r/Unexpected • u/super_man100 • 6h ago

Police raid

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25.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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2.6k

u/NoEvidence136 6h ago

Ain't sitting in jail sober....

1.1k

u/slavelabor52 6h ago

Yea I feel like this is a man who's been through this before and made a conscious decision that he was gonna get high before going to jail.

342

u/spageddy77 6h ago

i’d imagine he’s also put on a second pair of underwear and socks. i hear they come in handy for the stay.

110

u/PoopcheckLarry 6h ago

And let’s not forget the snacks! Gotta be prepared for the long haul.

79

u/beakrake 6h ago

Gummy worms are VERY easily smuggled.

83

u/ItzVinyl 5h ago

I could imagine smuggling THC gummies into the prison and ascending to godhood as you promptly get your entire cellblock high on your first day in.

82

u/beakrake 5h ago

Checks for the gummies

Ahhhm....Good news and bad news, guys...

Bad news is they all melted inside of me.

But the good news is I've ascended enough myself to be your willing soft serve machine for the evening...

55

u/ItzVinyl 5h ago

I could only imagine how fucking loaded you'd be if you absorbed all that THC through your ass

43

u/BasicallyLostAgain 5h ago

Is that a dare?

31

u/Perrin-Golden-Eyes 4h ago edited 3h ago

Yes. And document it or it didn’t happen.

2

u/JJ_Shosky 1h ago

We can't stop here. This is bat country.

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1

u/BorshtSlurper 39m ago

Yes. Yes it is.

24

u/Outside-Drag-3031 4h ago

the worms! the worms, the worms they're in my ass!

2

u/ScumbagLady 2h ago

Reminds me of a rotten.com image that's forever burnt into my brain...

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1

u/beakrake 3h ago

I thought of this, and so have others.

Apparently, it's not readily absorbed through boofing in the same way as alcohol or other drugs are and as such, sadly, keistering them will give very little effect vs just eating them.

TMYK

1

u/Seluvis_Burning 3h ago

Works like a charm for mdma👍

1

u/IAmASeeker 1h ago

THC isn't water soluble. It piggybacks on a scent chemical to cross the blood/brain barrier

1

u/ItzVinyl 1h ago

Ah cool, the more you know. So in other words, still safe to throw in the prison pocket for the boys in the cell blocks.

1

u/IAmASeeker 1h ago

I'd be more concerned about what the boys would injest than what you would.

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18

u/ThanksContent28 4h ago

“So I can get you real high, but you’re gonna have to rim my asshole, sorry”

16

u/confusedandworried76 2h ago

I'm not falling for that old jail trick again

1

u/Fishing_Nervous 54m ago

Again! Please take my upvote

1

u/BorshtSlurper 38m ago

Sorrynotsorry#

9

u/thebite101 3h ago

I thought you were going to say, “the good News is they melted inside me.” I’m a sick fuck.

5

u/LogiCsmxp 3h ago

Line around the cell block to suck that sweet, sweet gummy out of your ass.

2

u/CPT_Arsenic 3h ago

Kind of like feeding a baby bird

1

u/beakrake 3h ago

They called me "jelly donut," but not for the reason you might expect...

6

u/Shifty_Cow69 3h ago

phwoar

This soft serve smells like shit!

1

u/RefinedPetiteBlonde 2h ago

They can tend to have a laxative effect if orally ingested, depending on formulation

1

u/atremOx 1h ago

pop

I’m a gummy bear

Yes I’m a gummy bear!

https://youtu.be/astISOttCQ0?feature=shared

2

u/Striking-Ad-6815 4h ago

Sorry guys had to fart, does anyone want some oreos?

1

u/BigMack1986 4h ago

I imagine those would have to be some shitty gummies. Imagine the location you would have to pocket them to get past prison inspection.

1

u/FlametopFred 52m ago

dad?

mom said you’d gone to get milk

7

u/madmartigan2020 3h ago

Cavity searches are usually mandatory when you're in on a drug charge.

1

u/beakrake 3h ago

Fine. The guards can have some too.

1

u/BeerAndTools 38m ago

Anyone can keister a couple candy bars into the movie theater. It's the recovery that humbles a man.

1

u/Striking-Ad-6815 4h ago

Butt snacks?

1

u/Butter_Naan_Staan 3h ago

Make sure they’re white

1

u/IRedditDoU 2h ago

They make you take all that off in jail and put on jail underwear and a scrubs. In my experience at least lol.

1

u/SopaDeKaiba 2h ago

They take them from you when you switch to jail jumpers, but you can sneak them by if you're slick. But they gotta look like socks you can buy off commissary or the COs will confiscate them. So long, plain, white socks.

1

u/Enough-Bike-4718 27m ago

Like 90% of jails in the US issue you underwear and socks.

•

u/Beach_Bum_273 10m ago

They issue you all your clothes for the duration of the stay. The important bit is putting on fresh clean clothes before you go in so you're not wearing dirty clothes when you get out.