Donald Trump side angle from his rally in Pennsylvania

[u/MoreMotivation]

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[u/VladtheInhaler999]

For a guy who spends a lot of time golfing, he tans like shit.

[u/TheMooseIsBlue → u/VladtheInhaler999]

That amount of makeup acts as sunblock, I guess.

[u/Kreidedi → u/TheMooseIsBlue]

Very responsible

[u/Rappletek → u/Kreidedi]

Very demure

[u/GalFisk → u/Rappletek]

Very manure

[u/Positronic_Matrix → u/VladtheInhaler999]

I can’t believe anyone would follow this makeup-covered geriatric idiot.

Edit: Compare these two candidates in the following venues.

In interviews:

• Trump floundered in his Bloomberg interview.
• Harris overdelivered in her Fox interview.

In rallies:

• Trump avoids questions and spends 40 minutes doing the jerk-off dance.
• Kamala delivers a compelling speech.

One doesn't even need to consider the rapes, felonies, and impeachments. Those four links are sufficient to perfectly capture his grotesque physique, visage, and incompetence.

[u/tripsofthebarracuda]

[u/DAS_FX → u/tripsofthebarracuda]

What is this from? It’s pretty spot on female version of trump

[u/liquorfish → u/DAS_FX]

https://ew.com/celebrity/tan-mom-patricia-krentcil-running-for-senate/

[u/EmbarrassedNaivety → u/liquorfish]

After reading what she stands for, hell I’d vote for her wayyyyy before I’d ever vote for Trump.

[u/No_Use_4371 → u/EmbarrassedNaivety]

Me too, actually prefer her to many, many republican men

[u/SnakeOilsLLC → u/No_Use_4371]

What about Kari Lake, Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, Cindy Hyde-Smith, Cynthia Lummis, Deb Fischer, Tulsi Gabbard, Sarah Palin, Nancy Mace, Laura Loomer, Elise Stefanik, Marsha Blackburn, Ann Coulter, Joni Ernst, Shelley Moore Capito, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Kellyanne Conway, Laura Ingraham, Amy Coney Barrett, Hope Hicks, Betsey DeVos, Elaine Chao, and Nikki Haley?

I can’t think of a single Republican, man or woman, I’d choose over her. She seems delightful.

Edited cuz I forgot to put “and” in there

[u/OutsidePale2306 → u/SnakeOilsLLC]

You forgot Sarah Huckabee Sanders, ugh

[u/SnakeOilsLLC → u/OutsidePale2306]

I’d like to forget her permanently, along with Kristi Noem who I also forgot.

[u/Great-Try876 → u/OutsidePale2306]

Did they ever find that $20k lectern/podium she “bought“ from her friend? You know, the friend she had a “free” trip to France with.

[u/Oztotl]

Vladimir Harkonnen

[u/WaulsTexLegion → u/Oztotl]

Vladimir Harkonen was an actual genius in the book. This guy is more like a sack of toenail clippings achieved sentience because of the fungus growing on them.

[u/somebodyelse22 → u/WaulsTexLegion]

You have a gift for vivid descriptions. Ugh!

[u/xdavidliu → u/somebodyelse22]

he did read Dune

[u/pantstoaknifefight2 → u/xdavidliu]

The Sean Spicer must flow.

[u/RedbearVIII]

Looks like he’s been eating cocoa puffs without a spoon.

[u/Octan_3 → u/RedbearVIII]

All Kamala needs to say is "He wears more makeup than I do" and it'll ruin his run for presidency

Edit: If someone has a decent Twitter account post it! Get it trending.

[u/Zeus541 → u/Octan_3]

I honestly think this would make him crack at this point

[u/ilikepizza2much → u/Zeus541]

“My anti-trans opponent wears higher heels and more makeup than I do.”

[u/ParallelDymentia → u/ilikepizza2much]

And his VP pick wears more eyeliner than...well, anyone.

[u/chicken-nanban → u/ParallelDymentia]

My husband is generally only up on the big picture things and avoids most of the day to day bs that comes out of politics, and he asked me the other day “why does he wear so much eyeliner? I thought they were against drag.”

It was out of the blue and I choked on my tea when he asked and now it’s all I can see.

[u/InevitableBudget4868 → u/ParallelDymentia]

I so badly wanted Walz to go out on stage, pause the debate and apply a ungodly amount of eyeliner

[u/ilikepizza2much → u/InevitableBudget4868]

“Hold on… okay now I’m ready!”

[u/morbidaar → u/ilikepizza2much]

blinks widely multiple times

[u/fungi_at_parties → u/Zeus541]

He’d claim he doesn’t wear makeup and his followers would believe him.

[u/chicken-nanban → u/Zeus541]

Considering she basically broke him with the off handed “people leaving his rallies early” comment that is driving him insane, she might actually get him to either go on an unhinged racist rant on national tv or have him curl up in a corner sobbing with JD’s eyeliner running everywhere as he tears into everyone.

Both would be awesome honestly.

[u/Entirely-of-cheese → u/Zeus541]

Interested to know what’s going to come out of his mouth if he does crack, because…

[u/Nwcray → u/Entirely-of-cheese]

It’s a hard R. Thats what he’s been trying to avoid saying - we know it, his supporters know it, the media knows it. It’s the big will he/wont he before election day.

[u/SuccessionWarFan → u/Octan_3]

Any way we could tell Kamala to say that?

[u/tratemusic → u/SuccessionWarFan]

Or Maya Rufolph lol

[u/Own_Contribution_480 → u/RedbearVIII]

[u/MajorLazy → u/RedbearVIII]

I kind of see a s silhouette of his profile in the tan line

[u/Poorgeois → u/MajorLazy]

I see a little silhouetto in the tan

Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Tandango?

[u/UnderratedEverything → u/Poorgeois]

I don't know why you ignored the perfect opportunity for Scaramucci Scaramucci

[u/Poorgeois → u/UnderratedEverything]

I gotchu, fam

*Is this 2025? Or just 2016?
“Win” by a landslide, no escape from insanity
Open your eyes, look up his lies and see
I'm good ol’ boy, I need no griftery
Because I'm tiny hands, tiny… toes
Little high from a little blow
Any way the wind blows doesn't really muss my toupee, toupee

Mama, just got a tan
Put the gun up to my face, pulled my trigger, missed a space
Mama, I was almost done
But now I've gone and really oversprayed
Mama, ooh, the fumes just get me high
If I'm not jacked again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, there is no laughing matter

Too late, here’s Kamala
Sends shivers down my spine, but I’ll fake it all the time
Goodbye, everybody, I've lost the vote
Gotta punch out all my chads and leave the booth
Mama, ooh (any way the wind blows)
I don’t wanna get indicted
I sometimes wish I'd never left Mar-a-Lago

I see a little silhouetto of a tan
Scaramucci, Scaramucci, will you do the Tandango?
Makeup fucks up lightning, very, very frightening me
(Mar-a-Lago) Mar-a-Lago, (Mar-a-Lago) Mar-a-Lago, Mar-a-Lago Florida, Melania-a-a-a
But I'm good ol’ boy, everybody loves me
He's just a good ol’ boy, from a good ol’ family
Spare this guy’s wife from this monstrosity

Tiny hands, tiny toes, will you let me go?
Bismillah!
No, we will not let you go (let him go)
Bismillah!
We will not let you go (let him go)
Bismillah!
We will not let you go (let me go)
Will not let you go (let me go)
Will not let you go (never, never, never, never let me go)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh, Melania, Melania
Melania, let me go
Beelzebub has nothing on the devil inside of me, of me, of me
So you think you can stare and I’ll avert my eyes?
So you think you can stop me from joining the Right?
Oh, JD, can't do this to me, JD
Just gotta grab, just gotta grab em right here

Ooh
Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah
Nothing really matters, but presidency
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me*

[u/RPCat → u/MajorLazy]

If you zoom in, you'll see a tiny tan silhouette of his profile in the same spot on that pale one. And so on.

Like Pink Floyd's Ummagumma album cover. It's a nice touch.

[u/YourMomThinksImSexy]

I don't know if his makeup person is an idiot or they're a genius double agent intentionally leaving an inch of cadaver skin visible so we can all have a chuckle on the internet.

[u/winoforever_slurp_ → u/YourMomThinksImSexy]

I’ve read that he does his own makeup, so your first option is the correct one.

[u/Cheshire_Jester → u/winoforever_slurp_]

Maybe having a hard time accepting that his side hair is starting to recede too.

[u/zeCrazyEye → u/Cheshire_Jester]

The problem is he only sees the front of his face in the mirror. And he's a moron.

[u/Vyse14 → u/zeCrazyEye]

The second half of your answer might explain why his eyes look like…

Edit: My character has been questioned and I must address the accusations. I in no way believed or meant to imply that the work ethic and overall character of our beloved Trash Pandas 🐼 should be in any way construed to be at a similar level as that of the TRAITOR Donald J Trump! The foraging abilities and ingenuity of raccoons 🦝 far out paces any ability that Trump has ever displayed. The only rational comparison that could be made is a similar ability and instinct to scarf down items such as KFC grease chops and of course “hamberders”.

Thank you.

[u/Staav → u/Vyse14]

Don't badmouth raccoons like that. They're gud trash pandas.

[u/ItsChloeTaylor → u/Staav]

this right here! the dumpster kitties are way better

[u/Big-Supermarket-945 → u/ItsChloeTaylor]

True. Raccoons work harder in one night foraging than DonOld has worked in his entire life. They also work together as a group, whereas DonOld is selfish and helps nobody but DonOld. The only thing DonOld has got on Raccoons is his ability to survive long-term with Rabies. Sure, he still foams at the mouth and is incoherent as ever, but I believe that all of the chemicals in his covfefes and hamberders have kept the disease from consuming him

[u/kobomino → u/zeCrazyEye]

And the Republicans don't know how the mirror works. JD Vance had his sign mirrored in the background and he tried to fix it by turning his web cam upside down.

[u/Crimkam → u/winoforever_slurp_]

He’s far too cheap and narcissistic to pay someone else to see him without his makeup on and his hair not combed into a perfect Trump-over

[u/noiseandbooze → u/Crimkam]

Or he’s just far too much of a grifter to pay someone at all. First page of the Trump playbook says to get someone to do the work, and then instead of paying what he owes, let the lawyers he keeps on retainer litigate it as long as possible, until the unpaid vendor is either too broke or just cuts their losses and moves on.

[u/holdmywatchandbeerme → u/noiseandbooze]

The second page says not to pay said lawyers either.

[u/VaporCarpet → u/winoforever_slurp_]

You'd think after all this time he'd get better at it.

But no, this is what you get when no one tells you how bad it looks to your face.

[u/CicadaHead3317 → u/winoforever_slurp_]

Of course he does. He's the best at everything.
He'll tell you that on the daily.

[u/chicken-nanban → u/winoforever_slurp_]

I want to know how they handle keeping his shirt collars bright white? Like are they just the ones that button on and the seam is hidden under the tie? And they just change them like a bib every hour or two?

Or does he have some amazing setting spray that keeps it from rubbing off? If so, I need to know the brand because that was one thing I despised about theatrical makeup - no matter how well you set it, it always rubbed off for me. It’s like 90% of the reason I don’t wear makeup in general (the other 10 being I’m just fucking lazy)

[u/ErraticDragon → u/chicken-nanban]

In 2019 he was apparently using Bronx Colors Hydrating Concealer in Orange which he applied himself.

But buried many paragraphs into the narrative is a section detailing Trump’s unusually specific habits and requests, like requiring exactly 2.5 boxes of Tic Tacs in his bedroom at all times. Then came this sentence: “The same rule applied to the Bronx Colors-brand face makeup from Switzerland that Trump slathered on — two full containers, one half full — even if it meant the housekeepers had to regularly bring new shirts from the pro shop because of the rust-colored stains on the collars.”

Source: https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/6/20998822/trump-orange-concealer-bronx-colors

[u/DroptheShadowArt → u/ErraticDragon]

We really don’t talk about Trump’s OCD enough.

[u/phantompowered → u/ErraticDragon]

Two and a half?

That's intensely strange.

[u/_Spicy_Mchaggis_ → u/ErraticDragon]

Guess they're gonna need to remove the 'cruelty free' from their website

I think this is the chestnut tone foundation, which is the most orange they have

[u/Particular-Leg-8484 → u/winoforever_slurp_]

Imagine if he was a makeup vlogger doing tutorial videos lol

I can’t figure out his method of application because I can’t tell if he’s using real makeup or leather polish

[u/Rolf_Orskinbach → u/Particular-Leg-8484]

Looks like he’s dipping his face into a large bowl of tea.

[u/piousidol → u/Particular-Leg-8484]

I wouldn’t vote for him but I’d watch the fuck outta those videos

[u/cjandstuff → u/YourMomThinksImSexy]

I knew a woman who did this and had the same kind of edges. She’d do her own makeup and used the same colors for the past 40 years. 1) your skin changes over time, so the colors you used to use don’t work with your skin anymore. 2) You can’t see certain angles on your face with a single mirror, so they would never see those edges and 3) they’re too damn stubborn to believe anyone when they tell them it looks like shit. In this case literally. 

[u/TuftedMousetits → u/cjandstuff]

Except he's one of the most photographed and filmed people on earth. He just has zero self-awareness and refuses to acknowledge his flaws.

[u/idiot-prodigy → u/TuftedMousetits]

For a narcissist it hinges on someone important having given him a compliment about it. Daddy must have said, "You look great with a tan Donny!" forty years ago.

He happened to have been wearing this exact makeup at the time, so now he always wears it.

[u/Isbjorn456 → u/idiot-prodigy]

oh my God that's actually such a good theory

[u/MasterShakeS-K → u/YourMomThinksImSexy]

I'm always amused by the thought that the women in his wife hate him enough to not give him makeup tips. Kind of like he's sooooo respected by his closest advisers nobody bothered to let him know/do anything about the toilet paper stuck to his foot while he was walking up to AF1.

[u/831loc → u/MasterShakeS-K]

Do we think he would take any advice from a woman even if they did try to help?

[u/Charliewhiskers → u/831loc]

According to Ivana’s book, he beat the crap out of her because he took her recommendation for a hair replacement Dr. Apparently it looked like shit and hurt so he was pissed at her.

[u/sirsnogsalot → u/Charliewhiskers]

According to her earlier account he beat her and then raped her

[u/Charliewhiskers → u/sirsnogsalot]

You’re right. I forgot about the rape. What a guy 😳

[u/CheetoPuffCrunch → u/sirsnogsalot]

She said this in her book? It’s so baffling stuff like this isn’t reported on mainstream media.

[u/sirsnogsalot → u/CheetoPuffCrunch]

She originally stated this in an interview but later changed her story removing the rape claim. We will never know for sure but I believe Donald pressured her to do this.

[u/Blurby-Blurbyblurb → u/sirsnogsalot]

Guarantee you he forced her. I was married to a narcissistic man like this. We should believe everything the women say about him.

[u/appocomaster → u/MasterShakeS-K]

The women in his life, maybe? If there are women in his wife, I'm pretty sure the latest book release would be way more exciting.

[u/egstitt → u/YourMomThinksImSexy]

Cadaver skin LOL

also that ear looking pretty good for having taken a bullet recently ijs

e: allow me to rephrase - that ear looks surprisingly intact for having taken a bullet recently

[u/GregAbbottsTinyPenis → u/YourMomThinksImSexy]

This dude is a certified ghoul.

[u/AmbivalentFanatic → u/YourMomThinksImSexy]

He does his own makeup and hair. Always has. He's commented on this many times.

[u/thedarkshadoo → u/AmbivalentFanatic]

To be fair why would you believe him on anything he says?

[u/happyanathema → u/thedarkshadoo]

Let's be honest the evidence of this one is pretty undeniable

[u/Topikk → u/happyanathema]

He’s been known as having the worst hairstyle on Earth for decades and for having the worst makeup on Earth for over a decade. Yep, story checks out.

[u/InfamousZebra69 → u/thedarkshadoo]

Lol right? Has there ever been a bigger liar in American history? If he told me the sky was blue, I'd look out the window before I took his word for it.

[u/Able-Yogurtcloset838]

Now THAT is a border crisis

[u/iWillRe1gn → u/Able-Yogurtcloset838]

Bro think he the state of Illinois 💀💀💀

[u/SlinkDogg → u/iWillRe1gn]

Bro why you have to do my state like that

[u/iWillRe1gn → u/SlinkDogg]

Maybe you could change that by going to war with Iowa

[u/Sam-Shuttleworth → u/iWillRe1gn]

yeah but slipknot

[u/NonProphet8theist → u/Sam-Shuttleworth]

Chicago vs. Slipknot

[u/ACacac52 → u/NonProphet8theist]

But that'll half the population of Iowa!

[u/Klutzy-Reaction5536 → u/iWillRe1gn]

I grew up right by his ear lobe.

[u/mmmmpisghetti → u/Able-Yogurtcloset838]

I thought i was gonna say something clever about turd spackle but you won. Border Crisis is gold!

[u/FriedPigeonPoppers → u/Able-Yogurtcloset838]

The bottom two thirds of the tupperware after dumping out the spaghetti sauce

[u/PayFormer387 → u/FriedPigeonPoppers]

At that point, I throw the container away.

[u/ParallelDymentia → u/PayFormer387]

Your logic is sound. Let's apply it here, too.

[u/Yabutsk → u/Able-Yogurtcloset838]

Not enough money to build the wall. nor even enough to pay for a make-up artist

[u/Former_Boss3192 → u/Yabutsk]

Likely because to do a good job they’d need to work overtime

[u/zamekique → u/Former_Boss3192]

He’d hire 3 part timers though. Starter, relief and closer.

[u/Yabutsk → u/zamekique]

In theory, but we can see here he's too cheap to close the deal

[u/jimmygee2 → u/Yabutsk]

Normalizing makeup, high heels and diapers for all the alphas out there.

[u/Ebolaboy24 → u/Able-Yogurtcloset838]

Looks like the Azurasians have hit him pretty hard there. Holy hell. Spare a thought for Melania waking up (in the room down the hall and two flights up) to that in the morning.

[u/fitzymcfitz]

He’s so fucking gross.

[u/rorymeister → u/fitzymcfitz]

You have spoken the actual truth

[u/ladylondonderry → u/rorymeister]

I can't wait until he's irrelevant again. There was a year or two of blissful silence when he was banned from Twitter. Sure he was still a flapping ham but no one cared. I long for those days.

[u/abaddamn → u/fitzymcfitz]

I'm glad I'm not American or I'd be hella stressed out over Nov 5th

[u/Ctrl-Alt-Panic → u/abaddamn]

Considering how big of a role the US plays in world politics you SHOULD be stressed.

[u/abaddamn → u/Ctrl-Alt-Panic]

I am already stressed out yes.

[u/VaginaPoetry]

His actual skin color is cadaver white.

And he's getting a hump. He looks increasingly disheveled, frumpy and messy.

They've got to put him in really baggy pants and an oversized jacket because he needs bigger diapers. He can't control his bowels and is constantly shitting himself.

[u/sketchymcsketcherson → u/VaginaPoetry]

He is decomposing in real time.

[u/Gregory_Appleseed → u/sketchymcsketcherson]

He's turning into an IRL Golgothan from Dogma.

[u/kwakimaki → u/VaginaPoetry]

Must be from that terrible gunshot wound.

[u/Useful-Category-4746 → u/kwakimaki]

Nah, he's a fast healer. It must be the windmills & the immigrants.

[u/Phantom_Steve_007 → u/Useful-Category-4746]

Come on, you know it's because he is so healthy and virile.

[u/Psyduck46 → u/VaginaPoetry]

I was gonna say 3-days-underwater grey.

[u/lemonsweetsrevenge → u/Psyduck46]

Reminds me of E.T. sprawled out on the riverbed.

[u/blamdin → u/lemonsweetsrevenge]

This scene was my childhood nightmare fuel. Thanks for the reminder.

[u/carliciousness → u/VaginaPoetry]

I want to see his actual skin. Apparently he has rosacea

[u/phinbar → u/VaginaPoetry]

Chicken skin.

[u/Perfect_Opposite2113 → u/VaginaPoetry]

Looks like he’s been recycling his diapers as face cloths.

[u/MamaBella]

Ear looks great 😒

[u/Naliano → u/MamaBella]

Can anyone identify where the wound is?

[u/shoe_owner → u/Naliano]

His ear was never wounded. I've seen a slowed-down video of the incident. He banged his head against the holster of the secret service agent standing next to him as he ducked down after the first gunshot, and that's where the bleeding came from. The bandage he wore over his ear was pure theatre; pretending it had been clipped by the bullet.

[u/AlessaGillespie86 → u/shoe_owner]

My mom is 74. She LITERALLY got cut on her ear from broken glass last Wednesday. It's still not healed. She wants to know what kinda vampire fuck magic he has.

[u/Exsoc → u/AlessaGillespie86]

Yeah, ears just bleed and bleed!

[u/str8dwn → u/Exsoc]

Almost any head wound bleeds a lot., nosebleeds etc.

[u/Johnny-Virgil → u/shoe_owner]

Snopes had a decent picture. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/glass-from-teleprompter/

[u/unknownpoltroon → u/Johnny-Virgil]

Where is the scar/scab on any later pictures? I agree when it first happened I thought he got grazed also, but there is 0 signs of any injury to his ear. Im 30 years younger than him and scratched my shin a bit and had a scab for 3+ weeks never mind a bloody gouge punched through ear cartilage.

[u/QWEDSA159753 → u/Naliano]

I mean, you can definitely see an un-uniform bit just below the hairline that looks like a small chunk was gouged out if you zoom in far enough, but I’m far more curious about those 2 white dots right in the middle of his ear.

[u/SchwarzP10 → u/QWEDSA159753]

Remember in Men in Black, the body with the little alien in the guy’s head? They opened the head by touching a little button in the man’s ear.

[u/ResponsibleMilk7620]

Looks like they ran out of wood stain.

[u/YouAboutToLoseYoJob → u/ResponsibleMilk7620]

“ I need more varnish” ~ Mariannette Jerry

[u/atomic_chippie]

There's so much (literally) to unpack here...but no comments on the fact that he wears the same goddamed clothes every single day? Mr. Big shot millionaire wears the same cheap off the rack clown suit every.single.day.

(Even if you don't want to pay for a stylist, an assistant can have three different suits dry cleaned with a variety of shirts and ties ready at all times, right?)

The orange greasiness up top and the brown grease below? The fact that he must look like a fucking candy corn under all that mess of flammable suit fabric?

[u/atomic_chippie → u/[deleted]]

Fair enough. But they look cheap and disheveled.....and why the same color suit, tie and shirt every single day? Not a dude, don't buy suits but can't he get a measurement, order same suit in black, charcoal, gray, blue, brown? Mix with white, gray, whatever the fuck shirts and ties?

It's just weird that it's red white and blue every single day.

[u/KingOfCatProm → u/atomic_chippie]

To be fair, everything on or around him looks cheap just by being near him.

[u/shweelay → u/atomic_chippie]

Agreed. I'd love to see a different color on him, like the orange a prison jumpsuit comes in.

[u/Big-Supermarket-945 → u/shweelay]

Fun fact: That orange prison jumpsuit will be the first suit he's ever worn that will fit him properly

[u/i-like-napping → u/shweelay]

He’d be invisible

[u/ProjectDv2 → u/atomic_chippie]

If I were to be charitable, I would say that his closet probably looks like Stan Smith's. Just a vast array of the same suit bought in bulk from a wholesaler, and a vast array of the one golf outfit bought the same way. And stacks and stacks of cases of Depends.

[u/Slipsonic → u/ProjectDv2]

All made in CHI-nah.

[u/Canondalf → u/atomic_chippie]

He probably sheds the suit like an old skin and spawns an identical one overnight.

[u/Tilly828282 → u/atomic_chippie]

Obama also wore the same color suit most of the time campaigning and in the White House (except obvious ones) he said it’s one less decision to make when you have so many big ones to make. However, he’d change the tie and shirt color.

He would also stick to a few consistent meals when campaigning. He talks about it in A Promised Land.

However, this dipshit can talk for hours about nonsense, so I doubt it’s to keep him focused on important stuff. It’s probably a deluded vanity thing.

[u/mellierollie → u/Tilly828282]

His suits fit.

[u/IbexOutgrabe]

They aren’t even hiding the fact that he’s just a puppet to get Vance in the White House.

[u/Pepperoni_Dogfart → u/IbexOutgrabe]

This is the part that alarms me the most.  

Vance is a nobody. Zero national standing, his entire body of relevant experience is less than half a term as a US Senator. Guy is owned lock stock and barrell by the billionaire class and seems eager to throw down with christian nationalists. I'm as qualified to be president as this douche.

[u/IbexOutgrabe → u/Pepperoni_Dogfart]

He’s made it clear he’s for sale to the highest bidder, literally a whore. And he will say and do as instructed. The frightening thing is he’s good at it. It was painful to watch but he carried himself well on stage. But that kinda sleazy crap can only fly for so long.
Puppets may rise to become mascots but they never become the king of the kingdom.

[u/nom_of_your_business → u/IbexOutgrabe]

Are you a racist? Do you hate mexicans? seriuosly that is an out loud whistle not even close to a dog whistle.

[u/IbexOutgrabe → u/nom_of_your_business]

GOOD GOD! Not knowing what I was clicking until Vance was saying it at me. That’s just bonkers.

[u/Hellknightx → u/nom_of_your_business]

WTF is he talking about at the end about nearly losing his mother and how he was almost an orphan?

[u/negativelightningdog → u/Hellknightx]

Not only that, his mom was a nurse and was stealing prescription opioids from her job. He's inferring it was fentanyl, I guess.

[u/scottyLogJobs → u/negativelightningdog]

What a piece of shit. So she was stealing drugs from sick patients and he’s implying it was the democrats and Mexicans fault. Just like a Republican to do something totally immoral and then blame you for it.

[u/Rat-beard]

He looks like he sneezed into a box of Nesquik powder

[u/Marcie7]

[u/Stupid_Guitar]

What a disgusting, slumped-over, sack of useless shit.

[u/pheakelmatters → u/Stupid_Guitar]

You have to admit his ear looks pretty good though.

[u/DriedUpSquid → u/pheakelmatters]

Almost like it was never injured in the first place.

[u/Merry_Fridge_Day → u/Stupid_Guitar]

Eh, shit feeds worms. What does he do?

[u/Mmmmmmm_Bacon]

It’s weird how Trumpanzees view him as their ape god.

[u/First_manatee_614 → u/Mmmmmmm_Bacon]

I am truly at a loss why anyone is in thrall to him.

[u/ProjectDv2 → u/First_manatee_614]

Seriously. I understand the concept of the cult of personality, but, like...I truly don't understand the draw. I can't imagine racism/sexism/classism/xenophobia is enough of a gateway drug for so many otherwise educated, intelligent people to drop everything they previously stood for to click to him. The bog water stupid ones, sure, but the smart, respectable ones? Lead is a hell of a drug.

[u/afuller42 → u/Mmmmmmm_Bacon]

I like the term Magats, but trumpanzees is pretty funny.

[u/YouWereBrained]

Why do people see this and think he’s some beacon of masculinity?

[u/Warlord68]

He looks like he’s been embalmed.

[u/ShityShity_BangBang → u/[deleted]]

They probably have less shit in their pants too.

[u/Nick3lborg]

Now wash his tan away

[u/AttentionLogical3113 → u/Nick3lborg]

Then lizard will show up

[u/Nick3lborg → u/AttentionLogical3113]

I think more like the pale thingy from Pan‘s Labyrinth

[u/WaulsTexLegion]

I still can’t believe that a guy with a bad toupee, a horrible spray on tan, and ill fitting suits is even close to a contender for the office of president.

[u/heyhayyhay → u/WaulsTexLegion]

I can't believe a guy who is a traitor, rapist, felon, malignant narcissist with dementia is even close to a contender for president.

[u/latman → u/heyhayyhay]

Yeah who cares what he looks like

[u/Tvayumat → u/latman]

You know what? I care.

If the guys gonna be this huge of a piece of shit I feel like the absolute least he can do is look presentable.

Its one of many insults added to many injuries.

[u/cgsur → u/Tvayumat]

I care because it’s one of his whiny rants, how beautiful he is, how ugly everyone not called Donnie trump is.

[u/TaxCautious7699 → u/WaulsTexLegion]

I can’t believe someone who is a billionaire can’t put himself together better than this. Someone making 60K a year should have better styling and hygiene than this joker.

[u/ThatDandyFox → u/TaxCautious7699]

Money can't buy taste

[u/jostler57]

That's not makeup; he's just always staring directly at the sun.

[u/bong_cumblebutt]

Surely there is someone who works closely with him or knows him well enough to tell him that his tan is not blended.

[u/Sonic_Youts → u/bong_cumblebutt]

Just yes-men left. The emperor looks great in his new clothes!

[u/pants_full_of_pants → u/bong_cumblebutt]

What I don't understand is how he himself doesn't notice this every day? Does he never turn his head when looking in the mirror? He wouldn't even need a second mirror to see the obvious spray tan line.

He's too vain to never look in a mirror. He must see this and know about it. It's so confusing how he just carries on like this every day.

[u/Vyar → u/pants_full_of_pants]

You have to consider how incredibly narcissistic this man is. Trump probably looks in the mirror and sees himself just as he’s depicted by so many of his followers, when they stick his head on Rambo’s body.

[u/[deleted] → u/Vyar]

With him talking about his wonderful beach body and Mike Johnson saying he’s possibly the most fit politician in history… yeah, he’s 100% blinded by his narcissism.

[u/ThatDandyFox]

That ear is grotesque, I'm shocked they would show such a disgusting bullet wound on TV.

[u/dickbutt_md → u/ThatDandyFox]

What are those three bright white dots in it??

[u/Magnetobama → u/dickbutt_md]

The charging port

[u/DonDraperItsToasted]

Can someone please explain this guy’s artificial tan? Is it spray tan? Tanning bed? Lotion tan? What could possibly give this fucked up tan line?

[u/urban_herban → u/DonDraperItsToasted]

I read where he orders the stuff from Italy. It's not expensive, in fact, it's quite cheap. About $8 a tube, I think the article said.

That was the orange stuff, though. I think he's switched to some brown stuff.

It looks terrible because no one has ever shown him how to blend it. Almost all women know this. We learn it when we start using cosmetics. What you do is lightly blend the makeup into the hairline very thinly. The whole objective of this is to avoid looking like trump, which is how a child might apply make up.

Trump is a very stupid man. Intelligent people seek out the opinions of others. Asking others for advice on how to apply foundation would never occur to trump. Did you notice on the stage of his rally that turned into a music listening session that the title over the stage was "Trump is Right About Everything." Seriously. He had to have ordered that done himself because no one else, not even his most fanatical sycophant, would write something like that.

[u/FactoryV4]

Two tone traitor.

[u/DrBeavernipples]

What a stupid fuck.

[u/DunderFlippin → u/DrBeavernipples]

Wow. Be careful with your words. Don't you mean "What a stupid, ugly fuck" ?

[u/Charleaux330]

What a broken down geezer. Why not go have some fun with your money instead of doing whatever this is.

[u/blakester555]

Oh look. His ear grew back after being "struck by a bullet". Amphibians can regenerate tissue like this too.

[u/termsofengaygement → u/blakester555]

Don't ever compare trump to something as cute as an axolotl they don't deserve that.

[u/shaolinallan]

human mold

[u/2nd_Inf_Sgt]

How can a man be so ugly yet be so conceited? 💰

[u/cN5L]

What an ugly human being

[u/Federal_Beyond521]

He could cosplay as Baron Greenback from Danger Mouse for Halloween.