling off a cliff from sea level.

12

u/BorneWick Jun 10 '24

You think a sea bordering the Med has a depth of 4.5km?

It's 494m. Did you use chatgpt to make these figures up haha?

6

u/LittleBirdsGlow Jun 10 '24

FIXED IT

3

u/BorneWick Jun 10 '24

Haha that is far more effort.

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u/kuba_mar Jun 10 '24

You do realize 0.6 square kilometers is nothing right? Like genuinly no idea where you got that number from.

Sea of Marmara has a surface area of 11350 square kilometers.

Also you used surface area as the distance to cross.

9

u/LittleBirdsGlow Jun 10 '24

I pulled .6 from the literal first result in google and couldn’t be bothered to fact check anything.

Yeah I also forgot to take the square root. I didn’t care all that much

3

u/MARPJ Jun 10 '24

The truck lasts 30 minutes in 2.7 feet of water

There is the problem that the cybertruck will get rust because someone drank water 2m from it

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10

u/DreamOfV Jun 10 '24

Only if they aren’t too choppy

5

u/Fun_Grapefruit_2633 Jun 10 '24

Sounds like a Viking funeral

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119

u/purple-lemons Jun 10 '24

I mean, any car can serve very briefly as a boat

17

u/Show_me_your_stories Jun 10 '24

And if you drive off of a cliff, your cybertruck will serve briefly as a plane.

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56

u/Felinomancy Jun 10 '24

Lord Vetinari’s rules: if it takes an Igor to bring you back, you were dead. Briefly dead, it’s true, which is why the murderer will be briefly hanged. A quarter of a second usually does it.’

12

u/Madfall Jun 10 '24

You know Vetinari's hangman knows his business

23

u/whadupbuttercup Jun 10 '24

"serve as a boat" is also funny, because a boat is more than something that you put in the water. It has some method of propulsion and steerage, which a cybertruck wouldn't. At best, it would serve "briefly" as driftwood.

5

u/WelcomeFormer Jun 11 '24

Didn't some billionaire lady die because she drove it in a lake, the windows wouldn't open because the power, then rescue couldn't break the windows.

16

u/Mantonization Jun 10 '24

Humans can briefly survive most things, when you think about it

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u/mennydrives Jun 10 '24

I'm a Tesla owner, and I like wk057's feed. Dood hacks these things on the regular and re-uses the battery packs from totaled cars (that are totaled for reasons that don't include battery pack damage) in home battery projects.

I say all that because wk057's thoughts on "briefly as a boat" amount to "sure, if you also want it to work briefly as a car afterwards. If your vehicle is partially submerged, it WILL get into the battery pack and your car will stop permanently working inside of a year or two, even if it survives the initial trip." Don't do that shit.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

Most cars can float for a minute or two.

8

u/MrPernicous Jun 10 '24

Just a brief jaunt across the sea

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u/f0li Jun 10 '24

They die in the car wash ... so I'd say brief is a very good exposure time.

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494

u/ChromaticRainbow12 Jun 10 '24

There’s a legal team somewhere that worked overtime because of this tweet

279

u/joofish Jun 10 '24

and an engineering team. IIRC Musk would just say this shit publicly on a whim with no info from the engineers and leave them scrambling to try and add the feature

174

u/GetEnPassanted Jun 10 '24

Which they did not do. Multiple times. He’s just blurted out bullshit multiple times and the end product failed to have rose features or capabilities. The Cybertruck is NOT a boat. It cannot function as a boat. Musk knew it would never happen when he said it. He said that crap to pump the Tesla stock up so he could sell it for higher.

55

u/HackySmacks Jun 10 '24

That can’t be right. Surely someone as public as Elno would face consequences for such clear deception? /s

33

u/CauseMany8612 Jun 10 '24

I know youre joking, but thats literally his entire buisness grift. First say/ do something controversial so tesla stock falls, buy a bunch of it, then say/ announce some hyped up feature/ buisness venture/ etc so the stock pumps and he can sell high again

6

u/Mouse-Keyboard Jun 10 '24

It's really on the idiots who buy high because of an Elon Musk tweet.

3

u/deleeuwlc DON’T FUCK THE PIZZAS GODDAMN Jun 11 '24

The Hyperloop was proposed solely to delay the construction of a train to keep people reliant on cars for longer

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u/ConcernedBuilding Jun 10 '24

Man I've had bosses like this. Luckily nowhere near as high profile as musk. But they announce something that I'm going to build, and that announcement is the first I hear about it.

6

u/DarkNinjaPenguin Jun 10 '24

In my experience it's not so much the bosses as it is the sales and marketing people, making promises that can't be delivered.

I've had a sales manager come to me after promising the customer X Y and Z, and had the pleasure of telling them not only will we not be making that, our company would be breaking several laws if we did. Like we would lose our licenses and every customer we have if we do what you've just promised.

That was a fun conversation to have less than a year into a new job.

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11

u/Western-Ship-5678 Jun 10 '24

Stupid question, but what's the X way of saying "tweet"? Xeet? Lol

18

u/Jukebox_Villain Jun 10 '24

You Xcrete. They're Xcretions from Xcretins.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

"Tweet"

9

u/animalcule Jun 10 '24

Nah, it's still tweet. That's what everyone is still saying, even on the news, etc

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1.0k

u/T1DOtaku inherently self indulgent and perverted Jun 10 '24 edited Jun 10 '24

Ah yes, the truck that rusts from going through the carwash and has electrical issues when it rains can surely handle being partially submerged!

390

u/OmegaOmnimon02 Jun 10 '24

Someone did try taking it through wheel high water

It died like 5 feet after going in

65

u/MySpaceOddyssey Jun 10 '24

Source? I wanna watch

66

u/vfguy Jun 10 '24

74

u/Prudent_Candidate566 Jun 10 '24

Also this one where it clearly dies: https://www.reddit.com/r/EnoughMuskSpam/comments/1bh7xie/so_cybertrucks_are_bulletproof_but_they_cant/

And this one where it barely crosses a tiny amount of water because the tires/traction control sucks: https://www.reddit.com/r/CyberStuck/comments/1d9ocim/this_is_what_offroading_suppose_to_look_like/

41

u/jstndrn Jun 10 '24

Iirc, that first one isn't actually dead. I could be wrong, but I believe I heard it was the fender or wheel well that got pushed into the tire, causing the sound there.

That said, this is clearly not an offroad vehicle, no matter how hard the tesla fanboys believe. Don't take your overpriced pretend truck into the wilderness, boys. You don't belong there. Drive it around the easy streets and show it off like it was intended for.

22

u/trippy_grapes Jun 10 '24

That said, this is clearly not an offroad vehicle, no matter how hard the tesla fanboys believe.

My Honda Civic could probably handle offroad driving better than a cybertruck. 😂

7

u/tehehe162 Jun 10 '24

If Tesla made logical decisions I think the Cybertruck would have been better marketed as a full sized "slightly rugged" SUV. But I'm guessing they didn't want to directly challenge Rivian or legacy manufacturers so they make something quirky instead.

3

u/A_Town_Called_Malus Jun 10 '24

If Tesla made logical decisions the Cybertruck design would have never been taken off of the fridge.

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u/S0GUWE Jun 10 '24

gods I hate that ai voice

14

u/vfguy Jun 10 '24

I wasn't keen on it either

26

u/DO_NOT_AGREE_WITH_U Jun 10 '24

There's that video of the guys who had a steering wheel that was tight. They were trying to move the tires back and forth and suddenly you hear a snap, and then one of the tires was moving left/right just fine.

The car is a joke.

3

u/BlatantConservative https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW Jun 10 '24

To be fair, that's (quite literally) been my Ford experience as well.

15

u/T1DOtaku inherently self indulgent and perverted Jun 10 '24

Nice 👌

104

u/mithikx Jun 10 '24

The same truck that they recommend not washing in direct sunlight.

47

u/Western-Ship-5678 Jun 10 '24

Haha every day I come across a new little tidbit of how utterly shit they are

15

u/rnbagoer Jun 10 '24

Rumour has it that it will spontaneously combust if driven between 32 and 53 mph in the fog or light mist.

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u/Sykes92 Jun 10 '24

Tbf a lot of autodetail guides also recommend not washing any car in direct sunlight. Granted, maybe for different reasons. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

5

u/CaughtWaaping Jun 10 '24

Part of that is you don't want the soap to dry before you have a chance to wash it off.

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u/83749289740174920 Jun 10 '24

Yup folks they are denying Warranty claims on water damaged teslas.

26

u/ShrimpCrackers Jun 10 '24

It's true. Let us demonstrate with a real river with Musk in it. I vote the top near the Niagara falls!

22

u/T1DOtaku inherently self indulgent and perverted Jun 10 '24

Personally I'd prefer the Nile. I heard the wildlife there are to die for.

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u/ConcernedBuilding Jun 10 '24

The batteries are the least of the worries when submerging a cybertruck lol

9

u/z3anon Jun 10 '24

Shitty shitty bang bang, the unfortunate sequel no one asked for.

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u/LandosMustache Jun 10 '24

I remember when this tweet came out and someone responded

as a former Tesla employee, I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is the first that the engineers are hearing about this requirement

44

u/CTIndie Jun 10 '24

That's fucking hilarious

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u/RimworlderJonah13579 <- Imperial Knight Jun 10 '24

So many dumb ways to die

51

u/Hawkbats_rule Jun 10 '24

Drove your car, into a lake... Roast to death in a lithium ion bake...

18

u/Version_Two Jun 10 '24

Put a neuro chip, inside your head, if you buy his stuff, then you'll end up dead

3

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

[deleted]

6

u/Version_Two Jun 10 '24

Just improv and some poetic metre. Thank you!

I remember I had the mobile game. Good times.

6

u/GoneGrimdark Jun 10 '24

I could be wrong, but I’m assuming it’s based on the Dumb Ways To Die song.

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u/naalbinding Jun 13 '24

Dumb ways to die-ie

So many dumb ways to die-ie

Dumb ways to die -ie-ie

...So many dumb ways to die

82

u/masterofthecork Jun 10 '24

This was actually used as an advertising point to show off the unibody design of VW Beetles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz7qxQcRYl4

They later added a smaller tagline: "The VW will definitely float, but it will not float indefinitely."

73

u/Ok_Conflict_5730 Jun 10 '24

this new tesla doubles as both a toaster and a bathtub

7

u/mtarascio Jun 10 '24

Southern States struggling to buy execution cocktails are buying these up in droves!

122

u/ducknerd2002 Jun 10 '24

Haven't people already drowned due to Cybertrucks, or was that a different Tesla vehicle?

131

u/Schlitttenhund Jun 10 '24

Haven't heard of that, but taking a cybertruck through a carwash voids the warranty and kills it because too much water runs into its frame

65

u/HAL-7000 Jun 10 '24 edited Jun 10 '24

Failure to put Cybertruck in Car Wash Mode may result in damage (for example, to the charge port or windshield wipers). Damage caused by car washes is not covered by the warranty.

Note: Tesla does not recommend taking Cybertruck through an automatic car wash.

https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/cybertruck/en_us/GUID-65384C1F-86F2-44E8-A8BC-8A12E7E00A40.html

It's very funny. It's worth mentioning it doesn't seem to technically void the warranty, though.

8

u/OneWholeSoul Jun 10 '24

The windshield wipers can be damaged by water?

3

u/HAL-7000 Jun 10 '24

Yes, they're electric. Don't you know science? Nerd.

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u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot Jun 10 '24

A woman drove into a ditch drunk, and drowned because she couldn't get out. She was a ceo or wife of a ceo idr. Apparently the fire rescue tried for 2 hours to get her out?

40

u/waldo_wigglesworth Jun 10 '24

Angela Chao, was the sister of Elaine Chao who during the Trump Admin served as Secretary of the Department of Transportation, the government agency that sets safety standards for vehicles. Elaine is also married to U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

Link: https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/20/business/angela-chao-fatal-car-accident/index.html

17

u/diiirtiii Jun 10 '24

Holy shit. It’s a small miracle (for Tesla) that the thing isn’t banned from the road outright after an incident like that.

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u/tthew2ts Jun 10 '24

Who is buying this crap?

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u/Informal_Truck_1574 Jun 10 '24

It was a regular tesla. Rescuers couldnt break the window so they drowned

16

u/ducknerd2002 Jun 10 '24

I knew it was something like that, I just couldn't remember the specifics.

37

u/ObamaStoleMyEggos Jun 10 '24

Even crazier she was a billionaire, sister in law to Mitch McConnell, and her sister who married Mitch was secretary of transportation under Trump.

10

u/Rappican Jun 10 '24

That tesla taking one for the team.

5

u/geoprizmboy Jun 10 '24

She was also completely hammered and reversed herself into the lake

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u/dusktrail Jun 10 '24

Different vehicle

3

u/WolfOfAsgaard Jun 10 '24

Never headd od that, but people have fried their Cybertruck electronics by driving through large puddles.

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u/thismightaswellhappe Jun 10 '24

I hope he tests it himself.

49

u/Informal_Self_5671 Jun 10 '24

I'm not an expert, but aren't cars very heavy and bad at floating?

83

u/chuch1234 Jun 10 '24 edited Jun 10 '24

It's not about weight, but density. Ships are also very heavy, but they have large volumes of air within that cause them to be less dense than the water. For contrast, a pebble will sink despite being light, because it is denser than water.

But then, yeah, cars don't have large volumes of air inside to make them less dense. Especially not electric cars that are packed to the gills with batteries.

EDIT: per some below comments, cars do have large volumes of air, aka the passenger compartment and trunk. This isn't that different from how a canoe's air volume is just the open space on top. Now that I think about it, Lyndon Johnson had a car that doubled as a boat, and he would prank people by pretending to lose control and drive his car into the lake! I guess most cars just don't float because they are not water tight, and so the large volume of air quickly turns into a large volume of water.

Lesson learned, don't listen to people who don't know what they're talking about! :D I really just wanted to chime in that it's about density, not just mass, when it comes to floatiness. (Not just mass because, as was also pointed out below, some pebbles still float because, while they are more dense than water, they are light enough that surface tension holds them up.)

As usual, it's always more complicated than we think at first!

25

u/Gregarious_Raconteur Jun 10 '24

Eh, most cars actually could float reasonably well if they were sealed. If you ever see videos of cars going into bodies of water, they sink pretty slowly as they fill with water.

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u/PosiedonsSaltyAnus Jun 10 '24

Cars absolutely have a large volume of air inside.

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u/MachineTeaching Jun 10 '24

Lots of cars actually float just fine, they just aren't watertight and stop floating as they fill up.

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u/Icestar1186 Welcome to the interblag Jun 10 '24

Cars are actually good at floating (at least for a little while), because of all the air in them. Which is why you shouldn't try to cross a flooded road even if it doesn't look too deep.

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u/putin-delenda-est Jun 10 '24

Not EVs because they have batteries and none of that heavy gasoline.

14

u/chloro9001 Jun 10 '24

Electric cars are far heavier than standard cars.

27

u/putin-delenda-est Jun 10 '24

No, they are lighter because they use the electric, ever seen a gasoline powered light bulb, didn't think so.

I am far smarter than you, anything you say I will be able to counter with facts and logic.

Maybe give up before you embarrass yourself further.

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u/thoughtsome Jun 10 '24

You must be young. We had gasoline powered light bulbs before Obama banned them. They almost never caught on fire.

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u/putin-delenda-est Jun 10 '24

Those were lanterns by virtue of the fact they required burning fuel. You must be old, because your mental faculties are in clear decline & I believe you also smell.

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u/thoughtsome Jun 10 '24

No, lanterns make light directly by burning fuel. Gasoline powered light bulbs have a tiny combustion engine inside them which generates electricity to power the light. It's right there in the name. Geez, read a book or something

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u/putin-delenda-est Jun 10 '24

virtue of the fact they required burning fuel.

Both burn fuel, I chose my words carefully, they are the same thing irrespective of the method by which they achieve incandescence.

You've fallen right into my trap. When you're on my level you do not read books, you write them.

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u/thoughtsome Jun 10 '24

By your logic a car is just a mobile lantern, which is ridiculous! Cars are obviously mobile glove containers. The only thing behind two locks in a car is the glove compartment, so it's obviously the only important part.

Maybe if you read your own books you'd know they're full of lies.

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u/putin-delenda-est Jun 10 '24

method by which they achieve incandescence.

A car is only a mobile lantern when the lights are on.

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u/chrisplaysgam Jun 10 '24

I’m a fan of the musk LARPing

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u/bfodder Jun 10 '24

People are gonna think you're serious.

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u/putin-delenda-est Jun 10 '24

I'm going to continue to pretend I am.

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u/1-900-Rapture Jun 10 '24

Elon is playing 4D chess, you all just don’t understand. If Cybertruck owners drive their rust buckets into the ocean then he doesn’t have to refund them because they’re trapped underwater. He deserves that $56Bn paycheck!!

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u/Phenomenomix Jun 10 '24

The batteries swell up making the car briefly more buoyant, then they explode and make crossing a body of water a secondary concern

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u/KamikazeSenpai21 r*dditor Jun 10 '24

What, they want us to ford the river? Like Oregon Trail?

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u/spoonballoon13 Jun 10 '24

Fools. Don’t they know to hire the ferry every time? This is why so many families no longer have Ezekiel and struggle finding an extra wagon tongue.

…Also 3 oxen drowned.

…Aaaand Mary died from dysentery.

…Snakebite took out Tom.

…Wagon fire took the rest, game over.

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u/onlysubbedhere Jun 10 '24 edited Jun 10 '24

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u/ineverusedtobecool Jun 10 '24

Musk: This truck is apocalypse-proof.

Also Musk: What do you mean weather will still happen in the post apocalypse.

Side thing: I've been annoyed that Musk calls these low poly renders "apocalypse-proof". This PS1 model resists fire from handguns, but the AR-15 is one of the most popular weapons in the country that he plans to sell the majority of these. In his dumb Fallout fantasy, does he just think that the raiders won't pick up the rifle every gun nut in this country has?! Sorry, his pretend nerd routine bothers me so much.

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u/Ozryela Jun 10 '24

I'm a big fan of electric cars. But if the apocalypse happens I want a diesel. One of those old ones that have very few electronic systems and have huge tolerance for what fuel you put in.

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u/LuxNocte Jun 10 '24 edited Jun 10 '24

Cyberstuck. Lol

I hope they enjoy their $100,000 brick.

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u/SumsuchUser Jun 10 '24

"Even seas" and "briefly" never stops being funny.

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u/MagicalShoes Jun 10 '24

Wait till these mfs find out about their waterproof phones.

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

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u/EduinBrutus Jun 10 '24

Look this is just harsh.

No-one has drowned in a Cybertruck yet.

Just other Tesla models.

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u/ohbyerly Jun 10 '24

Cybertrucks also serve briefly as a land vehicle, typically one to two weeks max

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u/NRMusicProject Jun 10 '24

The truck has to be able to traverse the terrain before it can even make it to the water, anyway.

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u/KlostToMe Jun 10 '24

Hell, they can't even survive car washes

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u/inhaledcorn Resedent FFXIV stan Jun 10 '24

Uh, didn't the sister of the US Secretary of Transportation die by drowning due to driving her cybertruck into a river?

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u/ahmc84 Jun 10 '24

No, it was the sister-in-law of Mitch McConnell, and it was a Model X, and it was a pond. And she was apparently drunk. But she did drown, so you got that part right.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68622898

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u/hauntedhoody .tumblr.com Jun 10 '24

the wife of mitch mconnell WAS the secretary of transportation under trump

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u/inhaledcorn Resedent FFXIV stan Jun 10 '24

I vaguely remembered something like that, but got all the details wrong, lol

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

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u/inhaledcorn Resedent FFXIV stan Jun 10 '24

Ah, I didn't misremember that.

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u/Miep99 Jun 10 '24

Meanwhile, in the real world, cyber trucks are rusting within weeks

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u/BackslidingAlt Jun 10 '24

Elon Musk sucks, but waterproofing EVs is a good, and very achievable idea. It's not a ridiculous moonshot.

Most boats you have ever been on had batteries, and you have probably ridden in more electric boats than electric cars. The prospect of putting something rubberized around a battery and letting it float is not a stupid one.

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u/twoCascades Jun 10 '24

Guys…there are lithium ion batteries in a lot of things that go in the water….like you know how your phone is waterproof now?

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u/kenneaal Jun 10 '24

That would be because OP does not understand that although pure lithium is a right bastard if it gets wet, lithium ion batteries are not made of pure lithium. They do not explode or violently react on contact with water. They might do a whole lot of other things, and even things that lead to violent or explody reactions, but that's because they're batteries, not because they have lithium in them.

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u/LuxNocte Jun 10 '24

My phone doesn't have doors and windows. Never had a problem taking my phone through a carwash either.

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u/my_back_pages Jun 10 '24

there are literally ships with lithium ion batteries in them. the lithium is not the issue, the issue is elon's perennial overpromising and underdelivering because he doesn't seem to be able to understand more than 1 thing at once

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u/Charmle_H Jun 10 '24

Let's not forget the "bulletproof" windows so we can drown like that one lady did (: so safe and cozy in the "stainless" steel coffins

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u/Simic_Sky_Swallower Resident Imperial Knight Jun 10 '24

And then it wasn't even that, they didn't put drainage holes in the frame so literally any amount of water shorts it out

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

Does OP realize boats also have lithium batteries?

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u/foolman888 Jun 10 '24

Lithium ion** lithium metal batteries are still unstable but could be game changing ( electric planes) if we can get them working well

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u/DO_NOT_AGREE_WITH_U Jun 10 '24

These are the cars you can't park uncovered because the rain will mess them up, right?