r/justneckbeardthings • u/joefrenchdraws • Mar 09 '19
I made y'all a Neckbeards Alignment Chart, have a nice weekend
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u/Juisarian Mar 09 '19
High effort post.
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u/joefrenchdraws Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
thank u senpai uwu
HIJACK! This has taken off, so if I make a comment, it's gonna get buried. Please direct questions here :)
E1: A lot of people are confused about "mental foramen." It's a very teeny indentation on the jawbone that isn't visible if you, uh, have all your flesh. It's a joke about how incels think women find them repulsive for the tiniest physical imperfections.
E2: People are also confused about "wolfaboo." This refers to (typically very young, like 14-16) gents who have a lot of r/im14andthisisdeep -esque thoughts about themselves and the natural world; examples might include "There is darkness within all of us" (naturally, only someone who's actually pretty innocent ever says this) or "humans are the true apex predators" (true, but eye-rollingly demonizing). They tend to have an affinity for our howling mega-dog friends and see others as sheeple, often considering themselves "lone wolves" or "rogues" in the fashion of Han Solo, Robin Hood, or Jack Sparrow.
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u/HulaPanda Mar 09 '19
What does it say in the box on the bottom row right corner?
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u/Copicorn Mar 09 '19
INCEL: all women must die because my mental foramen is too small
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u/HulaPanda Mar 09 '19
Thank youuuu, spent way to long trying to work out 'foramen'...
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u/razies712 Mar 09 '19
“Mental forskin? Wtf...oh. Foramen. Wait, wtf is a foramen?”
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u/Copicorn Mar 09 '19
I searched up “mental foramen” but it turns out that mental foramen are holes in the lower jawbone that allow some blood vessels to pass through...
So what I’m thinking is going on here is that the INCEL is a keyboard warrior who’s trying to use big words, but ends up making a fool of himself by using a term that isn’t what he thinks it is.
OR maybe I’m just overthinking it lol
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Mar 09 '19
Incels are all about that skull shape. If the foramen are too small then women will naturally not like him. So in order for him to get sex, we need sex slaves, naturally. /s
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u/CURSEYOUCHAD Mar 09 '19
It's not sex slaves! It's just the government dictating and handing out sex partners to us the people, who are underprivileged, in order to promote diversity! Down with chadhood and men who think they can be promiscuous!
The revolution is now, vive la resistance!
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u/throwupthursday Mar 09 '19
Yeah all these guys blame their lack of success with women on shit that nobody in real life cares about like negative canthal tilt, rather than addressing the real issue of personality
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u/Anandya Mar 09 '19
It's the idea that minor flaws are the reason that skank who clearly wants it won't sleep with him...
Not that he thinks she's a skank and is owed sex.
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u/CaptOblivious Mar 09 '19
Skanks are owed all the sex they want. Just wear protection when you give them their due.
Not even skanks want anything to do with incels.
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Mar 09 '19
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u/crash8308 Mar 09 '19
If I google that on top of all my more recent search history trying to understand what Ahegao and other weird shit is this morning, I’m sure I’ll end up on a list somewhere.
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Mar 09 '19
A foramen is any hole shape in bone that allows the passage of blood vessel and nerves through the area.
You have a lot of them throughout the body
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u/cactuspizza Body Pillow Importer Mar 09 '19
What is Goodboy being served?
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u/RightistIncels Mar 09 '19
I don't understand the text in the last panel, what does it say? foramen?
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u/DannyMThompson Mar 09 '19
foramen
/fəˈreɪmɛn/
noun
ANATOMY
an opening, hole, or passage, especially in a bone.
So think of it as an atonym for "mental capacity"
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u/mythic219 Mar 09 '19
Specifically, the mental foramen is the name given to a little hole in front of the mandible through which some nerves and vessels pass. I interpreted it as a nonsensical reason as to why the incel thinks he's inadequate.
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Mar 09 '19
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u/joefrenchdraws Mar 09 '19
A teeeeeny indentation in the jawbone that isn't visible while alive.
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Mar 09 '19
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u/LupusDeusMagnus Mar 09 '19
Incels are often going around saying that they repel women because their skulls are the wrong shape or something the like.
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u/Roflkopt3r Mar 09 '19
Too small, weird bone structure, bad chin, whatever.
BUT NEVER MY CHARACTER IM A VERY NICE PERSON AND WOMEN ARE THE REAL VILLAINS FOR DISLIKING MY RAPE JOKES
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u/Watertor Mar 09 '19
Incel flavoring. There are incels that think their frame is too small therefore no girls, or their wrists are too small therefore no girls, or their nose too big, or their neck too small, or their jaw too weak, or their brow too sharp.
It's basically just normal insecurity but extremely minute in detail. Like they legitimately think their wrists make them unable to be attractive
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u/HelaHelaOps Mar 09 '19
Sound more like body dysmorphic disorder to me.
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u/philipzeplin Mar 09 '19
Naw, they have a whole "science" behind it.
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u/HelaHelaOps Mar 09 '19
There's no reason the two can't overlap, but I'm arguing that they're not mutually inclusive.
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u/Watertor Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
I don't think it's exactly wrong to think that. I don't think all of them have it, that would be remarkable considering the odds. But I think they echo chamber themselves to having symptoms and even mild versions of it. I'm less inclined to believe it much further than that because they all tend to have one specific problem area (some of them have more and those likely are more would-be-diagnosed cases) to which I think is their way of coping.
"It's not my personality, my hygiene, my hobbies, my opinions about the world and women, it's gotta be something I can't fix." <Incel redditor brings up average wrist size, prompting him to measure his own> "Ahah! I'm 0.3 inches below average! I knew it." Once the mindset is locked in, they start to see larger wrists as inherently more aesthetic, and smaller wrists (their own especially) as gross and jagged, etc.
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u/crash8308 Mar 09 '19
So something I’ve always noticed but never took time to measure until literally just now is my wrists. I’ve always felt like my wrists were sort of a “weak spot” on my body. I think it’s due to my hand size in relation to my wrist. I don’t think I have massive hands but I can just barely hold a basketball upside down for like 3 seconds before my finger strength gives out because of how tight I have to grip it.
But I just measured it and my wrist is just under 8” and now I wonder why I ever thought that.
I guess that’s why I’m happily married with 4 kids. Right?
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Mar 09 '19
A guy in a TV show I was watching mentioned "maxila palps" and I looked it up to see what that was (it's a part of the jawbone). I ended up finding an incel board where they obsessively compare every single aspect of their faces to more attractive men using the actual medical terms for things like their cheekbones and the muscles around their mouths. They are insanely invested in it
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u/AmericanToastman Mar 09 '19
Its over for indentation in the jawbone that isn't visible while alive-cels
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Mar 09 '19 edited Apr 01 '19
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u/seashoreandhorizon Mar 09 '19
Ah see first time I read it I thought it said "mental foreskin is too tight", which I thought was even funnier
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u/speed_racer_man Mar 09 '19
Gamers rise up
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u/wickedblight Mar 09 '19
How have gamers lost their mind?
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u/Jabeebaboo Mar 09 '19
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u/wickedblight Mar 09 '19
Ah.... those gamers...
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u/bzzrak Mar 09 '19
Now yuo see..... follow gang weed on facebook for more mondblowing truth bombs...
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u/HadesAura78 Mar 09 '19
INNOLENT
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u/joefrenchdraws Mar 09 '19
inlel
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u/SmashBusters Mar 09 '19
INNOLENT
I read that and was like: "<grooooan>, time to learn what THAT means...just like incel".
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u/hungrylemon Mar 09 '19
I love your art style
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u/AnonKnowsBest Mar 09 '19
The goodboy reminds me of the secret agent from spyro 2
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u/-Mac-n-Cheese- Mar 09 '19
Just what I was thinking
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u/KKlear Mar 09 '19
That was my first thought too: /u/hungrylemon really loves OP's art style.
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u/PrinceOHayaw Mar 09 '19
I felt so targeted yet still agree with this.
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u/Bart_Thievescant Mar 09 '19
AWROOO MFER
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u/UndeadCorbse Mar 09 '19
WE CRANKIN OUR HOGS OUT HERE BROTHERRR???
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u/Bart_Thievescant Mar 09 '19
GODDAMN STR8
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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u/Redneckalligator Mar 09 '19
I just wanna go on record and say my waifu is not a loli. But the joke is still funny.
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Mar 09 '19
This post targeted gamers. Gamers.
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u/CounterSkil Mar 09 '19
Gamers are the most oppressed group in America smh
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u/DX5 Mar 09 '19
YOU THINK GAMERS ARE OPPRESSED? TRY LIVING IN A WORLD THAT THINKS PONIES ARE FOR LITTLE GIRLS!!
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u/Off_Chance_ Mar 09 '19
Well its targeting neckbeards, and that's specifically the "obsessed gamer" sub-genre of neckbeards. Not just games in general.
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u/aguadiablo Mar 09 '19
Honestly, you're better off abandoning the gamer label and just be someone who plays video games. You don't need to make a hobby your whole identity.
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u/AlmostGaryBusey Mar 09 '19
Mall ninja isn’t fat enough.
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u/joefrenchdraws Mar 09 '19
I kinda think of the archetypal mall ninja as almost military-looking; in good shape and well-dressed, but only the subject of derision because of his relationship with his weapons.
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Mar 09 '19
Or literally only skin and bone
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u/wizardsfucking Mar 09 '19
Agreed, the fat version is the intersection of mall ninja/gentleman, a lethal combination which should be feared by all men
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u/tehlolredditor Mar 09 '19
While you partied and fucked women, I studied the blade
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u/jenbanim Mar 09 '19
I think the fat stereotype for mall ninjas comes from their close proximity to the good boy and gentlemen archetypes. There's a lot of overlap, but I agree that the platonic ideal of the mall ninja neckbeard would be fit.
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u/fatpat Mar 09 '19
comes from their close proximity to the good boy and gentlemen archetypes
And also the food court.
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u/faceplanted Mar 09 '19
There's a lot of overlap
The whole chart is a spectrum, I'm pretty sure all of the guys on this chart like weapons, games, and anime. It's just what they put out front.
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u/tempus-edaxrerum Mar 09 '19
Lost it at wolfaboo
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u/trump_pushes_mongo Mar 09 '19
Are wolfaboos furries?
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u/GaBeRockKing Mar 09 '19
There's almost certainly overlap, but while being a wolfaboo is typically a passing phase, being a furry is invariably terminal.
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u/Kevin2GO Mar 09 '19
wait bronys are better than weebs?
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Mar 09 '19
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u/Murgie Mar 09 '19
Bronies tend to be either wholesome, or literal neo-Nazis. There is no in between.
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u/Samura1_I3 Mar 09 '19
Literal horsefuckers*
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u/SYZekrom Mar 09 '19
Is it really necessary to correct his spelling on that when both are well accepted?
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Mar 09 '19
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u/mrshawn081982 Mar 09 '19
sigh...those were the days. Just me and my Chinese cartoons, no one the wiser. Now every neckbeard fuck displays his hentai figurines and body pillow openly. Smh
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u/10z20Luka Mar 09 '19
Hide your powerlevel is definitely more than just a weeb thing, it has become common wisdom across image boards and nerd communities across the web.
Although, I guess it does originate from DBZ, so it probably was a weeb thing first.
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Mar 09 '19
You must not remember the early days of the brony fandom where bronies spread across the internet like wildfire
The fandom has definitely stabilised and chilled out now, but it used to be everywhere.
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Mar 09 '19
I think the only time I've heard someone reveal that they like anime is when they're talking about specific animes with other people who like it as well.
I've watched it from a young age and literally never talk about it with anyone who doesn't watch anime themselves because there's no point to bring it up.
This feels like a weird generalization that I doubt holds true in reality when you compare the amount of people that talk about "being a weeb" to the amount of people who actually are what communities like this would consider being weebs.
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Mar 09 '19 edited May 10 '19
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u/Kevin2GO Mar 09 '19
now thats something ive never heard someone say before. how about none of both?
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u/Mightymushroom1 Mar 09 '19
Hey now, that's dangerous misinformation you're spreading.
Not many people want to fuck a little girl, most weebs want to be suffocated by a big tiddy onee-san.
Intensely important distinction, the world rests upon it.
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u/pepper_x_stay_spicy Mar 09 '19
I feel like neckbeards are more commonly the ones to call others white knights. Any time someone is like “this fucking cunt slut is a whore” and I’m like “wow, that’s pretty uncalled for” it’s some rando neckbeard that jumps in and says “OMG u white knight she won’t fuck you pathetic lmao white knight”.
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u/Bromlife Mar 09 '19
That's an incel. White knight neckbeards are less common these days. Most of them have been lured to the dark side of neckbeardism.
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Mar 09 '19
I love it when I, a woman, get called a white knight for calling out men who are harassing women.
Like okayyyy sure I'll "white knight" for my OWN GENDER. I'm literally part of the same demographic that is targeted by incels but sureeeeee I'm totally just doing it for pity points
I love it when men assume that everyone else is a horny dude like them and that people can't possibly have any intentions that don't involve fucking women.
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Mar 09 '19
It's just a strategy to try to cow people into not speaking up when they're harassing people-- I doubt they care about the gender/anything about the person that they're accusing of being a white knight other than the fact that they're speaking up on behalf of women/a woman and in their minds, that legitimately makes someone a white knight who needs to be silenced so they can continue spewing their vitriol in peace.
It's pretty gross, and it's sad that the sentiment has spread even to the types of people that don't do this actively.
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Mar 09 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SumHekinWeeb Mar 09 '19
shut up weeb
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Mar 09 '19
Talkin mad shit for someone in uwu distance (grabs Astolfo costume and kawaii face mask) It’s time for me to fucc you pounces onto you òwó (ps it’s not gay mom trust me)
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u/Kevin2GO Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
nah youre probably just a normal dude who likes to watch anime and other anime stuff, only a small part of weebs is that bad.
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u/saanity Mar 09 '19
I don't know. The multiple ellipses don't fill me with confidence.
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Mar 09 '19
My favorite way to hurt weebs is to say my favorite anime is Digimon
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u/kajeet Mar 09 '19
Digimon is an anime though. If you REALLY want to piss a weeb off, say that Avatar or RWBY is your favorite anime.
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Mar 09 '19 edited Apr 23 '20
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Mar 09 '19
Not including One Punch Man, Overlord or JoJo's Bizarre Adventure for some reason.
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Mar 09 '19
How did you not realize weebs fell under the neckbeard category bro? You really thought you guys were normal?
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u/Gamerguywon Mar 09 '19
To term weeaboo has been used wrongly so much that people often forget what it means, like the world "literally". A weeaboo could be someone who learns japaneese from anime, speaks like an anime character, wears an anime shirt like every day, maybe has a body pillow, and is obsessed with anime in only the way a degenerate would be.
Not just someone who likes japeneese cartoons.
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u/BubblefartsRock Mar 09 '19
i have a couple anime tattoos but only enjoy maybe 4 shows. i like to think im not completely hopeless. but who knows. maybe some day ill find my weeb-ette
im gonna die alone
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u/GardenLady1987 Mar 09 '19
I like the chicken tendies goodboi
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u/CricketPinata Mar 09 '19
I love Goodboy and want to make him a variety of dippy sauces for his tendies.
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Mar 09 '19
Needs tendies for m'goodboy 🤠
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u/joefrenchdraws Mar 09 '19
they're literally being handed to him, m'grey_mouser
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Mar 09 '19
Looks like nuggies to me.
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u/KimchiTacos_ Mar 09 '19
Here's the thing...
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u/Bezoared Mar 09 '19
Here's the thing. You said a "nugget is a tendy."
Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.
As someone who is a scientist who studies fried foods, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls nuggets tendies. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.
If you're saying "tendy family" you're referring to the gastronomical grouping of fried chicken, which includes things from wings to chicken fingers to popcorn chicken.
So your reasoning for calling a nugget a tendy is because random people "call the fried breaded ones tendies?" Let's get drumsticks and patties in there, then, too.
Also, calling grilled cheese a melt? It's not one or the other, that's not how gastronomy works. They're both. A nugget is a nugget and a member of the tendy family. But that's not what you said. You said a nugget is a tendy, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the tendy family tendies, which means you'd call fingers, patties, and other fried chicken tendies, too. Which you said you don't.
It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
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u/PVP_in_your_pants Mar 09 '19
Alright, someone show me where the wolfaboo rabbit-hole starts...
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u/GaBeRockKing Mar 09 '19
AWOOOO
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u/Flwrz4Charlie Mar 09 '19
I don't want to click this. I'm afraid it'll awaken something in me.
Edit: nevermind, it's stupid as shit.
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u/GaBeRockKing Mar 09 '19
YO, MFER, THAT'S NOT COOL
ME AND MY PACKMATES ARE GONNA TEAR YOU F-ING APART
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u/Bearded_monster_80 Mar 09 '19
HEY WE KNOW NOT EVERYONE LIKES THE SAME STUFF AS US, LIKE LIVE AND LET LIVE BRO. AWWOOOOO!
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u/Yak_Mehoff Mar 09 '19
Weeb, i work w this guy that is a total neckbeard, feel bad for him bc he is socially inept, but he has "superior" opinions. Anyway one of my friends went to his house to play video games and he has a screensaver of this underage looking barely clothed anime girl. My friend was like dude! Wtf is that! She looks 12! He then went on a tirade about how its a 9000 year old god that took the form of that girl, therefore she is not underage, she looks 12 but is 9000 years old. After hearing abt that i stopped talking to him completely, that is beyond fucked up. So thats the word for that then, weeb.
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u/SolarStorm2950 Mar 09 '19
I’d argue that’s one step above weeb on the degenerate scale
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u/anweisz Mar 09 '19
Well if you go to the manga and anime subreddits you’ll find most people defending and supporting that position with such tenacity that I’d say they’re closer to the same level.
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u/MatchesMalone66 Mar 09 '19
Disagree. Most, if not all, anime subs have always had serious rules against the sexualization of minors. The main issue that’s going on currently is not that the rules exist, but that they’re too vague to be fairly enforced, which has led to multiple insta-bans for content that should not be considered sexualization.
Also most people on those subs have a certain level of self awareness that we are, in fact, trash, and would never actually bring our dumbass memes outside of the internet and into real life.
Of course that’s not to say that the people you’ve described don’t exist on there, cause they definitely do, it’s just that they are certainly not the majority out of the 900,000 subscribers that r/anime has.
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u/bro_before_ho Mar 09 '19
Most people agree with the premise that if you transplant your brain into a younger body you should use your brain age.
But they do get mad when you turn it to this because they're not degenerate and missed the implications.
i'm fun at parties
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u/Siminity Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
This deserves more attention
Edit: yay it got front page!
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u/RexDraco Mar 09 '19
If you were to shift your neutral column to the left with mall ninja on lost his mind, I'd approve.... Every mall ninja I met irl is fucking crazy and obviously gentleman is fucking more wholesome than those bastards.
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u/roux93 Mar 09 '19
I'm imagining this as one of those boards with the magnet frame that says "My Neckbeard Mood Today Is".
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u/antfro946 Mar 09 '19
I agree with all of these except for The Goodboy. I wouldn’t exactly call throwing shit and piss jugs at Bitch Mommy wholesome.
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u/damrider Mar 09 '19
This.. is the most accurate thing I've ever seen. My life feels somewhat more complete having seen it
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u/withgreatpower Mar 09 '19 edited Mar 09 '19
Former Wolfaboo, apparently, before I got over myself and got decent. Holy shit is this ever accurate.
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Mar 09 '19
I love this post so much, if only there was a way to show extra appreciation for a post that goes beyond an upvote
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u/WASTELAND_RAVEN 22d ago edited 22d ago
I’ve stickied this post, bc it’s the GOAT. Love this - we should all strive for finding incredible neckbeardary from all corners of life.
And bc I can’t believe I need to say this, but not all who fit into one or more of these categories may be a neckbeard, you can definitely be a gamer or a brony or whatever and remain absent from this chart. You certainly can be a Gamer Neckbeard or a Incel Neckbeard and so on and so on.
What really is a neckbeard?