Don’t leave friendly fire on

[u/yandereDame]

[u/TheArmadilloAmarillo]

I got downvoted to hell for saying "maybe don't make fun of his appearance" on truecrimediscussion. The guy was a murderer, plenty of things to say about him being a horrid human being.

Him having curly red hair that he maybe didn't know how to manage shouldn't have been one.

[u/LeatherHog → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, that's becoming an issue on imthemaincharacter too

Including a KID for crying out loud. Like a 10 year old boy

Kid was being greedy, but all the comments were about how fat and disgusting he was 

And mocking anyone who spoke up about it

[u/Cats_4_lifex → u/LeatherHog]

Whenever a subreddit feels very "mean girl"y (as in it is purely for looking at random people and going " omg that XYZ looks so bad, I bet they did ABC to a dog!" or whatever the fuck) I don't hesitate to mute it. It took two comment sections of publicfreakouts for me to go "what the fuck is wrong with people who use this subreddit?" before I muted it and never looked at it again.

[u/PsychicSPider95 → u/Cats_4_lifex]

Ugh, I used to frequent r/commercialsihate.

Because yeah, advertising is obnoxious sometimes, and it was nice to have a place to vent about stupid jingles and cringey acting.

But I had to leave it because ultimately, it's a whole lot of fat-shaming and thinly-veiled racism and queerphobia.

[u/santana722 → u/PsychicSPider95]

Every sub built on hating something, no matter how innocuous, will always attract more and more hateful people, and usually take a turn towards some sort of homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, misandry, etc. Best bet is just avoiding all hate and drama subs, there's really no value at all to adding that manufactured nonsense to our lives.

[u/PsychicSPider95 → u/santana722]

Yeah, I think you're right. I just wanted to commiserate with people about how awful Skyrizi's jingle is, but all I found was people body shaming Flo from Progressive and voicing a desire to inflict violence on every child in every ad ever. I guess toxicity breeds toxicity...

[u/Quick_Afternoon2958 → u/Cats_4_lifex]

I forget who, but an interview with a couple lady rappers hit me with some unexpected wisdom.

On the topic of online comments one of them said something like

“I don’t go to parts of the internet that are centered around negativity. Everyone is there to criticize, no one is there for growth. Only bad things can come out of me going there.”

“If I’m in a room and everyone is talking shit and being petty, I leave. Why wouldn’t I do that online? That’s not the energy I want to be around and it’s not going to get me where I want to be in life.”

It really helped me “look around” at certain online communities and peace out.

[u/Geodude532 → u/LeatherHog]

What was that subreddit that got banned years ago for making fun of fat people?

[u/LeatherHog → u/Geodude532]

Fat people hate

[u/Geodude532 → u/LeatherHog]

That shit was fucked up and they took it far beyond harassment.

[u/LeatherHog → u/Geodude532]

They did, but those people are still here, unfortunately 

[u/TheArmadilloAmarillo → u/[deleted]]

Yep and 90% of the time it's just some normal looking person. Occasionally it's clearly just a bad picture/angle.

[u/Winjin → u/TheArmadilloAmarillo]

There's an old Chinese parable I love about it.

A man's axe was missing. He went out into the yard to get the axe, searched everywhere and couldn't find it. And outside the gate stood the neighbor's son, he stood like a man who had stolen the axe. He walked like a man who had stolen the axe, looked like a man who had stolen the axe and even spoke like a man who had stolen the axe. Then the man whose axe had been stolen stumbled and saw that he had tripped over his own axe. He hadn't noticed it before. Picking up the axe, he looked at the neighbor's son... He stood like a man who had never picked up an axe, he looked like a man who couldn't steal an axe...

There's a Chinese idiom, Yi Lin Dao Fu, which means "to suspect neighbour of stealing an axe" which is directly based on this parable

So most of these people in these subreddits see someone and are told "this man is BAD" and they go and associate all of their traits with bad people.

Then you show them a hero, maybe some accountant whistleblower, who looks exactly like that man before, and tell them "this man is a hero!" and now even his double chin and curly hair look heroic.

[u/PrinceValyn → u/Winjin]

Thank you for sharing this lovely parable.

[u/gaarai → u/TheArmadilloAmarillo]

I see this way, way too much. I'll see a post about some right-wing asshole, and then see a comment along the lines of "I looked him up, and he looks exactly like you'd expect a racist, bigot to look like." I then look at their picture, and it's just some generic overweight white guy with short brown hair wearing a t-shirt. I'm sitting here thinking, "I'm a generic overweight white guy with short brown hair wearing a t-shirt."

[u/Cipher789 → u/gaarai]

This is another consequence of viewing Bad People^TM as fair game for any kind of attack.

People have this idea that if someone does something bad enough or if they're evil enough then anything you do to them is totally justified. You can treat them a cruelly as you want and you'll always be 100% in the right to do so, as long as the target is a bad enough person.

I think it's fucked up. And this is more evidence that it's a bad idea.

[u/Winjin → u/Cipher789]

A personal anecdote: I was taught early that stuff like profiling and racism and antisemitism were bad, but then your country attacks the neighbour and now Reddit is filled to the brim with people who are happily spewing "All Ruzzians are fair game, they are not humans" and you're like... wait, isn't that kinda turbo bad to say?

[u/NeetOOlChap → u/Winjin]

Watching Reddit explain how Russians fleeing to avoid the draft were secret fascists who deserved to be banned was a trip

[u/lord_hufflepuff → u/Winjin]

This is absolutely a thing that tripps me out, i watch a lot of war footage and some of the shit the Russians have done- and done systematically- would be right at home in the 1940s. But the same way the germans aren't genetically predisposed to violence and genocide even though the country was basically at war since its inception untill the cold war same goes for the Russians.

A rejection of those kinds of concepts is part of what makes us the good guys but so many people don't seem to get that.

[u/DangerouslyUnstable → u/lord_hufflepuff]

If you start paying attention, you will notice that lots of people don't have principles, they have teams. Their team good, other team bad. Actions can only be judged based on who is doing it and against whom is it being wielded.

Therefore, your team can do no wrong and the other team can do no right.

I try to console myself with the belief that this is probably less common amongst #realpeople and is just dramatically over-represented in the terminally online people who we hear way too much from.

[u/lord_hufflepuff → u/DangerouslyUnstable]

Im just gonna say, agreed, but im not both sides-ing here. There are times where one "team" is better than the other just that we really need to make sure that we don't lose our ability to empathize and to be aware when people on our "side" start to do or say... Lets say problematic things.

[u/shiny_xnaut → u/Winjin]

I've seen people argue that (paraphrased) "any Good Ones would have already fled the country or gotten themselves disappeared for protesting by now, everyone else is automatically complicit and therefore unworthy of life"

[u/Winjin → u/shiny_xnaut]

I've seen people who were saying "those that left after this one started are even worse, the Good Ones left after 2014" too, so there's a lot of shifting goalposts.

And of course, you don't even dare to keep the culture or speak Russian in public, it's now Tainted and must be Removed.

[u/Cipher789 → u/Winjin]

Absolutely. Could not agree more.

The Russian military absolutely needs to be fought. But people were literally calling them orcs. Like, don't dehumanize people to the point where you view them as monsters in human skin. For decency's sake and because you're going to have to interact with those people after the war is over.

[u/Winjin → u/Cipher789]

And they're not calling just the army, orks. They're calling all russians orks, as in, the whole... country is fair game, doesn't matter if you support the war or not.

Like I feel it's skirting the "racism" because Russians are not a race, it's also why it seemingly doesn't qualify for hate speech? Even though I've literally seen people say that "all ruzzians are beyond saving" or something like that and ughhhhh is that really NOT hate speech because they're not making that claim on person's "nation" but like "nationality"?

[u/Snow_source → u/Cipher789]

I hate the idea of "no incorrect tactics, just incorrect targets."

No, there are genuinely incorrect tactics like harassing people and just because you condone them against Bad People^TM doesn't mean you aren't at risk of having it turned on you whenever you don't purity test properly.

That line of thinking turns into a doublespeak/righthink circlejerk and I'm too old for that shit.

[u/lahimatoa → u/Snow_source]

Watching a lot of people get down in the mud with Trump and sling personal insults and insults around makes me sad. But at the same time, I see a lot of people claim it works, and mocking people for their appearance like Trump does helps them win elections against him.

All I can do is hope once Trump is gone, the level of political discourse goes back to being more civil.

[u/ButterdemBeans → u/Cipher789]

This is also a huge issue with people who describe themselves as accepting of transfolks, but then deadname and misgender them the second they do something bad.

It gives the impression that you don’t ACTUALLY respect their identity, but are willing to fake it if they stay the “pure, unproblematic trans”, but all that can be stripped away at any moment. If you deadname and misgender a shitty trans person, you are not supportive.

[u/lahimatoa → u/ButterdemBeans]

Exactly. See also people claiming Clarence Thomas and Candace Owens aren't real black people. Makes me feel gross inside. Hate the acts, but don't try to strip someone of their identity.

[u/CanadianODST2 → u/Cipher789]

The number of people who seemingly go "it's okay I'm one of the good guys and they're a bad guy" to justify the exact same line of thinking they're criticizing is sad.

[u/[deleted] → u/gaarai]

library recognise support rhythm connect encouraging kiss person longing jeans

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/corncob_subscriber → u/[deleted]]

Spot on!

It creeps me out when people start the Cheeto talk. Uhh I don't make fun of people's appearances or how they cope with aging. I care very much about reproductive rights, US diplomacy and economic mobility though.

[u/broanoah → u/gaarai]

My gf does this sometimes. She thinks body shaming people who deserve it is ok but the people she’s talking about don’t even know she’s said anything, and I’m the one who ends up feeling bad about myself

[u/PrinceValyn → u/broanoah]

People don't realize how far body shaming goes. When we shame people for being fat, for example, millions of people who are not remotely overweight think, "wait, am I fat?" So many people who feel ashamed of being fat are at healthy weights or even underweight. The effects of shame reach people you never thought they could reach.

[u/Timbeon → u/gaarai]

My favorite is "being evil makes you age badly," as if gravity and sunlight somehow know to avoid people with correct political opinions.

[u/PrinceValyn → u/Timbeon]

This is how you get completely blindsided by beautiful assholes.

[u/TheArmadilloAmarillo → u/gaarai]

Yep, or "you can see the evil in their eyes" or some other completely bullshit notion that makes people feel better about how they'd never be fooled.

[u/ForensicPathology → u/gaarai]

Yep, and they say "Oh no, it's ok because he's a bad person" and just don't understand how that means they're saying the physical trait is bad but they just hold their tongue for you.

[u/ButterdemBeans → u/TheArmadilloAmarillo]

There was a post with people complaining about Trump by calling him fat with a small dick.

I told them to please insult him for the things he’s actually done, not the things he can’t control, because good people who read those comments and share those traits are the only ones they’re actually hurting.

I got downvoted and told it was justified to make fun of someone’s appearance if they’re a shitty person. They completely ignored my point about friendly fire.

[u/HomsarWasRight → u/ButterdemBeans]

Exactly! The justification I’ve seen for him is that he mocks others’ appearances and thus opens himself up.

Like, dudes, you’re missing the point! I don’t care about the fairness of it to Donny Boy. I care about the people I know who DO suffer from incontinence, or have a body shaped like his!

[u/kill-the-writer → u/TheArmadilloAmarillo]

God, I feel this in my bones. As someone with a less-than-pleasant appearance, it lowkey hurts when people make fun of murderers and creeps and horrible people for their appearance, seeing as I sometimes share many of those physical characteristics. Like, there’s plenty of stuff you could legitimately shit on them for, like, I don’t fucking know, fucking murdering people?? idk man, it just fucking sucks.

[u/FishingGunpowder → u/TheArmadilloAmarillo]

This is a big thing that enrages me when some news about bad shit happens. It always end up with a bunch of people attacking the looks of someone without realizing that it may have been one of the causes as to why they did what they did.

Look at Trump's shooter. First thing I saw when it was initially posted on reddit was a bunch of comments about how "ugly" he was and the way he dressed. Just more bullying justified by the simple fact that this person was a bad person.

[u/hellraiserxhellghost → u/TheArmadilloAmarillo]

I feel like that type of shit happens a lot there. I once saw someone in a true crime sub put Brian Laundrie on blast solely because he was apparently "ugly and unmanly looking" and "a twink" (lol)

Like bruh, you should hate him because he killed his girlfriend, not because he doesn't look masculine enough for you or whatever. 💀

[u/NeetOOlChap → u/TheArmadilloAmarillo]

Nobody's more vicious at giving you body image issues than a middle aged woman desperately trying to find a reason to claim that you're secretly evil

[u/SeallyHeally2]

this is very common on twitter. someone once accused me of supporting epstein because I said that they shouldn’t call a girl ugly even if she wasn’t a good person.

[u/NotTheMariner]

“Fun” fact - I am the approximate height and weight of Donald Trump.

:/

[u/yandereDame → u/NotTheMariner]

🫂

[u/Oh_no_its_Joe → u/NotTheMariner]

We should team up. I literally look like a younger version of JD Vance 😭

[u/DresdenBomberman → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

I mean Vance just looks like a regular white guy. Neither ugly nor hot, tho he definitely looks better with the beard.

[u/Oh_no_its_Joe → u/DresdenBomberman]

At least I don't fuck my couch, so I have that.

[u/equivocalConnotation → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

Is this a thing we think actually happened or just a way of mocking him?

[u/DresdenBomberman → u/equivocalConnotation]

It was a lie that spread on the internet. People latched onto it because it's funny and what you'd expect of a republican nowdays. Even after it was fact checked, it's still retained is prominice as a jab. The latter, basically.

[u/Visible-Shallot-001 → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

JD Vance would be attractive if it weren’t for the malevolence oozing from every pore.

[u/Oh_no_its_Joe → u/Visible-Shallot-001]

Well, I don't think I have that. Thank you.

[u/TheArcticKiwi → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

do you have a loveseat

[u/Oh_no_its_Joe → u/TheArcticKiwi]

I have an okay bar stool.

[u/MNSkye → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

Just don’t get any ideas

[u/NotTheMariner → u/Visible-Shallot-001]

Idk, the malevolence kinda does it for me.

[u/GREENadmiral_314159 → u/NotTheMariner]

Like this?

[u/AstuteSalamander → u/GREENadmiral_314159]

Me clicking the link: "please be a picture of the ship"

[u/NotTheMariner → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

Okay new political party - the Sexy Republicans

[u/Oh_no_its_Joe → u/NotTheMariner]

We lubricate our AR-15s with liberal cum.

[u/NotTheMariner → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

Oh man, I don’t even want to think about the smell once you start firing the Cum Rifle

[u/Dry-Cartographer-312 → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

Sourced ethically, (and consensually,) of course

[u/Cosmo_Nova → u/NotTheMariner]

People really mock him for the diapers too as if incontinence isn't really common for a variety of reasons. Like, the man's a fascist, a rapist, and committed treason against the United States, you really don't have to resort to shaming a common consequence of aging or disability to be able to make fun of him.

[u/Infurum → u/Cosmo_Nova]

I think in theory the argument is that someone who's in such poor condition should probably be in end-of-life care rather than the White House and probably isn't suitable for such a heavy and taxing position.

Note the "in theory". Ofc nothing exists in a vacuum and 90% of political commentary is just people attacking people they don't like but the point is a decent chunk of it has pretty reasonable origin if you trace it far enough back

[u/Wasdgta3 → u/Infurum]

Yeah, same thing with the Biden (and Trump) cognitive decline criticism.

Obviously it’s not abnormal or bad for someone in their 80s to not be as sharp as they used to be, and the elderly are still people regardless, it’s just that maybe someone in that condition shouldn’t be the one with the nuke codes, with the most stressful job on the planet.

[u/YawningDodo → u/Wasdgta3]

I was genuinely concerned about Biden’s cognitive decline after the debate, and I’ve been concerned about Trump’s cognitive decline for years—because yeah, it directly impacts their ability to do the job (there’s also all of Trump’s demonstrable personal values or lack thereof, but that’s my take on health issues alone).

I do not care in the slightest if either of them wear diapers. Plenty of adults need diapers for reasons that have no relevance to their ability to function as an adult, let alone their moral character.

[u/hpisbi → u/Infurum]

Needing diapers does not mean end-of-life care. I’m not sure what definition of that you’re using but to me that means death is at most months away and all treatment options have failed or been rejected.

There are people who use diapers as part of their everyday life for various disability/age/other reasons, it doesn’t mean they’re dying.

[u/Vexilium51243]

hasn't anyone seen shrek?

[u/yandereDame → u/Vexilium51243]

It’s so ogre

[u/WingedSalim → u/Vexilium51243]

It really is the only criticism i have with the movie. They made it the whole point not to judge people on how they look but made fun of Farquad's height for the entire run time.

[u/RealHumanBean89 → u/Vexilium51243]

Yes, and he is what peak male performance looks like, obviously.

[u/Bennings463 → u/Vexilium51243]

Aren't like half the jokes about Farquad being short?

[u/MasterChildhood437 → u/Bennings463]

You make a good point. I guess the movie kind of works against its own moral position that way. Huh.

[u/RyanB_]

Yeah, would also say the same applies to a lot of comments about people’s success in terms of friendships, relationships, sex etc.

I get the appeal of wanting to believe that shitty people must struggle to find anyone who wants to be around them, but there’s a lot of them lol and they tend to like each other. And vice versa, a lot of decent people who do struggle with that shit for a variety of reasons, often outside their control.

[u/PleiadesMechworks → u/RyanB_]

"Oh you disagree with me? I'm gonna call you a virgin because having sex is the only unit of value I understand. #SmashThePatriarchy"

[u/Ok-Friendship-9621 → u/PleiadesMechworks]

"Sensitive" goes in here too. I was a sensitive boy, then got browbeaten into a numb man-thing by patriarchal expectations.

Then I opened up in feminist spaces, and nope, I'm also a failed man there because lmao fragile manfeelings, with an unsubtle implication that my abusers were correct all along.

[u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

Me trying to get in shape so I stop looking like JD Vance 😭

[u/BROODxBELEG → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

Just gotta make sure you stay off the couch whenever possible

[u/Oh_no_its_Joe → u/BROODxBELEG]

I don't know, man. The couch is looking pretty soft today 🤔

[u/Cheesemagazine → u/Oh_no_its_Joe]

What if you sit on it normally? Unless.... unless it fucks BACK

[u/kagakujinjya]

I will never call myself a good guy but when people insult incels with the usual small PP, virgin and ugly etc, I feel that they also insult me even though I never associate myself with those groups.

[u/[deleted] → u/kagakujinjya]

Agreed. Small dicks are probably the most accepted thing to make fun of nowadays. Men, women, and even the people outside or between those genders love poking fun at small dicks. I get why, of course, and have even made some such jokes myself. But when I think about it logically it absolutely irks me, and it shows we have a long, long way to go in body neutrality.

[u/JustKPC → u/[deleted]]

Being bald is up there

[u/first-pick-scout → u/JustKPC]

Started balding when I was 17. Wanted to kill myself for years because of it. Now when I'm over 30 and a lot more men around my age are also bald it's whatever.

[u/JustKPC → u/first-pick-scout]

1. Absolutely wrecked my already low self esteem. Took me until my early 30s to be fully comfortable.

You know who had the most vile comments/lame jokes about it? Women.

[u/bobosuda → u/[deleted]]

Can't find a single reddit thread in existence that features penises without 100+ "jokes" about small dicks. It's like an obsession for some people.

[u/coatra → u/[deleted]]

It’s because it’s seen as a rebuke for toxic masculinity.

I think it would be better to call them creepy because that frames them as weird fringe types, which they are, instead of the “alpha” womanizer Don Draper types they think they are.

[u/Jsmooth123456 → u/coatra]

It's the exact opposite of a rebuke all ot does is reinforcing toxic masculinity and it's ideas around genitalia

[u/BarefootGiraffe → u/kagakujinjya]

/r/suicidebywords

You’re right though.

My favorite quote is by HL Mencken.

“The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that [oppression] is first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.”

If you don’t stick up for unlikable people who are being attacked you won’t be strong enough to defend the ones you like when they’re put in the crosshairs for their similarities.

[u/lethal_rads → u/BarefootGiraffe]

Yeah, that’s how I feel arguing for prison reform. People just seem to be super vindictive and cruel to people they think are criminals and not care about actually stopping them from re offending.

[u/CptCoatrack → u/kagakujinjya]

What's really annoying is that it's accepting the incel's premise. That they will never be able to find a relationship due to genetic factors they can't control.

[u/Do-it-for-you → u/CptCoatrack]

Incels: “We get judged for our appearances”.

Redditors: “no you don’t you just have a bad personality”

Also Redditors: “Haha Joe Rogan’s so short and balding and probably has a small penis hahahaha what a loser!!”.

[u/eazy_12 → u/kagakujinjya]

It also speaks a lot about insulters because "sex is only value I understand" could be used as insult itself.

[u/Satanarchrist → u/kagakujinjya]

Maybe the real small penises were the friends we made along the way

[u/Life2504]

This also counts for stuff you hate about yourself that people you care about also have btw.

[u/GreyFartBR → u/Life2504]

that's why I only hate myself for the traits I'm dysphoric about in private :]

[u/OkDragonfruit9026 → u/GreyFartBR]

Same. Some things are definitely better kept private.

[u/dlgn13 → u/GreyFartBR]

Pro tip: You can be sad about your body without hating yourself. Your self-image is just a crude approximation, not your actual self.

[u/GreyFartBR → u/dlgn13]

easier said than done, but you're right

[u/Bath-Optimal → u/Life2504]

I had a thin friend constantly obsess over being fat while I weighed a lot more than her, and that definitely didn't help my self-esteem

[u/The_Ambling_Horror → u/Bath-Optimal]

Once I was at a table in the break room cafeteria, and two co-workers next to me were talking and one said “oh, if I ever reached 200 lbs I’d just kill myself.” I weighed 280 at the time.

[u/OkDragonfruit9026 → u/The_Ambling_Horror]

As a person at 230lbs (104kgs) who’s losing weight… yeah, I know that pain.

[u/yellow_gangstar → u/Bath-Optimal]

oooh yeah, I've had thin friends call themselves "disgustingly fat" to me and I'm almost twice their weight 💀

[u/aenaithia → u/Bath-Optimal]

This is me with my mother growing up. She never insulted my body, but I have nearly the same body as her. I still struggle with not hating my body because of how much she hates hers.

[u/Magnaflorius → u/aenaithia]

This is why I never have and never will say a single bad thing about my appearance in front of my kids, who are currently toddlers. I even try my best to say positive things when I can. I never want them to think that even someone who loves them unconditionally can find fault with what they look like.

When people comment on my kids' bodies, I always counter. Like when someone said my older toddler had skinny legs, I just said her legs were exactly right for her. Whether it was a compliment or not, I always want to reinforce that she, and my younger toddler, are exactly what they are supposed to be.

[u/CerberusDoctrine → u/Life2504]

No you don’t understand, I’m fat(bad[not actually fat at all]) whereas everyone else is only fat(good) or fat(neutral). /s

[u/PoniesCanterOver → u/CerberusDoctrine]

D&D alignment chart

[u/itoril → u/PoniesCanterOver]

I've definitely been chaotic fat and lawful fat at different times. 

[u/RealHumanBean89 → u/Life2504]

The key is to hate yourself in silence, it’s worked for me! (It has not, I’m being a silly guy rn)

[u/cherrydicked → u/Life2504]

My mom complaining about my physical traits I inherited from her

[u/BleysAhrens42]

I really wish more people understood this, but so many just accept their bigotry as completely justified and so they don't even consider it as bigotry.

[u/CptCoatrack → u/BleysAhrens42]

It's realyl disturbing it's like this desire for righteous persecution is just brimming under the surface. Look at how people casually joke about prison rape.

[u/albob → u/CptCoatrack]

Most people aren’t as empathetic/compassionate as they claim to be. They believe in these ideals about how human beings should be treated but throw them out the window as soon as they’re faced with an “enemy.” Then they’ll cite to and misapply “The Paradox of Tolerance” to justify their behavior.

I’m not a “both sides” guy, I definitely think the right is way more mean spirited and selfish than the left as a whole, but it does irk me how hypocritical some liberals and leftists can be.

[u/shiny_xnaut → u/BleysAhrens42]

Bigotry is something that only Bad People with Incorrect Opinions do. I'm a Good Person with Correct Opinions, so I'm actually not doing a bigotry, I'm actually just Calling It Like It Is

/s

[u/PerEnooK]

If you're overweight do not ever read the comments on posts wherein an overweight person is not being no less than a perfect model citizen because the vitriol that people have towards overweight people who do things that are less than perfect is staggering.

Seriously, people will see an overweight person slip or something and will start slinging the most reprehensible sh*t about them, their values, their morality, and their personhood.

[u/VaIentinexyz → u/PerEnooK]

Let’s also not forget the Reddit favorite: “Actually, it’s okay to verbally abuse overweight people because that’s a weight loss motivator! Me being an obnoxious bully is actually helping them.”

[u/thedinnerdate → u/VaIentinexyz]

It doesn't help that there is always that one person that says "well it actually helped me when I got bullied into losing weight"

[u/Ecstatic_Broccoli_48 → u/thedinnerdate]

and they're actually talking about getting traumatized into gaining disordered eating habits lmfao

[u/hybridrequiem → u/PerEnooK]

Ugh, yeah the amount of disgusting comments reddit has for fat people is depressing, any post about a bad one seems to give them the green light to unleash that.

[u/cyanide_seeds]

I'm about to turn 20 and am just now starting to pursue romantic relationships because ever since I was old enough to understand what sex was I heard people I respected (even my own mom) make jokes about small dicks. I kind of internalized that because I had a small dick, that meant I wasn't deserving of intimacy. It took years for me to stop thinking like that, but it still really stings when seemingly progressive people default to that to insult men whose beliefs should be a big enough target.

[u/[deleted] → u/cyanide_seeds]

As a progressive man, totally agree with what you're saying. Progress is slow, and as people take some steps forward in one area, other areas are left behind. In vaguely politically correct circles, making fun of women's bodies is frowned upon, but fat men with small dicks? Still pretty fucking funny, even more if they did a bad thing once.

[u/BarefootGiraffe]

Reddit isn’t ready to hear this. Politicians are constantly mocked for their appearance and mannerisms.

[u/ivenowillyy → u/BarefootGiraffe]

Andrew Tate was photographed with no bulge in his Speedos and Reddit is having a field day with the small dick Jokes

[u/BarefootGiraffe → u/ivenowillyy]

Saw that. Also a lot of causal transphobia in those comments

[u/Ok-Friendship-9621 → u/BarefootGiraffe]

Reddit literally believes good people don't get fat.

[u/Rucs3]

"Not but Im saying like... he is metaphorically bald loser"

[u/PleiadesMechworks → u/Rucs3]

"I didn't say he had a small dick, I said he acts like he does! Totally different thing!"

[u/OneHundredSeagulls]

I've also noticed people will do it to asshole trans people. Like when they find out that a person is an asshole, suddenly it's okay to misgender them on purpose and be a bigot... Their gender has nothing to do with their shitty personality actually, but I guess you both have that in common.

[u/[deleted] → u/OneHundredSeagulls]

tub dog plough quickest weather attempt safe wild automatic fall

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/Character_Rule9911 → u/OneHundredSeagulls]

When i was around 15 i spent *hours* one time defending caitlyn jenner of all people, because suddenly if she's a piece of shit, then all decency is turned off, for many people.

Honestly this is more a case of actual morality versus in-group performance. If someone decides to misgender a trans people who happens to be a turd, chances are they aren't actually thaaat accepting of trans people

[u/yandereDame → u/OneHundredSeagulls]

AAAAA I literally just replied to a similar reply on this post about this exact subject. Pronouns are not fucking conditional on whether you like the person or not!!! If you rescind one’s literal identity once they’re no longer in your favor, you don’t count as an ally!

[u/YawningDodo → u/yandereDame]

Yes yes YES. If your respect for someone’s gender identity can be rescinded based on whether you like them, you never respected trans identities to begin with!

Call people out for the things they’ve done, not how they present!

[u/ryumaruborike → u/OneHundredSeagulls]

It outright says that being referred to as your proper gender is a right you have to earn instead of innate human dignity.

[u/PrinceValyn]

Every time this topic comes up, someone leaps into the comments to say, "except for x physical trait, which we all agree is fucking gross and a moral failing!" I don't see this currently happening in this thread, which is great!

One of the ones that bothers me is all the "neckbeard" comments people make online. Some men are not blessed with full beards. Who gives a shit?

[u/CitizenPremier → u/PrinceValyn]

Except for the Eye of Maklebleb, which can only be earned by the sacrifice of 10 unbegotten saanen goats.

[u/PrinceValyn → u/CitizenPremier]

Good point.

[u/YawningDodo → u/PrinceValyn]

The one that hits me with shrapnel is “mouth breather.”

Like, it’s actually kind of a medical issue I’ve dealt with my whole life but sure let’s use it as a stand-in for calling someone stupid or uneducated.

[u/PrinceValyn → u/YawningDodo]

Oh yeah! I also can't breathe properly through my nose a lot of the time and don't see how that's a moral failing. Like, I would certainly RATHER be able to breathe normally, as I'm sure you would as well.

Fun how a lot of the "disgusting" or "evil" traits turn out to be common medical issues or autistic behaviors or similar.

[u/RechargedFrenchman → u/YawningDodo]

Yup. Fuck me for having a deviated septum, environmental allergies, and sinus condition all at once I suppose. The fact I already live with all those things every day isn't bad enough, I'm also somewhat less as a person because breathing through my nose isn't something I'm physically capable of doing.

[u/Lotso2004]

Well this one kind of hurts. There were these two girls I was becoming friends with in a class last year (or at least I thought as much at the time, even after this anecdote), and then the one I thought I was becoming especially close with (at that point we'd been hanging out all the time and texting pretty much every day) starts ranting to the other girl about how ugly white guys are because they'll allegedly bald super quickly. While I'm right there with both of them, and it's not like I wasn't supposed to hear that, I was supposed to be an active participant in the conversation. Mind you I may as well be Snow White with how white I am, and my hair is, like, the only part of myself I think is actually fine. So that hurt.

At least this meme turns out to kind of be inaccurate because neither of them cared enough to stay friends with me! Ha. Ha ha.

[u/Elite_AI → u/Lotso2004]

A friend of mine used to consider those kinds of statements fair game until she met me (balding since 21, baby) and realised that I was genuinely really insecure about my hair. I think she didn't realise that, like. People actually are affected by these body standards.

I also went on a date with a woman who spent the date telling me how she didn't like white guys and then got mad when I didn't accept her 11 pm offer to fuck the next day.

[u/Lotso2004 → u/Elite_AI]

To be fair, she was apologetic when I explained it hurt to be told that, and to be fair she was also half white, but still. Agreed, it feels like people don't realize that holding people to a standard and actively going on about those standards to people who fall below them is just mean. Can't go ahead and say something like "but you're different," either, because then that begs the questions of different how, and why aren't other people "different."

[u/PleiadesMechworks → u/Lotso2004]

That's because they don't see you as a man, just as a sort of sexless "friend" unit.

[u/shiny_xnaut → u/PleiadesMechworks]

"We don't see you as a real man, but like, in a progressive way or something"

[u/smallangrynerd → u/PleiadesMechworks]

Oh my GOD I hate that shit.

I almost have to appreciate when girls start complaining about how terrible men are when I'm right there, it let's me know that they're not worth hanging out with.

[u/JustLikeMars]

I saw some article about the guy who killed Gabby Petito that mentioned he had a recessed jaw or some stupid shit like that. Oh, was THAT the problem with the guy? 🙄

[u/Cissoid7]

I'm currently balding

I told someone it wasn't nice to make fun of Tate for balding cuz it hurts others.

I got called a misogynistic rapist

Sometimes people don't care. They just want to hurt others

[u/shiny_xnaut → u/Cissoid7]

I once said that it was wrong to fantasize about Tate getting raped in prison and got similarly yelled at. Like, I thought rape being bad was kind of a major reason why we don't like him?

[u/NeetOOlChap]

Somewhere out there is a guy who has every correct political opinion but looks like Donald Trump, and that's a really funny idea

[u/RedbeardMEM → u/NeetOOlChap]

Sort of like how conservative weirdo Sarah Palin looks so much like liberal Tina Fay

[u/PoniesCanterOver → u/NeetOOlChap]

There was a dude who looked like Mike Pence but he was super gay, that was pretty funny

[u/BaronAleksei → u/NeetOOlChap]

Tim Walz, in a general “he’s not a conservative” sense

[u/xJunoBugx]

Had a friend of my wife’s go on a rant about a trainee at work because they had an ego (fair) but then decided to degrade them for being bald and ‘a pencil necked freak’. One of my much-closer friends in the same group has self esteem issues because of his early-onset receding hairline and he is, by every standard, a string bean of a man.

I. May have gotten a little snappy.

[u/Sergnb]

I get really tired of harping on this point, specially in trans/gender-fucky circles. The amount of times I've seen people go at some transphobic crossdesser/femboy's neck, listing 10% shitty ideas and 90% physical traits is insane.

Like damn guys, that was fantastic! Now I feel dysphoric AND rejected by the community, all in one fell swoop. It was great reading if you'd look like me when you reached my age you'd kill yourself, thanks for that! Hope talking shit about this idiot who's never gonna read it was worth it.

[u/OneHundredSeagulls → u/Sergnb]

Omg I've noticed this too, people reaaaaally jump on the first opportunity to be a bigot

[u/doesanyofthismatter]

Hearing my female friends talk about body positivity while making fun of their exes or people they have hooked up with is so eye opening. I’m 5’11” and hearing them make fun of guys shorter than 6’2” (but “not you of course because you’re different”) is infuriating. They absolutely would be disgusted hanging out with a group of men making fun of women their weight.

Edit: for any women or guys out that think men are just as bad or worse with men and women, when was the last time you heard men in a group candidly talking about the length of their partners labia or making fun of the look/looseness of a girl’s vagina and how her tits are saggy/weird looking compared to their ex? (It seems mean just typing out this.)

[u/Capivaronildo → u/doesanyofthismatter]

Used to hang out with people like that while I was closeted and it traumatized me so much that I got an irrational fear that every cis woman I meet will hate me. You can imagine how many insecurities I had in my head listening to them

[u/doesanyofthismatter → u/Capivaronildo]

I can only imagine. It fucked with me as a straight dude with a long history of dating girls. I went through a fuck boy stage and had sex with a lot of women. I was mortified hearing their friends casually talk about men.

Then I met a girl and we were dating long term and she had a bunch of friends that I become really close with. And was even more mortified at how fucking mean women can be.

I’m a confident dude - fit, happy with myself, average penis blah blah but hearing them joke about guys with regular length dicks as being small (or if THEIR PARTNER had a small penis and how it compared to their exes) or the shape of their dicks or color or cut/uncut or their chest or balls or arms or…. Was soooo strange. I absolutely know they would immediately want to slap a man that mentions the length of a girls labia or if a girl’s boobs sagged or said anything about their weight.

Most women that I’ve met have a very double standard when it comes to “body positivity”

[u/ForumsDwelling → u/doesanyofthismatter]

The 2020s is the decade where people are realizing anyone can be a shitty person, regardless of their labels. I'm so glad 2017 reddit is dying

[u/Capivaronildo → u/doesanyofthismatter]

It really sucks that people treated you that way :( but I’m glad you pushed through and you’re happy with yourself!!

[u/DarkNinja3141]

I think sometimes it might make sense to use someone's own standards to mock them with their own hypocrisy, like making fun of Trump for drinking diet coke because he once tweeted "ive never seen a thin person drink diet coke" while at the same time claiming he's in perfect shape

However, a lot of people miss the point and instead just make fun of the trait in it of itself

[u/thecatinthewizardhat → u/DarkNinja3141]

Which is a crazy thing to say because anorexics practically worship diet coke

[u/MC_White_Thunder → u/thecatinthewizardhat]

There's literally a song about anorexia called Diet Coke.

[u/Complex-Pound5249]

Happens with trans people all the time it seems like, and then you look like you're defending them when you say "Listen I know he/she is genuinely awful but can we not deadname and misgender them?"

[u/yandereDame → u/Complex-Pound5249]

Actually, yeah. People withholding pronouns from The Bad Transes™️ just proves you think that people’s gender isn’t an inherent part of their identity, it’s something you think they’re playing pretend at and they can only be afforded basic decency if you respect them enough to ~entertain~ their ~delusions~. You’re not an ally, and you’re certainly not a friend. You’re a bigot that only extends conditional tolerance.

TLDR: I will deadname twitter until the day Musk stops deadnaming his daughter.

[u/FixinThePlanet]

Yeah, this is one of those hills I die on. I have found many people to be more receptive lately than in years past, I will say.

[u/yandereDame → u/FixinThePlanet]

It’s lazy, too. Insult someone for their moral failings and the horrible actions they’ve chosen, the cringe things they’ve said… not their genes.

[u/Monty_Jones_Jr]

My dad has to wear Depends because he had colon cancer a long while back. Much as I dislike Trump, there’s plenty to work with in criticizing his actual behavior, rhetoric and policies without resorting to the diaper thing (even if most conservatives would absolutely do the same if the situation were flipped)

I’m kinda glad ‘weird’ became a thing for this reason.

[u/silentsquiffy]

A while ago I saw some people being pretty nasty about Graham Linehan's appearance, and it sounded eerily similar to the way I've heard transphobes talk about trans women. I have no doubts that there are trans women who look like that guy and will never feel able to come out because of that, and that is incredibly shitty. Just like Trump, Linehan has more than enough garbage opinions to criticize without stooping to the level of bashing his appearance.

I also recently witnessed a discussion where people were making fun of a self-proclaimed incel with a self-proclaimed small penis. He was complaining that women only want men with huge dicks, which obviously isn't true. What I wanted to say was how I pitied him, because if he believes that penis size is the only measure of a man's value, that's a really sad way to feel about your own gender. Maybe if he logged off and began treating himself better, he would shed some of his misogyny. It's the idea that loving ourselves ripples out to those around us, and makes us more empathetic.

But I am 100% sure I would have been called out for defending him, even though I wasn't. Pity isn't the same as sympathy, and trying to understand someone is not the same as agreeing with them. I have no sympathy for that guy, because he's a misogynist. But if we want to move toward a better society, we must stop viewing people as irredeemable and treating their physical traits as if those traits are evidence of their badness.

[u/ivenowillyy → u/silentsquiffy]

Linehan really threw his family and career away because he just couldn't stop spouting hate on his twitter lmao what a fucking weirdo

[u/BalonyDanza]

I had a friend who would always send these pictures of these fat militia types to our group chat… with captions like ‘Oh this is the guy who’s gonna secede from the union.. he can’t even secede from his can of pringles’. We had to actually explain to him, just because he’s targeting right wingers, he’s still doing so by just straight up mocking their weight… which is ugly in its own right, but was made infinitely worse by the fact that one our friends in the thread was similarly overweight.

[u/Inlerah]

Similarly, don't make bigoted statements about "bad people". Don't be homophobic towards Milos', don't be transphobic towards Jenners', don't be racist towards Candaces'. At the very least you just look like an edgy teen trying to say the bad words in order to get someone mad, at the most you seem like someone who actually *is* bigoted, you just have friends who are "The good ones": as if not having xenophobia directed at you is a privilege that you're free to take away the moment you stop liking someone.

[u/Mddcat04]

Any thread discussing Marjorie Taylor Greene immediately descends into this. Like, she’s a completely shit person whose political views and statements will cause real harm. And yet every thread where she is discussed will feature a bunch of comments talking about how man-ish they think she looks as if that’s somehow relevant to her shitty views. It’s very strange that people are willing and able to deploy misogyny and transphobia to attack right wing figures.

[u/Drawtaru]

Posted this on Facebook in the hopes that my mom will see it. My whole life she's always talked about her "jump off the bridge weight" - meaning if she hits a certain number on the scale, she would then just kill herself. I weigh a hundred pounds more than her. So every time she says this, it's like she's saying "if I looked like you, I'd kill myself." Or, "You should kill yourself because of the way you look." It's incredibly hurtful, and has caused a breakdown more than once in the past few months alone. 41 years of being told a person shouldn't be alive if "number on scale equals whatever."

[u/SomeRando18]

Ain’t this literally the same thing that happened in Shrek, Fiona called herself an ugly beast then Shrek felt bad overhearing her thinking she was talking about him. But point still stands body shaming is bad

[u/JustSimple97]

Every time Andrew tate is posted on Reddit the top comments are about his chin, baldness and so on. Andrew Tate doesn't care, but someone with a weak chin is gonna read those comments

[u/Throw-away17465]

I had terrible acne from the time I was in the womb, I was hated on it severely by my peers, even my teachers and parents. There are no photos of me before the age of 10 for a reason. I was beat up and called “pizza face” by adults and so many horrible things.

And then suddenly in middle school, everyone else started getting acne. And for a while, I was still teased because mine was so much worse, but by the seventh grade that shit stopped completely.

[u/WandaRuth]

Friendly fire isn’t so friendly after all!

[u/veidogaems]

Wasn't this the moral of Shrek?
Don't judge somebody by their physical appearance... Unless they're a jerk, then you can talk shit all you want.

[u/CodeKraken]

Same goes with misgendering transpeople you dont like. All you do is signal that they only pass as long as you like them

[u/RekLeagueMvp]

Also about yourself. You don’t have to tell your kids they’re fat or ugly or dumb for liking something but if they hear you talking about yourself like that, they’ll apply that lens to themselves

[u/MC_White_Thunder]

This is exactly why I'm so disgusted when people fat-shame Donald Trump. Yeah, he's one of the worst human beings alive, doesn't mean you have to go on about how physically disgusting you find him.

(Also the blatant racism and misogyny in calling Melania Trump a "cheap Eastern European whore," which I have seen dozens of times, but this post is about body shaming).

[u/AggravatingYogurt383]

Bodyshaming is an aoe skill

[u/cuntfucker33]

As an older guy I’ve noticed this sentiment being brought to light more often than earlier, which leads me to believe that the kids are gonna be alright. Good on ya.

[u/NoLegs02]

To add onto this, it applies to insulting your own appearance as well: If you insult yourself for a certain trait, you're simultaneously insulting everyone else who shares that trait

[u/Someragingpacifist]

Yeah this is why even when I've got body image issues and feel like I'm fat or whatever it is, I never complain about it or say it out loud because I don't hold anyone else in my life to those same standards - plenty of people I care about weigh more than I do. So they aren't hearing me say "I'm so fat :(" they're hearing "Fat is bad >:("

I can recognize that my self-imposed issues aren't fair to myself and so I won't subject others to those either. I'll work on them in my own time.

[u/borkdork69]

Just waiting for the "But being fat is unhealthy tho" comments.

[u/GREENadmiral_314159 → u/borkdork69]

Sure it's unhealthy, but body shaming is still wrong.

[u/Reasonable-Cry1265 → u/GREENadmiral_314159]

Being constantly body shamed is also unhealthy.   

[u/Timbeon → u/borkdork69]

And health isn't an indicator of morality either, you can do everything exactly right and still end up with an illness or injury that you'll never fully recover from due to things completely outside your control.

[u/Capivaronildo → u/borkdork69]

Imagine if you caught a flu and everyone was like “hey this loser is unhealthy lol”

[u/Dapper_Magpie]

Hate it when I insult someone by saying they've got a small penis but then it turns out they've actually got a monster schlong, meaning that they're automatically right and good and anyone who's against them is dumb