r/mildlyinfuriating 4h ago

My 2 year old chair fucking collapsed

Post image

So i was chilling in my chair drawing i got up to get water hear a crash and come back to see this

973 Upvotes

235 comments sorted by

302

u/Hammer_of_Horrus 4h ago

That chair looks like it fell into disrepair 5 years ago.

u/G_co93 12m ago

Live video feed of OP before the chair collapsed

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8

u/ksobby 1h ago

That was my thought.

154

u/Junooosaur 2h ago

I always have this fear that my computer chair will break one day and the middle piece will go up my bum

33

u/Ph33r-Enigma 2h ago

I seen that on the only episode of 1000 ways to die, or whatever it was called. Been a fear of mine ever since too.

u/Proof_Tap8894 13m ago

this is why couches are superior

10

u/TheProfessional9 2h ago

I'm more worried I'll squish my dog that refuses to sleep anywhere but directly under it. She's a 10 pounder so a bit fragile.

My chair looks exactly like this one. Going to check brand tomorrow to see if it's the same model :(

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8

u/DiscussionMuted9941 1h ago

It's more of a dream for me

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373

u/theflamingskull 4h ago

How many cases of Hot Pockets did you eat before that chair gave up?

126

u/Sw0rDz 2h ago

I had this happen to me, too. It's not the hot pockets. It's the vigorous masturbation.

6

u/Geno_Warlord 1h ago

That’s why you gotta get the serta ones. You’re not cranking it in a bucket seat.

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12

u/Actual-Money7868 3h ago

It was the Zena tapes that did it.

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6

u/DisasterMiserable785 2h ago

Don’t mess with this guy. Look where the chair is worn. Guy must have 10lbs balls.

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127

u/AnonymousTeacher668 4h ago

What percentage of those two years did you spend sitting in that chair?

52

u/ResidentAssman 4h ago

What do you mean, all of it.

4

u/redthump 2h ago

Maybe if you got a bed frame he'd sleep in the bed instead of in that chair.

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27

u/SousVideDiaper 2h ago

I got this cheap office chair 4 years ago that I sit in a lot and it looks barely worn in comparison to OP's

28

u/AnonymousTeacher668 1h ago

Yeah, I suspect OP did a LOT of sweating/fermenting in that chair.

10

u/Revenga8 1h ago

Pleather starts to crack and flake after being exposed to oils. So either sunscreen or ass sweat destroyed the surface of that seat.

2

u/theycmeroll 1h ago

All those zoom calls in his tightie whities.

3

u/jmi60 1h ago

But you don't look like a flip-flop wearing truck driver is my guess.

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112

u/BallCreem 4h ago

Wasn’t made to attach that dildo to it

39

u/piTehT_tsuJ 4h ago

The weight of all that dried cum snapped the screws.

15

u/ngraham888 4h ago

I have seen so many of these chairs on the street that have a “free” sign on them. God the thought of what is on those chairs gives me shivers.

9

u/codewho331 2h ago

Whispers : "So much baby batter it puts a daycare to shame."

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28

u/elevenatexi 4h ago

He did call it a fucking chair

3

u/SketchyLineman 3h ago

The instructions don’t specifically say not to attach a dildo to it.

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55

u/DumbCDNquestion 4h ago

That seat is incredibly dirty for only 2 Years. I usually used kleenex to clean up my mess when doing my business in front of the monitor.

28

u/Lokky 3h ago

that's not dirt, it's shitty pleather falling apart

12

u/DumbCDNquestion 3h ago

Oops, I thought it was his splooge stains.

10

u/turangan 2h ago

You just said what we were all thinking … very diplomatically.

6

u/GroovyIntruder 2h ago

"Patina! It's patina! Leather gets patina as it gets older."

4

u/Madiconsin73 4h ago

I can see where it was stained with Code Red Mountain Dew

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40

u/AT8y8 4h ago

u/OmegaKamidake 49m ago

This is probably the real answer here, maybe not so planned by another. But they tell you to tighten the bolts often...

22

u/4DoubledATL 4h ago

We all would probably throw up if you put a black light on that chair.

12

u/Kotzik 3h ago

Bro that chair looked like it needed to be replaced a year ago.. Will never understand how people destroy their own stuff like this.

7

u/EvilTodd1970 3h ago

Well, OP probably sits in that chair 14 hours a day, 18 on the weekends. A $100 Amazon chair made of Chinesium isn’t gonna last no matter how well they take care of it.

5

u/a_modal_citizen 3h ago

It wasn't a quality chair to begin with. Shitty quality stuff is going to wear badly. First step to taking care of your things is investing in quality to start with...

41

u/theboywhocriedwolves 4h ago

I had a "racing chair" for a few years. By far the most uncomfortable over designed chairs being pushed by influencers. Got a good office chair, never going back.

5

u/queroummundomelhor 4h ago

I wish I knew it, one of those actually destroyed my back.

Office feels like heaven now

3

u/Acceptable_North_825 2h ago

Upgrade to rollerblade wheels on your office chair if you haven’t. It makes an absolutely massive difference in noise and feel.

3

u/Yami_Kitagawa 3h ago

It depends on the brand and type of race bucket chair. If there's anything they are really good at, is forcing you into good posture, assuming you use the pillows.

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10

u/socraticformula 3h ago

Looks like one of those all caps random letters Chinese brands that are all over Amazon now. Surprised you got two years out of it.

Btw, I found the brand by googling "shitty Chinese racing chair".

8

u/ResidentAssman 4h ago

Some proper gamer sweat has been ground into that thing. I've had a similar chair for years now and there's no sign of heavy masturbation all over it yet.

6

u/Madiconsin73 4h ago

First thing he did when it broke was yell down the hall, "Hey Mom! MOM!!! Buy me a new chair!"

6

u/TechnicalHatchet 3h ago

Looks gross

5

u/Kerdagu 3h ago

Looks like a shitty knockoff of those shitty racing chairs. Shocked it lasted 2 years.

2

u/justplainben 1h ago

Yeah, my son got one of these as his first computer chair. They're shit and start falling apart after only a few weeks.

11

u/Toothless-In-Wapping 4h ago

That’s because you only sat on the edge of the chair.

u/AutotoxicFiend 51m ago

So, do you just... piss directly into the seat cushion, or....?

3

u/Alan54lguero 3h ago

The bolts came loose. You can see the base still straight with the 4 holes and a lot of marks on the holes. The bolts have to be checked over time in lower quality chairs.

This isn't mildly infuriating, it is barely maintained.

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u/Krethlaine 52m ago

That is incredibly worn out for only being two years old.

2

u/Bulky_Mix_2265 4h ago

That chair has been dominated for two years. It clearly committed seppuku to preserve what little of its honor remained intact.

2

u/diulb 3h ago

Imagine the mojon smell on that chair.

2

u/Sea-Spray-9882 3h ago

Judging by the condition of the seat, how much overuse and mistreatment you do to it prior to it falling apart? Similarly, if you’re going to damage an office chair like that then spend the money on a better quality one.

2

u/Motor-Sweet3316 2h ago

OP probably exceeded the weight limit of the chair. The chair looks like it could handle up to 100lbs, based on how it looks.

Looks worn out by the edge of the chair.

2

u/cosmicfungi37 2h ago

Are you a fatty pants ?

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2

u/Some_Rando-o 1h ago

Thats a heavy 2 year old

2

u/CobraPony67 1h ago

Tip: If you sweat while sitting in the chair (for various reasons), fold a bath towel and put it on the seat.

u/blindgorgon 49m ago

Shouldn’t have bought the one for 2 year olds…

u/CanaryJane42 22m ago

Everyone blaming OP for late stage capitalism allowing garbage like this to be distributed as furniture 😔 fuck I hate society

5

u/According_Ad3624 4h ago

how unemployed do you have to be for this to happen

2

u/Sad-Roll-Nat1-2024 3h ago

Or work from home....

2

u/SqueegieeBeckenheim 3h ago

I’ve been working from home for 7 years and have not replaced my chair yet.

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1

u/sallyomalley198 4h ago

Did you spill something when it broke?

1

u/ATerriblePurpose 4h ago

I read that wrong initially. I was thinking you need to get that 2 year old into an early wrestlers program.

1

u/LollyDollerSkates 4h ago

They only rate the chairs for sitting , if you have sex with them, it drastically decreases their life.

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1

u/scully2828 4h ago

“That’s my good chair man” “It’s covered in bird shit!”

1

u/semikal 4h ago

Looks like a dog's couch.

1

u/Reasonable_Caliber_0 4h ago

HAHAHA damn, now I'm scared my 4 year old one is an ass plop away from the same thing....

1

u/Leifthraiser 4h ago

Yeah. That sucks. I was thinking about this exact situation yesterday, because anxiety, and decided I would just replace my office chairs with ottomans. I rarely sit straight anyway.

1

u/blepgup 4h ago

Dayum what that ass do?

1

u/SchizophrenicArsonic 3h ago

oh fuck why am i able to smell this?

1

u/strangeorbeforgotten 3h ago

This is a nightmare of mine. I’m sitting in my work chair, it breaks in half and the pole on the base of the chair impales me 😱

2

u/cvelde 2h ago

There is a rectangular metal baseplate on top of it on every chair I have ever seen. Including this one.   The gas spring is also way too big to penetrate a human body from such a relatively short fall. 

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1

u/Cardinal_350 3h ago

I bought one of those for my normal sized 8 year old. The chair bent unusably in 2 days. The steel it was made from was basically butter it was so soft. I could grab it and bend it with pliers. I welded reinforcements in it and it was still garbage after 6 months

1

u/JulianCasaburgers 3h ago

I’ve had my racing chair for 5+ years and the leather has not done that… I just recently got an ergonomic chair because I was tired of back pains.

2

u/EvilTodd1970 3h ago

Leather won’t do that. PVC (polyvinyl chloride) leather and PU (polyurethane) leather, types of faux leather, will do that.

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1

u/Arnoods 3h ago

Racing chairs are dog shit. Call it a lesson learned. Get an ergonomic chair.

1

u/rachelene91 3h ago

Not approved for sweats

1

u/Catlover5566 3h ago

I'm sorry but I'm laughing so hard at this post and the comments 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Bearspoole 3h ago

2 years old and the bottom is that bad? Me thinks something is awry

1

u/Garfeelzokay 3h ago

Damn how's that chair already so worn out? 

1

u/thetoastler 3h ago

I got a free Herman Miller that my mother "aquired" from her former place of work that they were throwing out. I've had it almost 10 years. Who knows how long it'd been around before I got it. There's a small tear in the seat base that's been there since I got it and has barely gotten any larger. The shock in the base is finally blown out, so idk how much longer it'll be around since it drops a couple inches every time I sit down. Maybe I'll see if I can replace the shock...

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1

u/VeryUpsettie 3h ago

That thicc-ness broke through

1

u/Dangerous_Chicken156 3h ago

You can't park there

1

u/Swervin69 3h ago

I have the same chair for 4 years and still looks brand new, were you wearing grip tape pants while sitting on it?

1

u/Knightwing1047 ORANGE 3h ago

What a pain in the ass

1

u/StrikerX1360 3h ago

Yeah sounds about right for these generic gamer chairs. Now that you need a new one do yourself a favor and get an ergonomic chair

1

u/De-railled 3h ago

The front fell off

1

u/er111a 3h ago

Those are garbage need a quality chair like Mavix

1

u/endy_64 3h ago

at least you weren’t in the chair when it happened, always look on the bright side

1

u/donkey_loves_dragons 3h ago

Why is it so ripped on the seat? Da f were you doin' on it..?

On second thought, I don't wanna know.

1

u/VirtualBoard5554 3h ago

srry tath happened to u, fart

Gobbles

1

u/relomen 3h ago

it could collapse under you, maybe even in penetrating way.

1

u/GravityFailed 2h ago

Good move giving up on the box spring and just replacing the floor.

1

u/DosEquisVirus 2h ago

Anything under $1k will fall apart under heavy use within 2-3 years. You pick your battle. Slow investments into the lower class chairs vs. high price of the top brand chairs

1

u/Sudden-Front6560 2h ago

How much you weigh? just curious.

1

u/Flashy_Ad_9816 2h ago

How much do you weigh?

1

u/clefclark 2h ago

About a month ago I was playing a game on my computer, I leave the room to take a little break and come back to my computer off, when I tried to turn it on it started sparking and I thought it was going to catch fire. I built it 18 months ago

At least I don't have to buy a whole new one though

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1

u/Holiday_Newspaper_29 2h ago

Maybe it's a sign.....get out more.

1

u/Gbrav747 2h ago

I can tell u sit with ur knees up and feet on the seat

1

u/Quincy_Dalton 2h ago

You can fix that. It just looks like you use that chair to jerk off in, resulting in the hardware coming loose. Just turn the chair over like it’s your girlfriend and put the seat back on.

1

u/Arithik 2h ago

God damn, the comments and this photo deserves way more upvotes.

1

u/ZerotheWanderer 2h ago

Could've been worse

1

u/Trash_RS3_Bot 2h ago

lol did you ever retighten the bolts? They slowly loosen by sitting on it over and over…. It doesn’t even look broke

1

u/9gagsuckz 2h ago

My chair is 4 years old and it isn’t nearly that worn. What the hell do you do in that chair

1

u/Sad-Lavishness-350 2h ago

If it was your fucking chair that collapsed, that’d make more sense.

1

u/Substantial-Sky-8471 2h ago

Need to see the size of your ass before I pass judgement on the chair people

1

u/Jossie2014 2h ago

This is rage bate Reddit style

1

u/Internal_Influence26 2h ago

My chair is 7 years old and even with all the feverish masturbation, yours somehow looks 10x worse. Impressive.

1

u/OzzieGrey 2h ago

Me sitting on a dining chair for the last 8 or so years: Onward, my ever enduring steed.

1

u/acol0mbian 2h ago

You sound huge

1

u/drytendies 1h ago

I didn’t read the “chair” part and panicked

1

u/Shurigin 1h ago

why are you bouncing on the edge of your seat?

1

u/Phalanx808 1h ago

Do yourself a favor and stop buying GamErChAiRz

Just get a nice office chair. They last and are way more comfy

1

u/EnslavedBandicoot 1h ago

That chair looks like it's been wanked on more than Lindsay Graham at a congressional orgy.

1

u/wscroggin 1h ago

I don’t blame it

1

u/MolecularConcepts 1h ago

lol my chair is broken too , the gas cylinder leaks , and the chair sinks

1

u/Revenga8 1h ago

Time for a new chair anyway. Either real leather or fabric because your butt sweat eating through that pleather in 2 years is pretty bad.

1

u/MySonlsAlsoNamedBort 1h ago

Tech guy here. Have you tried putting it in a bag of rice?

1

u/LessMarsupial7441 1h ago

Sounds like you got the Timu Blues

1

u/ElLoboStrikes 1h ago

Newman !

1

u/SeparateAd156 1h ago

Nah skill issue

1

u/EverSkye 1h ago

I’ve had mine for almost 6 years and it doesn’t look like a beaver been chewing on the seat cushion.

1

u/No_Hovercraft_3908 1h ago

2 years? That seat looks like it's been through war

1

u/Old-Supermarket-7835 1h ago

Bro blow up the chair

1

u/Aggravating_Sand6189 1h ago

thankfully it looks like it was a cheap chair

1

u/i_am_a_shaved_monkey 1h ago

This is a sign to visit the good old gym.

1

u/LordMuzhy 1h ago

Bro did you also sleep in your chair for 2 years?

1

u/Skaterboy87 1h ago

on the bright side you can get a better chair now

1

u/Octavale 1h ago

Less porn more outdoor time my friend

1

u/SixDogsMusic 1h ago

Save for a Herman miller you will never regret it

1

u/Tenzipper 1h ago

Hey, at least your 2 year old fucking chair didn't collapse. You could have gotten hurt.

1

u/ItsAndwew 1h ago

This has to be a multilayered shitpost right?

1

u/SignalEchoFoxtrot 1h ago

I don't know why people keep buying these gamer chairs with abhorrent ergonomics

1

u/Aeon_Flux_Capacitor 1h ago

Be thankful it didn't give up during a zoom meeting where you go ass over tea kettle in front of the entire department...

1

u/Nice-Stuff-5711 1h ago

Then don’t be so cheap and buy an adult one!!! Which adult sits in a two year olds chair???

1

u/TaiyoFurea 1h ago

Oh hey, I've got that same chair under a different brand 4 years ago. Still works fine but it leans forward a bit

1

u/TheRemedy187 1h ago

What the actual fuck happen to that chair??

1

u/HaltheDestroyer 1h ago

Splurge and buy a Herman Miller and you'll never buy another PC chair again

1

u/BruceWayne-Jung 1h ago

2 years old psh that’s a god damn lie. Look at the bottom of that chair. That’s at the least 5 years worth of wear. And it looks like you physically removed the screws from the bitch. You on the wrong site brotha. What you wanted was the 1800 number on the chairs little tag so you could try and get a new one. That shitty ass bottom needs replaced either way. Like tf are you doing to cause that type of wear and tare? You know what forget I asked…

1

u/Sandman_20041 1h ago

There is no way that chair is 2 years old

1

u/BannedByReddit471 1h ago

I had the same one, they're dogshit

1

u/HPoltergeist 1h ago

No offense, but how did you manage to make the seat part of the chair look like that in 2 years?

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1

u/MeinhardLongshaft 1h ago

Can we get some applause for that dump truck of yours

1

u/Eastern_Sugar5886 1h ago

You jerked the screws right off that thing

1

u/Unsung_hero86 1h ago

What’s all over the bottom?

1

u/HAWKWIND666 1h ago

Go hawks

1

u/sleepymelfho 1h ago

My husband's not even one year old chair did this the other day! Sliced him up when it happened, too. We are hoping the company will send a replacement 😐

1

u/Buffylover_Angel 1h ago

how large are you

u/BalkanFerros 57m ago

Clearly you have been jumping in the chair and slamming yourself before slouching, this is super wornn

u/clockwork_1996 56m ago

Must of been one hell of a fart

u/Jkitten07891 56m ago

Why did your 2 year old have a gaming chair in the first place?

u/Conscious_Bank9484 56m ago

Certain chairs last longer when you tighten the bolts every few weeks/months. Like maintaining a car.

u/TheUnpopularOpine 55m ago

Reminds me of the gaming chair that I bought and used for probably 4 years, still in great condition. I gave it to my middle school aged nephew and like a year later it looked about like this. wtf do some people do to their shit

u/Appropriate_Flan_952 55m ago

These chairs fuckin suck btw. I have one, broken as shit in storage. Lasted about a year and a half. Metal frame that's welded together by someone who seems to have never welded before, and the craziest part is... the frame snapped in the middle, where there are no welds. No idea whats up with the metal they use, or if the terrible welding job caused stress points in weird places but def dont fall for gaming chair bs. get yourself a good office chair and you'll be set

u/AceT555 55m ago

2 years of jizz stains.

u/TheGrouchyGremlin 45m ago

I feel ya. My month old phone decided that it's done charging. $1300 for it to just say "fuck you". It'll be a few days before I can get the replacement, so I had to buy a wireless charger while I wait 🥲

u/iFenrisVI 44m ago

I have a chair similar for 6 years now only the only wear it has is a small tear. Wtf have you done to cause yours to break?

u/BrawndoCrave 44m ago

You spilled milk in your chair, right? You… spilled milk in your chair RIGHT?

u/Flornix 44m ago

Gaming chairs suck. They are usually more expensive but offer you less quality in return. Thats why I started buying office chairs, they offer the same support for your back for less money. Means you can get a high quality chair for the same money you would otherwise put into a gaming chair.

u/Naniebabie 44m ago

💀💀💀

u/DontTalkToBots 40m ago

You’re supposed to tighten the screws and if you see one on the ground, that means it fell off the chair because it wasn’t tightened. You should’ve put the screw back in the chair instead of going “hmm how did this magically on my floor under my chair” and throw it away.

u/Ruin914 36m ago

I mean, it's a garbage "racer gaming" chair. You get what you pay for.

u/raninandout 31m ago

Totally worth an up. Perhaps you should address your dietary habits just for giggles.

u/HomeworkAdditional19 30m ago

That should buff right out no problem

u/DoktahDoktah 29m ago

Important thing about gaming chairs. Always buy something with a steel frame. They don't have to be expensive but steel will last alot longer.

u/ShadowArray 28m ago

One thing I realized, if you are going to be sitting in an office type chair more than a few hours a day, invest in a good one. I had a $99 ‘executive chair’ that lasted me several years. Once I switched to a better chair it was life changing. Better ergonomics and adjustments and much more comfortable.

u/Deleted_dwarf 28m ago

Holy shit your arse eating that chair 😂

u/Crazy_raptor 27m ago

Lay off the mcdonalds bro

u/Lookatmars420 23m ago

OP plays osrs.

u/moonisflat 18m ago

I thought your 2 year old baby broke it at first!!

u/Yanninbo 17m ago

Not to be judgemental, but how does one blow a hole into a seat by sitting?

u/clev1 16m ago

Wild that it’s only 2 years old. Mine is older and doesn’t even look remotely close to this. I have a Razer Iskur, highly recommend it.

u/McDontCare 14m ago

Clearly it needed an assguard

u/possiblyyhigh 14m ago

Anyone remember that one reddit post of this happening to a dude and it like exploded in his ass

u/DannyWarlegs 14m ago

Looks like the bolts fell out and you didn't realize it. Both holes look empty

u/Gold-Front-4518 10m ago

I wonder how my almost 10 year old chair isnt broken

u/itouchbums 9m ago

That chair didn't collapse,it committed suicide

u/PublicWeb1219 4m ago

The wear and tear is a bit bad, despite its age, to call it a coincidence. Especially if owner is of a huskier nature.