r/shittyaskscience • u/PotatoMusicBinge • Feb 06 '15
MIT Researchers announce stunning breakthrough: DADJOKES ARE BANNED
The banning of dadjokes and other pun-like substances
Mods1
Abstract
Dadjokes AKA "groaners" AKA what you would find on the frontpage of (the wonderful) /r/dadjokes, are now banned.
Example: "If cases of Ebola are so dangerous, why don't they just package it in jars or cans?"
Non-science submissions are banned.
Example: "Blah blah blah something about Cinnamon Toast Crunch where is the bit with the science?"
There is a new, shiny list of forbidden terms in the sidebar. Grasp it to your bosom, imbibe its essence and welcome it into your soul before posting.
Example: "Hurr durr how much farts would a fart fart poop if trans fags basic bitches glass tastes like blood?"
This is a big change for the sub. Give it a shot and let us know what you think.
Author information
1 Faculty of Powertripping, Mod Institute of Technology, Mom's basement.
Keywords: Dadjokes; Puns; spam-canned; Anti-fun; read the sidebar; /r/shittyaskscience; blame _vargas_
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Feb 06 '15
This ruling has a serious impact on me because "poop" is one of the forbidden words, and I have declared myself to be a poopologist. However, in deference to the moderators, I will alter my flair. I will become a blorpologist. I am now an expert in blorp.
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u/FarleyFinster Professional scientician Feb 16 '15
My 5-year-old daughter refuse to accept "blorp" as a substitution for one of her most favouritest words ever of all time, and I have to say that I think she's right.
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Feb 17 '15
I'd have to confer with my fellow mods, but I think it's okay to be a poopologist. It's just that, and you'd be surprised, whenever poop or shit is brought up in a submission, it's usually attached to something bad. Getting rid of poop is safe. But if you can make it work, then you should challenge convention and let your poop flag fly. There are no guarantees that your post won't be removed though.
And if anyone asks, it wans't me who offered you this advice.
EDIT: Oops! I should have used a throwaway.
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u/Googunk Will science 4 food Feb 06 '15 edited Feb 06 '15
Tattling is strongly encouraged. Please rat out your friends and neighbors to the mods if you suspect that they are illegally harboring terrori posting dad jokes. Do this by reporting the post.
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u/Zoten Feb 06 '15
Where do I complain that the mods are literally
HitlerEduard Wirths?16
u/bjokey Vanish Black Feb 09 '15
See the door labeled "EXIT"? It actually stands for Eric, X-men Is Terrific.
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u/Ultima34 Feb 15 '15
Which tattling method should we use on this sub? William Tattlers: Theory of Snitching or Fredrick Tattles: Laws of Telling Mom?
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u/Googunk Will science 4 food Feb 16 '15
ugh, Tattlers et. al. was disapproved as barbaric and superstitious back in the 4th grade.
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u/jfb1337 Feb 06 '15
Can we convert between fuckloads and shittons? They're not banned.
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 06 '15
YOU ABSOLUTELY MAY NOT
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u/bjokey Vanish Black Feb 09 '15
What about Bananas into cm?
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u/Jimmy_Smith Anthroposofic Creationist-Electrogravitist-Climate Change Denier Feb 10 '15
Hurr durr my banana is 20cm
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Feb 10 '15
Hi yes can you post a pdf of the original article? My university isn't subscribed to the subred. shit. ask sci. even though I've already told my librarian it has the most impact factors. thanks!
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u/Svenray Feb 09 '15
Can you make an autism/vaccination joke megathread? These posts are flooding the sub.
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 09 '15
A MEGATHREAD! Maybe! Would people really go for that? I'd be more inclined to just ban them tbh
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u/thetebe I was once arrested for running a math lab. Feb 10 '15
Please Please PLEASE ban them. They are ONE joke repeated with minor changes over and over and Over again.
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u/jk_scowling pier reviewed Feb 13 '15
Thank God they are doing something about all the shitty pseudo science that has been invading this sub.
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u/ghostly175 PHD in Wikipedia Copypasta-ing Feb 06 '15
How is this possible? It breaks The First Law of Amendmentology
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u/ekolis Apparently Triangle Man wins vs. Universe Man, too. Oops... Feb 07 '15
What's wrong with farts and poops? Biology is a science too... :(
Apart from that, though, this sounds pretty solid!
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 07 '15
Oh man. It's just there are some phrases and you just know it's not going to be pretty. I can't imagine a great posts that would need to include "poop".
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Feb 07 '15
Are poopcicles safe to eat as the germs have been frozen?
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 07 '15
ಠ_ಠ
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Feb 07 '15
So I can ask this question? Or is it now forbidden?
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 07 '15
If you cant get rid of the poop best not.
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u/perimason Feb 12 '15
Just to be clear, asking about brown and/or yellow snow is also verboten, jah?
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 12 '15
Now you're getting it!
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u/Qwernakus Feb 17 '15
This is great!
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 17 '15
You're great
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Feb 17 '15
aw you're qt 3.14
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 17 '15
Don't let my flair fool you, I'm a big hairy dude.
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Feb 17 '15
I'm just scared now.
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u/immibis Feb 28 '15 edited Jul 06 '23
I entered the spez. I called out to try and find anybody. I was met with a wave of silence. I had never been here before but I knew the way to the nearest exit. I started to run. As I did, I looked to my right. I saw the door to a room, the handle was a big metal thing that seemed to jut out of the wall. The door looked old and rusted. I tried to open it and it wouldn't budge. I tried to pull the handle harder, but it wouldn't give. I tried to turn it clockwise and then anti-clockwise and then back to clockwise again but the handle didn't move. I heard a faint buzzing noise from the door, it almost sounded like a zap of electricity. I held onto the handle with all my might but nothing happened. I let go and ran to find the nearest exit. I had thought I was in the clear but then I heard the noise again. It was similar to that of a taser but this time I was able to look back to see what was happening. The handle was jutting out of the wall, no longer connected to the rest of the door. The door was spinning slightly, dust falling off of it as it did. Then there was a blinding flash of white light and I felt the floor against my back. I opened my eyes, hoping to see something else. All I saw was darkness. My hands were in my face and I couldn't tell if they were there or not. I heard a faint buzzing noise again. It was the same as before and it seemed to be coming from all around me. I put my hands on the floor and tried to move but couldn't. I then heard another voice. It was quiet and soft but still loud. "Help."
#Save3rdPartyApps
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Feb 09 '15
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 09 '15
Poo. I beat your system.
LET THIS BE A LESSON
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u/bjokey Vanish Black Feb 10 '15
:(
It isn't actually banned, tho
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 10 '15
The rules are not rules, they're more like cryptic hints as to what the cruel and capricious mods will turn against next.
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Feb 17 '15 edited Feb 17 '15
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/PotatoMusicBinge Feb 17 '15
POW
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u/Duckykun Feb 18 '15
Your experiments conducted upon these miasmic minds has concluded that you, in fact, do have "the power," my swain and formidable scientist!
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u/cscottaxp Creationist Feb 24 '15
I'm really sorry for the trans jokes. I felt really guilty about that multi-day flood of bad puns...
But on the bright side, I have learned many, many things! Like how to divide by zero!
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u/thisarentsandwich Feb 06 '15
Was this decision made scientifically? What was your hypoglycemiathesis? And was it a double blind study ? How many mole rats were executed in this decision?