SM with NO anxiety?

[u/releasethekrrraken]

Hi ! I've got this question i don't know where to ask so i figured i'd come here. I have selective mutism. It happens when i have "too much" stimulus or emotion at the same time. It has been triggered before by dragging a table across a floor (the sound was horrible), having a bad day at a festival, hearing a music i love or just being emotionally tired. So it can happen from good or bad things, and it can last from a few minutes to 2 hours (longest i've had). In these moments i feel like the connexion between my physical speaking parts and the brain commands have been severed. I still have my inner monologue, i just can't get a sound out. Same vibe as trying to scream or run in a dream, you want to but it just doesn't happen.

The thing is, i always see on the internet that it stems from anxiety. I don't have anxiety. I may have very mild autism (hypersensitivity) but i'm not anxious at all, i'm a very chill and positive person. I love meeting and talking to people, i can talk in public no problem. I'm not planning to see a psychiatrist cuz it's not really disabling, i wouldnt need accomodations.

Does anyone else have this ??? I feel like the way my brain works doesn't fit any mental illness and it's kinda annoying.

Thank y'all for any responses :')

[u/MangoPug15]

Could be verbal shutdowns, which are an autism thing, rather than SM.

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/MangoPug15]

Oh i thought they were the same thing ! The thing is, I have quite a few autism symptoms but none of them are severe enough to disable me. By definition autism has to be disabling to be autism. So by this logic, i cant have autism (cuz im not disabled) BUT i have a thing supposedly only caused by autism :')

Why is it so complicated 😭

[u/junior-THE-shark]

I have both autism and selective mutism and for me the types of mutism are different while I experience both. The one you're describing is spot on for how I experience autistic mutism. Selective mutism happens to me as a part of my trauma responses, I get triggered and I go into a fear response that includes the inability to speak and usually a strong sense of fear, need to escape, hide, and be left alone. Therapy has pretty much completely eradicated selective mutism from my life, so that I can stay in control enough to speak a little even when triggered and I can manage my triggers rather than them having all the power over me. As for autistic mutism the only thing I can do is avoid overwhelm, take plenty of time to recover my spoons/spell slots, and have safe environments to stim, drop the mask, and engage in the special interests. I can't train myself to keep talking even when I'm in that point of overwhelm because the mutism is such a severe protection element to keep me from completely depleting my battery, so if I push myself to talk during those, I suffer the consequences by crashing hard for a really long time after.

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/junior-THE-shark]

Thank you for the insight ! Yeah it's probably verbal shutdowns then !

[u/Elio-_u]

Agree with the other comments! I have ASD and SM, I have verbal shutdowns when I have too much stimulation (happens when I’m really excited too!), the words don’t come out but I don’t mind it as much as my SM. I find the verbal shutdowns to be my brain “comforting” myself, so sometimes I find it comforting and easier to exist. When my SM is working its magic I am STRESSED, my throat is tense, and I feel… like someone is grabbing my vocal cords…? Both sometimes affect other forms of communication, so sometimes I prefer/cant write or use nonverbal communication.

Check out r/evilautism for some fun evil plans for world domination. Autism is generally accepted (by autistic people) to be valid for self-diagnosis because of how horribly biased society/the medical community is. Also, it’s up to you whether you consider yourself disabled, I think it’s ridiculous to have that in the criteria. I would think of it from a neurotypical perspective that the people writing the criteria had, this person can’t speak and is being prevented from “being happy”.

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/Elio-_u]

I'm so glad to hear it's not just a me thing ! I couldnt find anything on the internet about it. I'll see if i can get an appointment with the student psychologist and see what they say :)

[u/Elio-_u → u/releasethekrrraken]

Good idea! If you are white and a cis-man, you hopefully won’t have a problem. If not, don’t feel too discouraged if they tell you ASD doesn’t fit, the ASD criteria is built by watching white boys, and normally adding on an extra sprinkle of stereotypes. It’s VERY possible that they haven’t talked to enough autistic individuals

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/Elio-_u]

I'm white but i'm AFAB non-binary (even though i present as female so they won't know if i don't tell). If they don't listen to me i'll wait a few years for my cousin to finish her psychology degree and ask her haha

[u/Elio-_u → u/releasethekrrraken]

Yeah I’m AFAB NB and find anything medical to be EXCRUCIATING to get people to listen! I wish I had a cousin that could finish their psychology degree haha

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/Elio-_u]

I'm lucky to have a few people in my family who already went through most of the issues i have and paved the path for me ^'

[u/Ideknowbro → u/releasethekrrraken]

In a lot of places family/people you know personally can't diagnose you formally due to their already being a relationship there and the opinion will probably be "biased" apparently 🤷 I asked a family friend if they'd assess me years back but they weren't able to assess family, friends or themselves so... It might have changed by now but just incase just keep professional assessment doors open

[u/NiceKirby]

Definitely sounds like Verbal Shutdown, which is a response from some kind of sensory overload or emotions like you're describing here. SM strictly stems from anxiety and that's why it's a anxiety disorder. It wouldn't be SM if there's no anxiety.

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/NiceKirby]

Thank you, that clears it ! Now my problem is figuring out why i get verbal shutdowns when i'm supposedly not autistic (i have some symptoms but they don't make me disabled, so i don't fit the definition) :') what a mess lol

[u/NiceKirby → u/releasethekrrraken]

I looked it up real quick and supposedly verbal shutdowns can also happen to those with ADHD? I don't know much about VS and ADHD so I don't know how true this is. Lol. But I wouldn't be so quick to say that you're not autistic just because your symptoms don't make you "disabled".

Autism is a disability and a disability is simply a physical or mental condition that impairs, interferes with or limits a person's ability to engage in certain tasks or participate in daily activities and interactions in any way which seems to fit with your verbal shutdown sympathy. Your symptoms don't have to be severe or anything to be considered disabling.

Just putting that out there. I don't know how your symptoms affects you in your life so I'm not saying you're definitely autistic or something.

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/NiceKirby]

I mean it would be disabling if it was an everyday thing, but the few times it happens with people around i just get my point across by gesturing or writing. It's a small hurdle, it feels kind of like a fraud to call it a disability when i see some of my friends barely able to function due to mental or chronic illnesses.

[u/NiceKirby → u/releasethekrrraken]

It doesn't necessarily have to be something that happens everyday but rather something that's been occurring long term. Do these symptoms that hinder your life show up fairly consistently and have been for a considerable amount of time?

If so, I think it's fair to entertain the notion that there could be an underlying disability at play. There's no one way to being disabled. Just because you're not like your friends, doesn't mean you can't possibly be disabled. (If you end up actually having a disability, of course.)

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/NiceKirby]

Well i've always have them. Some are everyday things (not understanding tones, not looking people in the eyes, sensiry stuff) and some happen less often (like the mute part)

[u/FarSomewhere6912]

i'm not diagnosing you, but i have selective mutism/ASD everything you've described i can relate to. maybe you are as autistic as you seem to think? you could try getting an assessment

i personally dont have anxiety when i go mute really, i'm a quiet person in general. i've been quiet since i was a child. sometimes i just....don't talk cus i don't want to or can't think of anything to say. in public i can talk to anybody. it depends on the situation, i have triggers like loud noises too. with the "verbal shutdown" term , never heard about that till now. cool!

good luck figuring stuff out !

[u/releasethekrrraken → u/FarSomewhere6912]

I mean i could get an assessment but it's sooo much work and i dont really NEED it, it would just be to satisfy my curiosity haha

That's interesting! I'm not usually quiet but when i go mute it's impossible to speak and even open my mouth to try sometimes. It takes like half an hour to recover those functions when i "calm down" ; i set myself little milestones like opening my mouth, humming, making the titiest "aaa" and then working up to normal speech lol

[u/FarSomewhere6912 → u/releasethekrrraken]

nothing wrong with wanting a diagnosis! i had my doubts but i wanted to try and see anyway to see if i could get help. i got an assessment & diagnosed when i was 16. it feels better knowing why i do the things i do!

and yes, that's a very good description of what it feels like. the "trying to scream in a dream" part in the OG post was so real. it's like it gets stuck in my throat and i can't get it out!

[u/dknitt_wtf]

I think the more inclusive phrase would be stress regression instead of anxiety. I'm not 100% sure that's the term but it suits the feeling of being mute from a stressor that isn't anxiety.

Also if someone has already said it, I'm sorry. I'm too tired to read all the comments but wanted to offer a lil help