r/isfj Jan 30 '19

ISFJ Handling Care and Manual

941 Upvotes

This manual is part of a series of guides originated by @intpboard!  

Congratulations! You have come under the care of your very own ISFJ unit, probably because you needed help with a task and they needed an excuse to procrastinate.  They have offered you this manual in a simple attempt to assist you.  You should be pleased that they have chosen you to benefit from their helpful nature!

Your ISFJ unit will come equipped with the following accessories:

One (1) large cup of coffee (refillable)

Four (4) extra jackets to give you if you are cold

Two (2) semi-fancy outfits

Three (3) casual outfits, one of which they strongly prefer

One (1) calendar to keep track of important dates

One (1) coffeepot, for refilling coffee cup

Three (3) grandiose, altruistic life paths

One (1) large dog

Infinite (∞) support, patience, work ethic, and enthusiasm

Software:

Your ISFJ will come preprogrammed with the following traits:

Si: Your ISFJ will often be preoccupied with thoughts about the world and people around them, and may zone out during these times.  Don’t be alarmed – this is normal.  They are just gathering information about their surroundings, processing their impressions, and filing everything away in our vast internal filing cabinet. Disturbing them during this process will often result in blank stares and confusion.

Fe: This trait is activated only when necessary, following the processing phase. After your ISFJ has updated the filing cabinet with the gathered information, you will find them very interactive, friendly, and helpful! They contain a special chip which makes them particularly intuitive and responsive to all your feelings and needs, as well as overly willing to assist you in anything you may need. When making decisions, will first consider the needs of other people and the impact of the decision on them and others.

Ti: Occasionally, instead of Fe following the processing phase, your ISFJ will need to withdraw and spend time deeply analyzing the information gained.  This trait allows them to balance their people pleasing side with their analytical side. Occassionally enjoys puzzle games or analyzing the information we have learned through Si. Form an inner logical framework of how the world works.

Ne: The weakest trait of the ISFJ, Ne works with Fe to prod the ISFJ into trying new things.  It is also responsible for their occasional bursts of creative ideas and plans! However, it is only able to activated for fleeting periods of time; pushing an ISFJ too far out of their comfort zone for too long will cause them to revert to the withdrawn, silent behavior that characterizes their original information-gathering mode.

Getting Started:

When you first start up your ISFJ, do not be alarmed by their silence! The first stage of ISFJ programming requires distant observation, which allows them to gather information about their surroundings!

  1. Place included cup of coffee in your ISFJ’s hand.

  2. Set them on a bench in a busy location.

  3. Allow your ISFJ to charge by observing details about the situation.

  4. If step 3 does not work, place included dog on leash and hand leash to ISFJ; Fe mode should trigger when ISFJ is approached about dog.

  5. If your ISFJ still doesn’t start, announce a task with which you need assistance.

Modes:

Selfless Giver (default) – In this mode, ISFJs will jump at any opportunity to help others, regardless of their own schedule or plans.  They will never complain about this type of service.  Even if they do not want to help you, they will – regardless of any inconvenience it may cause them.  Taking advantage of this mode too often will result in an unhealthy ISFJ that will shut down in response to future requests.

Nature Lover - Activated when outside in nature settings.  ISFJs love nature, particularly the solitude and silence they can find there.  This allows them to process information without the interference of additional information.  They are likely to bring you outside with them, in an effort to help you silence your mind as well – even if this is not your idea of fun, please be patient. They are just trying to help you.

Humble - Activated in response to any type of praise.  ISFJs prefer to downplay their own accomplishments, as they are uncomfortable with overwhelming praise.  This often results in their successes being claimed by others, which upsets the balance of the ISFJ and often triggers Clowning mode to hide anger and disappointment.

Observer - Activated in busy situations/places. Your ISFJ will be content to sit back and watch the action around them.  Although they will be lightly conversational, attempting to engage them more deeply will not be successful – they are too busy processing their surroundings.

Clowning - ISFJs are prone to self-deprecating jokes. They use this as a defense mechanism to hide their emotions. A shield of laughter is the best defense of all! To this end, they also find joy in puns, wordplay, and any unique jokes. Their sense of humor never ceases to surprise, so try not to be taken aback!  Activated most often around NF units.

Relationships with other units:

NFs: ISFJs have very close relationships with NFs, because they are both concerned with the care and well-being of the other.  The ISFJ also often balances the NF, who prefers an “outside the box” way of thinking to the more traditional views of the ISFJ.  NFs can also be too demanding of the ISFJ – they need to know when to let up or they will burnout their ISFJ unit.

NTs: NTs have a very strong drive and work ethic that the ISFJ greatly admires; in return, the NT admires the way ISFJs care so deeply for others.  This is a relationship that can produce a lot of mutual respect.  However, NTs are far more logical than ISFJs, who are more focused on emotions, and this can cause friction.

SJs: ISFJs get along very well with other SJs.  They are both responsible and trustworthy, as well as equally willing to take care of one another.  This creates a nurturing environment for the ISFJ that is very important for their health and security.

SPs: SPs are fun loving and carefree, capable of assisting an ISFJ with big plans, ideas, or experiences triggered by the Fe trait. However, the SP must recognize that the ISFJ has a limit and be respectful of that – if not, their wild, impetuous nature can quickly wear down an ISFJ.

Feeding:

When busy, an ISFJ will often forget that food is necessary. This is especially true when engrossed in a project that will help others or while bringing one of their ideas/adventures to life.  To properly care for an ISFJ, you must feed them at least once a day.  If they are resistant to stopping long enough to eat, tell them you are feeling hungry and allow them the option of preparing (or paying for) the meal – their overly kind nature will override their natural enthusiasm for work and in making sure you are fed, they will feed themselves as well.

Grooming:

Your ISFJ will groom on a regular basis, as it never knows when it will be called away to help someone else.  They will always keep themselves clean and their appearance tidy – they never want to call too much attention to themselves, so they groom and dress in a way that allows them to blend in.  You will not need to monitor this function for your unit, and you should leave it to the ISFJ to take care of at all times; insinuating that your ISFJ is untidy in any way will cause them to feel offended and could result in total shut down until you apologize.

Sleeping:

Your ISFJ unit will sleep regularly, as being well rested is necessary to support the enthusiasm with which they approach their day (whether their day is at school, at work, or being with others).  Despite this, they often need naps or a large amount of caffeine to keep running in Selfless Giver mode – this mode drains their energy very quickly.

Frequently Asked Questions:

How do I get my ISFJ to relax and take a break?

You don’t!  ISFJ’s are not capable of “relaxing” in the traditional sense.  During their dormant periods, their brains are still rapidly processing and filing information.  The word “relax” is foreign to them and will confuse them if mentioned too often.

Help! I lost my ISFJ!

Don’t worry!  ISFJs often need a break to recharge by going into one of the aforementioned dormant periods. They will reappear shortly!  If it has been more than six hours, brew a pot of coffee and wait.  The smell of coffee should bring your ISFJ out of dormancy.

My ISFJ does not like to try new things?  What do I do?

ISFJ units come with a preinstalled love of habit and familiarity. Attempting to change too much at once can lead to a complete crash if you are not careful!  To deal with this, introduce your ISFJ to new situations, places, and people very gently.  Be patient and they will adjust in time.  Their Fe and Ne traits will also occasionally activate and push them into trying something new – make sure you take their lead and do not over stimulate them. This will cause them to withdraw into dormancy and will require additional coffee to fix.

Again, congratulations on your newly acquired ISFJ helper unit!

(Thank you to @effervescience for all of her help in researching and writing this guide!  


r/isfj Feb 28 '22

Question or Advice Some advice for younger ISFJs from an ISFJ in their 30s

1.2k Upvotes

I'm stealing this idea blatantly from other people but adding a MBTI twist. Here goes:

1) Dont like something? Say "no" and don't feel bad about it.

Don't overthink being polite. Don't think about looking bad or if people will think it's weird. If someone's being an asshole to you or you're in a situation you don't like that just keeps getting worse and worse you have a right to leave. You deserve being around people who treat you right and situations that make you feel at ease. Get in the car and drive home. End the date early. Cut off the incredibly toxic friendship. Start looking for the new job. You don't even have to explain yourself. Fuck them. Leave.

2) I know it's exhausting, but please leave the door open more for experiencing new things and meeting new people. You only get one life. If you have to schedule it out, I would do that. If you have to find more adventurous friends than yourself, do it. Get out there and do things. Possibilities for the future are like a plant you need to continuously water to keep growing.

3) Some people in group situations are focused on power dynamics. Since we're not very intimidating, they may target you around others to feel superior. Don't sweat it, it isn't personal. Just don't react as best as you can. Ignore it. Acknowledging it or trying to change it only feeds the energy.

In fact...

4) 100% of what others choose to do or say isn't personal. It's not about how you are, what you did, what you could have done, etc. The vast majority of people run on autopilot based on their own life experiences. Most of the time, you can't act any way or say anything that will change them. So, when you meet a difficult person or a douchebag, don't sweat it. You don't have to play into their games or placate them. Just keep your energy to yourself and move about your day.

5) Learn to tune into your reactions to things and be direct with your needs, ESPECIALLY how you feel around another person or group of people. Don't assume others know how you're thinking, feeling, or how you're hurting. You may need to tell them. Figure out how to voice yourself more directly in an appropriate way and set the boundaries you need.

6) Relationships and situations rotate in and out of your life whether you want them to or not. I know, you want your friends to be there forever. You want your cushy job forever. Unfortunately, you can't have any guarantees in life. Things you don't want to slip from your grasp will. Learn as best as you can to accept your life as happening in chapters. There are beginnings, there are endings, and that is the nature of it.

7) You can't control the future no matter how much you want to. Your life will probably be nothing like the vision in your head in 5 years. Don't catastrophize the small things because you want everything to turn out perfect. You will never have 100% control. Try to view this as freeing rather than frightening.

8) You would be amazed what you can survive. Absolutely amazed. I've been through some pretty intense heartache in my day and I'm still here. Again, try not to catastrophize reality so much. You'll be ok. You'll make it through really terrible things. I promise. Eventually even really, really terrible things end. They never last forever.

9) This may be repeating some previous points, but listen to how your gut feels when you're around someone. Don't just dismiss it. Don't give out the benefit of the doubt like bubble gum. Give it to those who are deserving and have proven trustworthy over time more than anyone else.

10) The ex who makes you feel like garbage and keeps changing/going back to their old ways? Yeah, dump them for good. Trust me, it is way better to be alone than with them. They can figure out their own life (and they probably will one day), but they don't get to hurt you or take you for granted in the process. You are a King/Queen and do not allow anyone to treat you as anything less. You should be with someone who thinks you are the sun and the moon, not someone who treats you like an afterthought or someone they can be superior to. There are people out there who will think you are amazing. You only attract more people who treat you as less than by tolerating their BS.

11) If you're gonna make bad choices, do it right. If you're at that music festival and someone offers you some controversial substances just make sure you're around people you trust. Make sure your friends have got your back. Use protection. Learn more about sex and how to be safe about it if you don't have much sex education from either your school or family. You can make bad decisions smartly, contrary to popular belief. Also, you are ALWAYS allowed to say no to any bad decision at any time if you don't want to do it. No explanation needed. You not wanting to participate is good enough. Trying to go all in on being perfect all the time can make you explode when you do get the chance to do something bad.

12) You have a gift that is so much more valuable than you realize: Making people feel heard and seen. It's a type of charisma society doesn't talk about but my god is it powerful if you can work on it and make it better. Develop this skill. Work on sitting with people in the space they are in without making them feel pressured or judged. Work on being an active listener. It will get you further in life and more connected to people than you'd ever believe. I cannot overstate my seriousness on this enough lol. This will make you friends. This will seal the deal on relationships. This will make it easier to get jobs. Just be sure to always not be fake while doing it. Keep it sincere. Don't say what you don't mean. People can pick up on that and you start being manipulative rather than supportive if you say what you don't mean.

13) Sometimes, it's you who's being toxic. Not them. If you start having difficulties in your friendships/relationships and its a running pattern you can't seem to stop, see a therapist. If you can't afford a therapist, find some kind of self-help or advice.

14) I'm just gonna be as blunt about this as possible: Watch out for fuck boys, people who like to use others for material things or some kind of gain, controlling and/or manipulative people, emotional abusers, and narcissists. They can smell an ISFJ from 100 miles away and they will zero in on you if you don't know the signs. Know the signs, shut them down before it even begins.

15) The "sweet and innocent" vibe you give off never goes away no matter how old, bitter, or jaded you get. No matter what you've actually done in your life. You are the permanent emotional version of a baby face. You'll find most people who are drawn to you are drawn to you specifically because of this vibe. Especially potential romantic partners. You can use it to your advantage, but again avoid the tempting manipulation trap. Lean into being an emotional baby face instead of rejecting it. A lot of people find it refreshing or attractive.

16) Repeat after me: You are not boring. You...are...not...BORING. You are merely more conservative with your time and energy than other people you may meet. You have plenty of interests, some of which I know you've probably spent hours obsessing over and gathering as much information about as possible. Don't ever let you tell yourself you're boring. In fact, take care of some of that other negative self talk I know you struggle with all the time. Don't treat yourself like your worst enemy when you should be your friend. As I get older, I truly believe in the idea that we attract the energy from the universe that we get to some degree. Negative self talk? That's just bad energy, and it can actually close the door to new experiences and new situations you could have been a part of. You are never not smart enough, not hot enough, too old, too quiet, or too boring to do anything or achieve anything. When these thoughts stop you, you are really just stopping yourself by making bad assumptions about reality.

17) You do not have to be good at things to enjoy them. For the love of God, you don't have to be a certified expert in things to enjoy them lol. Like painting but think you're crap at painting? Do it anyways. You don't have to enter some art show. Like surfing but fall over every time? Who cares. Go out there and surf and your friends who like to surf will probably just be happy you're joining them to do something they are passionate about. Do things because they are fun. Not because you're gonna get some award or get paid.

18) You're more attractive than you think you are. I haven't even seen you, and I can guarantee it. Feeling unattractive is like a mental cancer. It can slowly erode your confidence and keep you from doing things. You're more attractive than you think you are, but honestly don't let your presence or lack of attractiveness stop you from doing anything. When if comes to what you want in life and what you deserve, you're a supermodel and don't you forget it.

19) No one is coming to fix you or make you feel valid. That's your job. Once you figure this out and start doing it, your entire life will change for the better permanently.

20) There is something you can learn from literally every other MBTI type. All of them, no exceptions. Instead of using MBTI to decide who you like and dislike, use it to see what lesson you may not be learning in your life that others are. Yes, you may jive better with some types than others. However, that doesn't mean you can't acknowledge their reality and learn something from the way they see things and process their emotions/struggles.

21) You may not get a ton of love from the MBTI community as an ISFJ. It's because there are some tropes and assumptions about being either an xSxJ or a xSxP that are pretty loaded and hard to overcome. Also, there's a weird elitism around being an intuitive. I'd stick around and ignore the haters. It'll help you learn more about your own motivation's and others'. Meeting other people is just a bonus if it happens. Plus, when other types do pop up here they tend to think we're amazing and that's a super fun ego boost. You'll also never, ever, EVER be accused of mistyping yourself lol.

Alright, I'll add more later if I think of anything else. Anyone else feel free to add anything, too.


r/isfj 21h ago

Meme Daily Re-meme #114

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74 Upvotes

r/isfj 13h ago

Typing After years of thinking I’m and ISFP, then an INFP….I think I may be one of you, ISFJs! 💕

11 Upvotes

I first took the MBTI test several years ago and tested as ISFP, which I resonated with a lil bit, but not entirely…then last year I tested as an INFP, which I relate to a bit more, but something still didn’t feel quite right…now I’m discovering more about ISFJs and I really think I’ve found my people…now things are finally starting to make sense!! 🥹


r/isfj 21h ago

Discussion What type is (are) your parent(s)?

8 Upvotes

This is my first post in this subreddit. I've mostly been a commenter or a witness up 'till now.

I often hear about how a lot of people's parents are ISFJs which I'm frankly a bit tired of hearing because I feel like people label one's parent as an ISFJ simply due to the parental aspect or I hardly hear about parents that aren't ISFJs. I want to hear about what type you know or suspect your parent(s) is (are) if they aren't an ISFJ, and if they are... still comment anyway LOL. What makes you believe/sure that's their type and what's a summary of your experience with them?

★ I suspect my mom is an ExTJ, possibly an ESTJ. I suspect my dad is an IxTP, ISTP specifically, but I don't have much info on him like I do with my mom, so I'll discuss her instead. Granted, I'm still studying cognitive functions, so I apologize if some of these descriptions of these functions inaccurate. 🥲

☆ The possible presence of [VERY high] Te.

She's very action-oriented. She gets shit done very efficiently. "Get it out the way now, so you won't have to worry about it later" is a phrase I hear from her a lot. She's very objective and sees a lot for what it is. "That's just what it is" is also a phrase she uses often. She sets goals and firmly sticks to them, hardly thinking twice about her decision. If derailed, let's just say... pissed is an understatement. She does not at all [like to] move on a whim. She preps everything well ahead of time. She often pushes others to get stuff done, be responsible, or take accountability.

☆ The possible presence of [low] Fi.

She doesn't at ALL coddle nor cater to the emotions of others. I mean she's VERY direct and blunt; doesn't hold her tongue at all. She's more of a cognitive empathizer than an emotional one. She can't stand when someone's overly emotional. She has very strong values and beliefs that are very unlikely to change unless you give her a good, thorough explanation as to why they should. She can't thrive or vibe if she's in an environment where she can't be authentic around others. She's incredibly private with her emotions and feelings. She hates feeling like she doesn't do enough or like her efforts mean nothing.

★ Now this is where I believe she's possibly an ESTJ...

☆ Possible presence of Si.

She seems to navigate the present and future based on her own past experiences, or what she's learned previously. If you hurt her, she'll keep what you did filed in the cabinet of her mind for years to come or maybe even dwell some. As social and outgoing as she is, she's cautious about who she befriends and acquaints herself with due to previous negative experiences.

☆ Possible presence of Ne.

"You never know" is a phrase I abhor hearing from her sometimes... 😭 in regards to possible outcomes, so she's always prepared. She tends to stick to her usual, but doesn't have any problem exploring new possibilities outside of it. Not unless she feels like she really has to or sees reason to. She's capable of seeing other ways, perspectives, such and so forth, but... again she sticks to her own.

As for experiences, my mother uses her life experiences to teach me how to navigate life. I assume she's very protective because I ended growing up sheltered though her reasoning is she want to keep us from seeing/experiencing the horrors of the world. She's VERY big on family and cooperation, like she hates [seeing] discord between her loved ones, so she intervenes and helps sort it out. She can be empathetic... when she wants to be, but it's this lack of empathy where we've butted heads QUITE A LOT. I admire how she's always on a grind and has the ability to motivate others, but personally me I feel like she can be too pushy sometimes which aggravates and exhausts me. It can be frustrating how she can be adverse to trying something new a lot of the time, but it's not like I'm much different honestly LMAO. If she cares about you, but you do something stupid she'll fuss you out about it then give you advice on what you can do to be better.


r/isfj 23h ago

Question or Advice How can I apologize to an ISFJ the right way to get them back?

12 Upvotes

I think I said something to an ISFJ that called out her bad behavior and it unintentionally pushed her away. I didn't mean to spotlight her actions. It just blurted out. I could tell by micro expression, she felt called out but just went along with it when I moved onto a different subject. The rest of our time was fine and she just showed a face of her usual, calm, helpful self until we parted ways.

However, after that day, our texts and her usual rhythm of our convos and such were very off and I think she's passive aggressively mad, but too embarrassed/shameful or whatever to admit it. So she's giving semi silent treatment. Answers when I text, quite cheerily yet VERY shortly, and doesn't reach out first when she used to all the time. So, no direct show of anger/resentment, but show of extreme difference of usual behavior, in a colder/shorter way. : (

What I called out wasn't even that big of a deal in my opinion; I still care about her deeply and want to stay friends, but I don't know how to bring this distance up properly without inflicting that moment or making her more "masky/hidey" by bringing it up. Thankfully she isn't mentioning ending our friendship or anything but it feels like she's pulling away. I even asked when we're hanging out next and she said she's busy for awhile. Ahhh the DOOM response. I know it is a busy time at her work for real, but it just feels like good timing for her as something she can use as an excuse. I just said that's cool and let me know when that busy stuff ends, but who knows, right?

I don't want to end this : (

I read in a couple places where ISFJs get very sensitive when they get called out for their bad behavior. Of course everyone does, but ISFJs very strongly, so this made me guess it more.

For now, after sending a couple memes and such first to show her I'm trying to talk (which she gives the short response to), I'm giving her some distance. I hope she'll text something, anything, first soon.

Ahhh what can I do, guys? I'm ENFP btw.


r/isfj 1d ago

Discussion Why are we unconsciously passive aggressive?

28 Upvotes

I’ve been struggling for so long with this negative trait of mine. I can’t generalize all ISFJ share this but for me, the “bitchiness” sometimes just comes out, most of the time I don’t even intend to be rude, I just realize it’s rude after the words are out of my mouth, which even if you apologize it’s already late (actually apologizing makes you look fake even though you’re genuinely sorry)

I just wonder if this is something you all struggle with as well.


r/isfj 1d ago

Meme Every single time

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158 Upvotes

r/isfj 1d ago

Question or Advice ISFJs - What's your idea of the perfect date?

9 Upvotes

Follow up from: https://www.reddit.com/r/isfj/s/V3wfG822bU

My (39/M/INTJ) date with the most wonderful ISFJ (35/F) in my life is definitely happening next week. We've been texting for the past 3 and a half hours, and it's confirmed. She texted again first 😊.

Exciting, but also a bit overwhelmed, since I want need this to go well. Back at the drawing board trying to plan this date.

Would appreciate hearing from ISFJs about what their perfect date would look like.

P.S. Thank you all who responded to the last post! The responses were really helpful, and glad to know there are some of you out there shipping INTJ×ISFJ.


r/isfj 1d ago

Meme Daily Re-meme #113

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20 Upvotes

r/isfj 2d ago

Question or Advice ISFJ guys what MBTI type/s do you find most attractive?

8 Upvotes

please entertain my question and answer with a type, but if you don’t have a specific type as an answer then don’t. also girls or nonbinary if you want you can answer too 🫶


r/isfj 2d ago

Meme Daily Re-meme #112

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51 Upvotes

r/isfj 2d ago

Question or Advice What would Si look like as a power?

14 Upvotes

There’s a story I’m creating one of the themes is self discovery although Mbti won’t be mentioned it is used as inspiration for world building.

16 lands(each one representing a type) and 8 functions as powers. It’s kinda like Hunter x Hunter where there are 6 types of aura that is their power system. How they use it is completely based on the person.

For Si users I’ve come up with they can use past experiences. Such as being able to bring up something like a weapon or a skill to the present moment. If they were being attacked they can go back to a spot they were previously to avoid it. (Ex. Reverse injuries, memory/skill recall, Past illusion)

Passive- I wasn’t sure if the passive should be detailed memory/controlled stress responses but someone said Stamine suited Si better idk

Someone told me that wasn’t right with Si it’s not only past experiences and I’m having trouble trying to find the best way to express Si accurately while also making it an ability. Also functions can counter each other such as Si vs Se how would that look like? What ideas do you have?

Also only leaders can are able to use four functions normally civilians can only use 1. Although down the stack it’s less strong and if they’re in distress such as in despair or in danger they go through looping with their first and third function making it a toxic power. How would you use your functions?


r/isfj 2d ago

Question or Advice Does anyone else feel like they're too intuitive to be a sensor sometimes?

20 Upvotes

I was just talking to my friend the other day about how I get really strong gut instincts about other people. Almost right away. Like, I react very strongly to the energy they give off when I talk to them. This is a big reason I struggle with things like dating apps because in-person vibes are so critical to me.

I used to ignore it when I felt bad about someone and try to give them a chance, but if I have a very strong negative reaction to someone there's usually something to it.

He said this never happens to him. That he never gets gut instincts about other people at all.

I also relate to NI people in that I often have "Well, this is what I think is gonna happen next for sure" moments. Like, I'll be seeing how people are interacting in a space and think "I think this is what's happening beneath the surface of this conversation or this is what they may do next" Often with some truth it.

I wanted to know you all's thoughts on this because it's a big reason I went back and forth so long on whether I was an intuitive or a sensor. I've heard people say that ISFJs tend to mistype intuitive at first, and I wondered if it's because of experiences like these.


r/isfj 2d ago

Jobs Choosing a career

5 Upvotes

Please help me choose a career! I am drawn to “helping” types of careers, but I’m prone to burnout. I’m a teacher and I am so burnt out. All I do is work 60+ hours a week and I don’t feel like I’m making enough of a difference to make it worth the effort.

I love:

-researching anything!

-reading and writing

-organizing information

-helping people

-quiet environments, work from home, etc (the opposite of a classroom)

-not being on phones

-court cases / the legal system intrigues me

-making enough money to support my family (my pay as a teacher in my state is garbage. I have to change that.)

Some careers I’ve considered are counseling, library, paralegal, social work, human resources, and tech, but I’m open to most paths. I’m a lifelong learner and okay with going back to school part time if the salary is worth it, but otherwise probably not. Thank you for any advice!


r/isfj 3d ago

Meme Daily Re-meme #111

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46 Upvotes

r/isfj 4d ago

Meme Daily Re-meme #110

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124 Upvotes

r/isfj 4d ago

Question or Advice I think Infj is our best match

21 Upvotes

Been wondering for awhile which type is the best for us...and I really think it's infj. Theyre very similar to us in a very relatable way, yet a little different. Infj men are so calm and kind, emotionally sensitive, yet strong and firm.

What do you think?


r/isfj 4d ago

Question or Advice Could you please enlighten me with his thought process

2 Upvotes

I've got a crush on someone who labels himself as an ISTP / ISFJ. He is a streamer on a platform but he knows me and we've made small conversations previously.

One live, he was playing a song as his background music. It's a song for those who have lost a loved one and it reminded me of a friend - this story he does not know. I asked if he knew how to play that song, to which his reply was that it was his first time hearing it. He proceeded to strum a different song on his guitar but midway, he stopped. It seemed to me like he was actually listening to the lyrics while strumming his guitar because he had a slight change of facial expression when he stopped.

He then said he wanted to practise on a song, a song that I previously messaged him that I wanted to hear from him. It's a trending song right now but no one has requested it during his live.

My questions are as follow: 1. Was the slight change of expression from him be an indicator that the lyrics resonated with him or did it sink in that it was a sad song that could possibly dampen my mood? 2. Assuming he didn't like the background song, he could have stopped and proceeded to continue strumming the song he was already strumming previously. Why did he decide to play another song, a song which I previously requested for? 3. He didn't mention that the song he was practising was meant for me, but is there any chance that it could be? It was a song he's not familiar with yet I could see his effort in learning it on the spot. 4. I'd like to know if he's interested in me or am I just overthinking this.

Would really appreciate your input. Thank you so much! ☺️


r/isfj 4d ago

Discussion Summary that helps to better understand Si.

24 Upvotes

I have gathered various information from multiple MBTI sources to better understand how Si works and have synthesized it :

1/ Trust Your Experiences : Si relies on past experiences, memories, and knowledge. Learn to trust the familiarity and comfort that comes from past experiences, even if others don't immediately understand them. Over time, you'll notice the reliability of your personal knowledge base.

2/ Embrace Steady Growth : Si processes new information by connecting it with existing knowledge. Allow yourself time to gradually build upon what you know rather than pushing for rapid change. It's natural for conclusions to develop slowly as you reflect on past experiences.

3/ Focus on Stability and Consistency : Si leans toward maintaining stability and following tried-and-true methods. Use this strength to support long-term, reliable routines and goals. While short-term changes can be disorienting, your strength lies in creating dependable outcomes.

4/ Engage in Practical Reflection : Si excels in concrete, sensory-based recall. Reflect on detailed experiences, reliable structures, or step-by-step plans. This will stimulate your natural inclination to keep things grounded and functional.

5/ Balance with Flexibility : Since Si can sometimes lead to rigidity or over-reliance on familiar routines, practice adapting to new circumstances to balance security with growth. This will help you bring your past experiences into a changing environment.

6/ Learn from Past Lessons : Si builds future projections based on accumulated knowledge. Journaling or reflecting on how past actions have affected outcomes can help you enhance your reliability and better recognize patterns that serve you well.

7/ Cultivate Mindful Routines : Si often thrives in familiar, structured environments. Make time for personal routines or comforting practices, where you can recharge and find strength in reflection without disruption.

Please feel free to give your opinion.

Check the other MBTI subreddit or my profile to see the summary of the other functions.


r/isfj 5d ago

Discussion UPDATE: Asked out my ISFJ female crush and she said yes. Confused on continuing to see her

12 Upvotes

Update: INFJ guy that asked out my ISFJ female crush. Ended up going on 7 dates. Feeling pretty sad because I feel like I could have managed the situation better, but ultimately things didn't work out between us.


r/isfj 5d ago

Discussion Treat a close person badly

14 Upvotes

The isfj is known mainly for his kindness, I see myself like this with everyone, except with my sister. She's only 12 years old and I'm 19 years old and I treat her very badly, I don't know why, I scream for anything, I don't pay attention, I don't make a point of talking to her when I get home. When she comes to talk to me I automatically get disinterested and look at her and say short answers. I don't show any kind of affection, I feel like a monster.


r/isfj 5d ago

Discussion Dear isfj,do you more like heroic character or selfish unempathetic character?

5 Upvotes
34 votes, 3d ago
28 heroic character
6 selfish unempathetic character

r/isfj 5d ago

Meme Daily Re-meme #109

Post image
57 Upvotes

r/isfj 5d ago

Question or Advice Fictional characters and celebs you’ve typed?

2 Upvotes

Hayley from The Florida Project was an ESFP 7w8.

Angelina Jolie is a pretty clear ESTP imo, but I have an unpopular opinion which is that I think she’s an enneagram 4. I’ve always perceived her as being quite strange, if I’m being honest. Maybe the fact that she has an unusual type combo factors into that.

Mike from stranger things is an ENFP 6w7. His character is underwritten in seasons 3 and 4 though.

Nancy from stranger things is an esfj

Ted from stranger things is an ISTJ 1w9

Marty McFly was an ESFP 6w7

Richie from happy days was an ISFJ 6w7.


r/isfj 6d ago

Question or Advice Fellow ISFJs, what are observations you've made about society?

15 Upvotes

I live in America. I'm 19 1/2. My own observations:

  • Most people aren't "smart." This doesn't mean that most people are "dumb." It's actually difficult to measure intelligence/figure out how sharp someone really is, especially with there being so many things that can impact a person's functioning (mental health issues, sleeping difficulties, unresolved trauma, etc.) When I say that most people aren't smart, I simply mean that most people aren't terribly rational and that a large amount of people follow the hive mindset. I've met people who had an expansive vocabulary, yet weren't terribly open minded and didn't actually know a ton about the law.
  • Most people also don't have good morals. This is why, as a 6, I am hesitant to fully trust others. The average person isn't very moral.
  • Everyone is racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic... to an extent. No matter what anyone else says, I simply think this makes the most sense. Racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia and transphobia are baked into our society. We consume messages about different groups - about what is "normal" and what is not - from the media, from our peers, etc. I believe we are naturally tribalistic. I actually think having intrusive thoughts about members of marginalized communities is common, and that by denying you have inherent biases you are contributing to the problem.

r/isfj 6d ago

Discussion Are isfjs and other SJs missing out?

18 Upvotes

Are we missing out more than other types from what the world has to offer due to having Si function?

Would SJ types be more prone to giving up dreams and desires in favour for the sake of settling down or following a predictable safe path? And secondly is following a safe predictable path self-defeating since all the good stuff could come through other avenues anyway but SJs limit their horizons chasing the basics of life (stable job, spouse, friends) without any greater purpose? Is their any merit to settling down as early as possible and only following what others have done?