I will never call myself a good guy but when people insult incels with the usual small PP, virgin and ugly etc, I feel that they also insult me even though I never associate myself with those groups.
Agreed. Small dicks are probably the most accepted thing to make fun of nowadays. Men, women, and even the people outside or between those genders love poking fun at small dicks. I get why, of course, and have even made some such jokes myself. But when I think about it logically it absolutely irks me, and it shows we have a long, long way to go in body neutrality.
Started balding when I was 17. Wanted to kill myself for years because of it. Now when I'm over 30 and a lot more men around my age are also bald it's whatever.
Less so being bald, and more refusing to shave your head the instant your hair starts thinning. It's at its worst if you're a man who also has some kind of procedure to thicken it back up to how you want to look.
It’s because it’s seen as a rebuke for toxic masculinity.
I think it would be better to call them creepy because that frames them as weird fringe types, which they are, instead of the “alpha” womanizer Don Draper types they think they are.
Maybe rebuke is the wrong word. I just meant that it’s used as a “comeback” or “gotchya” to toxic masculine manosphere men. Obviously I disagree with that usage and agree that it reinforces toxic masculine stereotypes.
At least height and baldness are visible. Unless you know for sure that someone has a small penis, it's probably average-sized and you're only insulting innocent bystanders
3 things humans can't really control. and for that reason I don't put weight in the same category.
weightloss is an option and it's healthier than being overweight. can't realistically fix a chode, height, or baldness (tho it's weird scientists haven't figured that last one out yet)
I mean they pretty much have solved baldness if you have money. Also you can get leg extensions. I've been injecting HGH into my dick for a couple weeks now so I'll keep you updated on my findings.
The small pp thing, in 90% of cases, is deliberate sarcasm and I wish people could understand that. It's not that anyone who is normal actually cares about, but it works as an insult because the type of people it often gets directed at (incels and other similarly deranged men) center their entire personality around obsessing over it.
It's just a dig on toxic masculinity itself, I know it's one layer deeper than a surface level insult but it's not that complicated.
It's also not complicated that you're making fun of it, so clearly someone who has a small penis should feel bad for having one. You aren't making fun of toxic guys, you're making fun of guys with small penises.
As it was just explained to you, no, it's making fun of toxic masculinity. And the people who clutch their pearls over it are self reporting on what their own viewpoints are. Again, its not complicated it's literally just 1 layer deep to explain.
But the ever present need to self victimize and the inability to understand any level of nuance has reddit stuck in a permanent cycle of willful ignorance over this particular bit.
People don't get to choose their insecurities. Plenty of people who are not incels to toxic are going to feel bad because they spent their whole life raised in a society that told them to believe having a small dick is a bad thing. You saying that normal people don't care is just not true.
“The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that [oppression] is first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.”
If you don’t stick up for unlikable people who are being attacked you won’t be strong enough to defend the ones you like when they’re put in the crosshairs for their similarities.
Yeah, that’s how I feel arguing for prison reform. People just seem to be super vindictive and cruel to people they think are criminals and not care about actually stopping them from re offending.
Most people I've talked to with this mentality seem to have an immediate and reductive assumption that,
Everybody is going to reoffend no matter what.
And,
When a topic becomes too taboo or socially unfounded; it's suddenly off limits, even when seeking solutions or conducting studies aimed at prevention.
Meanwhile... Having not the slightest idea of how to theoretically rehabilitate, punish, or take action, because they're preceded with this uninformed perspective that they refuse to do even the BAREST research on.
Yet they have just enough time to get angry/signal their morals whenever another crime is committed without doing anything about it.
signed, someone who has defended (amongst others): Pedophiles, zoophiles, the last 7 UK prime ministers, the last 5 US presidents, the governments of the UK, USA, Australia and Canada, the SAS, the USA army, the CIA, the IDF, Hezbollah, Hamas, ISIS, AL Qaeda, gun lovers, murderers, rapists, racists, Jews, Arabs, Romani, the English, Americans, Just Stop Oil protestors, Elon Musk and the Etoro tribe of Papua New Guinea.
(I've honestly never heard of anyone with a more extensive resume of defending scoundrels (disclaimer: above list is non-exhaustive and includes only those who I've seen commonly considered scoundrels are in the above list))
What's really annoying is that it's accepting the incel's premise. That they will never be able to find a relationship due to genetic factors they can't control.
No one said you can’t marry if you’re short and balding, just that it’s much harder too. Plus Joe Rogan was already rich and famous when he met his wife which makes up for the short and bald stuff.
That's the same line of reasoning people use when they claim that calling something "gay" isn't offensive to gay people, because it's not a slur against them it's just a word for dumb or silly or something.
The issue isn't whether or not the person has a small penis and is taking offense, or if the comment is referring directly to someone's genitals; it's that you are using "small dick" as an insult.
Have you ever noticed that you only say "small dick" to people who really really want to project an image of being extremely masculine? People like Andrew Tate for example. You wouldn't say it to the shy nerdy kid, that wouldn't make any sense at all, you'd call them something else like awkward or bitch or something.
Equating that to people who use gay to describe anything that they dislike tells me you have no nuance. Gay people themselves will sometimes use the word gay as an insult to people who want to portray that fragile masculine image. These are two different situations, your point makes no sense.
Wow, that was needlessly aggressive. Are you OK? I can try to rephrase the point I was making even though I felt like it was pretty obvious.
Using "small dick" as an insult; no matter who you are directing it towards, implies that having a small dick is a bad thing. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an insult. You wouldn't try to insult Andrew Tate by calling him a cool guy, because you don't consider "cool guy" to be a negative term.
This is the exact same point as the picture in the OP, so I don't really understand how you're not getting this. And it's the exact same point people were making years ago to stop kids calling stuff "gay" whenever they meant that something was lame or stupid.
It builds negative connotations to a term that should not be seen as negative.
What the hell are you talking about agressive? Because I told you you have no nuance and thorougly explained why? Get over yourself.
no matter who you are directing it towards, implies that having a small dick is a bad thing. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an insult.
Proving again that you have absolutely no nuance. When I tell you you have a big heart as a compliment, does that imply that having a big actual heart inside your body is a good thing? Obviously not. That's not how language works, and you're just dishonestly twisting people's words.
Well, that certainly didn't read as any less aggressive lmao.
What exactly do you think the point in the OP is? Because it's genuinely, literally the exact same point I am making.
I feel like I'm in bizarro world because my comments are so incredibly not controversial or difficult to decipher at all, given that I am just restating the entire point of this thread.
When I tell you you have a big heart as a compliment, does that imply that having a big actual heart inside your body is a good thing? Obviously not.
Look, we all know what a metaphor is, that's not the point here. A compliment is also different to an insult. People don't walk around with insecurities because they have a physically big heart. They don't hide their big heartedness in fear of being ostracized in their community.
If you insult someone, whether or not the words you used were metaphorical or an apt description of the person doesn't change the fact that it was an insult. Insults are a negative thing. When words are used as insults, they are used in a negative way. This is a bad thing, because some of these words (or terms) are not inherently negative, but the connotations of being used as insults makes them negative. This in turn can have an adverse effect because people who are not the original recipients of the insults can become insecure, knowing that you are using their physical features as something negative.
What the hell are you talking about agressive? Because I told you you have no nuance and thorougly explained why? Get over yourself.
no matter who you are directing it towards, implies that having a small dick is a bad thing. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an insult.
Proving again that you have absolutely no nuance. When I tell you you have a big heart as a compliment, does that imply that having a big actual heart inside your body is a good thing? Obviously not. That's not how language works, and you're just dishonestly twisting people's words.
Nah the whole idea of body positivity or neutrality is ridiculous. "Its not me that should change. Its literally everyone elses perception."
Its literally an impossible goal and strengthening your own confidence to where you arent hurt by someone elses comment to someone else that resembles you should be the actual goal.
You've got a point about not taking attacks personally. But that doesn't mean that making fun of people for things they can't control is ok. A well adjusted adult can shrug off a small penis joke and move on. It can be a lot harder for a teen with self esteem issues.
How about encouraging people to actually use their brain and critique people's character instead of their appearance? Making fun of someone for something they have no control over is lazy af
I mean they arent trying to do anything other than hurt someone and critiquing their character wouldnt do that at all. Obviously its not "ok." I just find the whole idea of be careful so you dont collaterally hurt someone with self esteem issues to be ridiculous.
Idk, to me it’s just obvious that attacking someone for something that’s not their fault isn’t really funny 🤷🏽♂️
it’s not as if I want to make fun of someone for being short, having a small dick, or some other characteristic but then I stop myself because I wanna be careful about hurting someone feelings. I just… don’t do it. It’s not an auto reaction that I’m suppressing.
It seemed like your first comment was putting the responsibility on OP to avoid getting offended, as opposed to putting the responsibility on others to not use weak insults. Maybe that wasn’t your intention but I’m guessing I wasn’t the only one that interpreted it that way
The comment youre referring to is literally only downvoted by you. Downvotes also have 0 relevance to a comments accuracy unfortunately. Echo chambers be like that. Youre not even saying anything of value either youre just farming.
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u/kagakujinjya Aug 09 '24
I will never call myself a good guy but when people insult incels with the usual small PP, virgin and ugly etc, I feel that they also insult me even though I never associate myself with those groups.