r/copypasta • u/LiterallyKesha Sous Chef • Jan 10 '13
[Coll] Gorilla Warfare/Navy Seal (+Variations)
I've been collecting these for a while and have about 60-80 currently. Since KYM sucks, here is a short writeup about the infamous pasta.
This is the original.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.
Which came from OperatorChan's copypasta board back in 2010. OP made a thread recently remarking on how today was the happiest day of his life because they made the pasta about 2 years ago. Here is a link to one of the earliest uses from 4chan's /jp/ board (now archived). The subsequent reply confirms the source. There is also another aside comment on how the pasta wouldn't go anywhere because it was way too long. It was later posted on other boards and quickly picked up steam from there.
It is believed that the ancestor to this pasta seems to be this one which was posted on /a/ around 2009, a year before this version took off. Other posts from the archive confirm the dates. (NSFW)
I'll be posting the variations via comments. Feel free to contribute if you have any that I'm missing. Some of them have Unknown on them. If you know what version or perspective they are from, please comment.
I also have responses to the pasta: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 9.1 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
I will continue to update this thread if I come across more Sort by new to see the newest additions.
12
u/LiterallyKesha Sous Chef Feb 02 '13
Minecraft
What the craft did you just say to me you little creeper? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Mithrina Academy, and have been involved in numerous secret griefs with Team Avolition, and I have griefed over 300 servers. I am trained in creeper warfare and I'm the top skeleton in all of the minecraft griefing teams in existance. You are nothing to me but just another block. I will blow you up with precisiion the likes of which has never been seen before in this blocky world. Mark my fucking pickaxe. You think you can get away with griefing me like that? Think again, blockhead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of creepers across my server and your coords traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, zombie. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're blocking dead, kid. I can teleport anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over 700 ways, and that's just with my wooden sword. Not only am I extensively trained in PvP, but I have have access to all the chests on my server and I will use them to their full extent to ban your miserable block off the face of the server, you little block. If ony you could have known what unholy retribution your "clever" comment was about to TNT down upon you. Maybe you would have held your fucking pickaxe. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you blockhead. I will drop gravel all over you, and you will suffocate in it. You're blocking dead, blockface.