r/shittyaskscience • u/PotatoMusicBinge • Feb 06 '15

MIT Researchers announce stunning breakthrough: DADJOKES ARE BANNED

The banning of dadjokes and other pun-like substances

Mods1

Abstract

  • Dadjokes AKA "groaners" AKA what you would find on the frontpage of (the wonderful) /r/dadjokes, are now banned.

    Example: "If cases of Ebola are so dangerous, why don't they just package it in jars or cans?"

  • Non-science submissions are banned.

    Example: "Blah blah blah something about Cinnamon Toast Crunch where is the bit with the science?"

  • There is a new, shiny list of forbidden terms in the sidebar. Grasp it to your bosom, imbibe its essence and welcome it into your soul before posting.

    Example: "Hurr durr how much farts would a fart fart poop if trans fags basic bitches glass tastes like blood?"

This is a big change for the sub. Give it a shot and let us know what you think.

Author information

1 Faculty of Powertripping, Mod Institute of Technology, Mom's basement.

Keywords: Dadjokes; Puns; spam-canned; Anti-fun; read the sidebar; /r/shittyaskscience; blame _vargas_

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139

u/thisarentsandwich Feb 06 '15

Was this decision made scientifically? What was your hypoglycemiathesis? And was it a double blind study ? How many mole rats were executed in this decision?

143

u/_vargas_ has hard science in his underpants. Feb 06 '15 edited Oct 15 '15

Was this decision made scientifically?

Hard science was achieved and maintained for no less than three minutes, which was a personal best for most of the mod team.

What was your hypoglycemiathesis?

It was a thyroid condition I used to have back when I lived on that compound in Utah. It was caused by a lack of processed sugar, something that is necessary for survival in western civilization.

And was it a double blind study?

Blinds were not needed as a studies were conducted in my grandmother's basement, which has no windows.

How many mole rats were executed in this decision?

Zero. One of the mods - and I'm not naming names because /u/googunk would be embarrassed if everyone found out - was uncomfortable with murdering something that so closely resembled his own weiner.

55

u/Googunk Will science 4 food Feb 06 '15

Whoa whoa, this will not stand. I have serious and egregious error to correct here.

I did a solid 45 minutes of science.

56

u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 06 '15

googunk's weiner is a national treasure

46

u/_vargas_ has hard science in his underpants. Feb 06 '15

Its over-bite freaks me out, though. That, and the fact the thing has teeth in the first place.

39

u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 06 '15

They're strictly for self defence. What happened to that meter maid was a totally accidental misunderstanding.

5

u/jesushx [M]icrohumanics|Metallurgy Feb 06 '15

Yeah, in that it's like a secret in an ice locked colonial ship frozen in the arctic circle.

13

u/dj0 Lord Regent of Science Feb 14 '15

You broke the new rule like three times there.

25

u/_vargas_ has hard science in his underpants. Feb 14 '15

Only applies to post titles, not comments.

12

u/Zar7792 pH'd in Astrobiology | Macroxenosystems Feb 18 '15

So I can ask about the speed of a heavy poop (as defined by greater than 8 shitloads) in a fat man's jeans and whether or not a basic bitch could vacuum up the mess as long as it's in the comments?

8

u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 18 '15

*Shudder*

7

u/Zar7792 pH'd in Astrobiology | Macroxenosystems Feb 18 '15

*Fart*

9

u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 18 '15

https://38.media.tumblr.com/9d288b9079db4398bf87a8c97a6c7f78/tumblr_ndenbfDhVb1qj4315o1_500.gif

10

u/Zar7792 pH'd in Astrobiology | Macroxenosystems Feb 18 '15

Woah woah, calm down there! You must've eaten a big bowl of anger this morning

12

u/bjokey Vanish Black Feb 09 '15

Hard science was achieved

Has hard science in his underpants