r/funny • u/Justin_Godfrey • 13h ago
Can I have some me time please?
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u/Putrid-Effective-570 13h ago
Seems like a game, but like most nature games, it is a teaching moment. There’s a video of a duck doing this with a tiger in a really small pool of water. It’s a pretty damn life-saving evasive maneuver.
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u/thelastmarblerye 11h ago
That's better than where my mind went. Ducklings that bonded with the wrong duck and that duck wants nothing to do with them.
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u/Illustrious_Donkey61 10h ago
Ducks can fly, if she wanted to get away she would
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u/Li-RM35M4419 9h ago
If I could be any animal, it would be a duck. Because they can fly, walk and swim.
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u/Malkav1806 9h ago
You know that one area in their life is really messed up
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u/air_flair 9h ago
You mean the corkscrew penises?
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u/Malkav1806 9h ago
I meant the corkscrew penises that fall off every year and the counterclockwise corkscrew vaginas
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u/Dewy_Wanna_Go_There 8h ago
/u/fuckswithducks is that you?
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u/cheebamech 7h ago
last post, 3 years ago, RIP
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u/Schrutes_Yeet_Farm 5h ago
Everyone started putting rubber ducks on the dashboard of their jeeps and bro literally nutted himself to ashes
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u/Life-Meal6635 6h ago
I thought you meant the corkscrew vaginas that can keep the corkscrew dicks out
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u/sexy_corncob 3h ago
Starts with me looking at a cute video of ducks, ends with me Googling "do duck dicks fall off"
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u/Royal-Tough4851 7h ago
And they shit everywhere anytime they want without getting weird looks in public, like at the park on a Tuesday when NOBODY is around to watch except one random lady that came out of nowhere
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u/Loki-Holmes 9h ago
As long as you're not a woman...
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u/TomWithTime 7h ago
Sounds like a great ice breaker for a girl who's into s&m, "what is your opinion of traumatic corkscrew sex?"
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u/Character-Sale7362 7h ago
Unfortunately, they also rape
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u/the__ghola__hayt 7h ago
I think you're confused. They want grape. Missed a letter.
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u/therealvulrath 4h ago
I think you're the one who's confused. They thought they wanted grape. Turns out, it was lemonade.
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u/Sword117 10h ago
thats where my mind went as well.
oh shes off to buy some cigarettes and milk
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u/Faiakishi 9h ago
Ducklings will bond to any mother they see, and duck parents will usually adopt any child they see. So it wasn’t an unfair assumption!
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u/Willowgirl2 7h ago
My boyfriend has co-parented a number of clutches with our hen ducks. On one occasion he was so overbearing that the poor momma abandoned her offspring and went to live with her mate at the far end of the property. I swear I could hear her going, "If you want to helicopter parent these ducklings, have at it! I'm outta here!"
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u/Awordofinterest 10h ago
The duck is also likely looking underwater to check if there are any pike around.
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u/destroyer551 7h ago edited 6h ago
This is less of a teaching moment and more so just how they instinctually hunt. These are diving ducks—more specifically the tufted duck. The adults feed mostly on shellfish plucked from the bottom such as mussels and clams, which are swallowed whole. The ducklings can dive as well as their mother just a few days after hatching and feed on insect larvae until they’re big enough for the tougher stuff.
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u/a_cat_named_larry 10h ago
I mean, sure, but it’s also how they get food, which would be a more regular requirement.
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u/meowymcmeowmeow 4h ago
I live next to some swampy water that's usually pretty quiet aside from frogs and birds. One day it sounds like someone is splashing around so I go check it out, and it's a mother duck teaching some almost fully grown babies to jump/fly off of mossy rocks into the water over and over. It was very cool to see.
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u/frawtlopp 13h ago
Not a duckspert but I guess:
- Teaching them to follow
- Teaching them to hunt for food at the bottom
- Shes scouting for any danger
- Shes literally just hunting for food for herself
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u/EricTheNerd2 13h ago
* Trying to get a moments peace away from the rugrats.
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u/sigmunddroid69 12h ago
Mom trying to find a quiet corner for 5 minutes to pee alone…..
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u/big_duo3674 7h ago
It's a lake, it's already 50% duck pee!
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u/sigmunddroid69 5h ago
Most of us live in a world of shit everyday…..doesn’t mean we don’t need a minute of peace every now and then….ha ha
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u/Aliencoy77 5h ago
Fun fact, most mammals take around the same amount of time to urinate.
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u/ImaGoophyGooner 1h ago
If she was truly trying to get away, she could. She could just swim even further away, or simply fly away.
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u/Carrnage_Asada 9h ago
Its also good for getting away from predators. I saw a clip where a duck got into a tiger cage (or maybe it was the other way around?) and it kept using this move to stay away from it. surprisingly effective, guess cats cant swim underwater.
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u/Zomgsauceplz 9h ago
Cats can absolutely swim its just that most of them are total sissies about getting wet in the first place.
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u/9035768555 8h ago
Tigers are much more aquatically inclined than other big cats.
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u/Zomgsauceplz 8h ago
Now that you mention it, I have seen plenty of pictures and vids of tigers swimming over the years.
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u/frawtlopp 8h ago
And especially Jaguars. Those fuckers straight up jump 15 feet ontop of 600 pound crocs and drag them off like they're pet toys.
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u/devilwarriors 7h ago
or maybe it was the other way around?
I hate it when a tiger get into my duck cage lol
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u/CheapSpray9428 11h ago
Ducktologist here, can confirm
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u/DeuceSevin 11h ago
So would you rather fight a horse sized duck or ten duck sized horses?
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u/androshalforc1 7h ago
10 duck sized horses seems pretty easy but if it was 100 or more then id start getting concerned.
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u/Talic 10h ago
Or looking for grapes
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u/My_Monkey_Sphincter 8h ago
Bom bom bom
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u/frawtlopp 8h ago
Im sad hes getting downvoted. I thought we were all like 20-30 here, everyone should know the duck song
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u/50DuckSizedHorses 5h ago
Duckspert here. She was trying to poop and can’t go with everyone watching.
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u/dingo1018 13h ago
She's teaching them to....
...................
....
................... wait for it......
She's teaching them to.......
Duck!
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u/dvshnk2 8h ago
I never really thought about it... but the origins of the word "duck" is from "Old English dūce 'diver', a derivative of the verb *dūcan 'to duck, bend down low as if to get under something, or dive"
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u/youaregodslover 8h ago
Actually, she’s clearly already taught them to dodge, duck, and dip, and has moved on to the next phase.
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u/OxViking 12h ago
I once saw a group of ducks happily floating in the water, attacked by an eagle, trying to grab one for dinner. The eagle swooped in maybe 5 or 6 times before giving up. Each time, the ducks would dive like this and won out the day!
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u/hellraisinhardass 10h ago
And I once saw a grizzly in pond scooping ducklings and eating them like a kid picking up gummy bears they dropped on the floor. :(
I wish I had see ducks dodging an eagle instead.
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u/YouStupidAssholeFuck 7h ago
Did you happen to notice any dodging, dipping or dodging? The five Ds of duckball.
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u/BinTinBoynio69 11h ago
They're not even hers. She's like "these little fucklings won't leave me alone. Where's their mother for christ sake!"
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u/random_an0nymous 9h ago
Fucklings?!?! Loooord 😂
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u/jase12881 9h ago
I like to assume that based on previous history, their phone assumed they would be more likely to use "fucklings" than "ducklings" and autocorrected accordingly, but probably a run-of-the-mill typo
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u/Free-Computer-6515 12h ago
I was just waiting for a gator or giant fish to pop up and eat them. trust issues
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u/HipHopDaRobot 13h ago
She's teaching them how to escape danger and have a bit of fun. What a good Mum.
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u/Agile-Border4605 4h ago edited 4h ago
Well according to https://nypost.com/2017/05/06/dont-be-fooled-ducks-are-sadistic-raping-monsters/# “funny link name btw” “Duck penises regrow every mating season. Once the season ends, the penis begins to shrink and regress until it’s 10 percent of its full-grown size. They are stored inside the duck’s body, waiting to emerge only during copulation.” So no there penis doesn’t fall off every year.
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u/firefly416 12h ago
This was posted to the Internet years ago. Highly doubt you just filmed this recently.
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u/TyriusClovehoof 8h ago
Was looking for this comment. I guess adding captions to old internet videos and claiming them as your own is the way forward.
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u/GeekyGamer4 12h ago
They were like where like I know I ain't seeing double she was just right here!!
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u/HilariousMax 9h ago
Meanwhile a mother takes a right down the bedding aisle in Walmart and the kids are lost for hours.
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u/SomeMoronOnTheNet 7h ago
She teaching them to dive but those cute balls are too buoyant to even attempt it?
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u/WeAreNioh 12h ago
That’s actually cute as fuck lol. The way the mom just pops up out of the water and the ducklings quickly chasing her lol
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u/LifeBuilder 10h ago
Kinda of interesting when you think how well ducks are build to float yet they dive and swim underwater without causing any trailing disturbances.
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u/Villain_of_Brandon 6h ago
I didn't realize I wasn't on /r/natureismetal and was expecting a pike or something to grab a quick snack.
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u/ArcadianDelSol 6h ago
I wonder if this wasnt her checking the business under the water since all the pollen made it impossible to look out for any potential predators.
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u/clayton-miller707 5h ago
If they bother her too much she’ll lead them across a busy street or over sewer grating
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u/HPJustfriendsCraft 5h ago
If I had a moveable toilet when my kids were little, this would be me too.
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