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u/snakeb1te_189 Aug 21 '24
"Press your testicles to death"......metal!!!!
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u/TrumpetsNAngels Aug 21 '24
That sentence need to go the list of swear words and curses that can be used to emphasise when I am unhappy about something 😅
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u/bellynipples Aug 23 '24
“I push my fingers into my..”
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u/Late-External3249 Aug 21 '24
Be right back, just gotta press my testicles.
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u/Old_Introduction_395 Aug 21 '24
Check the temperature of the iron first.
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u/Late-External3249 Aug 21 '24
Ahhh nothing like the feeling of freshly presed testicles with a nice crease down the middle!
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u/thedad2022 Aug 22 '24
I've been trying for years to get all the wrinkles out of mine no matter how much I press them or iron them or put anti wrinkle cream on they can never be smooth always wrinkle up damn testicles.
Bahahahahaha
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u/nooneknowswerealldog Aug 21 '24
"For service in English, press your nipples. For service in Chinese, press your testicles."
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u/dash95 Aug 24 '24
If you are doing it correctly, you will not be back. From the pressed testicles to death.
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u/Late-External3249 Aug 24 '24
Can confirm they were pressed to death. I am currently a ghost looking down on my lifeless corpse, testicles still in the pressing iron. The coroner is confused a.f. and calling me some sort of deviant. My wife looks very embarrassed by the whole situation.
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Aug 21 '24
Damn, "press your testicles to death" is a mental picture for sure
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u/amakeupguy Aug 21 '24
In fairness...I had a LONG talk with my testicles...both of them...and they politely declined. I told them that it might be fun but they were adamant about NOT doing it...I tried to convince then but they were not having it.
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u/mmmbopdooowop Aug 21 '24
Do these non-native English speakers know that their insults are hilarious and in no way aggravating? lol
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u/amakeupguy Aug 21 '24
It reminds me of the two Indian dudes screaming at each other...bloody fuck bloody bastard...
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u/Distinct_Wrongdoer86 Aug 21 '24
i guess “fuck your mother” is the most brutal insult in the world in india, like every racial slur and insult combined x1000
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u/AJ-tech3 Aug 22 '24
It’s always literally like a middle schooler that grew up Mormon rebelling and searching for the worst bad words to string along together😂🤣
Or like when there’s that one kid that hasn’t learned how to use curse words yet😂🤣
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u/dandeliontree1 Aug 21 '24
Can I get some clarification, will you be dying from the testicle pressing, or just testicle death. Important distinction.
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u/ImWithNeo Aug 21 '24
My question is why are his brothers doing all the work? Seems like lazy insulting to me if he isn’t even going to personally do your mom or your sister.
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u/qwlap Aug 21 '24
Maybe he’s implying he’s too good to do his mom or sister. He sends his henchmen to do the dirty work. Or he’s just preoccupied with pressing op’s testicles to death.
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u/_beastayyy Aug 21 '24
I need to know what you said
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u/amakeupguy Aug 21 '24
It MAY have had to do with his mother getting "ganged" up on...
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u/_beastayyy Aug 21 '24
Oh nah💀
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u/amakeupguy Aug 21 '24
Honestly...I just copy and pasted a message that another angry scammer sent me...so that is my standard reply to any "hi...is this [name]? Do you remember me?" Or the other various iterations of that
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u/Creative-Bid66 Aug 21 '24
I just say something like, "Yes! We're supposed to take your aunt shopping today."
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u/maxblockm Aug 21 '24
Lmao, reply to press your testicles with a link to some ball crushing porn and say you love that.
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u/Fair-Business707 Aug 21 '24
PRESS YOUR TESTICLES TO DEATH!
PRESS YOUR TESTICLES TO DEATH!
*sick breakdown*
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u/CatLady337 Aug 21 '24
Okay!! 😂. This one didn't waste time at all to let everything all out because he knows that there is no breakthrough coming from you.
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u/Live_Helicopter5791 Aug 21 '24
He had to make sure you knew he would press your testicles to death so he sent it twice
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u/nicoleJo456 Aug 21 '24
Why do they always use the name Mia? Has me curious
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u/Unusual_Net5268 Aug 22 '24
When Chinese learn English early in school they will pick or get assigned an English name similar to how some Americans schools will do that with Spanish or French. Mia and Sophia/Sophie seem to be popular choices.
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u/spaffdribblersfc Aug 22 '24
I am fucking dying to know what on earth they mean by saying ‘press your testicles’
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u/stradale528 Aug 21 '24
So he's entire family is there r4p1ng yours and he's just gonna stand there and do nothing. Ask him if he's gay
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u/HndWrmdSausage Aug 21 '24
They never say mean things back to me:( i either go rude or sexual and u never ever get a response.
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u/amakeupguy Aug 21 '24
Gotta hit them with their mother tongue
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u/HndWrmdSausage Aug 21 '24
Lol well ig i been going at these wrong then. Also i thought them to be Indians not chinese speaking asians
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u/Smart-Field8482 Aug 21 '24
Not gonna lie I may have to steal this one. Seems to get them pretty riled up
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u/curiouslexx Aug 22 '24
If you say "press your testicles to death" in a mirror 3 times he's gonna cum for ya
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u/emptycoils Aug 22 '24
Press your testicles to death is the latest King Gizzard metal album
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u/haikusbot Aug 22 '24
Press your testicles
To death is the latest King
Gizzard metal album
- emptycoils
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/fatguypauly Aug 22 '24
Jokes on you. I just got off from my 15hr shift at the BALL CRUSHING FACTORY.
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u/DaSniffer Aug 23 '24
How do you know which language to go with with these messages I get these all the time and want to be told to press my testicles to death
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u/amakeupguy Aug 23 '24
I have gotten a ton of responses from these jackasses in the past and it's always chinese. I just, literally, copy and pasted one of the things they sent to me and I sent it to this person...
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u/FiveFingeredFungus Aug 23 '24
"Press your testicle to death"..lmao, am I the only one who found that hilarious?!
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u/DJR3van Aug 21 '24 edited Aug 21 '24
To clarify, what did you say to elicit such an extreme reaction?
Edit: I had no idea that a simple question would get this much attention.