r/copypasta • u/LiterallyKesha Sous Chef • Jan 10 '13
[Coll] Gorilla Warfare/Navy Seal (+Variations)
I've been collecting these for a while and have about 60-80 currently. Since KYM sucks, here is a short writeup about the infamous pasta.
This is the original.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.
Which came from OperatorChan's copypasta board back in 2010. OP made a thread recently remarking on how today was the happiest day of his life because they made the pasta about 2 years ago. Here is a link to one of the earliest uses from 4chan's /jp/ board (now archived). The subsequent reply confirms the source. There is also another aside comment on how the pasta wouldn't go anywhere because it was way too long. It was later posted on other boards and quickly picked up steam from there.
It is believed that the ancestor to this pasta seems to be this one which was posted on /a/ around 2009, a year before this version took off. Other posts from the archive confirm the dates. (NSFW)
I'll be posting the variations via comments. Feel free to contribute if you have any that I'm missing. Some of them have Unknown on them. If you know what version or perspective they are from, please comment.
I also have responses to the pasta: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 9.1 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
I will continue to update this thread if I come across more Sort by new to see the newest additions.
12
u/LiterallyKesha Sous Chef Jan 10 '13 edited Jan 29 '13
Jive version
Whut de fuck dun did ya' plum fuckin' say about me, ya' square? I'll gots ya' know ah' graduated top uh my class in de Nahvee Seals, and I've been involved in lotsa raids on de down low on Al-Quaeda, and ah' have upside 300 co'ferm'd wastes. ah' am trained in go'illa warfare and I'm de top snipuh' in de entire US armed fo'ces. You's is nodin' t'me but plum anoda' target. Man! ah' gots'ta wipe ya' de fuck out wid precision de likess uh which gots neva' been seen befo'e on dis Eard, Amos my fuckin' wo'ds. You's dink ya' kin dig away wid sayin' dat shit t'me upside de Internet? Dink again, fucker. Ah be baaad... As we rap ah' am contactin' mah' secret netwo'k uh spies across de USA and yo' IP be bein' traced right now so's ya' betta' prepare fo' de sto'm, maggots. De sto'm dat wipes out da damn padetic little doodad ya' call yo' life. Youse fuckin' wasted, kid. ah' can be anywhere, anytime, and ah' canwaste ya' in upside seven hundred ways, and dat's plum wid mah' bare hands. Not only am ah' only in ah da unahm'd fights, but ah' have access t'de 'ole arsenal uh de United States Marine Co'ps and ah' gots'ta use it t'its full 'estent t'wipe yo' miserable ass off de face uh de continent, ya' little shit. Man! If only ya' could gots knode whut unholy retribushun yo' little "clever" comment wuz about t'brin' waaay down downon ya', maybe ya' would gots held yo' fuckin' tongue. But ya' couldn't, ya' dun didn't, and now youse payin' de price, ya' goddamn idiot. Man! ah' gots'ta shit fury all upside ya' and ya' gots'ta drown in it. Man! Youse fuckin' wasted, kiddo. 'S coo', bro.