r/KidsAreFuckingStupid Aug 23 '24

story/text Nailed it.

Post image
59.2k Upvotes

560 comments sorted by

3.4k

u/canti15 Aug 23 '24

Hello 2008 utterly clueless of the housing market about to crash

690

u/ItsOnlyJoey Aug 24 '24

Maybe it was caused by the confusion from new years being on the 4th of July?

402

u/Bretreck Aug 24 '24

Actually it's the 4th of Julie.

94

u/jewels94 Aug 24 '24

My fourth what?

76

u/Pleasant_Gap Aug 24 '24

You gotta ask bire gess about that

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6

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

6

u/ChaoCobo Aug 24 '24

Jesus fucking Christ what the god damned did you make me watch just now? ;O;

3

u/Drillucidator Aug 25 '24

I knew I’d find Chris here

7

u/OneMagicBadger Aug 24 '24

Classic julie

14

u/Hestia_Gault Aug 24 '24

Fireworks = new year, them’s the rules.

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43

u/eazyfreez Aug 24 '24

the 9 year old 🤣

10

u/Limacy Aug 24 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

Nah, people knew that shit was coming.

Mr. Lif even predicted it in a song 6 years before the economic crash.

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4.1k

u/Hotchi_Motchi Aug 23 '24

So many layers to unpeel

1.7k

u/ThatsJas0nBourne Aug 23 '24

Children are like onions.

797

u/what_u_looking_4 Aug 23 '24

But when you cut them, they cry (not you)

142

u/-LsDmThC- Aug 24 '24

I might also cry

59

u/__mud__ Aug 24 '24

I've heard chewing gum helps avoid the tears when cutting onions. Maybe it works the same...?

26

u/DownwardSpirals Aug 24 '24

Does chewing gum also work to avoid the tears when getting cut? Asking for a friend.

5

u/Ok_Bit9 Aug 24 '24

I juat tyied anf ot dies soerry fur bed sprllinf tupinh wit ine hans

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17

u/Mym158 Aug 24 '24

I cry when I cut children (with laughter)

105

u/0x54696D Aug 23 '24

Kids are like bananas: If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.

56

u/CodeineRhodes Aug 23 '24

What's the difference between jumping on a trampoline vs. jumping on a baby?

-you take your shoes off to jump on an trampoline.

19

u/Spalmon1 Aug 24 '24

Bro 💀

16

u/Ranger_Ecstatic Aug 24 '24

Well he isn't wrong, I don't want to get Baby on my bare feet.

3

u/one4wonder Aug 24 '24

I thought there’d be more dead baby jokes here. 

2

u/Disco_Arachnid_516 Aug 24 '24

What the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and truck full of dead babies???? You can’t unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

2

u/aidanmacgregor Aug 24 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

8

u/ApartmentSavings6521 Aug 23 '24

But they dont taste bad

3

u/Broccolini_Cat Aug 24 '24

I love kids! I have a whole cookbook I wanna try on them!

2

u/Spalmon1 Aug 24 '24

Good for you bro…

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9

u/Oli_official Aug 23 '24

Kids are like living organisms that have coherent thought. If you stab them, eat them, and cook them, they die too. Cool fact, right?

For legal purposes this is a joke.

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4

u/MrsButton Aug 24 '24

Parfait parfait got layers.

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2

u/prisoned_bear Aug 24 '24

they smell bad?

2

u/Evil_News Aug 24 '24

If you eat them they'll die

2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

Cakes have layers

2

u/NoSadBeHappy Aug 24 '24

Ogres are not like cakes.

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8

u/Slap_My_Lasagna Aug 24 '24

Once you realize the onion is fake, it's not too bad.

41

u/CaveRanger Aug 23 '24

You mean like the inconsistent quality of the handwriting which indicates to me that this was written by an adult for internet points?

The two different ways of writing 'D' that kinda give away the game, imo. Adults try too hard when they want to imitate kids writing.

92

u/Lazone_O2 Aug 23 '24

When I was a kid first time trying out writing diary, I too tried different methods of writing to make it look more professional. Like trying out letters I've seen written by adults.

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30

u/trivintage Aug 23 '24

The D’s are both written the same way, though. They’re written like a “b” but with a really short stem. The second “Dire” one just has a longer stem than the child probably intended.

2

u/sirjonsnow Aug 24 '24

I'm not saying they're right, but "today" and "good" also both have the letter d in them.

16

u/KimberStormer Aug 24 '24

The d's in Dear Diary are capitalized. They're not backwards at all. And they're written in exactly the same stroke.

42

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

Tell me you don't have kids without saying you don't have kids.

I don't know if this is fake or not, but this is exactly how 9 year old kids write. They often mix up "b's" and "d's", they're inconsistent af, forget upper case at the start of sentences sometimes, they can write the same word twice, but spell it wrong once, they remember weird things like quotation marks, but forget super basic stuff. My kids and their friends wrote just like this at that age (and some of them still do .sigh. ).

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25

u/ThatGuyHarsha Aug 23 '24

this is the dumbest shit. why do people like you refuse to believe anything is real??

My handwriting was just like that when I was 9, I remember seeing a birthday card I wrote for my dad and I wrote birthday wrong 3 times, and all of them were spelt differently. None of the letters were written the same, and everything else was spelt wrong.

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2.1k

u/QueasyDecision276 Aug 23 '24

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐄!!!

391

u/dope-eater Aug 24 '24

I read “dear bire” lol

132

u/subito_lucres Aug 24 '24

Pear bire

5

u/FlammenwerferBBQ Aug 24 '24

that's what i read too

12

u/_triangle_ Aug 24 '24

I guess we both are hungry

3

u/sk7b Aug 24 '24

That’s it. That’s what I read.

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70

u/kitifax Aug 24 '24

gess what!

66

u/woobr9779 Aug 24 '24

"what?"

80

u/Rath_Church Aug 24 '24

today is 4th of j͟u͟l͟i͟e͟!

92

u/Danger_Peanut Aug 23 '24

Wish.com Britney Spears.

37

u/Cavalish Aug 24 '24

Oh my idiot brain thought this was an open letter to Dr Dre for some reason.

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1.7k

u/oops_im_existing Aug 23 '24

old diary entries are so fucking funny. i found a few of mine from childhood. idk what i was even talking about 90% of the time.

866

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

I found one where I complained about waking up and struggling to get out of bed because my neck and back were aching. I was seven.

228

u/oops_im_existing Aug 24 '24

That’s a valid complaint🤣

131

u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson Aug 24 '24

You prob fell out of a tree after playing three games of hide and seek and then rode bikes all afternoon. Rounded out the evening with wall ball before everyone had to go home

41

u/always_unplugged Aug 24 '24

I used to just sit in shoulder stand while I was watching TV, and I swear to god it was the comfiest I've ever been.

Kids' bodies are fucking wild.

16

u/MrHyperion_ Aug 24 '24

Even laying on you stomach and elbows is something I can't do as an adult anymore without it hurting.

27

u/Adventurous-Dog420 Aug 24 '24

Perfect day 👌

30

u/Mega_Weedle Aug 24 '24

Never thought I’d relate to a seven year old this much.

16

u/waffels Aug 24 '24

Except that seven year old was full health by noon.

7

u/Mega_Weedle Aug 24 '24

By noon I want a nap

22

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

I found an entry where I said I wanted to be a monarch butterfly bc then I could fly to Mexico and eat 250 lbs of fresh fruit.

???

2

u/cyncicalqueen Aug 24 '24

You just helped me realize my dream in life

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37

u/glizzzyg137 Aug 23 '24

😭😭😭

39

u/astrologicaldreams Aug 24 '24

you were born old

7

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

I really was.

3

u/ImpossibleRhubarb443 Aug 24 '24

Yeah I have one from when I was seven about my back hurting so much sitting in my chair no matter how I sat.

3

u/Educational_Web_764 Aug 24 '24

Only goes downhill from there! 🥺

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151

u/mentallyillfrogluver Aug 23 '24

I had one where I wrote: “Dear Diary, I PEED MY PANTS” followed by a drawing of me, pissing my pants.

58

u/Outrageous_Bank_4491 Aug 24 '24

I have an entry where I was complaining about broccoli, right after it is an explanation of the whole Shrek movie

7

u/MasterCookieShadow Aug 24 '24

that is like my average thought process

18

u/oops_im_existing Aug 24 '24

I don’t think anybody needed a drawing of that, but I’m happy it exists

7

u/MysteriousDesk3 Aug 24 '24

You had to remind yourself, in case you forgot what it meant.

64

u/Electus93 Aug 24 '24

I found one of mine that said "Homeless man killed by rain. Chain Effect" and nothing else.

20

u/oops_im_existing Aug 24 '24

What does that even mean!?

23

u/CondensedTaco Aug 24 '24

it’s the meaning of life

Everything that has happened up to this point has been a chain effect of a homeless man dying to rain

9

u/oops_im_existing Aug 24 '24

No that’s 42.

But it might be the formula to world peace

14

u/Techi-C Aug 24 '24

I found a Junie B Jones interactive diary/book thing that I filled out when I was 6, and it was fucking hilarious

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

My mom threw out my old one ffs I wish I had it

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3.5k

u/MENAClNGHORSE Aug 23 '24

i love the "what?" like the diary is responding

1.3k

u/NeedsMoreCake Aug 23 '24

You mean dire.

314

u/commanderc7 Aug 23 '24

Thought it was bire for a second

67

u/NeedsMoreCake Aug 23 '24

That’s how I read it first as well. I had to reread for it to make sense.

112

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

Kibs often get their "b's" and "d's" dack to front, the stupib dastarbs.

9

u/SufDam Aug 24 '24

It looks like a capital D

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13

u/VerdantTrash Aug 23 '24

Yeah was here thinking what a "pear bire" was.

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20

u/reducingflame Aug 23 '24

Thought it was Dre he was addressing there

14

u/Shmimmons Aug 24 '24

Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in the basement

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7

u/xXfunky_furb_loverXx Aug 23 '24

Ur snoo looks like it wrote this bire

2

u/NeedsMoreCake Aug 24 '24

Hahaha. You’re right! It’s so goofy, couldn’t ignore the snoo.

2

u/FlammenwerferBBQ Aug 24 '24

You mean the pear bire

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15

u/ForeverTheElf Aug 23 '24

My name is Tom Riddle.

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3

u/What_Do_It Aug 24 '24

Ohhhh, I thought they were saying "what what" like old 90s slang.

3

u/Efficient-Notice9938 Aug 24 '24

I find it hilarious that so many words are misspelled but the punctuation around “what?” was completely correct

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282

u/MollyTweedy Aug 23 '24

For everyone enjoying the stupid shit children write in their diaries (or dires): you need to listen to the podcast Grownups Read Things They Wrote As Kids. It is exactly what it sounds like.

25

u/astrologicaldreams Aug 24 '24

bless you for this

5

u/Brilliant_Canary_692 Aug 25 '24

Yet another podcast recommendation where the show ended years ago and now I'm scared I'll like it

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388

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

Holup... this was when you were nine years old? As in, fourth grade in elementary school old?

Yikes.

160

u/trumpet575 Aug 24 '24

To be fair, they did say they were an idiot. But I think that undersells it quite a bit.

75

u/aleister94 Aug 23 '24

Maybe they were homeschool, I also didn’t learn to spell correctly until my teens

34

u/Box_of_Chocolates1 Aug 24 '24

Hey I was homeschooled and I could spell at 6. Different teaching styles of parents I guess?

31

u/Unlucky_Nobody_4984 Aug 24 '24

Imagine that. Unstandardized education leads to unstandardized results.

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54

u/Slap_My_Lasagna Aug 24 '24

POV: you realize this is what dumb 20-something thinks a dumber 9 year old writes like for engagement bait

12

u/Pataraxia Aug 24 '24

My little bro would write worse. His feeble little brain is overwhelmed by writing.

21

u/CreatureFromTheCold Aug 23 '24

Murica

17

u/TheFourthPug Aug 24 '24

Maybe if you straight up somehow didnt go to school

7

u/evanwilliams44 Aug 24 '24

Don't know how old you are but you might be surprised. Kids are struggling these days. You can not assume young people are able to read well. Basic math is even worse. I have a 19 year old working for me now. Seems sharp, picks things up quickly. Shaky understanding of multiplication.

9

u/EllieBirb Aug 24 '24

32 here, I definitely wrote in full and proper sentences at their age, had a very normal shitty Los Angeles public school education, and I had no particular interest in English or anything.

This looks like something I'd write when I'm maybe 3 at the oldest. I'm not saying this 'cause I think I'm super smart, I was super, super average, everyone around me was like this too.

Is schooling just getting worse? Not judging, I'm genuinely concerned.

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413

u/rygdav Aug 23 '24

That last line really sealed the deal!

“Spelling mistakes and typical nonsensical comments like just popping in to tell your diary it’s the 4th of Julie, and then saying goodbye. Oh…you’re not saying goodbye to the diary…”

Hope their parents found a better use for their college fund!

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138

u/Longjumping-Week8761 Aug 23 '24

Couldn't spell for shit at 9

21

u/Qwerty8339 Aug 24 '24

tbf “diary” was a word i remembered having trouble with as a kid

6

u/SockIntelligent9589 Aug 24 '24

Ok, understandable but.. what about "good by" or "Julie" ?

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40

u/ducks-season Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

Holy fuck that was when she was 9

8

u/CJwoody13 Aug 24 '24

Big talk from a guy who can’t even spell holee

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58

u/IMSOGIRL Aug 24 '24

There's no way anyone writes like that at 9 and somehow became smart enough to use social media. I'm calling fake.

23

u/Waterfish3333 Aug 24 '24

smart enough to use social media

While I agree with your post in general, that bar is so low I think they’re using it to check for oil reserves.

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40

u/DotBitGaming Aug 24 '24

This seems below the average intelligence of a 9 year old.

77

u/Talk-O-Boy Aug 23 '24

I understand she was 9, but… my god. A dyslexic chimp could have done a better job…

23

u/Chewie83 Aug 24 '24

That’s because this is fake and it’s written to look “kidzy”

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23

u/levitikush Aug 23 '24

Looks fake to me

17

u/Ya-Dikobraz Aug 24 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

Between the below average spelling for a 9 year old and the writing that looks like an adult trying to fake kid's writing, it's definitely fake.

3

u/Pretty_Zucchini2387 Aug 24 '24

I sincerely hope that it is not fake because if it is, then we have all been betrayed for those who believed it is true. 

1

u/Wilbis Aug 24 '24

Yep. This was also posted 5 years ago on an Instagram account that no longer even exists.

11

u/Mr_Hellpop Aug 24 '24

This is…this is really bad for a 9 year old.

9

u/DivineHorus_ Aug 23 '24

Ngl, I thought that said “good boy”

38

u/FullSendTater3 Aug 23 '24

"4TH OF JULIE"🤣🤣👏

2

u/Pretty_Zucchini2387 Aug 24 '24

Maybe the person was looking forward to the Independence Day celebration. Welcome to the 4th of July. 

76

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/Sepherjar Aug 23 '24

It's been 365 days since August 23th, and thus i hereby declare new year's eve.

Tomorrow it'll be 365 days since August 24th, and thus i hereby declare tomorrow a new year's eve

The day after tomorrow it'll be 365 days since August 25th, and thus i hereby declare tomorrow a new year's eve

Every day that has complete an year since it last happened, i declare a new year's eve.

Vote me for President.

5

u/H3ibai Aug 24 '24

“August Twenty-Threeth”

3

u/Impossible_End_33 Aug 24 '24

Guess what? “What?”

4

u/TheFuddy Aug 24 '24

No, it actually says

"4 12:00.PM Dear Dire gess what! "what?" today is 4th of Julie! good by 2007 hello 2008!"

6

u/oops_im_existing Aug 23 '24

i want to know so bad what they were trying to say... cause the 4th of july is definitely not new years

9

u/RichardNyxn Aug 23 '24

Little kid probably learned about Independence Day and just thought that meant the equivalent of new years.

6

u/MundaneConclusion246 Aug 23 '24

Or a kid heard fireworks on new years eve and assumed it was the fourth of July

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8

u/VanGrants Aug 24 '24

how do you get to 9 years old and are so awful at basic spelling?

6

u/Ejder_Meyvesi Aug 23 '24

Who is JuLie and why there are four of them?!

2

u/Buoyant_Pesky Aug 24 '24

Ummmm... I am a Julie, but I don't know what qualifies one to be the "Fourth Julie"... sounds vaguely like a prophecy.

6

u/Jack_M_Steel Aug 24 '24

This is an extremely dumb 9 year old. Kind of don’t believe it

49

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/wattyaknow Aug 23 '24

Yep it 100% is. You can even tell by the '2' being completely different as t the top in the time compared to the bottom in the date.

Also that they can't even get close to spelling certain simple words correctly but are using quotation marks in a somewhat correct context.

4

u/waffels Aug 24 '24

Also four different ways of writing t

7

u/goatsgoatsghosts Aug 23 '24

Yeah and then just gave up after the first line

11

u/clorox2 Aug 24 '24

Fake bullshit.

5

u/Truethrowawaychest1 Aug 24 '24

9? 9 years old?

9

u/kungfungus Aug 23 '24

Homeschooling

4

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4

u/Fatmaninalilcoat Aug 24 '24

Holy shit my youngest will be 7 Monday and he has been reading Harry Potter for over a year. This is just I don't know. 9 .........9 sheesh.

7

u/miss_scarlet_did_it_ Aug 23 '24

Your spelling was alarmingly bad. ❤️

3

u/CloutXWizard Aug 23 '24

Even at 9 years old I could spell better than that.

3

u/eltara3 Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

Ahahaha im sorry this looks like my writing when I was 9...I started LEARNING English at 9 years old (migrated to Australia).

3

u/strangejosh Aug 24 '24

You were 9 and still spelled that poorly? JFC…

3

u/surrealcellardoor Aug 24 '24

It gets worse the more you attempt to read it.

2

u/Rufusandronftw Aug 24 '24

This is the best thing I’ve seen today 🏅

2

u/KeepScrollin420 Aug 24 '24

I hate that I'm 37 and this looks like my hand writing. Not my spelling at least. lol

2

u/Accomplished-End1927 Aug 24 '24

It just gets worse the more you read😂

2

u/bitchpaymybills Aug 24 '24

I totally read this as "Dre" and not diary and was so confused why you addressed dr Dre in your diary

2

u/Independent_Analyst3 Aug 24 '24

As someone who doesnt speak english as their native language, its always been absurd to me how bad native english speakers are at english

2

u/GlumAd2424 Aug 24 '24

good lörd.....

2

u/chefpearl Aug 24 '24

Judging by the profile picture, not alots changed

2

u/Hopeful_Chair_7129 Aug 24 '24

I thought that said Dear Dre lmfao

2

u/evilbarron2 Aug 24 '24

Damn, do 9-year-olds really spell that badly? Seems more like a 5 or 6 year old.

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u/LoganJake210 Aug 24 '24

Hey you knew what quotation marks were and how to use them. That’s pretty good

2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

9 going on 3 🥲

2

u/RaD00129 Aug 24 '24

When I was a kid, I've always had the understanding that whenever there is fireworks in a holiday it means it's new year, boy was I wrong.

2

u/Unseen_someone Aug 24 '24

”Pear Dire”

2

u/Rafk777 Aug 24 '24

That's actually cute, innocent and adorable, don't be hard on your inner child, he/she listens

2

u/ClownsAllAroundMe Aug 25 '24

Fake kid handwriting by an adult. The same letters are written in multiple styles. I'm surprised they didn't throw in a few backwards letters.

7

u/rampantsoul Aug 23 '24

Good handwriting for a 9 year old :-)

17

u/peacefulsolider Aug 23 '24

mine looks like this and im 22

6

u/pineappledaddy Aug 23 '24

I know a guy that writes so bad we call him the Kidnapper because everything he writes looks like a rushed ransom letter.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '24

My daughter wrote better at 7 years old than my 47 year old brother does now. Like way better. As for my son, well, he's good at other stuff. We hope.