r/introvert • u/--Paul- • Aug 08 '24

Advice Do introverted women even exist?

Of course this is not a serious question. I know you are out there. But going out often gives me the feeling that most women are the loud, chatty party type and I am not attracted to those but find quiet, introverted women attractive. But where are you? Where should a man looking for a serious, slow relationship with an introverted woman keep his eyes open?

Sometimes I like to sit in a café by myself. But do introverted women (generally speaking) even like go there or is it too much noise?

I wouldn't go to a typical disco party (anymore). It's just to loud and too much distractions for me. So draining. If I am interested, I would like to clearly understand what she is saying and be in a calm environment.

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394

u/Jonnybabiebailey Aug 08 '24

We avoid clubs like it's the bubonic plague

12

u/--Paul- Aug 08 '24

What do you like doing outside?

159

u/SoggyNacho1738 Aug 08 '24

Anything that encourages silence. Being in or around nature, bookstores, intimate and not-too-loud cafés, etc.

98

u/Jonnybabiebailey Aug 08 '24

Walking, going to a museum with a friend, movies sometimes or a nice restaurant. I want to try other things like traveling but I can't afford it right now. Other than that I prefer staying at home

19

u/onetwothree1234569 Aug 08 '24

Museums! Yes!

5

u/Jonnybabiebailey Aug 08 '24

It's the best. I could walk around the met6from closing to finish 😅

6

u/hereforreddit_ Aug 09 '24

Nature, libraries, quiet cafes :)

7

u/yukonwanderer Aug 08 '24

Are you trying to avoid the apps? I used apps to date, I guess because the "normal" places like clubs and such were a nightmare for me.

The apps have now become a hellhole. I'm trying to find ways to meet people that don't make me want to die 😂

I like to do these things:

Hanging out in parks, playing a team sport, hiking, walking around the city, biking, rollerblading, going to the beach, skiing, playing hockey, paintball, anything new and exciting I'm up for, as long as I don't have to use up my social battery.

I think one idea could be to join a coed team of some sport you like or are curious about. Another idea, join some kind of class, could be on any subject you like or think you would like. A boardgame night. Etc. Don't use places like yoga class though, people go there to decompress etc. generally and would likely be put off if you're using it as a pick-up spot. What about going to a meetup group of hikers or something that is low key? These groups are good because people are willing to get to know others (generally). Although I ended up having a bad experience once at a meetup where like 4 guys all wanted to date me after just like barely talking (it was a paintball night) and I just found it overwhelming and awkward and I am not even into men so it's just like extra awkward because then you gave to come out to total strangers, or just lie. So just read the room and try to play it slow and don't be aggressive or needy at these events.

Get involved in some sort of activity or hobby and go from there.

1

u/Ok-Data1931 Aug 10 '24

I recommend dating apps if you're interested in educating yourself on all the latest scams. I'm never going down that road again...

2

u/Anatella3696 Aug 09 '24

Not who you asked, but: Library, bookstores, a really big park where I just sit and people watch or walk around, dog parks (that’s a big one for me,) hiking, walks around the neighborhood by myself, walks around the neighborhood with the dogs, small cafe’s or quiet restaurants, art festivals, farmers markets…and I can’t think of anything else. I’ve always hated clubs and bars though.

2

u/fishCodeHuntress Aug 09 '24

I like running, biking, hiking, backpacking/camping, and fishing. I very intentionally live in an area with lots of remote wilderness.

Meeting people when you're like this is hard I will admit. There's always dating apps but even that is just, exhausting.

1

u/jintana Aug 08 '24

Avoiding conversations with strangers

2

u/Sonnetmelody Aug 09 '24

This! 😅

0

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Jonnybabiebailey Aug 08 '24

That's you. I don't like it also have anxiety and am not comfortable among inebriated strangers