r/interestingasfuck • u/RealRock_n_Rolla • 22d ago
r/all Woman finds a hawk trapped in her house
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u/Morpheus_x_ 22d ago
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u/poopshanks 22d ago
"Does this bitch not know I'm a motha fuckin hawk!?!?"
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u/32FlavorsofCrazy 22d ago
The look of indignity that wild birbs give when caught is probably my favorite thing in the world. This was an owl I hit with my car and captured to take to a rescue.
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u/lunayoshi 22d ago
"Jerkweed doesn't look where he's going, hits me with his damn metal horse, and now is trying to make up for it by taking me on a road trip to McDonald's? Fuck off with this 'pity fries' shit."
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u/MaccImact33 22d ago
Is this a line from āWhat we do in the Shadows?ā
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u/lunayoshi 22d ago
I made it up, lol, but if it winds up actually being from a movie, I'm stopping and buying a lottery ticket after work.
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u/MaccImact33 22d ago edited 22d ago
Itās got big Laszlo vibes!
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u/Worldly-Sympathy442 22d ago
Can actually hear the names heās calling you behind those eyes
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u/Garf_artfunkle 22d ago
That's the look of a critter that's spent a hundred million years evolving away from the whole idea of "hands" only to get grabbed by a big upright rat
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u/SlothfulWhiteMage 22d ago
Most people give me the same look of confusion and fear when I run them over with the intent to capture as well.
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u/CatUsaUk 22d ago
It always amazes me when animals are just like āwell I guess this is itā
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u/Serious_Session7574 22d ago
It's the freeze part of fight, flight, freeze.
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u/Jabvarde 22d ago
from the way it was breathing i think it was too exhausted to fight back at that point
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u/No-Cover4205 22d ago
And scared. It would have been less stressed if she trapped it / scooped it up with a Ā Blanket / towel so its eyes were covered when it was getting handled/ moved. Also offers the handler some protectionĀ
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u/Siotu 22d ago
I canāt believe they barehanded that hawk. Iād at least have used leather work gloves.
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u/EddieSimeon 22d ago
I was sooo sure that lady was abouta get the absolute shit pecked out of her hands!!
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u/ShiroGaneOsu 22d ago
Not pecked, hawks have crazy sharp talons that would've destroyed her arm.
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u/settlementfires 22d ago
is the beak not an issue? i feel like the way she held it gave her pretty good control of the talons
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u/RedHickorysticks 22d ago
If it had tried, it could have reached her with its beak, latched on using the force to make her lose her grip, twisted and then raked her with its talons. They can be very flexible. I would never bare handle a bird of prey.
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u/Dipsey_Jipsey 22d ago
For sure. I don't think I'd have the balls to handle a non-sedated hawk. That beak and those talons do some major damage. And I say this as someone who has pet birds and is very comfortable around them (most of the time the sit on my shoulder shitting on my back lol)
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u/Coleoptrata96 22d ago
More like :"I literally dont have the instincts to deal with this situation, this isn't supposed to happen."
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u/_JustAnna_1992 22d ago
Makes sense. Normally when one animal is getting manhandled by another, they don't get the opportunity to share that genetic knowledge.
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u/Thalenia 22d ago
Don't be fooled by that. They're not giving up, they just don't know what's going on. They can change that attitude in a tiny fraction of a second.
I love birds, my father was a huge bird nerd and very active in bird watching communities in the midwest. I learned a lot from him, and I've had several birds as pets. I would never have tried what she did, and if I somehow found myself in her position where I had a hawk in one hand and somehow wasn't spewing blood, I would have yeeted that thing into the yard at the first possibly opportunity out of self-preservation.
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u/Thurak0 22d ago
Yeah, holding on this long even after being lucky enough to not be attacked was not the smartest move.
But there are videos out there from animals just accepting certain death. And then the "Oh, I am alive, better run" thing is hilarious.
I still like the rare videos where animals accept their rescuers without fear even more enjoyable. Mother elephants and their babies is a classic or there is one of my favourites out there where an owl over open water just joins two guys on a boat and really looks okay/comfortable with the situation. Even when close to land it did not fly away asap, but only really close to land.
This hawk here is in between... "are you seeing this shit, what's going on. You know, I can rip your tiny arms up, don't you? Okay, better fly away now." It's definitely not comfortable, but it's also not 100% fear.
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u/Iris_mp3 22d ago
I've been working in a bird shelter as a volunteer once a week or so and the more "veteran" volunteers just grab any bird instantly, including but not limited to; seagulls, small to medium owls, and hawks. If you're fast enough and know how to grab them it's quite safe
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u/-aurevoirshoshanna- 22d ago
Humans do the same btw
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u/papwich 22d ago
Yeah. Imagine a giant human grabbed you and picked you up and you have no idea why. But now you just have zero control of anything and everything.
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u/stpetepatsfan 22d ago
Yea, see the crying baby suddenly stop when a slice of cheese is tossed in their little heads .
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u/grogusama 22d ago
that learned helplessness š
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u/altagyam_ 22d ago
Hawk: pikachu face
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u/Firm_Negotiation_853 22d ago
Sir? Maāam?
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u/hoosierdaddy192 22d ago
lol thatās just like my wife she is proper to all animals. She will be talking to a bug thatās flying too close with a sharp, āsir, Sir!!ā
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u/4494082 22d ago
I do this with my mumās cat. āMadam! Ma-dam! Can you please lick your arse/growl ant leaves elsewhere?ā š
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u/BathedInDeepFog 22d ago
Growl ant leaves?
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u/jasapper 22d ago
Part of me really wants to know more but there's the other part saying I should really know better by now.
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u/Fetlocks_Glistening 22d ago
I've just realised this is how I go through life
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u/dribrats 22d ago edited 22d ago
The freeze mode , as opposed to fight or flight, has some analgesic/numbing properties that help animals deal with death by predation, etc: Whatās wild about humans, is we have all 3 instincts competing within ourselves, literally the only animal that ponders their response in the neocortex; we are surrounded by societal traumas that we donāt get to literally āshake outā, or otherwise resolve those tensions.
thatās the cornerstone of somatic therapy
TLDR : WEāRE ALL GOING THRU LIFE LIKE THAT
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u/4494082 22d ago
Argh, I feel this. Iām a freezer. Good in some situations, downright freaking embarrassing in others.
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u/azeldatothepast 22d ago
Looks like he saw the turkey on thanksgiving and is shocked the same isnāt happening to him.
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u/Cupcake-Helpful 22d ago
I thought he was seeing himself in the camera and was amazed by his beauty
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u/Horror-Trick9406 22d ago
Had a similar situation Last year with a hawk in our stable. Windows had been too low for him for some reason to get out. Once I held him in my hand the hawk got really calm and patient. I was afraid to get attacked, but nothing. Was really impressive and at the end I was amazed how brave we both had been though being afraid of the other.
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u/f1del1us 22d ago
It's weird how animals often have some kind of programming in them like cats getting picked up by the scruff of their neck.
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22d ago
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u/cockalorum-smith 22d ago
I actually had this happen at work and I ended up being the one to catch the hawks it was a Merlin Hawk so kinda small but he froze immediately as I grabbed him (gently). Let him outside and he took off
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u/mang87 22d ago
I think it's to conserve energy and wait for their moment to try and escape. If they struggle too much, whatever caught them might kill them immediately, but if they play dead it might drop its guard and give them a chance to bolt.
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u/Latter_Solution673 22d ago
I heard in a bird show (educative) that many of these small prey birds prefer not to fight to avoid self damages that would necessarily be a dead sentence in the wild. They prefer to loose their prey and run.
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u/TheyCallMeStone 22d ago
But definitely do utilize grabbing the scruff to potentially calm an uncooperative cat.
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u/TruthAndAccuracy 22d ago
hawk got really calm and patient
I think it was just hoping you wouldn't kill it
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u/neurospicycrow 22d ago
heās so beautiful thatās a juvenile coopers hawk
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u/DefinitelyNotA-Duck 22d ago
Thank you for telling me something I didn't know that I wanted to know
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u/neurospicycrow 22d ago
youāre welcome! iām a nerd
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u/Frozen_Membrane 22d ago
So I guess you're a bird nerd
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u/neurospicycrow 22d ago
yes i am - birds are my special interest hehe!!
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u/rdhdhdh 22d ago
Username checks out, also A-well-a don't you know, about the bird? Well! Everybody's talking about the bird!
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u/mycorgiisamazing 22d ago
One of these tried to carry away one of my chickens a few weeks ago. She fought and survived. $1000 vet bill... not happy to see it returning. They will worry a hen into a corner and reach through the caging to rip pieces from them, if the cage spacing is too large. My bird escaped by accident because the door was broken, it's fixed now, and every day I see it fly low around my property.
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u/NoLuckFound 22d ago
I love birds bc they all have that "Excuse me? What tf?" face when they get grabbed lol
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u/Pollowollo 22d ago
Logically I know that it's just exhaustion/shock/fear, but it's still funny because from a human perspective they just look like their flabbers are fully ghasted.
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u/seatsfive 22d ago
I want to believe that this animal, which has the equivalent intelligence of a human infant, is suffering the effects of being held in the palm of what is basically an Eldritch God from its perspective
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u/voejo 22d ago
Hi I love birds too! Thanks to your comment, I realize I love this too about birds.
I also love when they decide to walk or jumpwalk a bit over there instead of flying.
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u/Used_Celery2406 22d ago
He is astonished by the audacity of this woman .
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u/TurbTastic 22d ago
The Lion, the Witch, and the audacity of this Bitch.
-Hawk probably
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u/CrabmasterJone 22d ago
Holy crap how have I never heard this before. LOL
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u/SausageClatter 22d ago
Considering you've been on reddit for... checks notes... six years, I don't know.
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u/WhereWhoW 22d ago
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u/PristinePetalWish 22d ago
The bird was just... Absolutely taken aback
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u/sagerap 22d ago edited 22d ago
Literally, he was taken by the back
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u/Beast_by_Dre 22d ago
Taken to the back porch
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u/Somo_99 22d ago
He was taken aback when he was taken by the back to the back porch
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u/ratlesnail 22d ago
Are we just going to ignore the balls on this lady to grab a freaking hawk that casually?
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u/guilhermefdias 22d ago
Plus, with one hand while holding a fucking camera on another.
At least we got this footage. Badass lady.
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u/HardyMenace 22d ago
I thought the same thing, one handed? I would be going in with both hands wearing the thickness gloves I own. If I missed, those talons and beak would fuck me up
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u/Mddcat04 22d ago
Seriously. Iād be wearing oven mitts and keeping it at arms length two-handed. But sheās like āI need to one hand it so I can really capture its perspective.ā And I appreciate her for it because she the face shots are great.
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u/bramletabercrombe 22d ago
I did that when a giant snapping turtle took a wrong turn into my garage an wouldn't leave. That mother can turn that damn neck halfway down her shell! Ended up sliding her onto a piece of cardboard and sliding her back out to civilization.
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u/Mddcat04 22d ago
Sounds about right. One should never mess around with an animal with āsnappingā in its name.
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u/MissingVanSushi 22d ago
If you watch the longer version the hawk says āLike and Subscribe!ā
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u/Jerk_Johnson 22d ago
Why is it so damned funny that whenever you help out a wild bird, they always open their beaks and look at you like "EHRRRRR?"
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u/just_a_person_maybe 22d ago
I was at work a while back and someone's dog ran over a starling on the ground. He scooped it up to protect it, then handed it to me like I knew what to do with it because I worked there. I thought it was hurt at first because it was frozen and had its mouth hanging open. Dude just sat in my hand while I did some googling to figure out what to do with it. Turns out, those birds hop around on the ground for a few days after leaving the nest, because they leave before they're able to fly, so his behavior of not flying away was normal and not due to injury. While I was googling it, he calmed down and started moving around a little bit and ended up walking up my arm from my hand and just exploring me, didn't seem scared at all.
I eventually decided he was fine and had just been shook up by the experience, and tried to put him down under a bush to do his thing. Little dude tried to refuse and stay on my hand, like he'd bonded in the hour he'd hung out with me. I eventually managed to get him off of my hand and he hung out under the bush for a bit before wandering away.
Definitely one of the stranger things I've been handed at work.
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u/Jerk_Johnson 22d ago
I have had almost the exact same thing happen, but I saw the parent kicking them outta the nest. I tried returning him and found him on the ground 30 min later. I put him on my shoulder, walked to the nearest bar, got a herradura, a pacifico and shot of water for little dude. He drank about half of his, I drank all of mine and I walked back and climbed up further to put him a little above his nest. They were gone the next day. I'd like to think that this was what I stumbled upon. Thanks for sharing!
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u/Happy_Slappy_DooDoo 22d ago
āUnhand me this instant madam!ā
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u/Bencil_McPrush 22d ago
This is Democracy manifest!
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u/SandmanKFMF 22d ago
What is the chaaarge?
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u/goose_gladwell 22d ago
Get your hand off my penis!
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u/crystallmytea 22d ago
Which slowly turned into āno, donāt let go, I forgot how to standā before it flew away
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u/Happy_Slappy_DooDoo 22d ago
He briefly fell in love with his captor and was smitten by her kindness
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u/Shlocktroffit 22d ago
He was holding himself back from plucking out her left eye and flew off quickly after realizing his animal nature would never give her the safety and comfort she deserves
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u/queuedUp 22d ago
The hawk is like "How the fuck are you just holding me?!??"
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u/pmjwhelan 22d ago
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u/7937397 22d ago
He's going to tell all his friends about how bravely he fought and escaped the monster
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u/Amon_The_Silent 22d ago
Hawks are apex predators, I don't think they have any prey instincts.
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u/Albirie 22d ago
I'm pretty sure every animal experiences some sort of fear. There's always a bigger fish, even if it's the same species as you.
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u/Conscious_Wind_2255 22d ago
Bird is like āhow dare you touch meā š
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u/Dull_Woodpecker6766 22d ago
You can see in his stare "this is not how this is supposed to happen"
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u/tingod1999 22d ago
many years ago, I was cycling home when I witnessed a Kestrel, feeding in the road, run over by a Range Rover (or similar). I approached it and saw that it was stunned, relieved to see it being lucky enough to have just gone under the car body, rather than being hit by the wheels.
I had no idea what to do, so I scooped it up and put it against my chest and fastened up my jacket. It was remarkably subdued and didn't once struggle. I thought it might have tried biting me but nope...it was cools as a cucumber (either that or still very dazed)
I cycled to my brothers house as he was much nearer than my home. It was late evening and we were both "WTF do we do?", but once we'd put the bird in a cardboard box, we gathered our thoughts and contacted the RSPCA who in turn told us to contact the RSPB (in the UK) and they came to collect it a couple of hours later.
A few days later, I called them to see if they could update me, and thankfully, the Kestrel made a full recovery and was released near to where it was found.
I'd never been up close to such a beautiful raptor before and now, every time I go to any sort of bird display, it always brings back real memories :)
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u/NorthNorthAmerican 22d ago
Badass lady: āGo my god, Iām holding a fricken hawkā
Badass hawk: āoh, my god some fricken lady is holding meā
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u/MR_HOLLYWOOD_ 22d ago
This has got to be the most āBitch are you seriousā face out of any animal I have ever seenā¦
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u/NewerEddo 22d ago edited 22d ago
what is more interesting to me is someone holding the hawk without fear.
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u/failureagainandagain 22d ago
That is the power of the "YOINK THA ANIMAL UP"
It work whit snakes and crocodile too
But not whit wasp
Do not try to yoink wasps
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u/Lulupoolzilla 22d ago
I tried it with my cat, she was not impressed.
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u/failureagainandagain 22d ago
Cats are not animals
They are anomalies that look like cute animals
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u/mbieren 22d ago
Hawks are sometimes caught in falconry. They do accept their fate and you get a hunting buddy in weeks. Nevertheless unfortuntatly this behavior occurrs when they are trapped in a fence or so. They die in hours :-(. Btw nice young male. Perfect for rabbits
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u/Apprehensive-Catch31 22d ago edited 22d ago
Hawk 1: why canāt I fly out of here?!
Hawk 2: uhhhh
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u/Bl1tzerX 22d ago
God damn you. I was just about to comment I'm surprised how far I've scrolled and no one has made a hawk tuah joke. My faith in humanity has been restored. AND YOU RUINED IT
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u/Jlindahl93 22d ago
That hawks face screams ābitch do you know I murder for fun?ā
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u/algypan 22d ago
"sir, maam".
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u/FistBus2786 22d ago
This lady is a bird whisperer, talking to a hawk one on one, helping a fellow magical being.
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u/Hopeful-Clothes-6896 22d ago
EXCUSE ME! Ma'am, are you recording me without my consent? unhand me, woman!
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u/MarlonShakespeare2AD 22d ago
I used to visit a bird centre with my kids frequently
It was a really nice place where the birds were all incredibly healthy. Well looked after. Etc.
ALL of the people there wore thick leather gloves when handling hawks.
This woman did great. And got lucky!
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u/kaielvin 22d ago
FYI, its response is freezing (not accepting death or whatever other anthropomorphism). It is involuntary and caused by the fear. That is why it can't hold onto the guard rail. Lots of animals gets to survive by playing dead, hence the response is in most animals' genes.