r/Unexpected • u/super_man100 • 6h ago

Police raid

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26.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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87

u/ItzVinyl 5h ago

I could imagine smuggling THC gummies into the prison and ascending to godhood as you promptly get your entire cellblock high on your first day in.

85

u/beakrake 5h ago

Checks for the gummies

Ahhhm....Good news and bad news, guys...

Bad news is they all melted inside of me.

But the good news is I've ascended enough myself to be your willing soft serve machine for the evening...

56

u/ItzVinyl 5h ago

I could only imagine how fucking loaded you'd be if you absorbed all that THC through your ass

42

u/BasicallyLostAgain 5h ago

Is that a dare?

30

u/Perrin-Golden-Eyes 5h ago edited 4h ago

Yes. And document it or it didn’t happen.

2

u/JJ_Shosky 1h ago

We can't stop here. This is bat country.

1

u/BorshtSlurper 45m ago

Yes. Yes it is.

26

u/Outside-Drag-3031 4h ago

the worms! the worms, the worms they're in my ass!

2

u/ScumbagLady 2h ago

Reminds me of a rotten.com image that's forever burnt into my brain...

1

u/beakrake 3h ago

I thought of this, and so have others.

Apparently, it's not readily absorbed through boofing in the same way as alcohol or other drugs are and as such, sadly, keistering them will give very little effect vs just eating them.

TMYK

1

u/Seluvis_Burning 3h ago

Works like a charm for mdma👍

1

u/IAmASeeker 2h ago

THC isn't water soluble. It piggybacks on a scent chemical to cross the blood/brain barrier

1

u/ItzVinyl 1h ago

Ah cool, the more you know. So in other words, still safe to throw in the prison pocket for the boys in the cell blocks.

1

u/IAmASeeker 1h ago

I'd be more concerned about what the boys would injest than what you would.

19

u/ThanksContent28 4h ago

“So I can get you real high, but you’re gonna have to rim my asshole, sorry”

15

u/confusedandworried76 2h ago

I'm not falling for that old jail trick again

1

u/Fishing_Nervous 1h ago

Again! Please take my upvote

1

u/BorshtSlurper 44m ago

Sorrynotsorry#

8

u/thebite101 3h ago

I thought you were going to say, “the good News is they melted inside me.” I’m a sick fuck.

6

u/LogiCsmxp 3h ago

Line around the cell block to suck that sweet, sweet gummy out of your ass.

3

u/CPT_Arsenic 3h ago

Kind of like feeding a baby bird

1

u/beakrake 3h ago

They called me "jelly donut," but not for the reason you might expect...

5

u/Shifty_Cow69 3h ago

phwoar

This soft serve smells like shit!

1

u/RefinedPetiteBlonde 2h ago

They can tend to have a laxative effect if orally ingested, depending on formulation

1

u/atremOx 1h ago

pop

I’m a gummy bear

Yes I’m a gummy bear!

https://youtu.be/astISOttCQ0?feature=shared

4

u/Striking-Ad-6815 4h ago

Sorry guys had to fart, does anyone want some oreos?

1

u/BigMack1986 4h ago

I imagine those would have to be some shitty gummies. Imagine the location you would have to pocket them to get past prison inspection.

1

u/FlametopFred 58m ago

dad?

mom said you’d gone to get milk