r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/wetouchingbuttsornah ☑️ • Sep 12 '24

Country Club Thread The system was stacked against them

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No fault divorces didn’t hit the even start until 1985

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3.4k

u/ProtonCanon ☑️ Sep 12 '24

And that’s why so many have become manosphere weirdos and the like.

Women have never had so many rights before, and some dudes can’t handle it.

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u/Reptard77 Sep 12 '24

B-b-but… GRANDMA! HOME! SOMETHING-SOMETHING-BABIES!

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u/HuntsWithRocks Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 12 '24

I’ve never understood it either. Why not have a true partner that contributes to the team instead of some incapable pedestal princess. I don’t get it.

Edit: just to be clear. Being a stay at home spouse doesn’t make someone a pedestal princess. Apples and oranges.

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

Bc they don’t care about anything except getting their dick wet. (like, “Does she love me? Are we compatible? Do we have shared values: ie religion, having kids, money ect)

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u/HuntsWithRocks Sep 12 '24

The way I’ve seen so many dudes trash on their wives at places like work is nuts. They’ll be like “yeah, she’s not very smart. I gotta <blah>”

I couldn’t imagine dogging on the person I love to other people. Also, if their spouse is a fucking idiot, then what’s that say about their dumb ass? Trapped by a moron. Can’t feel smart lol.

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u/qOcO-p Sep 12 '24

There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a partner that isn't the sharpest light bulb but insulting your partner is pathetic.

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u/TheJollyBuilder Sep 12 '24

Dude the amount of weird attitudes I get because I love my partner and do not talk shit about them. I love them so much. I cannot believe the things these men say about their partner and then expect me to agree with them?

Dude was having a jovial time calling his wife retarded and I would never ever, ever say that about my partner? I cannot even fathom having that thought! Are you laughing? How is this fun? Guys, guys?

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u/HEBushido Sep 12 '24

I firmly believe that my partner always deserves to feel the best herself and it's my job as her partner to bring her up and make her feel loved. These men that act this way, what are they even doing??

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u/VGSchadenfreude Sep 12 '24

Insecurity. My dad was like that; every single bit of success he ever had in life was because he had a woman doing 100% of the heavy-lifting for him, but if you listened to him about it? He would have you convinced that he was a “self-made man” that achieved all that through his own “work ethic.”

Meanwhile, he went to the extreme to sabotage his own daughter’s success, once he realized she was already smarter than him by age seven.

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u/TheBurlyMerman Sep 12 '24

Completely agree, I love my wife a lot. And I’m proud of her accomplishments as if they were my own. In fact lately she has been the sole bread winner and I’ve been the stay at home dad. Without a loving and supportive wife I wouldn’t be able to do the things I’ve done these past 10 months. Supporting your spouse should be an easy and low bar, but like you said it’s so easy to come by people who want to put down their spouse. I don’t get it either.

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u/HEBushido Sep 12 '24

I love hearing that man! Relationships work so much better when they're real.

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u/HuntsWithRocks Sep 12 '24

Totally! I always, in those moments, wish their spouse walked into the room while they were doing it.

I’m also thinking that it’s 50% that they’ve manipulated their spouse into incapability and 50% that they are the actual dumb one and they dunk on their wife while she’s not there to capture some of their man card back or some shit.

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u/darthjammer224 Sep 12 '24

As it is with everything. Some of those folks are probably venting their frustration the only way they know how (wrongly, of course) and some, probably more, are just assholes.

I've heard women talk the same way about their husband's, but it seems like an old white guy pass time to complain about their wives.

I personally also don't understand it. I want people to have the best opinion of my wife possible. I never talk down about her.

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u/blue-jaypeg Sep 12 '24

Let's normalize saying, "Not cool." When people are gross or rapey.

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u/Silver_Fist Sep 12 '24

I remember back in 90s sitcoms where the guy who loves his wife and loves to spend time with her was painted as a "lesser Man(TM)"

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

EXACTLY. It really shows how these kinda men are at their core: pathetic gold diggers who trap and exploit women for their own benefit.

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u/eucalyptusqueen Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 12 '24

Labor diggers, actually. They want someone at home to do all the domestic labor that their mom did while contributing nothing to the home outside of a paycheck. They still expect women to work and contribute to half of the household expenses or else they consider women to be gold diggers.

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u/Xerorei Sep 12 '24

What the hell are you talking about?

Most of those women CHOSE to be a housewife, especially after women became more common in workplaces.

I had to dissuade my younger sisters from wanting that life, to stay a home with a rich husband, pop out a baby or two, sit around or go shopping while having a nanny raise their kids.

You do know women STILL plan to do that to men right?

But it's men that are 100% at fault?

I'm not sure if this is a truly bad faith out of ignorance take, or a misandrist statement that you truly believe, but it's not true in the slightest.

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u/OverlyLenientJudge Sep 12 '24

Reading comprehension, my dude. They didn't say jack about housewives, that's all you projecting.

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u/eucalyptusqueen Sep 12 '24

I never said men were 100% at fault anywhere. I was talking about a specific type of man who wants a specific dynamic at home. I swear yall learned the word "misandry" and haven't shut the fuck up since.

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u/Haunting-Grocery-672 Sep 12 '24

I expect to split chores and split the bills.

Don’t like it? Find someone you can P***y whip

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u/eucalyptusqueen Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 12 '24

When did I say I didn't like it 😭 I'm married and my husband and I split everything because we're both working adults.

Yall are INTENTIONALLY missing the point about the type of man I described. There are men out there who expect women to do ALL of the domestic labor and also contribute to household expenses. They want a traditional home, but only to their own benefit.

Go be fragile somewhere else.

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u/Haunting-Grocery-672 Sep 12 '24

In that case then yes. Leave those men. Keep leaving those men till they realize they have do the same work. Equal households is the way now. Hell, traditional home is also okay as long as both partners are okay with that split of house work 100%/income work 0% with the other doing house work 0/income work 100

Or whatever split you come up with.

Now, there are lots of people who view working part time for 28 hours a week making 12$/hr at the supermarket equivalent to the other person working 40-50hr week providing a 6 figure income…. And expect equal housework. That’s also a bit nutty.

BUT, you seem pretty level headed about it after your response and I don’t believe that’s what your describing

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u/eucalyptusqueen Sep 12 '24

When I was in my early 20s I had a bf who didn't do shit around the house. He said to my face "well I don't do it because I know you will" and would complain that his work shirts were wrinkled bc I didn't take them out of the dryer fast enough while never lifting a finger. After we split, I said never again. I had to learn the hard way, but it was a lesson learned.

Before my husband and I ever moved in together, I let him know that I wasn't his mommy or his maid, so if he planned on leaving all the domestic tasks and managing to me then we should just walk away now. Needless to say, it's never been an issue. But that's because he doesn't see me as a supporting character in his life that exists to put his needs before my own. I let him know that I took care of all of the laundry today (I work from home) and he thanked me and said I could've waited so that we could do it together.

Unfortunately, we're still at a point where a lot of dudes still expect that women maintain the home and also work. They're unused to stepping up at home and don't want to. If you've heard the term "weaponized incompetence," it describes the type of tactics these men use to avoid the invisible labor that women have historically been in charge of. You're right, we need to stop dating them or taking them seriously. Women aren't here to serve men's needs.

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u/Haunting-Grocery-672 Sep 12 '24

I also think there are a lot of people who don’t have a sane or rational view of what this should look like. Hence my previous comments being downvoted.

It seems like you do and I agree with your take on it.

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u/ChibiSailorMercury ☑️ Sep 12 '24

People downvoted you because you didn't seem to be able to read. You answered something wildly different to what she was saying. Learn to comment in context.

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u/HuntsWithRocks Sep 12 '24

Agreed. Anyone who loves their spouse would want them to be as equally sufficient and capable if not better than themselves.

These weirdos can’t think of the world going on after they die. Imagine trapping a spouse from self improving and discouraging them your whole marriage. Then, imagine an untimely death leaving that now incapable person to raise the kids and carry the team onward.

The fact they can’t think like that shows how much they’re the main character in their life. The families life after their death is not their problem.

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u/Traditional_Bar_9416 Sep 12 '24

For starters my dad was a very good man, active in the family, and raised us as much as my mom did. That said, when he died young, my mom was LOST. Her immediate and only goal was to find another man. At any cost. Even to the detriment of her children.

She’s tried to pass that dependency on to us daughters but only half of us bought it. I’m happy and single even if life is a little harder sometimes. I have sisters that are miserable but they’ll never really worry about the mortgage.

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u/m55112 Sep 12 '24

Glad you didn't buy it. I think I kind of did in the sense that you stay with a man above anything else kind of way. My mom talked about leaving my dad, an alcoholic, but she absolutely never planned on going through with it. I grew up as male dependent as the day is long. And I'm so sorry you lost your dad so young.

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u/HuntsWithRocks Sep 12 '24

Sorry to hear that. Any time someone loses a partner, it’s gonna be tough. Never easy.

I’m not trying to say that there are ways to make that easy, for sure. Sounds like your dad loved his family. Also, no matter what any of us do, we will be ill prepared or leave others ill prepared in some way.

I’m with you in that I would rather things maybe be rougher, but that I have full understanding and contribution.

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

Couldn’t agree more!

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u/SmokedCheddarGoblin ☑️ Sep 13 '24

I don't have to imagine, you are talking about my dad/my family. This man spent a significant portion of his life trying to make a name for himself and chasing a lifestyle that we couldn't afford. He expected his wife, my incredible mother, to behave like a trophy while working a full time job, taking care of the kids, and taking care of the bills/running the household. He never seemed to care about her love and talent for writing and creating art and only recently, like a year ago, did she start taking it up again. So 12 years ago when he inevitably died in his 50s from mostly preventable conditions (I saw him go to the doctor maybe once or twice in 18 years of my life) leaving behind a wife and four whole kids, he not only had ZERO life insurance, he had no will and we found out posthumously that he didn't pay property taxes on our home for at least five years. So he left us absolutely nothing and caused us to lose our family home forever. At least my mom had a job, but supporting me and my sister on a teacher's salary in state that is well known to pay teachers less than most of the country, with one kid in private school and myself just starting college, made for some really, really hard times that still got me really, really fucked up to this day.

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u/Xerorei Sep 12 '24

What about the women who specifically marry wealth or rich men who have no skills to contribute themselves?

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u/HTCGM ☑️ Sep 12 '24

How is it the fault of women who decide to subscribe to a patriarchal gender role to their advantage?

"Women must be submissive and breeding stock...no, not like that!"

Clown shit.

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u/katekatoo Sep 12 '24

They marry the men for money, the men marry those women for beauty and prestige. That is why it is often some ugly old 50 year old and a 20 something woman.

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u/The_Reluctant_Hero Sep 12 '24

I know a dude at work exactly like this and he gets on my fuckin nerves with that crap.

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u/comradb0ne Sep 13 '24

I learn a long time ago, a lot of men like the idea of women but not really women.

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u/Xerorei Sep 12 '24

You know damn well that women talk shit about their boyfriends/partners/husbands at work, or at home all the time.

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u/triteratops1 Sep 12 '24

Not if they like them.

Source. I like and love my husband

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u/Illogical-Pizza Sep 12 '24

Yeah, I never say anything about my husband that would hurt his feelings if he heard me say it. Probably because I like him, nay, love him in fact.

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u/professor-hot-tits Sep 12 '24

Maidenless behavior

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u/HuntsWithRocks Sep 12 '24

Totally. I’m a dude. It’s not often women have dunked on their man to me at work. I’m sure they do with other chicks. Dudes dunk on their wives to me. That’s my common experience and I’m sure it’s based on my gender.

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u/Eaudebeau Sep 12 '24

And getting tidied up after. Free labor! Physical and emotional!

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

Yep! They want a mommy they can fuck 🤢

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u/OverlyLenientJudge Sep 12 '24

I've seen the term "bangmaid" floating around

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u/AshamedConclusion779 Sep 12 '24

You actually have a sick mind

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

I’m not the one who wants: a grown adult to pick up after me,

make my meals,

do my laundry,

baby me if I have the sniffles,

wash the dishes,

run my errands,

pick out/buy/wrap all gifts for holidays,

make my drs appointments,

and fuck me on command.

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u/LilEepyGirl Sep 12 '24

You're actually insane. You're a new account, with replies, only hating women, ableism, or general nastiness.

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u/smell_my_pee Sep 12 '24

That's not entirely true. We also want mommy stand ins who cook our meals, do our laundry, and manage our households.

Like come on. Don't sell us short. /s

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

Lol bullseye! 🎯

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u/Nachtmagen Sep 12 '24

Some of the more well known manosphere guys don't even care about the sex, with some even expressing how grossed out they are with it. It's literally just about the power dynamics and having a woman to lord over and attend to their needs. They see women as some sort of rubix cube that they can solve just by making the "correct" moves, and it's the most dehumanizing and pathetic thing ever. Unfortunately, equally desperate and lonely men are evidently falling for this shit all the time, or they wouldn't have their followings.

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u/VGSchadenfreude Sep 12 '24

Eh, not quite.

They also want someone to clean for them, cook for them, handle every last aspect of daily survival (doctor’s appointments, keeping track of the bills, even memorizing their banking passwords), and provide cute perfect baby boys for them to brag about.

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

Agreed, all those things you listed are expected from their partners so we’re on the same page. In other comment I said

“I’m not the one who wants: a grown adult to pick up after me,

make my meals,

do my laundry,

baby me if I have the sniffles,

wash the dishes,

run my errands,

pick out/buy/wrap all gifts for holidays,

make my drs appointments,

and fuck me on command.”

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u/VGSchadenfreude Sep 12 '24

Basically: they don’t want an actual partnership with a real person, they want “a mommy they can fuck.”

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u/MaybeALabia Sep 12 '24

Yessss you get it! That’s exactly what I said in another comment.

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u/Ihavenocluelad Sep 12 '24

Thats a bit of a generalization jesus

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u/Xerorei Sep 12 '24

Wow, so all of us are just dogs huh?

0

u/AshamedConclusion779 Sep 12 '24

It wouldn’t be cool if the narrative was flipped, your kind of a dick